Selena
When dusk eventually arrived, I headed back to the outhouse to meet Varick. The sky had cleared and the sunset bloomed on the horizon in coral pinks and deepest magenta. I wound through the trees, the light dimming and dimming until the sunlight extinguished entirely. I'd hated the night in the games, the endless darkness, the shadows. But now I savoured it; it was a gift, freeing Varick.
The breath was knocked from my lungs as something collided with me.
Varick pressed me back against an oak tree, steadying me by the waist. He grinned at my startled expression before pressing his mouth to mine. I knotted my hands into his hair, my heart floating upwards until I was sure it would escape my body.
“I missed you,” he growled and I bit my lip, my cheeks burning away the cold air.
“You saw me a few hours ago,” I teased, but in truth I'd missed him too.
He grinned wolfishly, taking my hand. “Come on. Best get you out of the cold, sweetheart.”
“I can't feel the cold right now,” I admitted, heady from his proximity.
“Either way, I need to talk to you.”
Voices caught my ear and I turned, finding Cass and Kodiak walking side by side, looking ethereal as they appeared to float across the snowy ground. “Like this,” Kodiak was saying, taking hold of her chin and gazing into her eyes.
I slid out of Varick's hold, frowning as I watched them. “What are you doing?”
Cass glanced at me. “Kodiak's teaching me how to Charm people.”
I smiled, moving closer. “Try it on me.”
Varick muttered his discontent, but I ignored him, stepping closer to Cass.
She bit her lip, looking uncertain. “I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do...”
“Selena's immune to it,” Varick supplied. “But she can let you in...”
Cass looked between us, raising a brow. “Alright.” Her eyes met mine and I was struck by their sparkling green. Lighter than Varick's, like emeralds or fresh cut grass.
As she gazed at me, I felt her will press up against mine. But it was fleeting as I easily forced it away. Cass gasped, looking to Kodiak.
“Again,” he encouraged and the shadow of Varick fell over him. A warning.
I reached out an arm, holding him back as Cass tried once more.
I let her in this time and my arms fell limp as she took up my entire world. The forest dimmed around me until all that existed was her shining crimson hair and glittering eyes. “Tell me your first memory of me.”
“First memory...” I echoed, my mind seeming to split apart, a light shining on the memory she wanted and meeting with my lips. “I was scared...pretending not to be. Pretending to be the killer you thought I was. And you...were so strong. I wanted you as an ally, but not a friend. I didn't want any friends-” Varick muscled Cass aside, his eyes meeting mine, blazing so bright I fell into them instantly, my barriers already down.
“Enough,” he growled, but Cass's question was still in my head, forcing me to answer it, but now in relation to him.
“You terrified me. I knew you wanted to hurt me.”
Varick flinched away from my words and Cass's presence lifted from my mind. I sucked in the cold air, blinking as my self-awareness rushed to meet me. “Varick,” I gasped, reaching for him, but he was already walking away, his lasting expression full of regret. I moved to follow, but he was gone, disappearing as if the shadows between the trees had swallowed him whole.
“Selena – I'm sorry!” Cass called as I darted after him, unsure which way to go, but desperate to make things right.
My boots pounded against the frozen ground, the snow sparse beneath the heavy tree canopy. My eyes strained to adjust to the darkness. I'd been living in it for so long that I was better adapted than I'd once been. The ground rose beneath my feet and the trees thinned, the carpet of snow bright enough to guide my way forward. The wind picked up, tugging me forward and I followed it toward a low, craggy cliff. At the top of a precarious path was Varick, perched on the edge of the cliff, his legs dangling over the sea below.
I sighed, picking my way across the sloping rocks, using my hands to assist me as the hill grew steeper. He was like a statue, unmoving as I made the difficult climb toward him. When I arrived, I was breathless and boiling hot, unbuttoning my coat to let in the sea air.
“Stubborn, aren't you?” he mused as I halted behind him.
“Stubbornness will get a person through any journey,” I panted.
“It certainly gets you a lot of places. Mainly into trouble.” He glanced over his shoulder as I tiptoed forward, glancing toward the frothing sea below.
Varick held out a hand and I took it, letting him guide me into the safety of his arms as I dropped down beside him.
I took a deep breath. “I'm sorry-”
“Don't,” he snarled, making my heartbeat accelerate. He ran his fingers over my palms, exploring every line as I waited for him to speak. “Selena, I know you accept me as I am, but I will always be responsible for putting you in the games. If I had only defied the Helsings sooner...” He sighed heavily and I slid my fingers between his.
