Selena
A loud knocking came at Brendan's office door. Before anyone could answer, Cass burst through it. Her eyes were wild as she strode into the room, holding a piece of paper in her hand. “Jameson's gone! He's taken Mercy.”
“What?” I blurted, stepping toward her.
“What do you mean he's taken her?” Brendan demanded.
Cass shook her head. “He was acting weird. I looked for him, but it was too late. He left this pinned to the basement door.”
She held out a note that read:
Helsings are gonna pay.
Don't let my record collection go to Ulvic.
- J
“Goddammit.” Varick snatched the note, crumpling it in his fist before speeding off into the manor. Cass called after him, “I've looked everywhere!”
“Not outside, though,” I breathed.
“Go!” Brendan barked, waving me ahead of him. I jogged then flat-out sprinted through the manor to the front door. I tugged it open, quickly stepping into the sunlight. The door slammed behind me as Brendan followed.
“Head to the dock!” Brendan panted, pointing toward the gate. I ran as fast as I had in the V Games, my lungs labouring as I dragged down air. The grass was beaded with dew, the air crisp and cool against my cheeks. I wrenched the perimeter gate open, charging down the wooden stairs toward the beach.
I already knew it was too late. I felt it in my bones. But where would Jameson take Mercy? Why wouldn't he tell us?
I outpaced Brendan, heading to a wooden boathouse and throwing the door open. Empty.
I turned, finding my father slowing to a halt next to me. He raised his brows, panting and clasping his side.
“He's gone, he's taken a boat,” he announced and my chest constricted. “What on earth does he think he's doing?”
I ran a hand through my hair, having no answer, terrified of what Jameson was planning.
I'd never seen Brendan look anything but calm, but he was certainly upset now. Angry. Furious, even.
“What do we do?” My shoulders slumped.
Brendan drew in a deep breath before saying, “There's nothing we can do.” He marched back up the beach and the sky seemed to fall. This was it. Whatever Jameson was planning was going to set off an avalanche. Danger was rushing toward us and I could barely draw breath as I realised what that meant. More pain. More loss. More death.
I followed Brendan back to the manor, where Varick and the others were gathered in the entrance hall. Kodiak sat beside Thames on the stairs. Cass hurried forward from where she'd been standing beside Kite and Nadine.
“Did you find him?” Nadine asked.
Brendan shook his head, coming to a halt before her. “He took a boat.”
“To where?” Varick snarled, looking willing to walk out into the direct sunlight if it would help find his friend.
“I don't know,” Brendan said softly. “We will have to wait-”
“Wait for what?” Varick barked. “For him to get himself killed?”
I moved to Varick's side, resting a hand on his arm, hoping to offer some comfort.
At that moment, the copper-haired Siren stepped through the front door, quickly shutting it behind him to block out the sunlight. I recognised him from dinner the previous night, his lace mask in place over his pale features. “Sorry to interrupt, Mr Grey.” He opened his palm and a broken padlock came into view. “The armoury has been broken into, a lot of weapons are missing.”
My gut constricted.
“Thank you, Ned,” Brendan muttered, scraping a hand through his hair.
“Guess he reckons he can take on the Helsings solo,” Kite said, smirking.
“Dammit Jameson,” Varick swore.
Nadine started crying, sinking down onto the bottom step of the stairs.
“Can't we go after him?” Cass suggested, looking anxious.
“We can't do anything until the damn sun sets.” Varick started pacing.
“Why would he do th-this?” Nadine sobbed.
I looked to Varick and his expression grew tortured. He halted, a dawning comprehension filling his eyes. “Because he's trying to save us.”
Brendan's gaze darkened. “Well then, I suggest we continue making a plan. Because if he fails, we'd better be ready.”
“Perhaps we should all go after the Helsings, attack in force?” Varick suggested, but Brendan shook his head.
“This place is a sanctuary for Immortals who have been hurt by Hunters...men. I will not ask them to fight, to risk their lives for something they have already escaped.” He remained quiet for a moment in thought. “I believe this can be handled stealthily. I have tickets to the game held in the Helsings' honour...so perhaps if we sent a small team there...”
My heart lifted in hope. “I want to go.” I gritted my teeth, hardly recognising my own blood lust. I wanted to see the looks on the Helsings' faces when they realised they were going to die.
