CHAPTER 8
Cash practically jogged away from the trailer, setting out for the main house. What had he been thinking? He’d been mesmerized by those magic green eyes, that’s what. He hadn’t meant to scare her. He’d been as surprised by his touch as she had. And the way she looked when she answered the door… he’d been entirely unprepared for the effect she had on him. Sweet and sexy and utterly kissable, all bundled up in her oversized terrycloth bathrobe and fuzzy socks, hair in tousled waves.
But he couldn’t go there with her. Not ever. At some point, she’d put two and two together and figure out that he’d failed her once before. And he couldn’t bear to see how her eyes would condemn him when the ugly truth came out. No, he’d just have to keep a tight rein on himself. Besides, he was here at the ranch to work. Ultimately to help others struggling with the same things he did. Kissing would be a distraction.
He closed his eyes as the thought of that lovely distraction settled with an ache deep in his balls. It had been so long since he’d felt any kind of affection for a woman, let alone desire. He couldn’t let Kaycee awaken those long-dead places. It might be torture, but he’d survived worse.
Elaine met him on the porch of the main house. “Morning,” she said brightly, looking relaxed and happy.
Cash’s heart gave a lurch as he thought about what Kaycee might look like after an obvious night of bedding.
“Sterling and Travis are out in the far north pasture pulling stumps and repairing fences. They said for you to join them.”
“Great. Is there anything you need me to do here before I go?”
“Nah. Kate will help me after she exercises the other horses.”
So she helped with domestic stuff too? That made no sense. If the queen of country had lost her voice and was convalescing, why work? Why not convalesce at a spa in Desert Springs, or wherever fancy people went for R&R? There must be something else going on.
“See you for supper, then.” Cash turned and headed for the barn. Halfway there, he stopped in his tracks. Was there another stalker? That would explain the name change and the dark hair. Dread pooled in his stomach. If that was the case, then chances were Travis already knew, and the less he said about it, the better. Travis must be keeping that intel on a need to know status. In which case, he didn’t need to know. But he’d be on his guard. He damned well wasn’t going to let Kaycee down a second time.
By the time the men returned for dinner Cash had worked himself into a good place. Travis was right, sweat labor did wonders for the mind. Held the demons at bay. Today his hands hadn’t shaken once.
“Join us for dinner?” Travis asked everyone.
“No thanks, my parents are expecting me,” said Sterling.
Travis looked at Cash expectantly.
He’d put them off the night before, and Elaine’s cooking was better than his own. They’d ask questions if he refused again. “Sure, thanks.”
“Leave Samson tied up here. Kate will tend to him.”
Cash shook his head. “Nope. I’ll get him settled and be in.” Travis didn’t understand his attachment to the horse, but caring for Samson grounded him in a way nothing else did. Samson seemed to sense when he was at the breaking point. Cash couldn’t explain it, but it was like the horse knew his struggles. As he entered the barn, he heard the scrape of the shovel at the end of the aisle. His pulse kicked up. “Kate?”
Her head popped out of a stall, and she waved, giving him an easy smile. Warmth bloomed in his chest as he turned to loop Samson’s reins around a post. “Good day today?” He called out before remembering there would be no answer. “Just give me one thump for yes, two for no,” he amended.
Her answering thump brought a smile to his face.
“Me, too.” He began to comb Samson, working out the mud from his coat. “We were up in the far north pasture pulling stumps and fixing the fences. Did Elaine tell you we’re planning to bring in Longhorns later in the year?”
Thump, thump.
“Once we get the foreman’s house and the rancher’s quarters built, and we raise some money, that’s the plan.” He liked the plan. And today had been the first time he’d seen himself staying long-term. “Sounds nice, doesn’t it?”
She didn’t answer right away, but then gave a quiet thump, as if somehow thinking about the future made her sad.
The words came out before he could stop them. “Does thinking about that make you sad?” A quieter thump followed a much longer pause. Giving Samson a pat, Cash walked down the aisle, stopping at the empty stall Kaycee was filling with fresh hay. “Hey,” he said gently, bracing an arm on the post. Her hair fell in front of her face, like a curtain. “Look at me, Kate.”
