Gunnar’s case was really getting to him. Liam had gotten to know the alpha well enough to see that. He texted he was downstairs, almost two hours late, in jeans and a rumpled T-shirt, his cheeks smelling too strongly of aftershave.

"Did you look through the peephole?" Gunnar demanded before he even said hello.

"I knew it was you," Liam said. The hair on his arms raised. Had he grown careless? Liam added, uncertainly, "You texted."

"I know. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I'm late." Gunnar wrapped his arms around Liam, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Rough case?" Liam asked. Not that he needed to. The difficulty of the case was written in the strength of Gunnar's grip and the tightness in his shoulders, abdomen, and chest.

"The victim was an omega. I can't talk about it. But I need you to be careful." Gunnar let out a sigh and then pressed a kiss to Liam's temple. "I know you're cautious. I just worry. If anything was to happen to you...I don’t know what I’d do."

Liam felt strange to be reassuring Gunnar when he was so often afraid that Damon might step out from around the corner or come up from him from behind while he and Lucky were walking through the park. "I'm careful," Liam said. "I promise."

"I wanted to take you out for Italian. You must be starving," Gunnar said. "I hope you had a snack."

"I ate some leftover pizza from Pam's party. And I figured we could order in."

"I've been looking forward to taking you out, but – –."

"Really, it's fine." Liam led Gunnar inside and up the stairs. Lucky greeted them, as usual, and as usual, Gunnar showered the dog with attention. Liam pulled the take-out menus from under the magnet on the refrigerator door and began flipping through them. "We have Thai, Indian, pizza, Chinese, do you have a preference?"

"Your choice. It's the least I can do since I'm already so late."

"Your job is important. I know that."

"You're important."

The intensity of Gunnar's gaze made Liam's skin feel warm.

Every time Gunnar looked at him like that, it only reminded Liam how incredibly lucky he was. He felt a little bad being so happy, considering Gunnar's first husband had to die for them to meet. Liam knew he couldn't take the other omega's place, but he wanted to be with Gunnar in every way he could. It was too soon to talk about love or the future, and Liam brutally tried to stamp that hope out when it reared its ugly head, but still, in his heart, he wanted this to become something more. Something permanent.

Maybe Gunnar felt the same way. When they were in each other's arms, when Gunnar’s knot filled him and all Liam knew was the connection, closeness, and pleasure, he imagined – – he was certain Gunnar had to feel the same way. But outside of Friday nights and late-night phone calls, their lives didn't touch. Gunnar hadn't invited Liam around their house when Olivia was there. Gunnar hadn’t introduced Liam to his brothers, and Liam doubted he even mentioned that they were seeing each other. It had only been a month, and Liam reminded himself of this. He didn't want to seem clingy. And after Damon, Liam knew how damaging it was when someone wanted too much, and wouldn't accept no.

Liam picked up a menu at random. "Pad Thai? And yellow curry."

Gunnar gave Lucky a final pat on the belly and stood. "You love your yellow curry."

Liam grinned. "And I love the taste of peanuts on your lips."

Gunnar came over and put his arms around Liam's waist.

“When’s your birthday?”

“Huh?”

“Mine’s September 5^th.”

“November 12^th.”

Gunnar kissed the shell of his ear. “I want to buy you a new phone.”

They asked for your credit card information and address and kept that on file when you signed a contract. Liam definitely couldn’t have that. “No,” he said firmly. “I don’t want any cell-phone plans.”

“You don’t have to buy a plan, I will. I want you to have a decent phone. If only so you can call me without us getting cut off.”

It was tempting, especially as Gunnar ran his one hand down Liam’s side, grasping his hip. But Liam didn’t want to be dependent on Gunnar for a phone. If something went wrong, and Damon tracked down Liam, the phone would have to be abandoned anyway. Why spend money on it? “No,’ Liam said again. “I don’t want it.”

Gunnar was quiet for a while. Enough to make Liam second-guess himself. “Please, no phone.” Liam said. “I really don’t want you to have to pay for it.”

