CHAPTER TWO
IT WOULD HAVE been nice, Amber thought, to ride into town with Noel. If she had her way, they’d be spending a lot more time together.
Unfortunately, he could get called out if the station needed him, and she couldn’t stay late, not when she had to open the bookstore early tomorrow morning. So far their romance, what there was of it, had been pieced together in the name of convenience.
Convenience had certainly worked for her. But what if that was all it was?
No, Noel cared more than that, she was sure of it. Tonight, she’d nail him down and get some answers. She had the drive to think about what exactly to say, but also to anticipate every possible response he might make, from the unthinkable to the expected.
Her dad and Uncle Sawyer lived further from town with joined property on the lake. Uncle Jordan and Georgia lived out a ways too, but not on the lake. Uncle Gabe and Elizabeth were in town, and Casey and Emma lived on the opposite side of the lake. Just about anywhere she went in Buckhorn, she was likely to run into eagle-eyed family.
Given the circumstances, an intrusion might have been welcome, a way to delay the inevitable. Of course this was one of the few times she didn’t see anyone familiar and by the time they’d reached the small house Noel had recently purchased, she’d worked herself into a frenzy.
She was a woman who faced issues head-on, and she wanted this particular issue resolved...to her satisfaction.
Now that she’d made up her mind to force Noel to confront, and admit to, his feelings, only the tiniest doubt worried through her brain.
Tiny doubts, she realized, were not her forte.
He parked before her, then got out and came around to open her door.
Neighbors waved to them, a dog barked in the fenced yard next door and kids ran past in a game of tag.
Watching her closely, those velvety brown eyes of his alert, Amber wondered if he sensed her determination.
Likely. From the beginning, Noel had always been highly attuned to her.
He took her hand in his, reminding her of his size, how much larger and stronger he was—and how much it thrilled her. Going through the garage entrance, he led her into the kitchen.
She’d helped him choose this house, and in her mind she’d seen it as a starter home for a family.
Their family.
Three small bedrooms, a respectably sized kitchen and breakfast nook, and the open great room, large enough for a group of ten or more to gather together.
She’d pictured dinners with her family visiting, maybe another dog or two...and kids.
Turning her at the island that separated the kitchen from the great room, Noel caught her hips and put his forehead to hers.
She waited for his kiss, but instead he said, “I still smell like smoke. Want to join me in another shower?”
Yes. But she hesitated. Once they got in the shower, she’d give up her promise to her dad and nothing would get settled. So instead she pushed him back a few inches and said, “Let’s talk first and shower after.”
His gaze narrowed, then he stepped back, putting some space between them.
It wasn’t only physical, Amber knew. She felt the emotional chasm as well and she didn’t like it. “Don’t look so glum, Noel. I’m not going to propose.”
His eyes narrowed more. “I’m not glum.”
“Baloney. You’re braced like you think I plan to attack.”
He shrugged. “I know your moods, Amber. You’re definitely in attack mode. Given the day we’ve had and how your family came after me, I expect to be jumped any minute now.”
Not liking that distance between them, she again caught the front waistband of his shorts and drew him back to her. She loved being held against his hard body, the heat of him, the smell of his skin. “I thought you liked it when I jumped you.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice going husky with suggestion. “How about you get naked first, though?”
She laughed with the pleasure of being wanted by Noel. “For what I have in mind, it’s better if we keep on our clothes.”
Just that quickly, he retreated again, his gaze now challenging. He said nothing.
So the ball was in her court, huh? Fine. She wasn’t a wimp. She could handle it.
Cuddling against him, she murmured, “If I talk about the future, will you go all stiff again?”
His hand slid down to her bottom and he said, “I’m already stiff, and it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with talking.”
“Mmm. So you are.” He knew exactly how to sidetrack her...but not this time. She tilted up her face to see him. His dark eyes, such a sexy contrast from his fair hair, stared down into hers, waiting with a level of patience that often frustrated her. “You are such a beautiful man.”
His mouth curled in an amused smile. “Beautiful, huh? With my hairy legs and five-o’clock shadow?”
Amber nodded. “And your dark eyes and buff body and—” she touched a fingertip to his mouth and sighed “—your crooked smile.”