Brendan hesitantly nodded. “It's a masked event, like all of them. If we disguised you well enough, no one would ever recognise you.” He glanced between the others. “Even Vampires so long as you had enough blood to sate you. And the event will no doubt be held in the arctic circle.”
“So women can attend this game?” Cass asked.
Brendan dipped his head. “Yes, it's not like the Helsings' games. Hunters will arrive with their partners and the spectators are permitted to bring one guest, male or female.”
“So we go in undercover...then blow the place to hell?” Kite asked, her eyes brightening.
“I will work out the details...” Brendan said uncertainly. “I have access to three tickets, that's all. So only six may go.” Brendan gazed around at us all and I wondered who would volunteer. And who would stay.
“If I may, sir?”
I turned at the voice, finding Ned had remained, lingering by the staircase. “I wish to put my name forward for this.”
Brendan raised his brows. “Of course, I understand.”
I frowned, curious as to what the Siren had against Hunters.
“I will give you some time to talk,” Brendan addressed the rest of us. “Perhaps you can decide between yourselves who will come.” He turned to me with a look of defeat. “If you want to be a part of it, I won't stop you. But I ask that you think about it seriously. Both of you.” He looked to Varick. “You can remain here indefinitely, be together, stay out of danger.” He glanced at the others. “That goes for all of you.”
He was right. The idea of every one of us throwing ourselves back into the lion's den seemed ludicrous. Some of us had to remain safe here after all we'd sacrificed to escape.
I settled on a stiff nod.
Brendan stepped closer, his brows drawing together. “I urge you to cling to this life while it's handed to you. Love doesn't often strike twice.” He sighed, heading in the direction of his office, and I wondered if he was referring to Mum. If he missed her, and believed their parting was final. Would she have taken him back now? Would he even let her into this world? I had no idea how she'd take it, all of this. Vampires, Werewolves, Immortals. And men who were bigger monsters than all of them.
“I'm going,” Cass said immediately and a tumult of arguing broke out.
“Me too,” Thames said.
“You don't even have legs!” Kite shook her head. “You can't go.”
“I've already saved my spot,” Ned said loudly, turning to leave.
“Who even are you?” Kite hissed.
“No one gets to save a spot,” Cass sighed.
“Only one of us has to stay and I'd rather not go anyway,” Kodiak said, but no one seemed to be listening to him.
Varick turned me to face him. “I don't want to lose you, Selena. And if you decide to keep out of this fight, I'll understand.”
It was so tempting that it nearly broke me apart. Standing before him, offering me a life, a choice, a future. We didn't have to fight. We didn't have to risk death, risk losing each other.
I hadn't considered staying out of this, not until Brendan had insisted I think about it. But the weight of this decision suddenly hit me like a tsunami. What if doing this meant I lost Varick?
I bowed my head, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to be a coward, but suddenly knowing how easy it would be to walk away, let someone else take the reins for once was nearly paralysing.
Varick pulled me into his chest so his scent rolled over me, consuming me. Was I willing to risk losing what we had for the sake of revenge?
“Come, we should talk.” He took my hand.
I let him lead me away from the argument growing between our friends, quiet and self-assured as he walked beside me, guiding me, keeping me grounded. I barely noticed where we were going until we arrived outside a bedroom in the Vampire quarters. We headed inside and he let go of my hand as he shut the door. The click of the lock sounded on for an eternity between us.
Us. This was all about us. About what we wanted for ourselves. It would all have to be spilled now, all our inner truths, everything we'd felt and not had time to say in the past. All the pain I'd been through, he'd been through.
I dropped down onto the edge of the single bed, my weight pressing into the mattress, surely more than it had been when I woke up this morning.
Varick was calm, quiet, his presence alone reminding me of the reassurance he'd provided me for the weeks I'd been captive to the Helsings. He'd been my light in all the darkness. And now I was lost in it, wholly, completely. So easy was it to stay this way. How could we choose a fight over this peace?
Varick stayed by the door, giving me space to breathe, to think outside of us.
He gave me an intense look. “I'll say this once, and only once. Because I know already that it's futile, but I'll ask it of you anyway, because if I don't try then I'll never forgive myself.” His brows knitted together. “Please don't get involved in this plan. Let me go. Alone.”
