Chapter Seventeen
Sending the letter filled Jasper with a desperate need to see Julia, and reassure himself that he wasn’t being a complete fool. There was something real between them. He just needed to show it to her. He’d set for the stables on Nora’s advice when he saw Julia cutting across the grass toward the lake. He covered the last bit of distance at a run.
When she saw him, she stopped and waited for him to catch up. In that moment, it didn’t matter what the queen said or who might see them. He kissed her, in the open air, where anyone could pass by. It was gentle, but they were both breathing heavily when they came up for air.
“I was looking for you,” he said softly.
“You found me.” She sounded tired, and she leaned into him, taking his hand. “Can we go somewhere? Somewhere quiet, where no one will find us?”
Jasper would like nothing more. “There’s a place I saw, not far off. A bunch of boulders around a tree.”
Julia nodded. “I know it.”
He took her hand, and they walked. Jasper set a slow pace so she could find her footing.
“Which do you like better, London or the country?”
Julia smiled. “I don’t know. I’ve only ever been to London a few times. I love the bustle of it, but I couldn’t say for sure if I’d like living in it all the time.”
They reached the secluded spot at the base of the hill and the lake. The boulders were waist-high and the entire view of the lake, with the sun glinting off its surface, stretched out before them. When he first saw it, he’d imagined stretching Julia out across the boulder tops and bringing her to climax while the sun set around them.
“I want to spend the next few hours not thinking about anything at all.” She stared out over the lake with a sigh. “Can we do that?”
“Talking first, then passion.” He said it mostly to himself. It was a good precedent for them to set, otherwise they might go days without ever speaking to each other.
Julia looked around, over her shoulder. “Is passion on the menu? Because that seems like an excellent diversion.”
“It always is. I just don’t want either of us to regret anything.”
She nodded, looking back to the water. “I do want to be open with you, Jasper, but it’s not easy for me to trust.”
“Whatever you need from me, it’s yours.”
“In that case.” She looked down at her feet, then back up at him. “Will you help me forget?”
He was confused. “About?”
“Everything.”
There was a challenge in her eyes that set his blood on fire. There was something about her that made the devil in him stretch out and unfurl. It was something he’d never expected to find in someone he could imagine himself marrying.
That was the beauty of Julia. She was sinner and saint, all at once.
He spun her around, catching her by the waist so she wouldn’t fall. He pressed her back to his chest and placed his lips against her ear. “Oh, I certainly can. Are you paying attention?”
He knew she was. Her lips had parted in a gasp, and she was leaning into him. Jasper began by raining kisses and bites down on her neck while his fingers went to work on the buttons of her riding jacket. Julia angled her neck, silently asking him for more. No one could ever be more perfect.
The jacket peeled free of her shoulders and fell to the grass. His fingers went to the buttons of her shirt, making quick work. The white silk dropped to the ground. When he started undoing the fasteners of her skirt, he felt her tense.
“Don’t worry. I won’t go too far.”
The burgundy velvet slipped free, landing in a pool around her feet. Jasper ran his hands over her shoulders, pushing off the straps of her corset and shift. He felt her pulse racing beneath her skin. His palms dragged down her arms, across the flat boning where her corset covered her stomach. His lips brushed against her ear again.
“Breathe out.”
She had a dazed expression, and her lips were parted.
Jasper stepped closer, pinning her between his body and the boulder. His hand slipped lower, pressing against the juncture of her legs. “Breathe. Out.”
She exhaled.
Jasper gripped the bottom of the corset and pulled. The thick fabric jerked down, releasing her breasts from its confines. Julia gasped.
“Are you paying attention?” he asked. His palms slid up, covering them. His fingers pinched and pulled her nipples as he cupped the bare skin of her breasts.
“Yes.”
He kissed her neck. Paid homage to the curve of her shoulder.
“Jasper.”
His fingers circled her wrist. He laid her palm out flat on the boulder top, covering it with his. Their fingers wove together. His other hand returned to her thighs, found its way through the break in the fabric there, and began stroking her with wicked purpose. He rocked against her, pressing the heel of his hand in time with the press of his hips.
Julia moved against him until everything took up the pulsing rhythm he set. Her heartbeat. Her breath. Even the lapping of the waves on the lake. She let her neck go slack, dropping her head down and closed her eyes.
Jasper’s teeth scraped her shoulder. He wanted her there with him, feeling everything. He wanted her to get swept up and overwhelmed. In front of them, the water of the lake shifted and shimmered in the sun. A groundskeeper walked out toward the boathouse, laying rope and tools beside it.
“Jasper.”
The second syllable cracked as he altered the curve of his fingers. “Hm?”
“There’s someone. A groom. At the boathouse.” Her words broke off into a moan. Her knuckles went white as she gripped the rock and tried again. “If he looks over here, he’ll…”
Jasper didn’t stop. He didn’t even slow down. His lips touched her neck. He murmured “Then you should be very quiet.”