He lightly bit her fingertip. “Dare I hope that this is what you wanted to talk about?”
Blast. He’d sidetracked her after all. With a wince, she said, “Not exactly.”
“No, I didn’t think so.” Stepping away from her again, he pulled out a stool at the island, offered it to her, then took one of his own.
She saw the exhaustion in his face and wondered how much sleep he’d gotten. As he’d said, showering after the fire hadn’t completely rid him of the scent. Every so often she detected the faint odor of smoke still clinging to his body.
Knowing she couldn’t keep him waiting, she said, “It’s not about marriage.”
Humor lit his eyes. “Yet somehow the word keeps popping up.”
That made her scowl. Despite his obvious amusement, she’d heard the cynicism in his tone and darn it, she resented it. She propped her hands on her hips. “I guess you’re one of those guys who is determined to stay single?”
That grin she loved graced his face. In the next second he’d hauled her in between his spread knees and had his mouth on hers. Warm, firm lips moved over hers until she opened. He licked in, his tongue teasing hers, stroking, melting her bones.
What did that kiss mean?
When he rocked her against his erection, she had her answer.
He eased up enough to say, “I know you like to do things your own way, honey. But how about you give me a chance to offer before you start insisting?”
Meaning he would be offering? Obviously she’d lied, to herself and him, when she’d said this wasn’t about marriage, and now her heart soared, more so when his kiss turned consuming.
She started to lean back, to question him, to maybe cheer, but with his hands on her, one open on the back of her neck, the other over her backside, she couldn’t budge.
He lifted her as he stood, her body held flush against his, and started down the hall to his bedroom without breaking that deep kiss. Amber wrapped her legs around his waist, and oh wow, the friction was amazing.
He’d obviously forgotten his shower and she didn’t care. Noel always smelled good.
There was more she needed to talk about, but she’d have plenty of time later to get to it. Much later.
They went down on the bed together, Noel over her, her legs still around him. God, how she loved the press of his weight.
He freed her mouth to trail hot kisses down her neck, then curled her toes with a growling love bite against the sensitive spot where her shoulder started.
Rising to his elbows, which pressed his lower body more firmly against the open juncture of her legs, he asked gruffly, “We’re good now?”
With his dark gaze holding her captive, her whole body tingling at the feel of his erection, his words didn’t register.
Amber tried to bring his mouth back to hers.
Resisting, he said, “Your talk?” He kissed the bridge of her nose, her chin, her mouth again. “You said it wasn’t about marriage, but—”
Dazed, needy, she touched her fingertips to his bristly jaw. “It was about kids.”
He went utterly still.
Lost to lust, Amber barely noticed. She trailed her touch to his thick hair, then around to his neck. “Noel...” she whispered, wanting him now.
“You’re not pregnant.”
“No.” Not yet, she wasn’t. She leaned up and nipped his bottom lip. “I’m not talking about kids right now. But someday—”
“I don’t want any.”
Hearing the implacability in that stark statement, Amber dropped back to the pillow.
Staring up at him, she tried to decipher the joke—not that he’d sounded joking. But...he had to be.
“Ever?” she teased, waiting for his smile, his reassurance.
Without blinking, he confirmed, “Ever.”
The lust withered. He couldn’t mean that. Okay, so he wasn’t ready to settle down right now. She could handle that. But to never want children of his own?
Emotions flitted over his face, wariness, regret and then resolve. He bent to her neck again at the same time his hand curved over her breast. “I care about you, Amber. You know that.”
He cared? What did that even mean? She wanted his love, a future together.
A family.
She felt his hot breath on her ear, then the touch of his tongue, and she shivered. He couldn’t expect her to do this now. “Wait—”
His mouth covered hers, and holy smoke, he put his all into that kiss, drugging her with flaring need.
She realized her legs were still around his waist. He must have, too, given the way he slowly rocked against her. Added to the hand now caressing her breast, the thumb stroking over her nipple, and she lost her resistance in under five seconds.
Her body gave up before her mind, but her mind hadn’t lagged far behind.
