Chapter 16
They’d been at it for a good hour when the polygraph examiner told Jax to sit tight and excused himself. Sitting in the small office, with two bands around his chest, a blood pressure cuff on his arm and more wires hooked up to his fingers, Jax felt a little like Frankenstein’s monster. They just needed to hook a couple of bolts to his forehead and neck, and he’d be all set.
Instead of sweating over the test, Jax thought about his surveillance of Salvador Rossi, which he’d conducted on the sly for the past week. Either the guy was innocent or he was the world’s best covert operative, which meant the Navy was underutilizing his skills. Risa had received more calls, but when he matched up her call log to Rossi’s activities, they didn’t sync.
He was missing a vital link.
Closing his eyes, Jax reviewed everything he knew about Risa, Rossi, and the harassment. No matter how hard he tried—or wished—the details didn’t line up like he thought they should.
The test examiner returned.
“Are you doing okay, Chief Faraday?”? Before sitting, he checked all the wires to make sure Jax was still hooked up.
“Happy as a clam at high tide.”
“Okay, then. I apologize for the interruption and delay.” The examiner made some quick notes as Jax waited.
Whatever. He knew they’d play mind games with him today; figured this was all part of the plan to see if they could rile him up by stalling and making him wait. The examiner ran him through the basic questions—name, age, address—along with the test question before getting back down to business.
“Have you ever lied?” the examiner asked.
“Yes.”
“Have you ever been approached by a foreign government?”
“No.”
“Have you ever sold classified info?”
“Hell, no,” he said in the same even tone.
Or maybe not, given the examiner’s lopsided frown. “Yes or no only, Chief. Have you ever sold classified info?”
“No.”
“Have you ever stolen anything?”
“Yes.” But Jax doubted they could try him for the pack of gum he’d taken at six.
“Have you ever helped anyone steal classified intelligence?”
“No.”
“Did you ever cheat on a test in school?”
“No.”
Another lopsided scowl. What did that mean? Was the man impressed with his morals or thinking Jax knew how to work the test? It could be done—there had been documented cases—but Jax played by the rules. Except when it came to a long-legged blonde with caramel-brown eyes.
He blew out a breath and focused.
“Do you need a break, Chief?”
“Nope, doing fine. Next question, please.”
“Have you made any large purchases with cash lately?”
“No.”
“Have you ever disobeyed orders?”
Damn. He hesitated, and the examiner repeated the question.
“Yes,” Jax said.
He should have been expecting that last one, especially given how many times he’d been asked if he’d ever lied, stolen, or cheated.
“Did you disobey orders for personal gain?”
Yes. No. Sort of, but not really. How the heck did he answer?
“Chief, do you need me to repeat the question?”
“No.”
“No, you don’t need me to repeat?”
Now the guy was really screwing with him. “No, I do not need you to repeat yourself and no, it was not for personal gain.”
The examiner watched his screen and smiled. “Thank you, Chief Faraday. We won’t need anything else.” The guy flipped a switch and removed all the wires and paraphernalia. “I’m sure you’ll be hearing from the agency soon. Have a nice day.”
Jax tried to see over the examiner’s shoulder to the test results, but the machine was dark. Great. So what did the examiner’s comment mean, that they didn’t need anything else? He hadn’t lied. Not really. He’d disobeyed orders for Bella’s well-being. He’d further disobeyed orders to keep Risa safe.
Would he break the rules again for the same reason? Hell yeah.
Not ready to go back to the office—where nothing waited for him except a desk and boring reports—he swung by the clinic. He’d made it this far in the process; telling Risa his news wouldn’t jinx his chances any more than what he’d done on his own. Besides, he owed her the truth.
He pushed through the door to find Corrie playing with Totes and Harle.
“Chief Faraday, did you come by to pick up the kids? I told Risa I’d take them for the night.”
That made no sense. Risa would never leave the little ones at work. “Where’s Risa?”
