White roses. Liam wanted to take the vase and throw it out the door into the middle of the street and let the cars and trucks grind the glass and roses into dust. The smell settled in the back of his throat, and his vision blurred.

Hold it together. You have to hold together.

The detective, Gunnar, had seen. What did he think? Probably that Liam was a young, flighty omega with an irrational fear of flowers. Or maybe Gunnar hadn't seen. Maybe that bone-cold moment of sheer horror that had passed over Liam when he first saw the flowers hadn't registered on his face. Hopefully not. Damon’s dad had been a cop. Even on the other side of the country, the brotherhood in blue stuck together. Better if Gunnar hadn’t seen. It would be awkward and embarrassing at best.

"Pam, can you put these flowers on the table next to the fish tank?" Liam asked. He couldn’t touch them. Just their scent made him feel nauseous. Hopefully, they’d finish their slow death quickly, and he’d be able to put them out with Monday’s garbage.

Bad enough he would have to pass them to leave tonight, or to talk to waiting room clients, or when he came in tomorrow morning, but at least he could put some distance between himself and the flowers. Just as he had left Damon on the East Coast.

"They really are beautiful," his last client, Mrs. Geraldine (she insisted Liam call her by her given name) said from behind him. “I used to grow roses. Before Albert died and I had to move to the senior living community.”

The flowers had really done a number on him. Liam hadn't even remembered she was there.

Mrs. Geraldine said, “I love flowers. White roses are a symbol of purity and spirituality. But once upon a time, they were also the flower of true love."

So pure. So beautiful. Do you believe in true love?

Liam closed his eyes. Acid rose to the back of his throat as his stomach churned. "I’ve heard that," he said. A sudden spark of inspiration hit him. He turned to her with a smile and asked, "Did you want to take them with you? It's probably better not to have them here with the animals."

“Oh no! I couldn’t!” Mrs. Geraldine said, but she slid deftly around him and took the vase in both hands. "Not if you wanted them."

"Since they make you so happy, I want you to have them. Please." Please.

"You're too kind, Dr. Chandler."

It was odd how easily his own selfishness masqueraded as kindness. His parents had called him tenderhearted when he brought home strays, but actually, most of the time, he found the quiet acceptance and unconditional love of his animal companions to be more rewarding than his human to human friendships. Maybe because they didn’t judge him. Maybe because they only expected him to be himself.

The door to the back treatment room opened, and Carolyn came through carrying Puff in a towel. The kitten had gotten livelier as the day progressed, and Liam was confident he would do well, especially with another night of hand feeding.

Gunnar and his daughter could probably manage that on their own, but Liam wanted to be sure. He'd hate to have Puff take a turn for the worse overnight and have to go to an emergency clinic. Also, if going the extra mile in care put Liam on better terms with the police detective, it wouldn't be a bad thing.

"Are you doing all right, doctor?" Carolyn asked. "This is your last appointment."

Liam looked at the time. It was a 6:45. How had the day flown by so quickly? "Wasn't Detective Justice scheduled for 5:30?"

"He said he'd wait, considering how generous you’ve been to take on his daughter as a special guest."

"It's really fine. I meant it." Liam hoped one day he'd have a kid like Olivia. All he needed was a nice man to settle down with. The chances of a beta getting him pregnant were pretty slim though, so they would have to adopt. Liam didn't mind that. The most important thing for a family was love, not blood.

When they went into the room, Carolyn put Puff on the table. The kitten immediately stood up and batted his paw at the reflection of something on the glass pane covering it. Though Carolyn had wiped the little kitten's eyes a number of times through the day, they were still goopy.

Puff sneezed.

"He really is looking better," Gunnar said. "I can't thank you enough for everything you've done."

In the small exam room, with the door shut, the alpha's scent was stronger. He smelled of pine and sandalwood, and a burst of happiness fluttered through Liam's chest at the compliment. Something about Gunnar made Liam feel safe.

That was dangerous. But Liam could handle it. He couldn't keep living his life as a reaction to what Damon had done to him. Like with the stupid flowers. Liam was tired of being scared all the time. It was like he hadn’t really escaped. He'd just taken the ghost of Damon with him when he’d uprooted himself and moved to the opposite side of the country.