When Noel levered up enough to tug off his shirt, she helped him, wanting to feel the heat of his skin, the bulk of his muscles and that crisp chest hair. Soon as he came back down to her, she stroked her hands over his shoulders to his back, down his spine to his taut behind.
He groaned...
And her cell phone buzzed in her pocket.
Pressed so close together, they both felt it.
His second groan was out of frustration. “Ignore it,” he whispered. “It’s probably just your family.”
“Just let me check,” she whispered, squirming enough to retrieve the phone from her pocket. Her family knew she’d be with Noel and wouldn’t call without reason. She looked at the caller ID and smiled. It was the next best thing to family. “Give me one second, okay? I promise to make it quick.”
He pressed his mouth to hers, lingering for a heartbeat, then sat up and away. “On some things,” he said, “I’m more than willing to compromise.”
His comment abruptly reminded her of his absurd claims. Never have children? Ridiculous. Somehow she’d figure it out.
Mocked by a twist of fate, she accepted the call from her best friend, Peggy Gold...mother of a fifteen-month-old daughter. Amber adored the little girl, everything about her.
But Noel never wanted children.
Without looking at him, she mustered up a happy tone and said into her cell, “How’s my favorite little girl?”
She pictured baby June with the adorable dimples in her chubby cheeks, how she would squeal, racing forward in her haphazard way, grasping at the air in her rush to reach Amber.
But it wasn’t Peggy who answered. “Amber? Amber Hudson?”
Alarm went up her spine and she slowly slid to the side of the bed to stand. “Yes?” She was aware of Noel, also, becoming alert.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Hudson, but I have some very distressing news to share with you.”
* * *
NOEL WATCHED HER face go blank, saw her blindly reach for something solid. He caught her hand and guided her back to sit on the side of the bed. Scooting around beside her, he stayed close, wanting to finish what they’d started, out of lust, yes, but also from a driving need to seal the deal, to confirm that things wouldn’t change between them.
For now, the call took priority. He couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Amber’s questions and responses told him someone had been hurt.
His chest tightened in dread. “Your family?”
She shook her head, then clutched his hand in hers. He went one further and put his other arm around her, surrounding her as much as he could, doing his best to lend her his strength.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Yes, today,” she promised. “I’ll leave as quickly as I can, but it’ll still take me a couple of hours... Yes, okay. Thank you.”
Leave? To go where?
Heart thumping heavily, Noel waited until she’d disconnected the call, but the second she did she was on the go, shoving the phone back into her pocket and hurrying out of his bedroom.
Urgency filled her expression, making her all but blind to him.
He caught her at the door leading out to the garage. “Whoa. Slow down, honey. Tell me what’s wrong.”
As if she’d only then remembered him, she stared at him blankly. “I have to go.”
“Okay,” he said calmly. “Tell me where.”
“My friend...” She gulped deep breaths.
When he started to hug her, she pushed away. “Don’t!” She stared at him, appalled, then explained, “If you do that, I’ll get weepy, and I can’t be weepy right now.”
Holding up his hands, his tone as gentle as he could make it, Noel said, “All right, no touching. But take a moment and tell me what’s happened.”
“My friend Peggy.”
“Peggy Gold, right? Nice smile, short brown hair.”
“And green eyes.”
He didn’t remember her eyes, but then, any woman who stood next to Amber tended to disappear—at least for him. “Yeah, I met her a few times. I think it was at the bookstore once, and then at your house a few times.”
Amber nodded. “She has a daughter.”
“I remember.” Cute little girl, but Noel had deliberately steered clear of the child. Then a thought struck him. God, he hoped she wasn’t hurt.
“She’s in the hospital and it’s bad.”
It felt like his heart hit his feet and all the oxygen left his brain. “The baby...?”
“No.” She took in his reaction with awed speculation, then shook her head. “Peggy. A car accident... June wasn’t with her...” She gave up on explanations. “I have to go.”
Again Noel caught her arm. “June is the baby?”
“Yes. She was with the sitter. Peggy was on her way home from work.” Her lip trembled before she flattened her mouth. “I have to go.”
Noel held on to her. “You’re shaking.” Knowing that the baby was okay helped him to regain his composure. “Let me drive you.”
