VEE

Back to serious, or an attempt to be. Is this my remaining human side trying to blot out the world rather than let the fear take over? I sit on the sofa between Heath and Ewan, head lolling onto Heath's shoulder. Heath fussed around me, repeatedly asking Joss to confirm I'm okay. Thank god Ewan and Joss can tell the bones of the story.

While I was talking with Syv, Joss and Ewan gave the other two a rundown on what happened. Heath and Xander quiz me over how I closed the portal. I can’t fully explain how due to the fact I’m drunk and because I barely remember anything but the overriding need to do it. In Xander’s eyes I see what’s inside me—frustration that Seth has done something we again don’t fully understand. We still don’t know what I’m capable of—evidently not zapping smirking gods out of trees.

I rest my head on Heath’s shoulder and he curls an arm around me. "Are you okay after what happened?"

"Teleporting, or seeing Seth?" I mumble.

"Both," replies Xander. "I’m annoyed we weren’t all there."

"I don’t think it’s time to confront Seth yet, is it? Look at what he is." Despite the sense in Joss’s words, I can tell Xander isn’t amused.

"But how did it happen? That’s what I don’t understand." asks Heath.

I shift to rest my head against his chest, burrowing my cheek into his soft warmth and soothing myself with his scent. Please let the room stop spinning.

"Vee?"

"I don’t know. I suppose Seth did it somehow."

"How did you feel when you saw Seth?" asks Heath.

I push hair from my face. "Pissed off. I wanted to hurt him before he hurt one of us."

"Do you think you could? Did you feel stronger?" Xander sits forward. "Anything helps us here."

"I don’t know, Xander. I felt a strong connection to the portal energy, but my response to him was emotional. Like when you’re at full War power. If he’d been close I wouldn’t have thought first, I would’ve just smashed the bastard."

I glare at Joss as he laughs. "Sorry!" He holds his hand up. "The image in my head is a good one."

"This is a double-edged sword," replies Xander. "Vee can somehow teleport to threatened portals—presumably—but that makes it bloody hard to know when this might happen."

"Maybe I'll learn to control the feelings?" I suggest.

Xander scrunches his nose up. Obviously, he doesn't agree.

He’s right. What if I suddenly disappear in the middle of the night? If Seth now knows I'm connected, then he can use that to his advantage. The silence tells me I’m not the only one considering this could happen.

"Vee healing Ewan is good," puts in Heath. "I know we don't talk about the topic because you think it'll freak me out, but I'm confident if we die when we confront Seth, Vee can help."

Heath's statement jerks me alert and I cling to his arm. He folds a hand over mine and squeezes. If he dies.

"I don’t think we look for Seth until we have all the information we can find. There must be a way to take him down; it’s obvious us and Vee are the connection or he wouldn’t have spent weeks playing with us."

"What do we make of his story?" asks Heath in a quiet voice. "Was he telling the truth or messing with us?"

"We know he’s the god of Chaos, so some of it makes sense," I say.

"I think Heath means the part about god, angels and demons, and what we might be," says Joss quietly.

Is this it? Is this the moment their fears are finally shared, and Joss’s experiences listened to?

"It means Seth lived with us long enough to pick up on what we worry about by listening in to conversations." Xander drinks the beer he’d fetched himself. "Even I heard you talking to Vee about your biblical stuff. I wish you wouldn’t obsess about that shit."

"Why are you in constant denial about this?" asks Joss. "You’ve had visions too."

"Dreams." He swigs again. "Not visions."

But I saw something in Xander when we were in the hotel room; when our bodies and minds connected I saw and felt screaming and pain. Screaming and pain Joss has experienced and described to me.

"I know but—"

"Change the subject," snaps Xander. "Falling for Seth’s mind games isn’t helpful right now. God and his band of merry angels is a fabrication. Look at Ripley—him and the demons aren’t from Hell, but a different realm. Ripley told us that once. Chaos is the god who created all this."

I wait for Joss to push the topic, hoping he doesn’t because I’m too drunk and exhausted for theological arguments.

"Fine. Did you finish your meeting with Ripley?" asks Joss eventually.

"Cut short," replies Xander.