My body tensed all over, my heart beating so hard I was sure it must have sounded like a war drum in Varick's ears. “How can you ask that of me?” I snapped, part of me wanting to hit him for even voicing the words.
He approached me, his eyes full of pain. “Because I love you. More dearly than anything or anyone I have ever known. And losing you would be the end of me. The end of everything.”
My next words halted and died on my lips. “Don't you know I feel the same about you?”
He remained silent, his shoulders sagging.
“How can you think for a moment, I'd let you walk into that fight without me?” I asked.
He groaned and I knew he'd already accepted I was going to be a part of this. But he was making his feelings on the fact known.
“I had to ask,” he breathed.
Losing him wasn't an option either.
“Varick...” My insecurities rose in me like a dam breaking in my chest. “I know I'm human. I'm not as strong as you, but-”
“I don't believe that was ever true.”
Reflected in his eyes was the powerful image of myself that he saw. But it was wrong. So very wrong. “I grew up weak, abused. I let myself be hurt. I never fought back. But suddenly one act of strength made everyone look at me differently. Like I was someone tough, capable. But I'm not. I'm still that frightened girl being bullied by someone bigger than her. Only now I know the consequences of never fighting back.” I dropped my eyes to my knotted hands. “And it's not just about me anymore. It's about you...our friends. All the girls they're yet to take and force into their games. I don't know how much I can offer in a fight against the Helsings. But I can hold a gun and I can pull a damn trigger. And I will. I'll be there, at your side. And we'll do this together.”
Varick frowned, doubt in his eyes. “Selena, we've been together for such a brief amount of time. I took you from prison barely a month ago.” He took a heavy breath. “I am responsible for your involvement with the Helsings. When I first met you, my desires were their desires. I gave them what they asked of me. But a selfish part of me wanted more than that for the first time since they'd captured me. I wanted you. Your blood. I wanted you to play the game and win for me. I wanted the prize of feeding on you.”
His words were as sharp as a knife and I fought the urge to wince as I listened.
He moved closer, one slow step at a time. “I am in debt to you in so many ways. I owe you vengeance. I owe you penance.”
“No,” I breathed. “You've already given me those things.”
He sighed as his legs bumped mine and he knelt down before me; a priest before an alter. “It will not be enough until I take from them what they took from you. I have a need in me that will not be sated until it's done. More than blood, more than want, I must kill them for you.”
“Varick,” I gasped, placing a hand on his shoulder, his muscles flexing beneath my palm. “You don't owe me anything. Not now.”
He looked up and I fell into his deep green irises, so captivating that I could see nothing else. I let him go on, despite wanting to scream and fight and force him to believe that he didn't owe me anything anymore.
He took one of my hands, wrapping it in his. “I know that you will go if I go. So what am I to do?”
The question hurt. More than any question had ever hurt. Because it wasn't a question, it was an answer.
I brushed my fingers through the coarse stubble on his cheek. I shut my eyes to save myself from his probing gaze as I laid my heart on the line. “On Raskdød, I believed there was only death in my future. That my time was limited by the Helsings, one way or another. I didn't think I could win, and even if I did, deep down, I knew they'd want more from me. And they got it. They got their pound of flesh, their suffering for their entertainment. They had it all from me, live for the spectators. Twice,” I whispered the word. “But during all of it, they could never have predicted, I could never have predicted, that I'd find love. Find something worth facing death for every day. I went back to Raskdød after you saved me, for you. And I played the second game. All of it was for you. And I know that we're owed this life. We're owed happiness. But I think...maybe...” An earth-shattering sigh trembled through my body. “That it's worth risking us one more time. Because I think there's a reason we're so strong together. Because it makes us strong enough to defeat them. And if we refuse to fight now, the Helsings will win again. But together, I think we can end this. I think...I think we're the best chance of that.”
Varick rested his head against my knees and sighed heavily, “I think you're right.”
I slid my hand beneath his chin, finding his shirt collar and pulling to encourage him upwards. I gazed at him with my most resolute stare. “We will not die,” I enunciated every word, pouring all of my fury and devotion into them.
He nodded, his jaw tightening. The determination in his eyes was as fierce as my own. He didn't stop moving as he bore down on me, pressing me back until the decision wasn't on my mind anymore. It was made. Done. We'd go, we'd risk it all again.
But one last time, we'd love each other like no one could ever tear us apart.