"What now?" I asked, as we rode.

"What do you mean?" Jax's eyes never left the trail ahead of us, barely visible in the fog.

I was sure he knew what I meant and was playing for time. "You're taking me back to Holm's Rest?"

"Of course."

"And then what? You throw me in the dungeon?"

"I don't want to do that. I almost never do that to women I've slept with. It just seems so very ungrateful."

"But you expect me to stay?"

"I insist upon it."

"Then you'd better throw me in the dungeon and we both know it."

Still, he stared at the track, not giving me so much as a glance. He knew I was speaking the truth.

"As long as Sadie is in danger then I have to try and help her, and if that means trying to escape again then that's what I will do. You know that, Jax. You may not have known me long but I think you know me pretty well. Well enough to know that I can't leave a friend in that situation. Maybe you understand that so well because you would do the same thing in my situation, wouldn't you?"

"I wouldn't have messed up my first escape attempt," replied Jax.

I ignored him. "Tell me the truth; would you even respect me if I didn't try to help Sadie?"

Jax said nothing.

"It seems to me we have two choices..."

"It seems to me you have one choice: to do as you're told." His voice was commanding but all the spanking in the world wouldn't allow him to dominate me on this subject.

"If you take me back to Holm's Rest then I will try to escape, whether you give me a nice room in the keep or throw me in the dungeon in chains. That is what's going to happen. I may not succeed, but nothing you do will stop me from trying. Or," I took a deep breath, "you can help me save Sadie. You can complete the mission you set out on and deal the Sudder a blow from which they may never recover."

"Without wanting to be callous," said Jax, his voice flat, his face expressionless, "I can lock you up for a few days and the situation will resolve itself. Maybe not to my satisfaction and certainly not to yours. But pretty soon, all this will cease to be an issue."

He was talking about Sadie's imminent death and I shook my head firmly. "No, it won't, Jax, and you know that better than anyone."

Maybe it was a test to see if I really understood. If Jax, or any Norren stopped me from going to Sadie's aid - however futile such an attempt was - then there would be no home for me here. Not ever. Even if I had no chance of saving Sadie whatsoever, I could never forgive those who prevented me from trying. Jax understood living with such a feeling. He would never forgive the Sudder for what had happened to Kern. No matter how many he killed, it would never make up for the loss that had cut a piece out of his heart.

Still, Jax did not look at me. But he said, "We'll talk to the others."

I said no more, knowing better than to push him further.

"There's word coming in from our contacts in the Sudder villages," said Killian grimly, "the Priests are on the hunt for replacement virgins."

"Why just in the villages?" asked Gage. "Surely they'd have more luck in one of the citadels."

Adrien nodded. "That's what I wondered. There are more people to choose from in the citadels and the Priests can keep a closer eye on people's morals there, so they'd be more likely to find more virgins of the right age."

"Yes," nodded Jax. "But they'd also have to explain themselves. The sacrifices happen to protect the people in the citadels. That's where the rich Sudders live, and their children aren't getting sacrificed. They probably know the sacrifice happens but being rich means getting to ignore it and pretend you know nothing about it. No; they may struggle to find virgins of the right age and type out in the villages, where religion doesn't have such a stranglehold and a pretty girl may not make much of an effort to keep hold of her virginity, but that's where they'll keep looking because no one – or, at least, no one 'important' - will care when those girls get taken."

"What do you mean the 'right type' of girl," I asked, wondering how I had ever qualified as the 'right type'.

"A virgin sacrifice is worth more when the girl is between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five," explained Killian. "They figure that before that, staying a virgin takes less of an effort, so it means less, and after that a girl is no longer in her prime."

"Oh, so a woman of twenty-six is past it?" I snapped.

"Hey, it's your dumb religion, not mine. I make no distinction for age. Within reason."

"But it's more than age," Jax went on. "All those things they made you do in the temple; the festival dances, purification rituals, making perfume - sacrificial victims are bred to be pure in mind as well as in body."

"So, they're looking for boring girls?" I suggested.

"Well, that's not a very nice thing to say. Some people enjoy making perfume."

"Fair enough."

"The point is," Adrien stepped in, "you and your twenty-four mates have been forced to live this way. You were made into the perfect sacrificial victims. Now, they're having to look for someone who lived a life similar to that you had in the temple, but by choice."

I shook my head. "That seems like a tall order."

Jax shrugged. "There's always someone who wants to be closer to the gods. They'll find someone. She may not be perfect, but they'll find someone."

"So, it's going ahead," said Gage, flatly.

"That's how it's looking," nodded Jax.

Adrien turned to his leader. "You still think trying to stop it is a fool's errand?"

"I think," Jax replied, "that trying to break into the temple precinct and steal more girls is still a fool's errand. We'd never succeed again and we'd lose our lives in the attempt. Lose-lose. But," he went on as he saw me opening my mouth to protest, "that may not matter anymore."

"Why not?" asked Gage.

"Because it's almost time," said Jax, plainly. "If the Chosen haven't already left the temple precinct then they will soon. Either way, by the time we get back to the temple, they'll be already on their way to the volcano."

"So, we're too late?" I gasped, feeling the bottom drop out of my stomach.

But Jax shook his head. "On the contrary, perhaps we should have been timing it like this all along. Getting into the temple was extremely difficult and came with no guarantees of success - as we've demonstrated. Previous attempts had always ended up in our soldiers getting killed - the temple is just too well defended. But now the girls have left the temple. They're still well protected but they're out in the open and heading for a mountain terrain. Nobody knows mountain terrain like we do. They're more vulnerable now than at any other point."