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Corrie climbed over the gate to join him in the reception area. “She’s on the way to L&M. Her dad was rushed to the ER.”
Jax yelled thanks as he raced out and jumped into his truck. He called the office on his way as he weaved in and out of light traffic. He sailed through green lights and swung into a prime parking spot. For the first time that day, he felt like luck was on his side. He prayed he wasn’t the only one with a guardian angel watching out for him.
The nurse refused to tell him anything other than Mr. Reynolds was with the doctor and she’d let his family know Jax was waiting. He didn’t really know what to do, so he sat in the beige chairs opposite a television tuned into some kind of daytime drama. There were a few people scattered around the room, most of whom stared at the screen like mindless zombies.
Every time the door slid open Jax looked up, expecting to see Risa. After thirty minutes of disappointment, he finally sent her a text to let her know he was there, if she needed him.
A few minutes later, Risa dropped into the empty seat next to him. She snuggled up to his side and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“You didn’t have to come,” she said.
“How’s your dad?” He assumed her comment was more out of manners than her actual desire.
“The doctors think he had a mild heart attack. They’re running a bunch of tests right now. Mum is with him.” A tear slipped down her cheek, and she rubbed it off on his uniform.
“If you want to go back there with him, honey, that’s fine. I’ll wait here for you.” Jax kissed the top of her head. “Just tell me what you need.”
“Hold me. Lie to me and say it’s all going to be bloody fine.” She sniffled and wiped away more tears. Man, he hated tears. Tears meant he’d failed to protect.
“From what I’ve seen of your dad, he’ll be walking out of here on his own two feet before the day is over.”
“I wish.” She laughed. “You’re right. My dad is strong and determined and hates to be kept down. But that man back there, lying in the hospital bed in that ridiculous pale blue gown? That’s not my dad… at least not the one I know. That man is weak, and confused, and a good twenty years older. How can he have aged so much in one day? How can he be digging fence post holes and nailing boards one day, and the next be knocking on death’s door?”
Hell if he knew, but Risa looked up at him through long, dark, wet lashes with her heart in her eyes. She needed answers he didn’t have. He did the only thing he knew how; he held on tight and lied to her that everything was going to be okay.
“Tell me about him.”
“He’s crazy in love with Mum. They’ve been married forever, and he still acts like they just got married. He loves his submarines almost as much as her. He served on them, you know. ‘Giant tin cans,’ he called them.”
“Is that how your parents met, when he was in the Navy?”
“Yes. Dad got transferred to a command in England, and one day he wandered through a park and he saw the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on, painting.” She laughed a little. “He knew he had to meet her, so he came up with an idea to compliment her work and offered to buy it. Figured that would earn him some points and then he could ask her out.”
“What happened?”
“The painting wasn’t quite what Dad expected. Mum had painted a naked man in a meadow. Why, I still have no idea.” She stopped for a minute, glancing at the doors leading to the exam rooms. “Dad didn’t look before he made the offer. So, when he saw the canvas he turned about ten shades of red, and Mum lost her heart to him.”
Jax chuckled. “Does he still have the painting?”
“It’s in his study. How about your parents? How did they meet?” Risa snuggled in closer, and he realized he’d never really told her much about his family before.
Probably for fear of scaring her off.
“They were high school sweethearts. Married right after graduation, before Dad hopped on a bus for boot camp. Everyone thought Mom was pregnant. Why else would she rush into marriage? But no, she loved my dad and wasn’t about to let him leave without knowing she’d be there for him when he returned.”
“That’s romantic.”
“Too bad it didn’t last. Dad didn’t make rank like he wanted, so he got angry. He didn’t get the assignments he thought he deserved, so he got angrier. Then one day he snapped and punched a superior officer. Luckily, he didn’t end up in jail. He got kicked out of the Army and we moved to Georgia. The two of them lasted a few more years. Long enough to saddle me with Missy as a sister.”
