Gunnar kissed his daughter goodnight and then, exhausted, went to the kitchen for a cold glass of juice. He would've liked a beer, but after drinking himself into a stupor the week after Adam's death, Gunnar had poured all of his alcohol down the sink and refused to keep any more in the house. So juice it was. Apple, golden yellow, and at least with a touch of seltzer it went down like soda. He took the glass to the living room couch and sat down.

I really screwed things up, didn't I?

Gunnar couldn't stop thinking about Liam. Dr. Chandler. Standing in front of the omega's apartment door, Gunnar had wanted him. Kind, beautiful Liam who smelled like caramel and the promise of sex. Adam had been dead barely a year, 412 days, and Gunnar was lusting after the family pet's veterinarian. Stupid. And worse, he'd insulted the man.

Totally screwed up.

But in spite of his own stupid emotions, Gunnar had made himself a promise. Olivia had left the laptop on the sofa, plugged in. Gunnar took a sip of his carbonated apple juice, put it on the table, and opened the laptop up. He could do a more thorough background check at work, but for now, the Internet would have to suffice.

Dr. Liam Chandler, from somewhere on the East Coast. His accent wasn't obvious. No New Hampshire or Boston ring, nor did he sound like New York City. He also didn't have a southern drawl. It didn’t leave much to go on.

Gunnar started at the Griffin Animal Clinic’s website. There would have to be some information about the doctor there. Except the website didn't look like it had been updated for at least a year. And even then, it just mentioned the basics: the clinic’s address, a short biography of Dr. Griffin with a photo of a slim, attractive blonde woman standing next to a horse. By the photo's color and her haircut, it had to have been taken in the late 90s. There was also an advisory about feline spays and neuters, a timeline for vaccinations for your new kitten or puppy, and a printable 15% off coupon for your first visit to the clinic.

No dice there. Gunnar went to the usual social media sites and found nothing.

Liam had to have graduated from veterinary school and gotten certified, but each state had a different database. He tried a couple, but no luck. Who knew if he was even spelling Liam’s name right?

Gunnar needed more information. It would be best if he could get a look at the other man's license.

Gunnar set the laptop aside and drank more of the juice. He wanted to help, but he was treating the man like a suspect. The way normal people got to know each other was they talked. Gunnar reached into his pocket and took out the hospital business card were Liam had written down his cell phone number on the back. It couldn't hurt to check on how Puff was doing. And to apologize.

Really, Gunnar just wanted an excuse to talk with the omega.

Gunnar dialed the number. After three rings, it picked up, and Liam said, "Hello?" He sounded tense.

"It's Gunnar, Puff and Olivia’s dad."

"Gunnar!" Liam laughed nervously. "Right. I did give you my number. Puff is doing great! He ate, he used the litter box, and he keeps reaching out through the bars of his kennel. I think he wants to play with Ronald. That's my rat. Puff’s still sneezing though, and I have to keep him separated from Ferrous. But I've been in and out checking in on him, and I think he will definitely be ready to go home tomorrow afternoon."

Gunnar smiled, "That's great." In the background, it sounded like the television was on and someone was singing. "What are you watching?"

"Oh, I like the singing competitions. There's one young woman this season who is phenomenal. Her name is Imani. I'm rooting for her."

"What channel?"

"Nine."

Gunnar grabbed the remote and turned on the television, keeping the volume low. Olivia slept like a rock, one of her many fine qualities, but Gunnar didn't want to take any chances. Just listening to Liam's voice reminded Gunnar of the omega’s scent, and in spite of himself, Gunnar's cock was swelling enough to send a low tingle of pleasure through his body.

A slight, African-American woman belted out a country song in a pure, riveting soprano. Below her name was a caption: Philadelphia, PA.

"She's good," Gunnar said. "She from your hometown?"

Liam was quiet for a touch too long. Finally, he said, "I just like her voice. And she has her whole karaoke fan club with her. She seems down to earth, that's all."

"Do you do karaoke?"

Liam laughed. "I sound like a dying frog."

"Me too. Adam asked me to do a duet with him once, and I warned him, but…" Gunnar was surprised, but the memory didn't gut him like he'd expected. It hurt, but he remembered the joy of that night too. Adam had been pale with curly dark hair and light green eyes that sometimes drifted to hazel. He'd never been able to hide his blushes, and when Gunnar had croaked out the first verse of Islands in the Stream, Adam's face had been so red he almost looked sunburned. The night had ended with sweet, slow sex on the roof of the building where Adam had shared an apartment with two other architecture students.