No more.

Liam said, "I'd really prefer to keep Puff overnight, just to keep an eye on him."

"I thought you didn't do hospitalization here overnight," Gunnar said.

"We don't, but I can take them home with me. I have a spare kennel, and I'll be able to check on him."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to." Did he sound too intense? He didn’t want the alpha to get ideas. I mean, a part of him did want Gunnar to get ideas, but Liam knew better than to listen to that part.

With Olivia’s help, Liam walked Gunnar through the procedure to hand feed Puff. “He’s going to need it every few hours overnight and into tomorrow. And monitoring.”

"That sounds like a lot of work. Are you sure you don't want me to take him to an overnight clinic?"

"You can, but it will be more expensive, and they may want to repeat some of the tests we've done. I'm happy to take Puff overnight, and I don't have any plans tonight." Or any night. " It isn't any real trouble. You can pick him up at the end of the day tomorrow."

Olivia looked up at her dad, her eyes wide. "Can I visit tomorrow afternoon? With grandma? Please?"

Gunnar gave Liam a helpless glance, and then, his voice hardening, said, "This is Dr. Chandler's place of business. It's not an afterschool program."

Olivia blinked, her eyes shining. She looked down at the floor. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"I can make an exception for you to visit tomorrow, if your grandmother and dad are agreeable, after surgeries."

"I need to speak with Dr. Chandler, alone," Gunnar said.

Why did Liam suddenly feel like he was the one in trouble?

They went together down the hallway to the open space between the treatment room and the exam rooms. "I'm so sorry about this," Gunnar said. "I know she put you on the spot, and that wasn't good. You've really gone above and beyond with Olivia and me. If you don't want an eight-year-old underfoot tomorrow, I understand. I'll let her know it isn't going to work out."

"It really is fine," Liam said. "I've always wanted kids, and since I'm going to have to adopt, this is good practice."

"You can't have children?" Gunnar shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business."

"I can. I just don't see that working out for me." Now Liam was over-sharing. The alpha’s scent and his genuine interest were buffeting Liam's well-crafted barriers. "You're a good father. And it's clear the two of you are close."

"You think so?" Gunnar's fingers drifted toward his wedding ring. "Adam was always better at this. Most of the time, I just feel lost."

"I'm lost all the time. I just moved to Liberty a couple of months ago, and everything is different."

"Where are you from?"

"East Coast," Liam said vaguely. "I just wanted a change." He really hadn't, but lying about his pathetic life was easier than telling the truth.

"East Coast?" Gunnar's gaze was a little too sharp for his casual tone. "That's a big change."

Liam shrugged. “So you’re okay with me keeping Puff overnight?”

"You have my number in case you need to call?"

"It's in your file. I'll take it with me. I'm not far from here, and the weather is comfortable, so you don't have to worry about the walk – –."

"You're walking? I can give you a ride."

"It's barely ten minutes. It will be hard to get Lucky to settle down in the car. He was antsy all the way here. I usually just keep the station wagon parked on the street now, except when I need to get groceries. I was glad Liberty was more of a walking city than some of the others on the West Coast."

"Still, I'd rather see you safely home."

A tingle of happiness passed through Liam. That was something alphas said in movies, not real life. Certainly not in his life. Liam knew better than to read into it, and he didn't want it to mean anything, but the alpha's words still warmed him. "Thanks," he said.

“It’s the least I can do,” Gunnar said.

Gunnar and Olivia stuck around until the office was clean, and everything was put away in anticipation of the next morning. Better to have things in their place and ready to go. Liam put Lucky on his leash, and after placing the box with the day’s blood and tissue samples on the ground in the open space between the inside door in the outside gate, Liam locked the gate, and they all walked together to Gunnar's car. It was a minivan, and with only father and daughter inside, it felt a little empty. Gunnar and his husband had likely planned for more children.

Those plans had obviously fallen through. Liam felt sad for Gunnar. He was a nice man, and he deserved the family he’d clearly planned for.

Olivia and Puff got in on the middle seats behind the driver and passenger. "Come here, Lucky," Olivia said, and Lucky strained against his leash to get inside. Olivia held out her hand and said, "I can hold him."