She gave him an unreadable look, shook her head and said, “She moved a month ago and now lives almost an hour from here. I don’t know how long I’m going to stay, and you’ll have to work.”
No, he thought, his mind rebelling. She couldn’t go like this. “I’ll drive you and then come back.” Along the way, he could at least explain...what? How did a man explain something that he couldn’t bear to talk about?
Amber refused him. “You’re sweet, but I don’t have time for this. Please, Noel, just let me go.”
Let her go? Why did she say that with so much inevitability? He sought the right words to convince her, but Amber didn’t give him a chance to speak.
“You know me. I’ll be fine. I always am.” She backed up to the door, opened it. At the last second, she said, “I love you.” Then she was gone.
Noel stood there, rooted to the spot. She’d made that pronouncement so casually, as if it weren’t life-altering, as if it didn’t take his breath away.
Amber loved him... He’d waited a long time to hear that, but now that he had, desperation gripped him.
Would her love for him be enough to keep her?
* * *
WHILE DRIVING HOME to pack a bag, Amber stayed busy making arrangements. Her cousin Shohn’s wife, Nadine, agreed to take care of her boxer. Rookie loved visiting Nadine’s pet hotel, Animal House. Some of his best friends were there, and while she knew he’d miss her, he’d also have a great time.
Next she called her cousin Adam. As an elementary-school gym teacher, he had some time off in the summer and could go to the bookstore to rearrange her schedule to accommodate a few days off. He also knew her two part-time employees and would be able to get in touch with them for her.
Lastly she called her mom and dad and explained what had happened. Like Noel, Morgan tried to convince her that he should do the driving for her. After trying to deny him, unsuccessfully since she wasn’t quite up to her usual brass, it was Misty who insisted that he let her be.
Her mother understood that while she wasn’t a crier, too much coddling during an emotionally difficult time could absolutely shake her foundation.
Rookie, thrilled to see her when she got home, used his doggy door to shoot in from the backyard, slid across the kitchen floor and plowed into her with enthusiasm.
Amber sank to her knees. “Hey, bud. I missed you, too.” He licked her face while crawling into her lap, his whole body jiggling. This was the routine they went through every workday, though usually on a weekend gathering at her dad’s or her uncle Sawyer’s house, she’d have taken Rookie along. She’d only left him behind this time because she’d hoped to spend a few hours with Noel, and she’d assumed she and the dog would have the evening together.
Rookie followed her around the house while she hastily packed a few things for an overnight stay. She was just about to go when her brother showed up. Garrett knocked, then came in without waiting for her to answer. He didn’t give her a chance to dodge him, either, drawing her into his arms and giving her a tight hug, then quickly setting her back before she could well up over it.
More than anyone else, her brother knew her well.
“Dad told me what happened. I came to pick up Rookie for you so you could get on the road.”
“You’ll take him to Nadine?”
“The park first, then to Nadine.”
That was almost more consideration than she could take. She started to thank him, but her throat felt too tight, so she only nodded and handed him Rookie’s leash.
After fastening it on the dog, he asked, “You have enough cash on you? A full tank of gas? Your credit card?”
Again she nodded and finally found her voice. “Yes. I’m all set.” Then with a little of her old sass, she added, “I’m not incompetent.”
“Far from it, sis, but you’re understandably upset, so if you need anything else, just let me know.” With his free hand, he picked up her suitcase and carried it out, Rookie following along from the end of the leash.
Just as they got to her truck, Adam pulled up and he had Shohn with him.
Amber rolled her eyes. With a choked laugh, she complained, “You guys.”
They knew to avoid emotional excesses and instead greeted Rookie to give her a little time.
When he straightened, Shohn asked, “Got your phone charger?”
“I keep an extra in my car.”
Garrett nodded. “Don’t worry about anything here, okay? We’ve got it covered.”
“Thanks. I’ll check in when I can.”
“That’d be nice,” he said, smoothing down her braid. “Mom and Dad like to worry.”
Garrett liked to worry, too, but she didn’t say so. “I have to go.”
Giving her a brief hug, he said near her ear, “I hope everything turns out okay.”