Risa swatted at him playfully. “I always wanted a sibling, preferably a younger sister whom I could torment and who’d be my best friend forever.”
“Torment is exactly right. Friends… I’m not sure that word describes Missy and me.”
“I don’t believe you don’t love your sister. That would be so un-boy scout-ish of you. She’s probably not that bad either.”
“Says only a person who’s never met Missy before.” But Risa was right; he did love his sister, even if she’d been a pain in his backside growing up. “She’s a lot like my mom in looks and temperament. Spoiled by both my parents, which left Missy unprepared for the cruel world when she grew up. But she has a good heart and isn’t afraid to love everyone she meets. You’d like her, as she has a soft spot for animals.”
“See, I was right. When was the last time you were home?” The tears had stopped, but every time the doors opened, she tensed under his hands.
“A couple of Christmases ago. Mom wants me to come home when my time is up. Dad tells me to stay away because there’s nothing there for me. Missy is too wrapped up in her marriage to even care.”
“Are you going to go home when you get out, Jax?” This time the tensed muscles had nothing to do with the activity going on down the hallway.
He tilted her head and kissed her. Just a soft, quick brush of her lips. He wanted more, but it wasn’t the time or place. “No. There’s nothing for me in Georgia. Nothing I want, that is. Besides, I’d miss Connecticut and all it offers.”
“Yeah, shoveling snow, so much fun.”
The doors whooshed open and Mrs. Reynolds walked out. She barely resembled the relaxed, slightly scattered woman he’d met at Risa’s a few times.
“Mum.” Risa shot up. “Is Dad okay? What’s going on?”
“Jackson, so good of you to be here for us.” She turned her attention to her daughter, smiling, but her cheeks still shone from the tears she’d wiped away. “Love, they’re running some more tests, but he’s doing well. Tired, but well. He’s going to have to stay here for a couple of days. They think it’s only a partial blockage. We’ll know more by morning. You should go home. Take care of your animals and get some rest.”
She turned to Jax before Risa could protest.
“Jackson, be a dear and drive Risa home for us, please? You’ll stay with her tonight. Otherwise, she’ll be back as soon as she’s taken care of her wards.” It wasn’t a question, not for her mom or him.
“Anything Risa needs,” he said.
* * * *
It took a great deal of patience and stubbornness to win the argument with Jax, but in the end, Risa drove herself home. She called Corrie on the way and told her she could drop off the kids at her place. Corrie, being the mother hen she was, opted to keep the two troublemakers and give Risa a break for the night.
It was probably for the best, as Risa just wanted to curl up on the couch with her blanket and a cup of tea… laced liberally with scotch.
At home, Risa went through the motions of her daily chores. There was comfort in the familiarity; her puppies’ kisses, Morpheus’s impatient yowling, and being needed.
“You need to sit or lie down before you fall down.” Jax turned her in the direction of the couch when she headed to the kitchen, and gave her a little push. “You’re exhausted. I’ll take care of dinner.”
“You don’t have to cook. There’s pizza in the freezer.” She pulled the blanket around her and snuggled up on the couch with the cat on her lap.
“I think I can do better than cheesy cardboard.” Jax opened the fridge and stuck his head inside. He sighed.
“Good luck.” She’d forgotten to go grocery shopping again.
Jax pulled out items and set them on the counter. From where she sat, she couldn’t see what he’d picked, but she was a little afraid some items might be past their expiration date.
“Jax, just cook the pizza. It’ll be safer,” she said.
He shot her a look over his shoulder—eyes narrow, mouth scrunched up in a fake frown. “You doubt my mad culinary skills? Prepare to be wowed.”
Risa smiled and let him go to town in her kitchen. Honestly, she would have been happy with a bowl of cereal or a peanut-butter-and-fluff sandwich, except she was out of cereal and fluff. Jax got busy chopping and whisking things. Was it too much to ask that he’d found the ingredients for brownies with walnuts? Chocolate always made life better.
