Bronx
I run until it hurts and then I run a little bit more.
There’s a certain calmness to running. It’s methodical and brainless. Anyone can run. Anyone can run fast if they’re willing to push themselves to do it. Right now? I’m going to push myself until I fall down. Alyssa and Jed struggle to keep up with me as I tear through the forest, over a creek, and into a large clearing. I run through it and back into the trees on the other side, never slowing, never stopping.
I can’t stop.
Not now.
I’m afraid that when I stop, I’m going to have to make a decision. That’s not a choice I want to face. This woman is something incredible, something unstoppable. She’s dangerous because I know that I have to kill her, but I don’t want to. Executing her for attempting to kill me is the obvious choice. She tried to murder me, but I can’t seem to stomach the idea of hurting her.
Why don’t I want to?
I’ve killed before.
We all have.
It’s part of life when you’re part of a pack. If you want food, you hunt it. If you’re attacked by another shifter, you fight them. Often, it’s to the death. I’ve never been scared of death. Killing has never bothered me until now.
Now, the idea of slitting the human’s throat bothers me and I hate that.
When I carried her over the threshold and into my bedroom, she didn’t even move. She didn’t protest. She didn’t fight me. She just seemed so resigned, almost broken. I hate knowing that I’m the one who made her feel that way.
We could fix all of this, my wolf whispers. We could save her.
I ignore him. I don’t want to think about trying to save Madison. I don’t want to think about keeping her because I know that if I start to think about it too much, it’s just going to hurt more when it’s time to make that choice.
Instead of thinking, I keep running, racing through the woods. My lungs are starting to burn, but I don’t care. Fuck that pain. I push forward, spiraling myself deeper into the woods.
Then I spot a rabbit.
Rabbit sounds good for dinner.
I run full-steam ahead until I’m about to pounce on the little creature, but I don’t jump when I ought to. Instead, I hesitate, just for a fraction of a second. It’s enough time for the rabbit to escape from me, though.
Alyssa stops beside me and shifts to her human form. I don’t look at her because I know exactly what she’s going to say.
“What the fuck, Bronx?”
“Alpha?” Jed appears on my opposite side. “What just happened?”
“Show some respect, Alyssa,” I tell her when I, too, shift back.
“Okay, Alpha Bronx, I repeat, what the fuck?” She jerks her head to the space where the rabbit was. “I’ve never seen you miss a rabbit from this distance. Hell, I’ve never seen you miss anything from this distance. What just happened?”
“I just…I guess I’m just not that hungry,” I tell her.
It’s a lie.
We all know it.
“Not that hungry?” She raises an eyebrow. “Really? You want to play it that way?”
“We know what this is about,” Jed places a hand on my shoulder. “And you can talk to us. We’re your right-hand guys.” He’s not wrong, but I’m still not ready to express my feelings about Madison: mostly because I can’t pinpoint exactly what they are.
“Yeah,” Alyssa says. “We’ve always been by your side. We aren’t about to stop now. Even with the rumors, we’re here for you.” She shrugs.
“Rumors?”
“Oh,” she waves a hand. “It’s nothing. Just random pack bullshit. You know how it goes. Doesn’t matter what people are saying, though. All that matters is that you’re happy. You are happy, aren’t you?” She asks, cocking her head.
I didn’t know there were rumors circulating about me in the pack. What the hell is that about? Are the pack members unhappy with my performance as Alpha? If they are, this is news to me. It’s also something that needs to be addressed quickly.
“You let the rabbit go, Bronx,” Alyssa softens her voice. “Why did you do that?”
Because I don’t want to hurt anything else today.
“It’s because of the woman, isn’t it?” Jed asks. “She’s getting inside of your head.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “You should kill her now.”
I growl. “My relationship with the human is none of your concern.”
“Relationship?” Jed’s eyes narrow. “What the fuck happened in the woods?”
“Again,” I repeat. “None of your concern. She’s mine, and you can stop fucking worrying about it.”
Neither one of them seems to like that response.
Well, too-fucking-bad.
My job as Alpha isn’t to please everyone. It’s to keep the pack healthy and safe and together. It’s to keep them unified. I’m concerned about Alyssa’s “rumors” comment. What rumors is she talking about? The first signs of unrest in a pack can’t be ignored. That’s how you get knocked out of your position as leader of the pack. I’m not about to do that.
I like Alyssa and Jed. They’re right when they say they’ve been by my side. I just hope that continues and this isn’t some sort of façade. Right now, I can’t think straight and I need someone to help me focus on what’s important.
“How long have these rumors been circulating?” I ask, bringing the conversation back to Alyssa’s earlier comment.