Liam turned around and looked into his lover’s eyes.

They kissed, slow and sweet but with a little bit of teeth, just so Liam knew the sweep wouldn't last too long. He loved kissing Gunnar. He loved pressing his body so close to the alpha that even with the clothing between them, it was hard to tell exactly where he ended and Gunnar began. He loved the hearty muscles of Gunnar's ass and lower thighs. Gunnar had a true alpha's body, powerful and strong. Sometimes it scared Liam how easily Gunnar could overpower him if he wanted to. But Gunnar only touched Liam to bring him pleasure. To bring them both pleasure. And in spite of his past, with Gunnar, Liam felt safe.

Since fleeing Philadelphia, Liam hadn't had a reason to look forward to Friday nights until now. Friday nights with Gunnar were the highlight of his week.

They went together to the couch, put on the TV, and ignored it. It was almost like being a teenager, though for Liam being a teenager had never included making out with a hot alpha on the couch. They petted each other through their clothes, and Liam's arousal was a slow, simmering pool. He floated in it, just enjoying the feel of Gunnar against his body, and the sounds he made as Liam, straddling him, slowly rubbed their cocks together until both men were sighing softly.

The doorbell rang. Liam flinched at the sharp buzz and jumped back from Gunnar as though he had been shocked.

"I'll get it," Gunnar said, and Liam moved so the alpha could put both feet on the floor and stand. Gunnar said, "You just sit there and keep looking gorgeous."

Liam's cheeks heated. He knew Gunnar's complements were genuine; there was no mistaking the alpha’s attraction, but it still made Liam feel uncomfortable, like one day Gunnar would take a good, hard look at him and realize his effusive praise was somehow mistaken.

They ate Thai. Liam curled up in the crook of Gunnar's arm cradling a bowl of curry with tofu as Gunnar sucked down noodles through his teeth.

Ferrous, smelling chicken, tried with varying degrees of success to climb into Gunnar's lap.

"Can I give her some?" Gunnar asked.

"Garlic's not good for cats. And if you give her an inch, she'll take two miles."

"She just looks so sad with that one giant eye."

Liam agreed, and he often succumbed to Ferrous’ begging, which explained why the cat was two pounds overweight.

"I have to go to a conference in two weeks," Liam said. “It goes from Friday afternoon to Sunday. In Seattle." He was going under Dr. Griffin's name, as the aging doctor had two horses on her farm ready to foal, and she didn't want to leave them. "I'll miss Friday."

"We’ll make time. Thursday you’ll be packing but – –."

"Come after."

Gunnar grinned and pressed a kiss to Liam's cheek. "After and often."

Liam ground. "You know that's another dad joke, right?"

"It's not a dad joke if it's about sex. That's a rule."

"Fair enough." They managed to get the half-empty boxes into the fridge before starting to strip each other in earnest.

"I do have a couple of slices of the pineapple upside down cake in the fridge," Liam said into Gunnar's chest. The thick, soft hair tickled his nose, and Liam relished in the feel of it against his cheek and lips.

"Later," Gunnar said.

Liam had started doubling up on his suppressors in preparation for the conference. He wanted to wait to go into heat with Gunnar. He just hoped they could take a whole weekend. His body seemed cooperative, to Liam's surprise, as it had been a little over four months since his last heat.

That had been awful, three days on the bare floor of his apartment, desperately afraid Damon would somehow track him down and at the same time wanting the alpha's touch. Usually, Liam's heats didn't hit him so hard. He'd suppressed them for his adult life, and while he was useless for a day, he didn't have the longer five or six-day stretches that some omegas endured. Or relished in, depending on their ability to find company for it.

Gunnar’s job was busy though, and they weren't even dating. Would Gunnar be able to take a couple of days off? Would he even want to?

"What's wrong, baby?" Gunnar asked.

