Selena
My father led me to the basement of the manor house and my skin prickled with the memories of the cells beneath the Helsings' castle. Thankfully, Brendan's laboratories were nothing like theirs. The single room was large and full of benches laden with bottles, petri dishes and all manor of scientific devices – none devised to torture a Vampire.
As Brendan led me to a huge, white fridge across the room, motion-sensored lights illuminated our way. Pulling the door open, he took out a small bottle of blood and carried it to a work bench.
“Here, come see.” He gestured for me to take a seat beside him and I did so, watching curiously as he lined up a slide beneath a microscope with a pin-prick of blood on it. When he was finished fiddling with the nobs and buttons, he moved aside, allowing me to look.
Pressing my eye to the lens, I gazed down at the magnified droplet. The blood cells were a dull, pink colour, floating through dark plasma as it oozed across the plate.
“That's Vampire blood,” my father explained. “Now keep an eye on it as I add a sample of my own blood to it.”
I bit my lip as I waited, a flutter of anticipation in my tummy.
As Brendan added his own sample, the blood turned bright red and the two liquids mixed and settled. The cells from his blood were bright and vividly red. But as the two types of cells bumped into each other, they latched on and, impossibly, started to merge.
“What's happening?” I asked, excited.
“This is what happens when a Vampire absorbs human blood. For a time, the cells merge and their bodies act human for a while. The more blood, the more human they become.” I felt his arm brush mine as he moved closer. “But our blood makes a much longer connection with Vampire blood cells than your standard human. We simply need to find a way to make this change...permanent.”
I looked up from the microscope, my mind exploding with questions. “But Varick doesn't become entirely human when he drinks from me.”
“No...but drinking is not the best way to er...transfer humanity.”
“What do you mean?” My brows descended.
Brendan ran his fingers through his neatly-styled hair. “Well, think of it like an inoculation.”
My eyes widened as I understood what he meant, thinking back to school when I'd received my BCG vaccination. “You mean it has to be injected?” I gasped.
Brendan smiled, his eyes bright. “Precisely.”
“But you said the cure doesn't work yet?”
Brendan nodded, looking solemn. “It is effective, but only temporarily. The longest we have recorded a Vampire walking in the sun is just twelve seconds. Plus...they tend to crash quite dramatically afterwards. That's why the Vampires still drink blood here. It is more predictable.”
“Oh,” I breathed. “But surely a permanent cure can be found?”
Brendan sighed, shaking his head. “Truly, I don't know. We've tried everything to lengthen the effects.”
I dropped my eyes to the petri dish, trying to come up with a solution. But if my father couldn't come up with one after all of his research, there was no chance I'd be able to pluck an answer out of thin air.
“If you're happy to, I'd like to try your blood? To see if it has any different impact than mine.”
I nodded quickly. “Of course. Though...perhaps Varick could try it first?”
Amusement passed through Brendan's eyes, but he only nodded. “Of course.”
My heart lifted as I realised Varick might actually be able to walk in the sun once more. Even if only for a very short time.
I checked a clock that was ticking quietly on the wall. It was nearly midnight. But perhaps... “Can we try it tomorrow morning? Before dawn?” I was off my seat in a flash, my heart quickening by the second.
Brendan let out a short laugh. “If you like. I'll send for Varick at 5am. I trust you'll have no trouble waking at that time?”
“None.” I beamed as I backed toward the door.
“Good. Meet me in the entrance hall.”
As I reached the staircase leading to the human-sanctioned area of the manor, the front door opened. My heart jolted at the sight of Varick with Jameson at his side.
A pretty girl with plum-coloured hair jumped off of the staircase to greet them. “I don't appreciate being left out of the loop,” she snipped at Jameson.
Varick's eyes were locked on me as he arced around the girl and joined my side. His hand gripped mine - hard.
I glanced at Jameson who gave me a casual smile.
“What's going on?” I asked, my instincts telling me something was wrong.
A gust of air announced the arrival of another Vampire and Darrell stepped purposefully through the door. He shot Varick a curious look before turning to Jameson and the girl. “Let me show you where you can sleep.”
“I'm not sure sleep is the answer right now,” Jameson said, folding his arms.
“Ulvic told me everything. I must talk with Brendan about this turn of events,” Darrell said firmly. “In the meantime, I need you to adhere to the nighttime rules and go to the east wing of the building.”
“Rules?” Jameson scoffed and Varick gave him a sharp nod to quell the argument rising in his friend's eyes.
“We'll talk in the morning,” Varick said firmly and Jameson's shoulders slumped in agreement. I didn't know him that well, but I was fairly sure Jameson wouldn't have taken orders so easily from anyone else.