"So, why did you try to kidnap us in the first place?" I asked, frowning. "Why wasn't this always your plan?"

"Because it's all or nothing," said Jax, with a rueful smile. "If we raid the precinct and fail then we can try again. But if we target the sacrifice itself and fail, then the sacrifice goes ahead and that's that. This is the last-ditch attempt."

It was a grim reckoning, but the guys looked oddly confident. This was how they liked things to be; the odds were against them, but they were in comfortable surroundings and doing what they loved. These were the moments they lived for.

"Do you think they'll be expecting us?" asked Adrien.

Jax nodded. "They're fools if they don't. And the Sudder are many things, but they're not fools. Not about this sort of thing, anyway. Kidnapping Aleah probably tipped our hand - let them know that we're not letting this happen without a fight. Too many decades they've gotten away with this. That ends now."

"We'll need more people," said Gage. "If they're expecting us then it's going to be a battle."

Jax nodded. "I'll speak to the king. Get your gear together."

The men broke, going their purposeful separate ways like the professional unit that they were. Over the past few days it had, inevitably, become easy for me to forget that they were soldiers who knew their job well. I had been having such fun with them, enjoying their company and getting to see their lighter side, that it was easy to forget that when the order was given they snapped to it without hesitation. This was what they did.

I was left standing alone, wondering how much my intervention had influenced this turn of events. If I hadn't ridden off into the night like an idiot then the news would still have come in about the Sudders searching for other virgins, so perhaps they would have changed their plans anyway. I liked to hope that my persistent badgering on the subject had made some difference, had made them think about the lives of those innocent girls which would be lost if they did nothing. But then again, the idea that these four men and more - many more - would be going into a battle in which some would surely die, just so I could save Sadie? That was a heavy weight to bear. Perhaps I preferred the idea that they would have been doing this anyway, and saving Sadie was just a nice bonus for me.

But if that was the case, then what use was I? That wasn't important, of course; this wasn't about me. And yet... I wanted to feel a part of it. I wanted to be useful. Even if those desires were selfish, I had to acknowledge them. Being here in Norren had taught me that selfish desires are not always a bad thing. I wanted to help save Sadie and I wanted to be there with Jax, Gage, Adrien and Killian when they risked their lives. I wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with them, even if it meant risking my own life.

A thought occurred to me. I examined it in my head from every angle. I wasn't a soldier or a tactician, I didn't know the first thing about how a battle was fought but I had a hunch that what you really wanted was something unexpected to give you an advantage. Maybe this could be that.

I hurried off to find Jax and spotted him marching out of the keep with King Aelric beside him.

"Jax!"

Jax held up a hand. "Not now, Aleah. We need to muster the men of Norren."

"Usually we would send out a rider to all the towns and villages," said King Aelric, "to gather a proper fighting force. But from what Jax tells me, there is not time for that, so we will have to make do with the men of Holm's Rest." His face told a grim story. "The odds will be heavily against them."

"I'm coming with you," I said urgently.

"I'm not sure that will redress the odds all that much," replied Aelric.

"You're not coming," said Jax, flatly.

"Why not? I'm no use to them anymore." In fact, me getting sacrificed might well anger the volcano enough to turn it against the Sudder, on account of me no longer 'qualifying' as a sacrifice.

"I don't want anything to happen to you," snapped Jax, sounding for a moment like the old Jax, angry at himself for wanting to protect me, though I suspected that he was angrier at me for making him say it in front of his king.

"You wanted a way of redressing the odds," I went on, "well, I think I've got a plan that might do just that."

"A plan?" wondered King Aelric.

"Pay no attention to her," said Jax briskly.

"I think I'd like to hear her plan first," smiled Aelric. "I have a feeling, Jax, that where young Aleah is concerned, your judgment may have become a little clouded.”

Jax and I met up with the others outside the stables.

"Saddle Moon Cow," said Jax, a little petulantly, I thought. "Aleah is coming with us."

"Coming with us?" Adrien sounded shocked and concerned. "But... She won't be safe."

"Norren women can fight," said Gage, "and we don't even bring them along to battle. Why are we taking along a Sudder who can't fight?"

"I am right here," I said, tired of the men talking over my head. "And I can fight."

"Not like a Norren."

"So, maybe I fight like a Sudder. They've been kicking your ass for long enough." Maybe not the best joke to break out in the middle of the largest town in Norren but it shut them up.

"Aleah has a plan," said Jax. "And Aelric thinks it's a good one."

I gave Jax a narrow-eyed stare and he sighed.

"I think it's a good one, too."

"Damn right you do."

"I'll explain it to you as we ride," said Jax, taking his horse's reins. "Aelric is mustering the men. We're to ride on to the volcano to establish a base camp and recce the area before the rest arrive."

The men nodded and mounted up, Killian helping me into the saddle. They probably had more to say about my involvement, more questions to ask and more objections to make. But as ever, their duty came first. They had been given their orders and they would obey them. As we rode out of the gates of Holm's Rest, I resolved that I would do the same. It was not in my nature to obey rules or do as I was told, but now, for the first time in my life, I felt a need and a desire to do so. I had always been part of something larger than myself, but this was the first time that I had felt myself a willing part of something.

I was a Norren soldier on my way to accomplish a vital mission.

I would play my part and do my best, standing alongside my comrades. I didn't know how this was going to turn out, but being there with them meant more to me than I could put into words.