"Nothing," Liam said quickly. He couldn't ruin his time with Gunnar. Their time together was precious. Liam kissed down Gunnar’s pectoral to his nipple, which he gently took between his teeth. Gunnar's nipples were sensitive, and as always drove him wild. Liam loved knowing this. Each reaction he drew out of the alpha was like a diamond or some other kind of precious jewel. Something he could own and cherish.

Liam teased Gunnar’s nipple until he groaned, and then moved to the other. Liam was hard, and Gunnar's erection pressed against his belly, promising its glorious knot. How had Liam lived so long without knowing this pleasure?

Gunnar grabbed the bottom of Liam's T-shirt and pulled it up. As much as Liam was enjoying making Gunnar moan, he loved when the alpha touched him, kissed him, and more than once, sucked on his cock until Liam was on the barest edge of exploding.

Lucky was by the door, occupied with his chew toy. Maybe they could stay here. Liam had never had sex in the kitchen.

Then Lucky barked, and Gunnar said, "Bedroom."

Liam agreed. Neither of them wanted Lucky to start nipping at their bits.

Gunnar closed and locked the door, and said, "I want you to lay down for me. Strip, and let me see all of you."

Liam shivered with anticipation.

"Arms over your head. Can you grab on to the headboard?"

Liam reached up and grabbed the parts of it with both hands. He didn't like being restrained, and the one time Damon had suggested it, the base, animal part of his brain had screamed no, and Liam had refused. But he enjoyed following Gunnar's orders. Or really requests. He enjoyed challenging himself to do what his alpha asked, and Gunnar always made it so good.

Gunnar stood over the bed with a light sheen on the bare skin of his chest and the sculpted glory of his abs.

"How can you be so amazing?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers over Liam's chest, circling his right nipple lightly with his fingertip/fingernail, before rolling the tiny, hardening nub between his fingers. The pressure went straight to Liam's cock, which had already been half hard in anticipation of what Gunnar would do next. Liam's eyes fell shut, and Gunnar said, "Look at me."

Liam opened his eyes. Gunnar had moved to the other nipple now, rolling and pinching until the mix of pleasure tinged with the slightest hint of pain made Liam squirm.

“Think I can get you off without touching your cock?" Gunnar asked.

"I don't – –." It sounded sexy, and the uncertainty only made Liam want to make an attempt. He bit his lip and nodded.

"I'm going to do everything for you tonight. I want you to feel good, and I want you to want me so much that when I'm inside of you, when my knot fills you, you won't be able to stop yourself from exploding, you’ll come so hard."

Gunnar kept his word. He started at Liam's feet, licking along the instep and teasing his toes.

Liam laughed. "You're tickling me."

"The feet are right next to the cock in the brain. He briefly nibbled at Liam's ankles, which had both of them laughing and then worked his way up, running his fingernails over Liam's thighs, spreading his legs and pushing up his knees to lather attention on his balls.

Liam clenched the bedpost with all his strength, his hips lifting and then falling as he tried to push into Gunnar's incredible tongue. Liam's cock was dripping, and so hard it almost hurt.

"Please, please," Liam begged.

"I'm not going to touch you there," Gunnar said.

Why had Liam agreed to do this? It felt so good, and when Gunnar pushed his index finger, wet with his spit, slowly inside, brushing it against Liam's prostate, Liam turned his head into his arm and whined.

Gunnar did it again. Liam tried to keep his eyes open, but the slight burn of Gunnar's finger and his aching, neglected cock was too much. Watching Gunnar only turned him on more, and Liam wasn't sure he could take that.

He thrust his hips into the air. Maybe Gunnar would take mercy on him.

Something tickled over the head of his cock.

Liam opened his eyes. Gunnar leaned over his cock with his lips pursed. Was Gunnar blowing on it?

"Fuck," Liam groaned.

"You like it when I blow you?"

"I hate you."

Gunnar had unbuttoned his pants, and he had his left hand inside, touching himself.

"No fair," Liam managed.

"I know." Gunnar pressed a kiss to Liam's belly then, with one finger still in Liam's hole, he licked upwards while Liam ground his ass against that single digit.

"Is the lube still in your bottom drawer?"