"What did you decide about Portia?" Ewan asks.

"Another double-edged sword." Heath pushes hair from his face. "If we don't tell her, she'll lose her shit when she finds out. If we do, Logan and she will likely be distracted by an internal fae war."

Xander nods. "Then we tell her, but not who's involved."

"She won't go near demons."

"Neither would we two days ago. Portia always demands we tell her everything, so maybe we should. Whether she wants to believe us or not is up to her."

"Logan seems to think he can take on the role of diplomat himself," puts in Heath.

Xander leans back in his chair. "Uh huh. I doubt his motives. I doubt all their motives."

Heath sighs. "I know, but today we saw what Seth is capable of. At least before the meeting ended, we agreed to share defending the portals’ wards from breaking. That should hopefully keep Vee in one place, if Seth touching the portal is what caused her to teleport."

Joss laughs, and I frown at him. "Sorry, it just sounds so weird."

"Here we fucking go again," says Heath in a harsh tone. "Back on the merry-go-round."

"No." Xander leans forward hands on knees. "We're not. We've learned Seth still wants to play with us. We know what his aim is, and we know Vee is—" He pauses and glances at me.

"On your side? Not his?" I suggest.

Xander casts his eyes down. "Yeah. Sorry, Vee."

I shrug. "S'okay. Took you long enough." But it's not. The fact even the smallest doubt remains, hurts.

"You spoke to Syv—has she found what we need yet, Vee?"

"Not yet. She’s closer though."

"We definitely need to help her out now," says Joss. "Seth threatened her."

"Where is Syv?" asks Joss.

"In your bed, comatose, probably," Xander replies. "I'm surprised Vee isn't."

"Surprised Vee isn’t in my bed, or isn’t comatose?" Joss smirks.

Everybody ignores him and he sighs.

"Yeah, you stink of alcohol, Vee," says Heath. "How much did you have?"

I attempt a focused smile. "I'm fine. Tired. The teleporting thing freaked me out. Besides, it was nice to chat to a female for a change."

Xander laughs. "Oh yeah, girl talk."

"No, actually," I protest. "She was telling me stories about her life. It was good to know mine isn't the weirdest."

"Just be careful," says Ewan. "She's not one hundred percent trustworthy."

"I think she's more trustworthy than Ripley and his colleagues," I reply.

"Yeah, what about Breanna?" he asks. "Do you think she can help? How closely linked is she to Ripley? In ten years, we've never come across her before."

Joss taps the table. "If she has skills at translating texts, I think we should ask her to help next time we see her. I can show her the book we have too. I’ve never quite deciphered everything. "

"Which one?" asks Xander. "You have a crapload of books."

"The one with the Four Horsemen in," Joss replies.

I can't resist a drunk giggle. "The one with the pornographic pictures."

Xander snaps his head around. "What?"

"Vee means that detailed illustration of the four of us with her," says Joss and we share an amused look.

Xander runs his tongue along his teeth. "You showed her that?"

"Don't worry, Xander, I won't be asking for a demonstration," I say.

Our eyes meet, but he says nothing.

I flick a look between Ewan and Heath too, attempting to gauge their reaction. I already know Joss's thoughts. Heath watches me curiously. Is he waiting for my opinion?

Ewan stands. "I need some space. I hope Syv didn't crash in my bed."

"Nice subject change, dude," says Joss.

He huffs. "Like Vee said, not going to happen. I won't be joining in if you do."

I stare at my hands, annoyed with myself for my joke, because Ewan's tone isn't amused.

"Whatever, we'll show the book, and anything else we think might help," says Joss. "We have to do everything we can to solve this."

"We have to figure out how to stop it. Vee suddenly disappearing isn’t good."

"You’re telling me!" I say with a laugh.

"Next time you feel the same sensations, tell us. Nobody leave Vee alone. Ever." Xander stands. "Okay?"

"Even the bathroom?" I hiccup again. "Seriously? Oh! What if it happens when I’m naked or we’re..." I trail off. "Yeah. This is bad."

Despite the alcohol taking the edge off my concerns, I’m worried. Is this random and connected to the portals, or some control Seth has over me? The idea it’s the latter churns my stomach.