"It must be hard," Liam said. "I know nothing I say can be helping. Maybe I should let you go."

"No! I mean, I like talking to you. It's all shop talk at work, and at home, Olivia's great, really mature for her age, but it's good to talk to an adult." Way to make the guy feel special, Gunnar. You're more interesting than an eight-year-old and corpses. Best to change the subject. Gunnar asked, "What made you decide to become a vet?"

"I was fat when I was little, and the other boys would tease me and beat me up. I think I’ve always got along better with animals. I rescued my first dog when I was six. He was a puppy who had gotten loose from the neighbor's barn, and he got himself tangled up in our fencing. I named him Roger, after Mr. Rodgers neighborhood. I know it's stupid."

Gunnar could imagine Liam, pudgy with flyaway blond hair, comforting the terrified puppy as he carefully untangled the wire and pulled it free. "Roger, I like it. Solid name."

"He was a golden retriever. Lucky is half Golden and the other half Pit."

Gunnar had seen the scars on the dog’s fur, and the gash over the healed depression of lightly furred skin that covered his missing eye. "Did they make him fight?"

"Yeah. The leader of that ring got eight months in jail. Not enough. The rescue named him Lucky because he was lucky to be alive. Who knows how many others before him weren't lucky enough? It pisses me off."

"I understand." Sometimes, there just wasn’t any justice.

"You're a detective, right?"

"Homicide."

"That has to be hard."

"The hard part is living on after someone you love dies. At least I can do something for the families. It's never enough though."

"I bet you're very good at your job."

"I just try to listen."

Imani had finished her song, and now a heavyset man with a thick brown beard and a guitar was on the stage.

Gunnar said, "I meant what I said before. I'm surprised you're not seeing anybody."

"I just got out of a bad relationship. It's one of the reasons I moved."

"That must've been pretty bad."

"It was worse after it was over. I ended it. I think he thought if he just kept trying, he could get me back."

"You told him to get lost, and he wouldn't leave you alone?" Gunnar was furious. "That is a crime."

"Not an important one," Liam said, his tone flat.

Gunnar was reminded of the dead prostitute this morning. Had someone been stalking him? Had he gone to the system for help and been ignored? Gunnar clenched the phone tightly, too tightly. "That never should have happened. What’s his full name and the last address you remember? I’ll find this guy and make sure he never—.”

“No.”

“A simple background check and I’ll have the--.”

“I don’t want you to do a background check. Please, promise me. It’s in the past, and I want to leave it there.”

Gunnar didn’t like it, but he had to respect Liam’s wishes. Otherwise, he was no better than the asshole who had been stalking him.

“Fine. No background check,” Gunnar agreed. “If you find yourself in any situation like that again, you have my number. You call me." If anyone so much as laid a hand on Liam, Gunnar would beat that person until his fists bled.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine." Gunnar forced himself to take a breath and another sip of the apple juice. "You deserve better than someone like that."

"You don't even know me. How can you say that?"

"You didn't have to take my kitten overnight to your house. I bet you most vets would've sent me home with instructions and the phone number for the nearest ER if there were problems. And Olivia thinks the world of you. She's a good judge of character."

"I guess the one good thing is that we didn't have kids. I mean, I want kids. I love kids! But Damon wanted to wait for marriage for knotting and kids."

"How long were you together?" Gunnar blurted out. He couldn't imagine not wanting to have his hands, lips, and tongue on every part of Liam’s skin before giving Liam his knot. His cock once again began to swell.

"Almost six months. Damon wouldn't even come near me when I told him I was going into heat. I should've known something was off then. But I thought it was just me."

"There's nothing wrong with you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Any sane alpha would want to knot you until you screamed his name." Had Gunnar just said that out loud? "I mean if they were…"

"Any sane omega would want to be knotted by you. I'm sorry. This is unprofessional."

"Neither of us are on the clock. If we were, I couldn’t tell you the thoughts I was having about you now."

"What thoughts?"