“That includes you two,” Darrell said sternly, glancing between Varick and I before leading the others away down a corridor.
I glanced up at Varick, about to speak, but he pressed a finger to my lips and said, “Good night,” more loudly than was necessary.
A heartbeat later he threw me over his shoulder and darted out into the grounds of the manor.
Fresh air and the scent of junipers enveloped me.
When he planted me down, I found myself gazing up at the moon peeping through the clouds, the two of us bathed in a circle of silver light as it flowed through a hole in the roof above us.
“Varick! What the hell's going on?” I demanded, dizzy from the speed he'd travelled at. I gazed around, realising we must have been in the tower ruin I'd spied from my window. Crumbling stones sat around us, the floor thick with moss and little snowdrops poking up between the rubble. The place was breathtaking, the moonlight highlighting fluttering moths and other tiny, winged creatures floating through the air around us.
“There's been trouble on Ulvic's island,” Varick sighed, dispelling the enchantment of the place.
“Trouble?” I questioned anxiously.
He nodded, half his face cast in shadow, the other bathed in the pale light of the moon. “The Helsings turned up, killed most of the wolf pack and...” He sighed heavily, pain flaring in his deep green eyes. “They made Ulvic command Jameson to do it.”
My hand went to my mouth, shock juddering through my body. I shook my head in horror. “How could they?” I whispered, but I didn't expect an answer. Both of us knew what the Helsings were capable of. “How could Ulvic?”
“Because he's a damn selfish coward,” Varick snarled.
I dropped my eyes, a leaden weight hanging from my heart.
He cupped my cheek, his expression so sad that it made me tired. Tired to think of all that was to come. That this wasn't anywhere near over. And the illusion of being safe here had just been shattered like a brick through glass.
“How long?” I managed, my tone dark.
“I don't know. We can't be sure they'll find us.”
I nodded slowly, dropping my eyes to the mossy ground. Plant life was fighting its way into the ruined building; perhaps it had once been a church or a chapel, the shape of it seemed so. Could we rise like nature was able to? Reclaim what was ours? End the Helsings and still have a chance at happiness. At life?
My hand brushed Varick's chest and I felt his heartbeat, recalling what I'd talked about with my father. Even if he worked out the cure tomorrow, I didn't want Varick to turn human again until the Helsings were gone. He'd be too fragile. He could die. Even now, there was risk enough of that. And without him, I'd be lost.
“What do we do?” he asked me as if I could provide some solace, some answer. I leaned into him, trying not to let this knowledge wear me down, to hold on to hope.
“We fight,” I managed at last. Because of course that's what this always was going to come to. We couldn't have run, or hidden, no matter how appealing that may have seemed just minutes ago. Deep down, I'd known, it would inevitably come to this.
Varick didn't answer and I sensed the heated frustration growing between us. The argument. In a heartbeat, his mouth met mine and it all evaporated. I knew we were putting off the discussion, but in that moment I didn't care.
My breathing hitched as he walked me backwards, my spine brushing the cool stone of the towering wall. His kiss intensified until we were reduced to two souls, scratching at the physical walls between us just to be an inch closer.
The tension grew nearly unbearable until I had to face what was coming. Lines we hadn't crossed, but only now might we have time to cross them.
The air was heavy with unspoken words. Questions needing to be asked, but neither of us daring to voice them. The guessing was agony. Would we? Wouldn't we? Was I ready? Was this even possible? All of it condensed the moment into something dreamlike as his soul finally seemed to find its way to mine.
This was real and the decisions were mine to make. Decisions I'd never made before and could never be undone once they were voiced. Varick caged me in with his arms, his hooded eyes pinned on me, his muscles bunching through his shirt. I didn't know what I was doing. I'd only ever been this close to one man before and had murdered him before he could steal my innocence.
Now, I didn't feel like something was being stolen from me. I wasn't giving up anything. I was sharing what already belonged to Varick.
Desire blazed in his eyes, but he didn't touch me again. My lashes framed my vision as I gazed up at him, neither of us making a move.
The next touch would set off a chain reaction, like the wind brushing a line of dominoes. I was afraid to make it, but knew it had to come from me. Varick would need the reassurance, knowing what lived in my past. Understanding that this single act would incinerate what remained of my childhood. But I wasn't innocent anymore for so many reasons that it almost seemed ironic that I was still a virgin. After so much sin had been dealt at my hand.
My fingers trembled as I lifted them, reaching through the space between us, resting my palms against his chest. He was hot to touch even through his shirt, as human as I'd ever seen him. His heart beat hard and steady beneath my hand, confirming the Vampire part of him was nowhere to be seen tonight.