"He gets antsy in cars," Liam said, though Lucky seemed bent on proving Liam a liar as he lay down on the floor at Olivia's feet, his mouth open and tongue lolling.

"I can do it," Olivia said. She had Puff in his carrier on the seats to her right with the opening facing her. Puff stuck out a paw through the square grating, and Olivia laughed.

Liam handed Olivia the leash. "Just until I get inside and buckled in," he said. He slid the back door shut and then opened up the passenger side and climbed inside. Gunnar was already in the driver seat. He gave Liam a devastating grin and said, "Seatbelts on, everyone!"

From the back, Olivia groaned, "I know, Dad."

Gunnar gave Liam a long look that made his skin feel warm, "I won't turn on the car until everybody is buckled up."

"I think I'm the weakest link here, Olivia," Liam said, averting his gaze to quickly put on his seatbelt. Normally, he would be terrified about guiding an alpha to his home. But he felt safe with Gunnar, and Olivia was so happy and well-adjusted, Gunnar couldn't be a bad person.

Gunnar drove the car out of the parking space and onto the street. "Which way?" he asked.

Liam gave Gunnar the directions, and they were on their way.

As they drove, Lucky began to whine.

Liam twisted around to look into the back of the van and held his hand out. "You'd better give the leash to me," he said. "Soon Lucky's going to start squirming and clawing at your carpets,” he said. "You can let us out here if you want to."

"It'll be fine," Gunnar said. "He must've been awful on the plane."

"No, we drove."

"All the way across the country?"

"It wasn't that bad. We made lots of pit stops and spent nights in motels." When Liam could find the ones that allowed animals. Or at least didn’t pay attention to a customer sneaking his pets in through the first-floor window. Sometimes they slept by the side of the road in the car. But he’d had the job, and with his student debt, Liam hadn’t had enough saved up to be able to afford nice hotels, to ship his life cross country, or to buy everything again when he arrived in his new home.

Besides, skipping town in your station wagon was much harder to track than putting your own name on a plane ticket. And getting on a bus with all of his animals was even less feasible. He’d been lucky the car ride had gone so well.

“That’s it,” Liam pointed ahead half a block at a series of split-level row homes. His apartment was on the second floor. He felt safer knowing an intruder had only one way to enter or leave unless they put a ladder up to his window.

Gunnar pulled up into an empty parking space about fifteen feet from Liam’s front door.

“Puff, we’re here,” Olivia said from the back seat. She leaned her face to the door of the cat carrier and added. “You’re going home with Dr. Chandler tonight, but you’ll be back with me tomorrow. In my room. When you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks for the ride,” Liam said, feeling suddenly awkward. A part of him, the same part that had panicked at the sight of flowers, didn’t want to leave the safety of Gunnar’s minivan. He liked how Gunnar’s scent permeated the air inside. He liked how the alpha was focusing on Liam now as though nothing else really mattered.

Liam's face heated. Was he blushing? Of course, he was blushing. It was embarrassing but only made his skin feel hotter. "I should go," Liam said.

"Wait." Gunnar took a breath and took his hands off the wheel. "Can you open up the glove compartment? There are a couple of pencils and a stack of Post-it notes."

Liam opened up the glove box. "I see them." He pulled out a pen and the Post-Its.

"Thanks," Gunnar said. "Can I have your number? I mean, in case I want to check. On Puff. No other reason."

"Of course not. I mean, of course, there's no other reason. Hold on, I’ll write it down for you." Liam's face was still hot as he wrote down the number of his burner phone in small, precise script. “Call me anytime. But I don’t text. I mean, it’s a flip phone.”

“Really?”

“I know. It’s just...ummm...I don’t want to get too caught up in social media.” Better to let Gunnar think Liam was taking a principled stand about social media rather than hiding from his crazy ex.

“Makes sense,” Gunnar said. “I’ll call you.” He averted his gaze again. “I mean, to check up on things. If that’s not a problem.”

“It’s no problem.”

What am I doing?

It was almost like he was flirting, and the alpha was flirting back. Liam had to end this now before things got out of hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

“You too, Dr. Chandler,” Olivia shouted cheerfully from the back.

