Madison
My head is throbbing as I open my eyes. I hit my head against the tree when I fainted, apparently, and passing out in the forest doesn’t exactly agree with me. Then I remember why I passed out, and my eyes shoot open. The wolf. The wolf woke up and he wanted to hurt me, kill me. He was angry that I drugged him. He knew it was me who did it to him. I could see it in his eyes.
He was aware.
Now I blink furiously, trying to clear my vision so I can find the wolf. He’s got to be around here somewhere, right? I mean, he wouldn’t have just left once I passed out. That would have been the perfect time to abduct or hurt me. That would have been his one shot to slit my throat if that’s what he wanted to do.
But I don’t see him.
“Hello?”
Nothing.
It’s only silence.
It’s only me and the forest, and if I had to guess, I’d say I just lost my last chance to get the fur I need for Eva’s medication. He might have been here earlier, but if this creature just walked away, I don’t think there’s any chance of him coming back. Not today.
“Is anyone there?”
I try one more time. Straining my ears, I try to listen for any sign that he might be lurking nearby just waiting to scare me or freak me out. I’m lying on the ground on my side. I haven’t tried to move yet because my head is still spinning. Everything feels painful and difficult right now, but I don’t hear anything.
Could it be possible?
The wolf is gone.
He’s actually left me here: alone and unharmed.
That can’t be right, can it? I’m on the ground and I’m in kind of a weird position, so finally, I move. I shift my body, trying to sit up. Then I realize that I can’t sit up. I can’t move at all. I’m stuck right where I am.
“What the fuck?”
I wiggle quickly, trying to free myself.
Am I caught on a branch?
The grass?
Why can’t I move?
I wrestle my arms, trying to pull them free from whatever’s holding them in place, but I can’t. Something is rubbing against them. The texture feels familiar, but I can’t quite place it. It’s rough and course, but it doesn’t quite feel like bark.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I groan.
I know what it is.
It’s rope.
I’m tied up.
If I had to guess, it’s not just any rope, either: it’s the rope from my bag. That fucker went through my shit and tied me up with my own rope? Who does that? Furthermore, how could a wolf do that? Is there another human around that I’m not aware of? Does that wolf belong to someone who is now upset with me?
My arms are tied together behind my back, and I look around frantically, trying to see who’s done this to me. Apparently, I’m not as alone as I thought I was. Suddenly, I hear a sound. Footsteps. Whoever tied me up is coming back and judging by the sounds of him stomping on leaves and twigs, he’s not in a good mood. I squeeze my eyes shut and count to ten, but then I force them open. I need to see whoever has me. I should face him. I’m brave enough for that.
I’ve never considered myself to be especially strong or clever, but right now, I have to be strong for Eva.
A foot appears in front of me, followed by a second. There is no sound, no noise, and no voice. The person doesn’t speak. Instead, they wait. I take one more deep breath, and then I slowly move my eyes up.
Two bare feet.
Two very hairy legs.
One very long…
“Fucking dragons!”
I squeeze my eyes shut.
Yep.
There’s a very, very, very naked person in front of me.
A naked man: to be specific.
“It’s fucking wolves, actually, and you’d do well to watch your mouth around me. I’m not really in the mood to deal with a petulant little child right now.” His words come out in a snarl. Is that even possible? Disdain drips from them, though, and I can instantly tell this man hates me. Why, though? What did I ever do to him? Did he just stumble across me passed out in the darkness and think it would be a fun idea to kidnap someone?
What is he going to do to me?
Fuck.
My heart sinks.
Is he going to hurt me?
Eva.
I’m doing this for Eva.
I’m going into the forest for Eva and no matter what this monster decides to do to me, I’m going to stay strong for Eva. I have to. I owe her that much. I’m not going to die now. I’m not going to let this monster destroy me. He can’t. He won’t.
“Who are you?” I keep my eyes closed. “What do you want? I don’t have money, if that’s what you’re after. I’m not that good in bed, either, so if you’re planning to rape me, well…” My voice trails off, and suddenly, I wonder if this is how it’s going to end.
A dread settles in my stomach as I realize that this man wants to kill me and despite fully believing in myself to stay strong and face my fears, there’s not very much I can do to stop him if that’s what he wants. If he wants to hurt me, well, then, he’s going to hurt me. I’m tied up. I’m incapable of defending myself in this moment.
My earlier bravado is fading quickly: sucked away faster than I could have ever imagined. Just a second ago, I was ready to believe that the rest of my life will bright and beautiful and long, but I don’t know if I believe that anymore.
I’ve been caught by a random psycho in the woods and now Eva is never going to get the help she needs. I’m going to die alone, in the darkness, and she’s never going to know what happened to me. Is she going to be afraid? Is she going to worry about me, I wonder? Or is she in too much pain to do anything but just survive?
“You know who I am,” the man says. I don’t open my eyes. I just shake my head. I hear him moving. With my eyes closed, suddenly each of my other senses seems to be on high alert. I know he’s moving around, and then he crouches beside me.
I can sense him.
I can fucking feel him there.