Jed and Alyssa exchange glances, but neither one speaks right away. Alyssa licks her lips slowly. I’ve seen her do this move so many times before. She does it when she’s thinking.
Or when she wants to distract someone.
For awhile, Alyssa actually seemed to want me for a mate, but when I made it clear I wasn’t interested in her like that, she backed off. She’s a good person and a great leader, but we just don’t have the chemistry I think you need to have with a mate.
Not like the way I felt with Madison.
Now there’s someone I could kiss again and again.
“It’s nothing,” Jed says. “Like Alyssa said. Just random comments we’ve been hearing. Some people think you’re away from the pack too much,” he shrugs.
“Away from the pack? This was literally the first time I’ve been gone.”
“You know how wolves get,” Alyssa steps in quickly. “I’m sure everything will calm down shortly.”
Fuck.
It better.
I don’t have time to deal with unruly wolves on top of everything else I’m going through. It doesn’t matter right now, though. I’ll figure something out with the wolves. I’ll talk to them. I’ll show them that I am a dedicated Alpha. I haven’t heard any of these so-called rumors, and word tends to travel quickly in the pack. I’ll put out feelers and see what I can find out about just how far this unrest has actually spread.
Pushing the thought from my head, I shift back to my wolf form. It’s time to go home. I might have lied about the rabbit, but the truth is that my appetite really is gone and I’m ready for a reprieve. Hunting has been…eventful, I suppose. I’m ready for some solitude, though.
For a little while, I just want to go be alone. I don’t want to have everyone watching me, waiting for me to make a decision or a mistake. Alyssa and Jed shift back, as well, and they follow me back to the Oasis Pack.
Once we reach the gates, we all shift back.
“Alyssa, perimeter check,” I tell her. “Jed, you check the north hills.”
“Got it,” they say in unison, and they take off to do as I asked. We regularly have a couple of wolves patrolling the area and watching for problems, but I always like to do an extra check in the evenings. Just in case. Tonight it feels particularly important. Maybe it’s just because I have a heavy heart and I’m feeling stressed and anxious.
We’re not particularly close to any dragon clans or wolf packs. I suspect there’s a group of bears lurking nearby, but I haven’t confirmed that yet. Still, it never hurts to be safe. At the very least, patrolling should be enough to know if we need to ward off any lost campers or stray humans who might happen to wander through these parts.
Alyssa and Jed are more than capable of handling all of that right now. I wait until they’ve gone, and then I head through the front gates, nodding my head to the wolf on gate duty, and I go directly to my house.
Madison is there waiting for me. She might be afraid and alone. She might be sore and tired. I’ve never had a pet before and I’ve never had a human before and I’ve never had a prisoner before. I don’t really know how to take care of someone, so I’m going to have to guess. Everything I’m about to do is going to be guess work.
Will she freak out when I go back?
Will she be hungry?
Will she be asleep?
“Alpha,” a voice cuts into my thoughts. I turn and see Fiona standing there. Tall and lean, I don’t know how anyone could miss the fact that the schoolteacher is a wolf-shifter.
“Fiona,” I say, stopping. “Were you waiting at my house for me?”
“I was waiting for you to be alone,” she says quietly. She looks over her shoulder. “Can we talk inside?”
“Yes.”
I open the door and we go into my living room. Then I close the door behind us. I’m not sure why Fiona wants to talk to me alone, but it can’t be good. She’s one of the sweetest wolves in the pack. It’s her job to educate the next generation of wolves, and Fiona is a strong voice in our community. Her opinion is very valuable to me and I’m interested to hear what she has to say. She’s kind and sweet and incredibly caring. I suspect that if Fiona found a chance to talk with me alone, she’s worried about something.
“Watch your back,” she says carefully. She keeps looking around, as if we’re going to be interrupted. Her comment catches me off-guard.
“Excuse me? Care to explain that comment?”
She nods slowly. “You were only gone for a few days,” she says. “And during that time, things got a little…weird. Alpha, I’m a bit worried, and I think you need to be careful. You’ve been a strong leader during your time here and you’re greatly respected in the pack. I fear that not all of the wolves feel this way, though.”
“What do you mean things got weird?” I ask her. “Weird…how?” I think about Alyssa’s comment. She said there were rumors spreading throughout the pack. What exactly is being said about me and my leadership capabilities?
“It’s not so much that anything actually happened,” she says. “But Alyssa and Jed…” She hesitates.
“What is it?”
“I’m not insinuating anything,” Fiona says quietly. “But they seemed very comfortable leading the pack while you were away. Too comfortable.” Fiona turns to the door and pauses, then looks back over her shoulder. “Be careful, Alpha.”
Then she’s gone.