He inhaled a slow, controlled breath at my touch and I closed my eyes, feeling his heart quicken to match the rampant beat of my own. Words brushed my lips but I kept them back, knowing the second the silence was broken, this moment could vanish.
Tonight was all we had. Tomorrow could be our last day alive. So, for now, our hearts deserved to beat against each other's.
My fumbling fingers slid upwards and I undid the top button of his shirt. I bit my lip all the while, so hard I was sure I'd drawn blood. Between our heavy breaths and the movements of my hands, another sensation arose in me. A deep, primal squeeze in the pit of my belly. The butterflies awoke, too, until my whole stomach was alive with miniature wings.
Varick released a growl that set me shivering. I could sense he was going to ask me what I wanted. I could see the question blazing in his dark eyes. Perhaps he was as afraid of the answer as I was. But I still didn't want either of us to speak, certain the words would devour the intensity of the moment. So I gripped his collar, encouraging him toward me. He let me guide him. Close enough that his lips were millimetres from mine, his muscles flexing on either side of me as his arms went lax against the wall.
The scent of him washed over me; the intoxicating aroma of pure power. And yet still he resisted, not meeting my advances.
Fearful of losing my nerve, I gazed into his eyes, asking, offering, telling.
I want this before it's too late.
The tension in his arms melted and his mouth met mine. Every hard angle of his body seemed to soften to fit against me. My heart leapt into a rhythm I didn't know, every frantic thump promising me this was the right decision.
His kiss was filled with all the answers I could ever have needed. His hungry passion fed mine, near-paralysing me in his arms with how he possessed me. It was easy to let him take the lead. It made sense, too, seeing as I had no idea what I was doing. But it wasn't until his lips had met mine again that I'd entered an entirely unknown territory. One that told me I not only wanted this to happen for the sake of growing up, of offering all I could to the man I loved, or for doing all of those things before they were too late to be done, but because it was very possible I'd also enjoy every second of it, too.
Varick's mouth painted trails down my throat, his grip on my waist never faltering as he held me in place against the wall. My leaden arms were suddenly light as a feather. I wrapped them around his broad shoulders, bringing him closer until I was sure the tiny space between us only existed to allow me to continue breathing.
My fingers tangled in his hair as I drank in his kisses, each sending a rapid flight of goosebumps sweeping across my body. I was soon too dizzy to know up from down, left from right. His hold on my waist was so tight that I'd barely noticed he'd lifted me half a foot off the ground, my legs hanging around his hips with no effort at all on my part.
He carried me purposefully into the circle of light the moon was casting on the earthy ground and placed me on my feet. Gently, he pulled my top over my head, discarding it on the floor. I fell into unknown territory, my body beginning to tremble. After all the terrible things I'd lived through, why was this making my body quake? It wasn't fear exactly. More trepidation. The worry of doing something wrong, of spoiling this all with fumbling hands and uncertain movements. The shame of knowing Varick would sense my reaction right down to my unsteady heartbeat was nearly overwhelming.
He was unfaltering where I hesitated, fluid where I froze. But all the time our lips remained sealed, I didn't have to acknowledge that I was probably doing this all wrong.
When Varick released me, I became painfully aware that I was topless and he was still fully dressed. As he stood back, gazing at me with a heat that could have burned down a whole forest, my cheeks picked that moment to turn scarlet.
Words. The words were coming. The ones where he voiced his concerns. That I wasn't ready. That he didn't want to do this with me.
“Do you have any idea how much I feared this?” His voice was a sharp knife that cut the air to ribbons. I offered him a shake of my head, my cheeks still aflame as I tried to understand what he meant. He stalked forward, lowering his mouth to my ear, making me quiver. “I feared that I'd never want anything more than your blood. That it wouldn't be fair for this to happen if I wasn't entirely devoted to the moment.”
“And?” I asked, my throat barely releasing the word.
His hands rested on my hips, leaning back so his eyes bored into mine, unblinking. “And all those worries seem pointless now...” His thumb skated across my lower lip. “I may need blood to live, but I need you to breathe, to feel...to love.”
My trembling hands stilled. The heat bled from my cheeks and spread into the furthest regions of my body. Without him there was no future. The idea of losing him was no more bearable than the moon parting from the stars. And with that knowledge, this all became easy.
I moved into the arc of his arms, more confident now as I trailed my fingers down his half-open shirt, slipping the final buttons free from their holes. My eyes never left his and the desire to kiss him nearly overwhelmed me. But I wanted him to see me unafraid.
As I slid the shirt from his shoulders, I dropped my eyes to the ridged muscles of his chest, the shadowed crevice of his sternum meeting with the hardened ovals of his abs.