His presence seems to be larger than life. He shouldn’t be able to impact me this way. Not by just standing there, yet that’s exactly what this creature is doing. I’m not looking at him, but I can feel his gaze on me. There’s something terrifying about this on an instinctual level. This man isn’t just looking at me. Something makes me think he can see right through me.
Isn’t that just a little bit crazy?
I feel him lifting me from the ground: shifting my body. I hold perfectly still as he moves me to his liking. He finishes and releases me. Now I’m sitting on my bottom with my legs ahead of me. My arms are still firmly behind my back and my eyes are still squeezed shut.
“Open your fucking eyes,” he says, and I open them. The thought of disobeying doesn’t even cross my mind. I couldn’t disobey this man even if I wanted to. He’s up close, in my face, and he stares at me. His gaze goes straight to my soul, and that’s when I see it.
That’s when I realize who he really is.
What he is.
“You’re the wolf,” I whisper.
“Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!” He glares at me, and I try to turn away from him. His words sting deeply, but he’s not letting me off easy. Instead, the man grips my chin and forces me to keep my gaze on him. His eyes hold hurt and a deep bitterness. “What you did,” he hisses. “I will never forgive.”
“I’m so, so sorry,” I whisper. I start crying then, silently, as he holds me in place. His eyes are not soft or kind. They’re hard and fierce, and I know he’s made up his mind about me. In his eyes, I’m the monster. This isn’t the time to tell him I was just trying to help my friend. It’s not the time to promise that things will be different in the future. I want to explain why I did what I did, but I can already tell that this wolf doesn’t want to hear it.
“Sorry,” he repeats in a mocking tone. “You’re sorry. Hmm. Interesting. You weren’t so sorry when you were drugging that food, now were you? You weren’t sorry when you were packing these traps in your bag?” He dangles them in front of my face, and I blush, embarrassed.
He’s right.
I came out here with one intention.
I wanted to catch a wolf.
Well, I caught one.
It was just the wrong wolf.
I don’t know what else to say, so I say nothing. His grip is firm on my chin as he stares at me, searching my eyes for secrets. Eventually, he drops his hand and turns away. I want to rub the spot where he was touching me. My chin and jaw are sore now, but I don’t reach for face. I can’t. My hands are tied tightly behind my back and something tells me there will be no dramatic escape from these ties. I don’t bother wiggling to test their strength. I think that would only anger him more.
The man walks back and forth in front of me for a minute, muttering. Then he moves out of my line of sight. I hear him touching various things and making a fair amount of noise. He’s going through my things, I realize, and I’m being forced to listen as touches what should be my private belongings. I shift, trying to adjust how I’m sitting so that I can see him, but I don’t quite have a visual because there are so many trees around us. A particularly large one is blocking my view, but there’s no doubt he’s touching my things.
Is he trying to get me riled up?
Does he want to upset me?
My flashlight and hiking gear are things I don’t I don’t really care about. Those are replaceable. Then I hear the wolf-man speak loudly, though, and his words make my blood run cold.
“What have we here? A book.”
No.
Not that book.
Not that.
I gulp, willing myself to be quiet. Maybe if I don’t say anything, he won’t realize how important that book is to me. If I keep my mouth shut, he’ll think it’s just some old story and he’ll leave it. Then I can grab it later before I go home. I will be going home, right? Maybe? Possibly? I can get it when he’s done with me.
That is, if he’s ever going to be done with me.
The man moves toward me with the book in his hands. My eyes are planted on the ground in front of me. I’m not about to let him know how much I care about the book he’s carrying. That’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to know how important this volume is to me or that I’ll do anything to protect it. He doesn’t need to know my mother gave this to me or that it’s one of my last memories of her.
“Interesting reading material for someone who likes to torture wolves,” he comments.
I bite my tongue.
Hard.
“Stories for the Dreamer,” he says, reading the front cover of the book. “For anyone who dares to imagine something better.”
Again, I don’t say anything, but I can tell he’s waiting to see how I’ll react. I don’t panic. I stay perfectly still, perfectly quiet, and I take deep, reasonable breaths. Deep breaths. That’s all anyone can expect me to do right now. My arms are sore from being tied behind me for so long and my legs are starting to cramp up, but still, I do not move.
And then I hear the sound of my heart breaking because this man tears a page out of the book.
My mother’s book.
It’s all I have left of her.
I bite my lip harder as he tears page after page after page. I don’t beg him to stop. I don’t ask him to. I just cry, harder and harder, until he’s done. A page flutters and lands in front of me.
The note on the first page, I realize. I can read it from here.
For Madison, my baby girl. I will always love you. Love, Mommy.
I reach for it with shoe, trying to pull it toward myself. I wiggle and move in the dirt, trying to reach it. The man watches as I twist around, scoot backwards, and eventually pick up that sheet of paper with my hands, which are still tied behind me. Our eyes meet, suddenly, and he doesn’t look angry anymore.
No, now his eyes hold only pity.
He thinks I’m pathetic, but I don’t care.
This book means everything to me.
Everything.
It’s the last piece of my mother that I have, and I will never forgive the wolf-man for doing this.
Never.