The grief in her luminous eyes punched him in the gut, and the urge to go to her overwhelmed him. Before he could stop himself, he spoke. “You look like you could use a hug.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and he instantly regretted his words. Fuck, he hadn’t meant to scare her. She just looked so alone. But before he could backpedal, she melted into him, burying her face against his chest, shoulders shaking. He brought a hand to her hair, marveling at its softness. She was so fragile. And his own heart twisted painfully at her tears. He hated seeing her this way. “Hey now. Wanna talk about it?”
She made a funny little noise and shook her head. Poor thing. How could he ease her pain? He didn’t know what else to do, so he held her close, tucked under his chin, and murmured to her the way he did when he’d first gotten to know Samson until the tears subsided. At last, she gave a little shudder and raised her head.
Kate was painfully beautiful, eyes red and puffy, cheeks shiny and wet. Moving instinctually, he wiped her tears from her cheeks with this thumbs before pulling her close again. “If you wanna talk, or write, I’m here.” He couldn’t offer much, but he could at least be a friend.
She tilted her face, mouthing thank you. The urge to kiss her shot through him with the kick of a grenade launcher. He stepped back, heart pounding painfully. No matter how sweet and kissable she seemed, kissing Kaycee was out of the question. “How about I help you finish the chores?” he asked when he found his voice again.
He’d have to content himself with her smile. Being in this sweet woman’s presence would have to be enough. It was all he deserved. As they quietly worked their way through the chores, Cash’s brain tumbled. The woman in front of him was the furthest thing from Kaycee Starr. Kaycee had an entourage. Big hair and an even bigger persona. Kate was astonishingly, surprisingly… human.
It surprised him too, how quickly they slipped into a daily routine, morning coffee and a shared walk to the main house, then shared chores in the evening. He half expected her to shoo him out of the barn every night, but she never did. Maybe she liked his company? He liked hers, and not just because she was quiet. He’d never been much of a talker, something his ex-wife had repeatedly harped on him for. But he relaxed around Kate in a way he never had with anyone else and found he didn’t mind carrying the conversation.
“So Kate,” Cash called one evening from the stall he was mucking. “You like cards?”
A thump came from the other end of the barn.
“You like poker?”
Thump, thump.
“Go Fish?”
THUMP, THUMP.
A laugh rumbled through him. “Okay, okay, I get it loud and clear. You hate Go Fish.” He pushed the wheelbarrow out of the barn, dumping the contents on the manure pile, and returned, filling a cart with clean hay. Curiosity got the better of him. “So no poker or Go Fish. What’s your game?”
Thump,thump,thump,thump.
“Yeah, I know, no open-ended questions from across the barn.” Damn, it felt good to laugh. “Just think about it.”
She stepped out of a stall, holding her hands in a heart. For a moment he forgot to breathe. Her ponytail had come loose, and little bits of hay stuck out in places. Her eyes sparkled with silent laughter. When he found his voice, it came out too gritty. “Hearts, huh? Can’t play that with two people.” At least not with cards. His heart was becoming dangerously involved, and he couldn’t seem to avoid it, no matter how hard he tried. “Ever play rummy?”
A wicked gleam entered her eye as she gave him a mercenary smile.
Jesus, she was hot when her confidence showed. A familiar ache returned to his balls. He cleared his throat. “I take it you’re familiar with the game?”
She popped her eyebrows high.
“Oh, so you’re an expert, huh?”
Her look said she was all that and more. “Think you can take me?” He challenged softly, a plan forming in his head as he stepped toward her.
Her eyes lit, and she held her ground.
“That so?” He stood within reach of her, hands itching to touch her. He settled for pulling the hay from her hair. “We’ll have to play sometime.” He forced himself to turn around and return to his chores, but he didn’t miss the flash of disappointment in her eyes when he stepped back. Did she feel it too? This pull? The urge to spend more time together?
He’d be a fool to pursue it. Nothing good would come from acting on his impulses. No matter how strongly they called to him. But still…