Unfortunately, the endorphin high wouldn’t erase the day or make her dad magically better. She glanced at the clock and thought about calling her mum for an update. Sitting at the hospital, waiting for word from the doctor had been stressful. She’d been helpless and in the way. But being at home was pure torture while one thought kept circulating around in her brain. What if the doctors were wrong and her dad didn’t make it through the night?
She was thirty minutes away from the hospital. If her dad started to code, she’d never make it back in time.
Tears ran down her cheeks. She looked around for her phone and purse. No way could she sit there and do nothing.
“She’s right here. No, she’s resting. Let me put her on the phone,” Jax said.
Risa took the cell from him, her heart in her throat. She hadn’t even heard the phone ring.
“Mum?” She was afraid to ask; afraid to hear her thoughts were correct.
Her mother gave her a quick update and said Dad was resting before hanging up to be with him. Jax returned from the kitchen, took the phone, and handed her a plate of food.
“Eat. It’ll help.”
He returned to the kitchen for his own plate. She stared down at the impossibly large omelet and toast. What had he found to fill it with? She took her first bite and warm, gooey cheese melted across her tongue. She took another and another, until she’d cleaned her plate. A few minutes before, she had doubted she could stomach one mouthful.
Jax dropped down next to her and stared at her empty dish with a smile that reached his eyes. “Go ahead. Say it.”
“Say what?” She put down the plate and scratched Morpheus’s chin before he jumped off.
“That I’m a culinary god.”
She laughed. “It was eggs, Jax. Good, but I don’t think they’ll earn you a spot on Master Chef.”
“I was going for Chopped but I couldn’t figure out how to incorporate the sweet pickles.”
“Eww.” She half-laughed.
“Feel better?” Jax stacked their plates on the table and turned back to her. He dug under the blanket until he found a foot and gently tugged it into his lap. “Lay back and close your eyes,” he ordered.
His thumbs pressed into her instep, and she tried to pull her foot away. It hurt, but only for the first minute. She settled into the sheer bliss his hands brought.
Muscles she didn’t even know were tight, loosened. When he reached for the other, Risa happily shifted to place both feet in his lap. Who knew a foot rub could be relaxing? Not her; she hated her feet being touched. Normally, it tickled too much, but either it was her mood, or Jax’s technique, or both, but this was different.
Her body melted as the stress floated away. Not enough that she thought she’d be able to sleep that night, but enough so that she didn’t feel like a violin string wound too tightly. His hand worked its way up her calf, working out more tense muscles. She wiggled closer, seeking the warmth, the comfort, the thrill of Jax touching her.
Her foot brushed across the bulge in his jeans, and her gaze shot to his. Jax’s hands stilled for a split second. She heard the indrawn breath before his massage continued.
Ever the good guy, always doing what was right.
She crawled out of her blanket and climbed up into Jax’s lap until their hearts lined up and she could feel the rise and fall of his chest under hers. She wanted, no, needed to be reminded of the good things. To feel alive. To forget, even if it was only for a few hours, the heartbreaking moments when she waited for the doctors.
Jax’s hands skimmed down her backside, and she slipped hers into his hair, short and silky. She kissed him. His arms were strong and warm and pressed her body into his, affirming his need for her, and their kisses changed from soft and sweet to hard and demanding. This was all she wanted; the raw passion that took her breath away and left her heart shuddering.
She pushed up on her forearms and pulled herself forward, dragging her body against Jax. Hard—deliriously hard—perfect muscles slid against her soft form. She cupped his face and kissed him again. She loved the feel of his five o’clock shadow under her palms and the clean smell of sunshine and Jax.
“You should be resting,” he murmured against her mouth.
“Maybe you should carry me to bed and make sure I stay there.” She nipped his lower lip before pulling back and smiling. She tugged her scrub shirt off—she’d forgotten she was in her work clothes. Well, not for much longer. “Although I can’t promise we’ll get much rest.”
