VEE

The meeting ends abruptly as Xander leaves, knocking into furniture as he does. Although Joss told me the information before the meeting, hearing everything outlined and the truth shared with everybody important in my life dropped the full weight on my shoulders.

Xander’s reaction didn’t surprise me, but his words did. I’ve watched him lose control more and more recently, and I hope this isn’t his tipping point. I clung onto Joss as we attempted to hold each other together, but it’s hard when I sensed he was losing his control again.

I stumble to my feet and follow Xander, who stands in the hallway, head and palms against the wall. Heath’s shock and Ewan’s quiet scare me. What will be said next?

"Xander," I say, and touch his shoulder.

He doesn’t respond, despite me trying several times to get his attention. I turn back to the others, eyes filling with tears, but not for myself, because I’m numb. Their pain and anguish flood towards me, and I struggle to breathe through the intensity from all four guys at once.

Ewan steps towards me; I’m squashed against his chest, face smothered as he holds me tight. I gasp against him for breath, unable to move. I don’t want to feel him hurting; I can’t stand feeling how fractured each of their hearts and minds are. His breath comes fast against my hair, but he doesn’t speak. I squeeze my eyes, willing the tears to go, because if he sees them, it will make things worse.

I pull back and Ewan holds my face in both hands, lost eyes searching mine. "We'll fix this, Vee. He won't win."

I nod and loosen his hands from my face, watching for Heath’s reaction. He hasn’t said a word; barely spoke in our meeting. His head’s bowed, fringe in his face obscuring his eyes the way he likes to hide sometimes. I cross to him and hold my palm against his cheek.

"Heath." He doesn’t look up. "Don’t you shut me out too."

"Let me hold this together," he whispers. "Don’t let me break down. Not now. If one of us does, we all will."

My heart tears, pulled between the four of them, our bond’s intensity pulling our souls apart too. The cruelty stuns me. Whatever the hell we are, underneath we’re people with human emotions.

I look to the ceiling and hold back the desire to scream at the universe for hurting the people I love.

* * *

Somehow, we find ourselves back in the Collector’s room, as he tells us to take time, half-joking that we’re crowding his hallway. His attempt to break the tension fails. I sit back on the sofa beside Joss. Xander stands far from the rest of us, arms wrapped tightly around himself. I’d go to him, but if I stand my legs will shake, and if Xander pushes me away again, he’ll trigger what I’m holding back—that I want to curl up in a ball and cry.

"We head back to the house," he says after several quiet minutes.

"We can’t, Xander," Joss replies. "There’s nothing left, remember?"

He spins around ready to retort and I watch as realisation crosses his defeated face. "Oh. Yeah."

"Where do we go?" asks Heath. "We’re homeless now."

"The Collector says we can stay here," Joss says. "Though I get the impression he wants this short term."

"No. Maybe a night, but then we move on. Seth’s succeeded in smoking us out—literally—so now we go to the bastard." Xander grabs his jacket. "I still want to see what’s left of the house, maybe we can salvage something."

I exchange glances with Heath. Ewan said there was little left. But if Xander needs to do this, it could help matters.

"Besides, my car is there," he grumbles.

"Are you thinking about your fucking car now?" Ewan interrupts, incredulous voice loud. "After what we’ve just been told, you’re worried about that?"

Xander narrows his eyes at Ewan. "No."

Joss grabs Ewan’s sleeve as he stands. "I think he’s trying to deflect how he feels, Ewan."

"What are you? My fucking psychologist now?" shouts Xander.

"We need to discuss and get our heads around what we’ve just discovered," Joss continues. "Overreacting won’t help!"

Ewan drags a sleeve away. "Overreacting? Someone just told us Vee was going to die and there’s nothing we can do to stop it."

I cringe back in the seat. What hurts me more, talk of my death or the division happening in the room?

"Bullshit," snarls Xander. "Prophecies are bullshit."

I watch the exchange around me, heart racing so hard I start to lose my breath.

Joss grips my hand; his presence helps. But with the numbing horror comes a relief—relief that I finally know the truth about myself.

Will I die? Can we stop this?

"Vee?"

I shake my head, unable to speak, frightened I’ll inflame the situation somehow. I'll stop Chaos. I don’t know what will happen to me, but the power Logan sees—that I feel—inside me will explode one way or another.

But what if the devastation I saw in my vision the night with Ewan wasn't caused by Chaos, but by me? That in order to kill Chaos, I destroy what’s around us?

I blink the thought away. No. I'm here to prevent that.

But still so much remains unanswered, and the lack of firm answers is what gives me hope.