She nodded, squeezed him back, then stepped away to give Rookie a hug. It was nice that her dog loved all the family as much as she did.
Adam opened her truck door and she got in, then paused. Not looking at any of them, she said, “I love you guys.”
“Drive safe.”
“Drive slow.”
“Don’t get distracted.”
They were crazy and, yes, intrusive.
As Amber pulled away, she wondered what she’d do without them.
* * *
BY THE HOUR, Noel’s frustration mounted.
He didn’t know what to think. Three days had gone by and he still hadn’t spoken with Amber. He’d called her and gotten her voice mail. She’d returned his call and, since he was working, she’d left a message. A bland, impersonal message that could have been from a neighbor.
Sorry I missed you. Things are...not good here. I won’t burden you with details, just know that I’m okay but it might be a few more days before I get home. Gotta go now. Bye.
That was it. Nothing else. I won’t burden you? What the hell was that supposed to mean? They were a couple. She couldn’t burden him, not by sharing her worries.
Not by sharing herself.
When he’d called her back, it had gone straight to voice mail again.
She’d claimed to love him!
Once. Only that once—on her way out the door.
But that was three days ago and since then they’d played phone tag to the point he was ready to go after her.
When Garrett returned to the station after a community meeting, Noel zeroed in on him. He’d bet her brother had talked to her. In fact, he was sure of it.
If nothing else, Garrett could tell him where to find her, so Noel gave up on his light-housekeeping duty—a chore they all shared and one he’d get back to after he gained some answers—and headed for Garrett’s office.
The door was open, so he didn’t bother knocking, just said, “Got a minute?”
Garrett glanced up. He stood behind his desk, returning files to a drawer. “I’ve got five, then I’m working out before inspections. What’s up?”
Noel propped a shoulder against the doorframe. All firefighters maintained a level of physical fitness through workouts, so unless a call came in, they all allotted time for training and daily housekeeping.
If he’d known Garrett was headed there next, he could have gone along and casually brought up Amber... No, screw that. He didn’t feel casual, and he wouldn’t dance around it. “Where is your sister?”
Garrett stopped fiddling with the files and, brows raised, gave Noel his undivided attention. “You don’t know?”
Did he have to sound so disbelieving? “I know she got a call about her friend Peggy and that she was going to her. But we keep missing each other’s calls.”
Closing the desk drawer and folding his arms over his chest, Garrett said, “And she didn’t leave you a message?”
“She did.”
“And?”
And she hadn’t told him anything. “Look, I’m worried about her.”
“Me, too.” Garrett started out of the room, saying as he went, “Amber should be home tomorrow.”
Well, that was good news. “What time?”
“Later in the day. I’m sure she’ll catch you up then—” he stopped in front of Noel “—and tell you anything she wants you to know.”
Noel straightened. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means if my sister wanted to talk to you, she would.”
“I told you. We keep missing—”
“She knows your schedule, Noel, same as she knows mine. She hasn’t had any trouble getting in touch with me.”
True, and it burned his ass big-time. “You’re saying there are things happening with Amber, but you won’t tell me?”
Garrett shrugged. “Not my place.” But he unbent enough to ask, “What’d you do to get cut out?”
At least a dozen times a day, Noel had chewed over the last conversation they’d had. He’d told her that he never wanted kids, but not why. And worse, he’d taken away her opportunity to talk to him about it. Guilt added to his irritation, so he growled, “None of your damn business.”
Garrett laughed. “You came to me, remember.” And he started out of the room.
Noel said, “Just tell me if she’s okay?”
“You know my sister. She’s a rock. No matter what happens, she’s always okay.”
“You said you were worried.”
Garrett gave him a dead stare. “Yeah, but I love her, so I’m allowed.”
As Noel watched Garrett leave, he assured himself that things couldn’t be too bad, or her brother would look more upset.
I love her, so I’m allowed.
Damn it, he loved her, too. He hadn’t yet had a chance to tell her, though. In the larger scheme of things, would it matter?
Tomorrow couldn’t get here soon enough to suit him.
Tomorrow, they’d talk and somehow he’d work it all out.