“If you hadn't taken me to Raskdød, I'd still be in prison. I'd still be...” Weak.
“What?” he pressed, but I shook my head.
“We're here, alive. Free.” I gestured to the sea and the dark sky that threatened more snow. “And yes, you frightened me once. But I didn't know you. The real you.”
Varick hung his head. “That is who I am. I spent nearly two hundred years obeying the Helsings, watching girls die. And I did nothing.”
“Because they would have killed you.”
“And maybe they should have!” He rounded on me, his eyes flaring, his expression so fierce I would have been scared if I didn't know his anger was borne from pain.
A knife twisted in my heart as I gazed at him, horrified at the idea of his death. I cupped his cheek, shaking my head. “We're both here because we survived what they did to us. They're the enemy. Our hands may have done terrible things, but it was their hearts that wanted it.”
He gazed out at the sea, his expression dark, but his fingers never parted with mine, so I hoped I was getting through to him.
After a while, he said in a low tone, “Do you want to know what I thought when I first met you?”
“Tasty snack?” I guessed, nudging him and he gave me a dark grin.
“Apart from that.”
“What?” I leant into him, his skin cool, but his touch somehow warming me down to my toes.
“You looked like dawn. Something I'd craved for so long, I'd forgotten how much I missed it.”
I dipped my head, leaning into him. I soaked in the calm, the breeze. “What will we do now?” I addressed the elephant in the room at last. All this peace would only last so many hours. Like a mayfly at dusk, our time was waning.
He tilted his chin toward the horizon and I followed his line of sight toward a large boat heading our way.
“Have they found us already?” I breathed, terror curdling in my gut.
“No,” he said with a confidence that calmed me. “Your father has returned.”
I moved to stand, but he kept hold of me. “There's something I need to tell you before you speak with him...something I should have told you sooner.”
“What?” His tone concerned me, his eyes flashing with danger.
This couldn't be good.
“You remember when I told you of your blood? How it is more appealing than other girls'?”
I nodded slowly, searching his expression for what he was about to reveal.
His thumb traced the back of my hand, his eyes pinned on that place. “Mercy and I spoke of it once. She suspected your blood might have an ability...” He took a deep breath, his brow furrowed as he looked me in the eye. “The ability to cure Vampirism.”
I let out a wary laugh, looking for the prank in his gaze, but it wasn't there. And before I could really absorb such a possibility, he began supplying me with evidence.
“Ravenos drank a lot of your blood, remember?”
I nodded, recalling how the V had had a strange reaction, falling to his knees and cursing me for doing something to him. But I'd had no idea what. He'd seemed entirely unharmed physically.
“I believe he had a stab of conscience. Turned more human than he'd been in over a century.”
“I-” I couldn't think of a response, my only instinct was to deny it. “But you drank my blood and you're not human.”
“No.” His eyes lightened a fraction. “But you know how it affects me. It's not like a normal feed. Even now I still feel my heart beating, my thoughts are clearer, my emotions are entirely present. And I haven't fed from you since yesterday.”
I nodded slowly, trying to let the weight of this reality sink in.
“And that's not all...” He gave me a small smile. “I know I haven't had a chance to tell you much about my human life, or even thereafter, but...I believe you are descended from someone I knew and loved very much.”
“What?” I stood in surprise. He followed me to my feet, keeping close.
I ran a hand through my hair, battling it back against the wind. “Who?”
“A friend of mine. Her name was Kaitlin.”
I nodded, gazing at my father's boat which was drawing in to shore, unsure what to say.
Varick followed my gaze. “When we have more time, I'll tell you everything I recall about her.”
I nodded, turning back to him. “So you really think I'm the cure?”
Frown lines formed on Varick's brow. “Yes, and from the smell of your father I'd guess he is, too.”
I searched his shadowed eyes. “How does it work?”
“I don't know.” He gave me an apologetic smile.
I reached up, running my thumb across his bristly chin. “Do you want to be human again?” I asked, no more than a whisper.
His face shifted into his most human expression, his eyebrows lifted, light dancing in his eyes, his mouth hooking up at one corner. “Do you really have to ask?”
Before I could say another word, Varick lifted me as if I weighed no more than a handbag, swinging me around his body so I clung to his back. He took off at speed down the hillside, heading toward the beach where my father would dock. The sight of that boat gave me hope. Hope that we had more allies than we knew. And that this freedom would persist. Perhaps even long enough to figure out how the cure worked.