Should he tell Liam more? If he’d misjudged the omega’s attraction, this would be the end of their friendship, and Gunnar might need to find a new vet. But he didn’t think he was wrong. Liam would have hung up after ‘knot you until you scream my name’ if he wasn’t interested.

But Gunnar couldn't do this in his living room. If he had kept the bed he and Adam had shared, he wouldn't have been able to do this at all. But his husband's ghost was faded tonight, and if Gunnar rejected Liam now, he knew he would be adding another deep cut to an already open wound.

How had any alpha rejected this omega? Gunnar said, "I don't think the rest of this conversation is something I want to have in my living room."

"I'm on the sofa now. Ferrous is on the cushion next to me, and Lucky is by the door. I'm sorry, you don't want to hear all this."

"I do. I think it's wonderful how much you love animals."

"Damon didn't get it. He thought it was nice, but more like a hobby."

"Damon was a moron. I hope I never meet him." Gunnar dumped the rest of the apple juice into the sink, turned off the TV and the lights, and made his way down the hallway to his bedroom, keeping his voice low as the conversation got steadily more heated.

"I'm in my bedroom now. I'm umm... hard. How did you want me?"

Naked, sweating, and coming against my chest.

For a moment, Gunnar felt guilty at how quickly and easily he was responding to this fantasy. Adam had been two years older than Gunnar, and he'd always known exactly what he wanted and gone for it. Liam was more of a mystery. A layer cake to be savored bite by bite, or a gift to pull the wrapping paper from slowly to reveal the treasure inside. It was new, exciting, and very precious.

If Gunnar focused on making Liam happy, it would be less of a betrayal and more… something else. He didn't know, but he wanted to find out.

"Lay down on the bed and spread your legs. Are you still wearing your underwear?"

"Yeah." There was a sound of rustling fabric and the creak of the box spring. "Should I take them off?"

"Not yet. I want you to feel yourself through them. Tell me how your cock feels."

Gunnar’s cock felt too tight, too constrained in his jeans. He held the phone to his ear and unbuttoned them.

"It um...,” Liam said. “Hard and a little damp. At the tip."

"I like that. If I was there, I'd suck on it through your underwear until it was really wet."

Liam's breath hitched.

It was a small sound, but the reaction, and causing it made Gunnar's desire burn hotter. "You like that, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"I want to kiss you. Can I do that?"

"Yes. Yes, I'd like that."

"It'll be soft at first. I'm going to straddle you, and you'll feel my cock through your underwear. I'm so hard. But I'm patient. I want you to beg for my knot."

"I've um... never knotted with an alpha before. I mean, I've had sex, just not done it all the way."

If Gunnar thought he had been turned on before, it was nothing compared to now. He kicked his pants off and cupped his cock tightly through his briefs. "Then I'm going to be your first." Was that promising too much? No, this was a fantasy. A fantasy they were sharing. He didn't even know really if Liam was telling the truth. How could he have lived this long and never experienced an alpha's knot? Even if it was only a fantasy, Gunnar had to make this good for Liam. "I'm going to kiss you. Softly at first--."

"Don't."

What had he done wrong? "Don't kiss you?"

"Not soft. I'm not a flower. Kiss me hard. Like you mean it."

"God, I want you." Gunnar took a breath. "I'm going to kiss you, and I want you to open your lips because I want to feel your tongue against mine."

"Mmmm."

"Are you touching your cock?"

"Mmmhmmm."

"I'm grinding against you. Can you feel that?"

"Feels good."

"Pinch your nipple. The right one."

Liam moaned.

Gunnar slid his hand inside his underwear and took his cock in his hand. It was thick and slick with his juices."

"Can I touch you?" Liam asked.

"You can do whatever you want."

"I want to… I want to pull you closer. So that you’re on top of me. And I want to take this underwear off. I want to feel you against me."

"Do it. Touch yourself the way you want me to feel against you."

Gunnar stroked his cock, slowly from the base to the head, and then down, running his hand over his balls as almost painful arousal simmered. He imagined his and Liam's fingers intertwined. Gunnar took one of his pillows and pushed it between his legs, then taking his hand off his cock, he laid down on top of it and rubbed his cock against it. He moaned, feeling dirty but so turned on. "Spread your legs," Gunnar ordered. "Do you have lube?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Get it. Put it on your fingers and open your legs wide. Knees bent. I want to see you."

"Uh...okay."