I let my fingers roam, wanting to memorise each line illuminated by the moon, a hunger growing inside me, ready to devour him.
Slowly. Memorise all of this. Just in case.
When I glanced up, his eyes were wanting, but not for blood.
I slid my palms over his marble-like body, reaching around his wide shoulders and tip-toeing up. He caught my chin, tilting my head back, his mouth a centimetre from my own as our bodies melded against one another.
“I'm starting to get the impression you like me.” His mouth hooked up at the corner, his sarcastic tone making me laugh and melting what remained of my fear. Before I could answer, he pinned me down, following me to the ground until I was layered between the soft moss and his firm body.
His hands hooked up my legs, tangling me around him. It wasn't long before I'd forgotten the ruin even existed, my whole world centering on us and nothing else. The tantalising feeling of skin against skin, the friction, the heat. All of it was more than I ever could have imagined it would be.
From the bittersweet pain to the impossible closeness I felt with him, there wasn't a moment I didn't love - not even the breathless mess I was reduced to under the weight of his unshakable perfection.
As the moon slipped out of sight and the space around us darkened, Varick pressed his forehead to mine, waiting for my lungs to stop labouring and my heart rate to settle. As I caught my breath, I let out a shaky, embarrassed laugh as he nuzzled into my neck. He was entirely unaffected, not a bead of sweat or a single ragged breath to be seen. Damn V.
“On a scale of one to human, how are you feeling right now?” I asked to divert the attention from me, wriggling out from beneath him. His arms caged me in as he rolled over, drawing me back against him, a roguish smile dancing around his lips. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“Not tempted for a snack?” I propped myself up on his chest with my elbows.
He eyed my neck with a widening grin. “If you're offering.”
I smacked him, ducking my head into his body to hide my embarrassment. His hands encased me, dragging me upwards so my mouth met his. His soft kiss made reality fade from view. Even the cold couldn't find me here. Varick had banished all of it.
When he released me, he was frowning, his fingers painting patterns on my skin. “Are you alright?”
I nodded once, not wanting to elaborate. I'd probably be amongst the last in my school year to lose my virginity. I'd heard the stories – some in way too much unwanted detail – and I'd known what to expect. But if anything, this was more perfect than I ever could have predicted.
Our time together had always felt like winter. Snow would fall and settle then thaw. Temporary, but while it lasted, it changed the look of the entire world. Now, it seemed the world was blossoming, offering us a spring to make up for the long winter we'd been served. But I knew there was one last thing we had to do before we could enjoy it.
Varick kissed the corner of my mouth. “Don't think about it. Not tonight.”
I nodded, curling into the crevice his arm made. “I don't want to go back to separate rooms.”
His mouth met my forehead. “Rules are rules.”
I knew he was teasing, but it still bothered me. We didn't exactly have the typical human to V relationship.
I thought of dawn, biting my lip, excited to offer Varick something he'd missed for his entire immortality. “If I go back to my room, will you meet me on the stairs at 5am?”
He lifted his head to get a better look at me. “Why?”
“It's a surprise.” I kissed him quickly, sucking my lower lip to hide my grin as I wriggled free of his hold. I hurriedly pulled on my clothes, unable to help feeling self-conscious, despite what we'd just done. When I was finished scrambling into my top and tugging on my jeans, I found Varick standing fully dressed, leaning against the ruin wall as if he'd never even gotten undressed.
I pouted my annoyance and he gave me that slanted grin of his. The one that had given me butterflies even back when I'd feared him.
My mouth was rubbed raw by his stubble and my hair looked as if a bird had made several attempts at building a nest in it. I patted it down as best I could, slipping on my shoes.
“This isn't going to go undetected,” Varick noted, eyeing me.
My cheeks flamed as I tried harder to flatten my hair.
He approached me in a flash, his lips meeting mine for half a second. “Thames might notice you sneaking in.”
I shrugged. “Why does it matter?”
His eyes dropped and a rare flash of vulnerability passed through his eyes. I touched his cheek, horrified at what his expression was implying. “I love you. If you think for a second I care what anyone thinks about this, you're wrong.”
“I'm a Vampire-” he started and I pressed my palm flat to his mouth, forcing him to stop.
“My Vampire.” I smiled and I felt his lips lift beneath my hand.
Slowly, I dropped my palm and he grabbed my waist, tugging me against him. “Well, when you put it like that...”
I giggled as he buried his head in my neck, pretending to bite me.
My laughter reached toward the sky and for a moment I hoped the whole world was listening, because all I wanted to do right then was scream to the moon how much I loved him. And how no one on Earth, Van Helsing or otherwise, was going to take him from me.