CHAPTER 11
Cash crossed the length of his trailer in three steps. Three steps later he was back where he’d started. He peered through the window. Kate’s trailer was dark. Where was she? Cheyenne had dropped her off hours ago. Had they gone out again and he hadn’t noticed? Maybe they’d gone into town to go dancing at the Trading Post.
But it was a Monday night. Even he knew no one hit the Trading Post on a Monday.
He shouldn’t worry. Kate was a grown woman. Twenty-four to his thirty, but old on the inside. She’d lived a fairly quiet life, considering her super-star status. Hadn’t exploited the club scene the way some of her contemporaries had. Every instinct inside him screamed that something wasn’t right.
The clock on the stove read eleven p.m. Even if she’d gone to the Trading Post, she should have been home by now. Grabbing his coat, and jamming on his Stetson, he stepped outside. Thirty feet tops separated their trailers. He hopped up the steps and rapped on the door. “Kate?”
Twenty-seconds. Forty. Fear gnawed at him.
“Kate?” He rapped more insistently.
Foreboding slithered ice-cold, down his spine. He tried the door, and it fell open. Immediately alert, he slipped into the space, scanning for trouble. What he wouldn’t give for a pair of night-vision goggles right now. He could make out her guitar, lying on the table. She’d been here then, and must have left in a rush, because she always put away her guitar.
Sliding along the wall, he silently pushed open the screen to her bedroom. Empty. He didn’t know whether to feel relieved or even more worried. Where in the hell was she? Just to make sure, he quietly moved to the other end of the trailer, checking the shower, although it had been clear to him her place was empty. Buildings occupied by the enemy felt… ominous. His thoughts briefly drifted back to a deserted building on the other side of the world that ended up not so deserted. Grim determination filled him. Never again.
Cash made a quick list.
Kate could be with Cheyenne. If that was the case, he’d just have to wait until she returned.
She could be on a walk. Sometimes he heard her slip out for a late-night wander, but she always returned after about thirty minutes, and tonight he’d been waiting for her far longer.
She wasn’t in the main house, Travis and Elaine turned in fairly early.
He snapped his fingers. The barn. He hadn’t seen her when he’d put up Samson for the night, but he hadn’t been looking for her either. And lord knew how many nights he’d spent in the comforting quiet of the barn chasing sleep. Slipping back outside, he broke into a jog, not wanting to waste a second. If she wasn’t in the barn, he’d alert Travis.
His feet hit the gravel and he skidded, but regained his purchase. He paused at the barn door to catch his breath, then hauled the heavy door back, sliding into stealth mode as he entered. “Kate?” he called softly. He cleared the tack room, then started with the stalls, quickly moving through the space. “Kate? You here?”
His only answer was the shuffling and chuffing of the horses. Giving Samson a scratch on the forehead, he continued his search. And then he heard it – a quiet snuffle coming from the loft. If he hadn’t been alert, he’d have passed it off as a horse sound. His heart jammed up into his throat. Was she crying?
Scrambling up the ladder, he paused just below the ceiling, training kicking in. Someone was definitely up there. He didn’t hear signs of a struggle. Only quiet sniffles. Slowly he peeped over the edge, scanning for signs of trouble, eyes coming to rest on a blanket covered body, shaking and bathed in moonlight.
Cash’s heart cracked wide open as he rushed to her, protective instincts taking over. He dropped to his knees, pulling on her shoulder, rolling her off her side and lifting her up to slide in behind her so he could hold her on his lap. “Oh, hon. Talk to me. What is it? What’s got you so upset?”
Kate turned her head to him, clutching his coat and letting out a wail that made his eyes wet.
Oh God, what had happened? Was it her family? Had someone died? Was she dying? He went cold at the thought. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” He rocked her, letting her sob, his chest aching at the pain in her voice. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He’d endured far too many nights on his own, despairing and wrestling with demons to let anyone, especially Kate, go it alone.
He settled her more comfortably in his lap and leaned against the hay bales, talking and stroking her back until her sobs subsided to intermittent sniffs. What had broken her? If it was fixable, he’d figure out how to make it better.
By the time she raised her head, the moon had moved out of his line of sight. Bringing her hand to his cheek, she let out a shuddering sigh. “Cash.”
His name on her lips was the sweetest music. Promise and possibility. Desire and sweet heat all wrapped into a husky lilt. And her eyes. No one had ever looked at him with that kind of intensity. Raw vulnerability and determination lasering right to his soul.
“What is it? What happened?” he whispered, his voice a husk. “Talk to me.”
Her answer was everything he expected and at the same time, a total surprise. He saw it coming as if in slow motion but was powerless to stop it, not that he wanted to. He’d waited his whole life for this moment. Her lips against his were tentative at first, as if she were waiting for him to stop her. Or take over. Everything in him stilled, expectation pounding in his veins. It would be so easy to press her into the hay and ravish her in the manner he’d imagined. Lick her and suck her, caress her to heights until she cried his name in ecstasy.
But as her mouth moved more insistently, she pulled him under her spell, and he tightened his embrace with a groan, giving in to her lead, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth. She tasted like sunshine and sugar. She shifted, straddling his lap, deepening their kiss, pulling him closer. Her essence seeped into the cracks of his soul like healing ointment, and fire grew in his veins, stiffening his cock as she rocked against him.
He stroked down her back, grabbing her ass, squeezing her lush curves, and notching her right against his erection straining against his zipper. God, he wanted to be inside her, to lose himself in her.
But no… his damned conscience chastised. Not like this. He couldn’t take advantage of her like this when she was vulnerable and clearly broken up about something. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss, pulling away, breathing harshly.
Her eyes had grown wild. Lust-crazed. She pressed herself against him, rocking against his dick, tongue flicking along the inside of his lip, begging for more. Fuck, he was only human, and she was so goddamned gorgeous and sweet. Her sweetness shattered him. He craved it like a man in the desert starved for water. With a low growl, he took over, plundering her mouth, dying a little as she met him halfway, hands slipping under his coat and pulling his shirt from his jeans.
Her kisses were heady. Intoxicating. He pulled on her shirt, seeking the softness beneath, and was rewarded with the sweetest sigh when he found it. He skated his fingers across her ribs, to the swell of her breast, seeking and finding a nipple, caressing and pulling it into a tight peak beneath the silky fabric of her bra. Her head dropped back. “Yessss,” she hissed softly. “I’ve waited so long for this.”
Her words acted like an ice bath. In an instant, a flood of memories chilled his veins. He couldn’t do that. For both their sakes. She’d only get hurt, and he’d be powerless to help her. He set her off his lap. “We. Can’t. I’m sorry,” he murmured, unable to look at her for fear of what he’d see in her eyes. “I’d only hurt you. And you’re too sweet.”
“But, Cash–”
He shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his face, chest burning. “You don’t know what you’re asking. People always end up hurt around me. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He brushed a final kiss on her temple and scrambled out of the loft as fast as he could.
By the time he reached the trailer, he’d broken out in a cold sweat. What had he been thinking? He was too messed up for her. It was only a matter of time before he froze again, and next time it might cost her life. And he couldn’t live with himself if he hurt a sweet thing like Kate.