"Is this alright?" Gunnar didn't want to push the omega too far. Liam had already had a lousy alpha. "I want this to be good for you. I want to see you come, but only if you want to."

"I want to. I'm getting the lube."

Movement, the sound of the drawer opening, and something fell. "Crap! I'm sorry. I dropped it. I got it."

"It's fine."

"I've never done this before."

"Me neither. Not over the phone." Gunnar and Adam had met in a bar and ended up leaving together. Later, when they had been together long enough to admit they were together, there had been texting. And photos. But Adam hadn't liked wasting too much time on the phone, and they'd moved in together so quickly, phone sex hadn't made sense. He had to stop thinking about Adam. Liam didn't deserve to share his bed with a ghost. Even if they weren't technically sharing a bed. Gunnar said, "This isn't why I called you. I mean, it's nice, better than nice, but…"

"I'm glad you called. I thought about calling earlier, but I know you have your own life. And you're a client."

"I didn't even know the sexy doctor was on my list of fantasies."

"Sexy,” Liam laughed. “It’s hard for me to see that sometimes.”

“I know you wear glasses, but you can’t be that blind.”

“I um... used to be heavier."

"Don't care. Do you have the lube?"

"Yes."

"Good. I want you to put some on your fingers and some on your hole. Can you do that?"

"Yeah. Hold on, I need to move the phone."

"Take your time. Open yourself up and make yourself feel good like you would want me to do it. But don't touch your cock. Not yet."

Over the phone, Liam's breathing grew heavier, and he groaned. "Please, please."

Gunnar smiled. He was stroking himself faster now, imagining Liam pushing his fingers in and out of his hole. He wanted his cock inside. He wanted to hear Liam come. "What do you need, baby?"

"I can't get my finger in deep enough. I want to come. I need to come. Please."

"Yes, baby. Anything you want. I'm going to take your cock now. Will you help me? Touch yourself."

“Yes!”

The noises he made were incredible. Gunnar stroked his cock faster and faster. Pre-come coated his fingers as he moved closer and closer to the edge. Gunnar gritted his teeth, turning his head into his elbow. Olivia was sleeping. He and Adam had had sex before without waking her. But this felt different. A part of him still felt like he was cheating. And yet, as Liam's moans and incoherent words grew louder and louder, Gunnar wanted to feel Liam for real. Taste his sweat, sink his teeth into the omega's shoulder and mark him. It was primal, the sort of possession that came over him only when he was knotting an omega in heat.

"I want to come. Please. I want to come."

Was Liam holding himself back? Waiting for Gunnar's word? As the orgasm broke over him, Gunnar said, "Yes! Now."

Liam let out a long moan that almost sounded like a sob as hot come hit Gunnar's belly, and all he could do was breathe as the pleasure washed over him, leaving him feeling scrubbed clean and still.

When Gunnar could talk again, he said, "That was incredible. You're incredible."

"You're incredible. I…ummm... wow."

"Yeah. I wish you were here. If you were here, I'd hold you, and I wouldn't let you go."

Liam was quiet. A long silence stretched between them.

"Liam?"

"Lucky is scratching at the door. And I really should check on Puff again. Thank you. I really… I have to go."

Something had gone wrong. Before Gunnar could ask, Liam said, "I'll see you tomorrow. At the hospital.

There was a beep, and then silence.

What had happened?

Come and sweat cooled sticky on his skin. Maybe it had all just been too much. Gunnar should have known better. But Liam had enjoyed it. He'd come hard. Just like Gunnar.

It was only after when Gunnar had said he wanted to hold Liam that the omega had freaked out.

I wouldn't let you go.

Gunnar wanted to smack himself. From everything Liam had revealed about his ex-boyfriend, it was likely that Liam’s ex-boyfriend was a stalker. Gunnar should have known better than to make promises of undying devotion. Especially considering only 412 days after Adam's death, he was already leaving his husband behind.

Maybe it was better this way. Gunnar wasn't looking for an omega. And Liam, beautiful Liam, deserved better than a broken down alpha whose jealousy had driven his husband into a fury which had ultimately led to the man's death.

Still, Gunnar couldn't erase the memory of Liam's voice as he came.

It was wrong. And stupid. But Gunnar wanted more.

Hopefully, he hadn’t ruined it completely.