Jax sat up and swung his feet to the ground, never losing his hold on her. Risa moved to get off his lap, and he shook his head and stood with her still in his arms. Instinct kicked in and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bedroom. He kissed the sweet spot just above her collarbone, and she arched back to give him better access. She unwrapped her legs and stood before him. His hands were hot on her skin, burning her alive with need.
She tugged on his navy blue T-shirt until it was free and pushed it up. When her hands got in her way, Jax stepped back and pulled the shirt over his head. At least they were even, but she wanted all of him against her, to feel every inch of his bare skin against hers. Jax unhooked her bra before he laid her gently on the bed and tugged off her bottoms as he stood back up. With deft motions, he had his boots off, followed by his pants.
Oh, man, he went commando.
He crawled his way up her body, kissing various spots until they were eye-to-eye, and he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her against him. Those hot, clever hands of his were everywhere, and she shuddered under his caress.
It felt so right being in Jax’s arms. Her heart gave a little hiccup, and she shoved the thought away. Now wasn’t the time to analyze what any of this meant. He was here. She was there and they were naked. It was time for action. Except her mind wouldn’t shut the bloody hell up. It kept whispering that four-letter word.
“Shut up,” she cried as she pressed a kiss to his neck.
“What?” Jax lifted his head and looked at her through heavy-lidded eyes.
“Not you. You just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“Yes, ma’am.” She could hear the smile in his voice, but that just added fuel to her brain’s engine as it chanted the word over and over: love, love, love.
He teased and kissed the corner of her mouth, her jawline, nibbling on her ear before lingering on the soft spot below. He trailed more kisses down her neck, taking his sweet, torturous time. His hands glided over her body, caressing, kneading, exploring.
She couldn’t deny being with Jax was like coming home. It simply felt right. He rained kisses down her body, and she grabbed the bed sheets to keep from squirming right over the side when he slid his tongue over her.
The man definitely wasn’t in a hurry. Then again, was he ever? Not when it came to the pleasures of life, or so it seemed. Risa didn’t mind. What woman in her right mind would complain when they were the sole center of attention, especially when it was administered with such care and lo— No, she refused to let her hopeful heart go there.
Just because Jax came to her rescue when she called, or spent an entire night in a tree to keep her safe, didn’t mean anything. Just because he gave up his weekend to set her house to rights, or got up in the middle of the night to help feed the goats, didn’t mean anything. Just because he showed up at the hospital, sat with her while she cried, and then brought her home and took care of her, didn’t mean anything.
It didn’t mean he loved her.
But she was pretty sure she loved him.
What she felt with Jax was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. It was the missing ingredient in her other relationships. It was that thing, the spark, the chemistry, the unexplainable happiness she’d always sought.
She opened her eyes to find him gazing down at her.
“Based on that smile, I must be doing something right.”
Her heart swelled with emotion, tears fought to release, and all she could do was nod. The words were there, on the tip of her tongue, just waiting to trip off and expose her biggest secret to him.
She wasn’t ready.
He wasn’t ready.
They had too much going on in their lives. Saying those words, they’d complicate things, and given the day’s events he’d probably chalk it up to stress.
So she held the words in and reached up to pull him down to her. Instead of telling him how she felt and what he’d come to mean to her, she showed him.
They came together as easily as longtime lovers, their movements unhurried and languid, breathing in sync. They’d been together before, but this was different. Gentle, loving, and completely erotic at the same time. Jax murmured sweet words and kissed her until she was panting for air. The slow, steady rhythm changed, as if the gates of passion had burst open and claimed them. Jax kissed her right as the climax exploded inside of her, with him following.
He collapsed and rolled to keep from crushing her, never letting her go.
“Risa, my sweet,” he whispered before kissing her.
No, loving Jax physically wasn’t a problem. She didn’t know if loving him emotionally would prove to be as easy.