Liam gratefully directed his attention to Olivia. Children were safe. Too-handsome alphas who ‘saw him safely to his door’ were another animal entirely. One his years of vet school and practice hadn’t prepared him for at all.

"Call me if you need anything," Gunnar said, holding out his hand. Liam took it. The heat of Gunnar's skin made Liam's breath catch as the alpha's scent seemed to grow stronger. He felt that tingling tickle inside. It was like he was in high school again being noticed by his first crush. The hair on his arms rose, and embarrassingly, his cock swelled. Liam pulled his hand away as Gunnar averted his gaze, his pupils were wide and dark. Liam ran his tongue over his lips. "I should go," he said.

Liam opened the minivan door and climbed out. He slid open the door to the back and reached inside for the carrier. Lucky jumped up and tried to push past him out the door, dragging Olivia behind him.

"Lucky," Liam ordered sharply. "Sit."

Lucky stopped in his tracks. He sat down on the floor of the car and gave out a low whine. Puff meowed pitifully and then coughed.

At least the animal’s antics had distracted Liam from his embarrassing reaction to shaking Gunnar's hand. "Olivia, can you hand me Lucky's leash?"

Upon hearing his name, the dog lifted both ears.

Olivia handed him the leash.

"Olivia, can you stay here in the car for a few minutes while I help Dr. Chandler to his apartment?"

"I'm really fine," Liam said. "It's just there and up to the second floor." The last thing he wanted was to bring the alpha home. When had he had his last heat? Two months ago? He was early yet for another one, and the suppressants made them milder anyway, but still, that might explain his reaction. Spending time around a genetically compatible alpha could also trigger heat, though that was rare.

Just his luck it was happening here.

“At least let me get you to your house,” Gunnar said. Before Liam could argue it further, Gunnar had opened the driver’s seat door and stepped outside. “It’s the least I can do considering everything you’re doing to help us.”

“Alright,” Liam agreed. The door was still in sight of the car. His hormones weren’t so far out of whack he’d lose control and throw himself at the father while the child was watching.

Liam handed Gunnar the cat carrier, and they fell into step as they walked to the side door to Liam’s second-floor apartment.

“I know I don’t know you very well,” Gunnar said, “and it’s not really my business, but if you get into any trouble, I just want you to know you can call me. I’m pretty good in a pinch, if it’s not a sick pet.”

Gunnar had seen, with the flowers, and he’d figured out something was up. For a second, Liam was disappointed. He’d had the momentary fantasy that maybe the alpha had felt the same shock of attraction when they’d touched, and maybe had wanted to walk with him so they could spend some time together. It had scared him, but he’d also wanted it. To feel attractive, and not to be scared of it. Of course, he was scared of it, which made the wanting and then the disappointment for not being wanted all the sharper.

“No trouble here. I’m a pretty dull guy,” Liam said, forcing a smile. “It’s mostly me and my critters and weeknight sitcoms,” he explained.

They stopped at Liam’s door.

“You’re not dull,” Gunnar said.

Liam just looked at him. His lips were so close. Worse, Liam wanted to bury his nose in the alpha’s neck and just let that scent fill him.

Gunnar said, “I mean, don’t sell yourself short.”

“I’m not.” The last thing Liam needed was a pep talk. What he needed was to get away from this alpha before he forgot why this attraction was a bad idea.

“If it wasn’t for Adam and Olivia...”

“Don’t put it on Olivia. She’s a great kid.”

“Most omegas aren’t looking to raise someone else’s kid.”

“I think you’re the one who’s selling me short.” Liam kicked himself. What was he saying? If he kept up like this, he’d be begging the alpha to ask him out on a date. Which was the last thing he needed.

Luckily, Gunnar seemed too wrapped up in himself to notice. “Adam never should have been out but... we were fighting. I shouldn’t have let--.” He shook his head. His left hand gripped the carrier handle tightly enough to see the skin go taut and white over his knuckles. “It doesn’t matter. My point is, no handsome, intelligent and single omega in his right mind would want to tie himself to someone like me. And even if he did, I wouldn’t let him.”

Liam wanted to reassure him. He wanted to put his arms around the alpha and let the man’s grief wash over them both until there was only salt and sweat and healing. But he couldn’t even heal himself, let alone anyone else. “I’m too much of a mess to tie myself to anyone,” Liam said.