"Yes. Get it. I want you inside me. Now."

"You're bossy when you're horny."

One stroke, that's all it would take for Liam to come. Gunnar circled Liam's nipple with the pad of his thumb. The tickle was good, but not enough.

Gunnar pulled his finger from Liam's hole and leaned over, pulling the bottom drawer of the nightstand open and rifling through it. He kept a hand on Liam's thigh, and the touch grounded him though it did nothing to tamp his need. His hands were cramped from clutching so tightly to the headboard, but he didn't dare let go. If he let go, it would be too easy to grab himself, and as frustrating as this was, a part of him was enjoying the game.

"Got it," Gunnar said. “You got a new bottle."

"We'd run out.

Gunnar rubbed his right hand in a slow circle on Liam's thigh. "You're perfect. I'm amazed you're still holding on. And that you haven't hit me."

"Hurry up and get inside of me," Liam demanded. He usually tried to be polite, but with how he was feeling, with as much as he needed Gunnar to touch him, or at least get inside of him, he couldn't be polite.

Gunnar took his hand from Liam's thigh, and Liam opened his eyes for a moment to see the alpha flick his tongue over Liam's nipple. How long was Gunnar going to tease him like this? Liam arched his back, and Gunnar took his nipple and sucked, drawing pleasure straight out of Liam, and Liam moaned, arching his back as his cock leaked onto his skin. He started to close his legs, but Gunnar said, "No. I want to see you."

So Liam lifted his hips, his cock rutting the open air, desperate for any friction.

Gunnar gave his other nipple a quick pinch and then kissed Liam. Liam parted his lips, reaching out his tongue, wanting to fuck Gunnar's mouth the way he wanted to feel Gunnar's hand on his cock.

Gunnar nibbled on Liam's bottom lip, as their tongues slid together. His palm lightly rubbed through Liam's chest hair, fingertips brushing his collarbone and then his hand was around Liam's neck. At that moment, Liam couldn't breathe, remembering Damon's hands around his neck, squeezing.

"No!” Liam screamed as his hands flew off the headboard, pushing Gunnar away with all his strength.

"Liam! Liam!"

Liam scooted back on the bed, his heart pounding, and then he remembered again where he was, and whoo he was with, and then all he wanted to do was crawl under the sheet and die. "I'm sorry," Liam said, everything forgotten except his shame. "I'm sorry."

Gunnar stood two feet away from the bed, his hands open, and down at his side, a little away from his hips. "What did I do? Oh God! You have nothing to apologize for."

Liam drew his knees up to his chest and hummed to himself. How could he have felt so good, and now, the fear was ebbing, and he just felt wrung out. He was shaking.

Gunnar said, "He choked you, didn't he? That bastard choked you."

"He said he didn't mean it. He said it was going to be good, and…" Liam wiped his hand under his eye. He was crying. What the hell was wrong with him? "It was an accident."

"That's no fucking accident. I'm never going to touch you there again. I didn't – – I'd never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"I know." Even with Gunnar there, Liam felt so alone and so inadequate.

"I can go," Gunnar said.

"Stay."

On the other side of the door, Lucky was barking and growling, scratching at the wood.

"It's okay, Lucky," Liam said. "I'm okay."

"Can I – – do you want me to touch you right now?"

Liam nodded. "I trust you. More than anyone I've ever been with. I didn't know that would happen."

Gunnar sat down on the very edge of the bed. "Is this okay?"

"Can you hold me?" Liam's voice cracked.

Gunnar scooted closer to him and put his arms around Liam. Liam moved closer, wanting to feel Gunnar around him. Gunnar's scent was so good, and it calmed him. Everything about Gunnar made Liam feel safe. Which only made this worse. He hated how his whole life was now defined by one awful moment. One awful relationship. He couldn't let his life come to that. He couldn’t let his own fears chase Gunnar away.

"Kiss me, hard," Liam said. “Please.”

“Are you sure?”

Liam nodded. “I’m sure.” He’d never been so sure of anything in his life.