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to say—.”

“I should probably take Puff upstairs and give him another feeding.” It was an excuse to run, but when things got difficult, that’s what Liam did. He’d run all the way across the country, and even now, he was still running. Running from confrontation. Running from his feelings. Just running.

Suddenly, he felt very tired.

“You're intelligent, handsome and kind,” Gunnar said.

Compliments. Compliments were worse than insults. Liam reached desperately for an excuse to end the conversation. “It’s not good to leave Puff in this carrier like this.” Liam slipped his key into the lock and turned it until it clicked open. Then he held out his hand. Gunnar handed him the carrier. Liam was careful not to touch the other man’s skin again.

Too dangerous.

If Liam’s heat were coming, then he’d take some extra suppressors and ride it out as usual. Either way, the best thing he could do was get away from Gunnar as quickly as possible.

“Call me if anything happens,” Gunnar said.

Liam nodded. “I’m planning for a peaceful night.” Before the Alpha could say anything else to put him further off balance, Liam said goodbye again and went into the house.

The door clicked shut behind him, locking automatically. For a moment, Liam just breathed. Was Gunnar still out there? He felt guilty, standing here, listening like an eavesdropper in his own house.

Lucky pulled at the leash toward the stairs. On the floor was the day’s mail. Most of it would be addressed to "Resident.” A few letters still came for Rhonda Davis, though she had moved out almost a year ago. Liam also noticed the glossy cover of the newsletter for the shelter he volunteered at a few times a month. That made him smile.

Liam let the leash go, and Lucky bounded up the stairs. He would wait at the door. Kneeling, Liam scooped up the mail and held it to his chest as he followed the dog to the second-floor door to his apartment. That one also had a lock and deadbolt, which made Liam feel just a touch more secure. Liam opened it and stepped inside his apartment. Ferrous meowed from the sofa at him as the fat cat stood and stretched.

Liam went through his usual ‘welcome home’ regimen. He called Lucky and took the leash and harness off of him, pet Ferrous until the loud rumble of his purr sounded through the entire living room, and checked the smaller pets in the cages. Bessie, the hamster, spent most of her time sleeping these days. Ronald, the rescued lab rat, was holding a piece of dried corn in his tiny rat hands.

Liam put Puff in his spare kennel and quickly mixed up another small meal. When the kitten was finished eating, Liam rubbed his head and body until the little guy curled up on his towel and purred himself to sleep.

After washing his hands, Liam went back to the living room to sort through the mail. His guts turned to ice as he flipped the third page of the shelter's newsletter and saw his own face. It was in three-quarter profile. He was holding a puppy and talking to a potential owner. Worse, a caption beneath read his name, Dr. Liam Chandler.

Liam had said no photos. Fury and fear warred inside of him. Clearly, someone had made a mistake and taken the photo accidentally. And worse, someone else had seen that photo and put him in the newsletter. But it was a small shelter, and just because he was in the print newsletter didn't mean he was online. One small printed newsletter which only went to volunteers and shelter donors wouldn't be distributed nationwide. Damon wouldn't see. Damon had probably moved on.

Damon ran his thumb over Liam’s pulse, his grip a touch too tight as he stared into Liam’s eyes.

“I will love you forever. Always. I'm never going to let you go.”

Liam shivered.

He’d call the shelter in the morning and ask them to take any pictures down if they were online. Beyond that, what could he do except hope for the best?

Liam sat down on the sofa and brought his knees up to his chest.

Gunnar’s words echoed in his mind. ‘Call me if anything happens.’

Of course, Gunnar had meant if anything happened with his kitten, not because Liam was having a panic attack thinking about his crazy ex. It was almost laughable, how Gunnar felt like his baggage would be too much for a potential omega. What was a dead husband compared to a living nightmare?

Ferrous bumped his head against Liam’s thigh and meowed. Liam started rubbing the cat’s head. Lucky had laid himself down in front of the door. He was asleep, snoring lightly, but Liam found the gesture comforting anyway.

Liam wasn’t alone. He’d get through this. He had managed so far. Still, he couldn’t help glancing at Gunnar’s file once more before he took the remote off of the living room table and turned the television on.