“I—”
The pace sped up. He curved his fingers, working them into her in a quick, shallow staccato. “Can you, love? Can you stay quiet?”
He felt her react to the game. Felt the shiver run through her, and her hips move faster as the thought of being discovered inspired her to new heights. A cry broke from her throat.
“I don’t think you can,” he told her. “I don’t think you want to.”
Wicked man. He was made for her.
She was made for him, too. No matter what anyone thought or said. It was time she showed him how much he belonged to her. Julia reached back, putting her hand between them. She stroked the rigid length of him, squeezing. “Can you stay quiet?”
He swore, grabbing her hand and trapping it with the other on top of the boulder. She pushed back against him with her hips. Her curves, his angles. Julia felt depraved, and for once she’d earned it.
She threw her head back, face pressed against his they rocked together, his body curved around hers. “Do you touch yourself, Jasper? Do you think of me when you do?”
The sound he made was agony.
It was hers, and she loved it.
“Show me.” She threw his words back at him with a laugh, feeling every bit the temptress. This was what he liked. He needed her to see him, feel him, want him. Needed her smooth hands wrapped around the length of him. Julia needed it, too.
Jasper put his back to the rock and undid the buttons of his jacket. She moved to watch, trapping her lower lip between her teeth to keep from going to him. His jacket shrugged off and he pulled his shirt from his trousers.
Julia moved close, flattening her palms against his abdomen. She traced her finger along the edge of his waistband. “Do you take your time?”
“No,” he answered honestly.
“Well, I’m going to.” With deliberate leisure, Julia undid the first button on his trousers. “Take off your shirt.”
Jasper pulled his cravat from his collar. She popped the second button loose. He unfastened the buttons of his shirt in double time. Julia leaned forward and pressed her lips to the column of his throat as the skin was revealed. Her tongue flicked out.
“Is this how you think of me? Is this what you imagine me doing?” Her palm slipped into his pants, between fabric and flesh, and caressed the length of him.
“I—” It came out as a groan.
She explored the textures of him with curious fingertips. So smooth, and yet so rigid. Her hand closed over him. “Is this what you do? Is this what you think about?”
His hips pushed forward against her hand in answer.
“Show me. Show me what you do.”
Jasper’s hand wrapped around hers. He thrust a slow rhythm and showed her what he liked. “Julia.”
She kissed him, cutting off his gasp.
They moved together while she learned the secrets to his body. She’d never been a particularly diligent student, but this was a subject to which she could certainly apply herself. Before long he was gripping the edge of the rock, accepting her touch with an expression that was half pleasure, half pain. “You’re killing me. Keep going.”
She’d do more than continue. She’d up the stakes.
“This isn’t the only thing you think about, is it?” Julia kissed his chest. Her teeth scraped a line across his skin. “Do you think about my mouth? What if I wrapped my lips around you right now? Right here?”
It was the right thing to say. Jasper groaned and went over the edge, shuddering into her hands. Julia couldn’t help but feel immensely pleased with herself.
Until Jasper sank down to his knees.
She frowned down at him. “Are you all right?”
“Very.” He took her hips in his hands and pulled her forward. The pressure of his lips against her pelvic bone sent her eyes wide. “You will think about my mouth.”
He parted the fabric of her linen riding pants and tasted her. Julia’s knees buckled and her hands gripped his shoulders. She would never, ever tire of this. If he spent the rest of his life with his tongue buried inside her, it would be enough. Forget titles and families and the bloody ton. This was all she needed.
She buried her hands in his hair and let him work, crying out and not giving a damn who heard. His fingers joined his mouth and together they pushed her up to the limit of what she could bear.
“Jasper. Jasper!” She called out his name as the feeling overtook her in waves.
He caught her, lowering her to the ground.
She blinked up at him from the grass with a lazy smile on her lips. “You’re very good at that.”
“Just with you.”
“Liar.”
It felt like she had died. As if she were no longer attached to her body. She had floated away somewhere into the ether. “Do you think the groundskeeper heard us after all?”
Jasper wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. “Shall we ask him?”
She nudged his chest with her elbow. “Wicked man.”
“Always.”
They couldn’t stay like that forever, but they stayed for a while. When it was time to go back, Jasper helped her dress. Julia did her best to hinder him getting dressed. Eventually, though, it couldn’t be helped. They had to go back or they would be missed. Julia was tempted to stay, just so Ruby could be the one to find them.
Instead, they were met in the hall by an extremely irate Nora. One look at the maid’s face and Julia knew what was wrong. “I lost track of time.”
“Oh, well then, I’m sure that will make everything all right.” Nora started pushing her toward her bedroom.
Jasper kept stride with them. “Is something wrong?”
“I haven’t kept my schedule for the day. Everything will be fine.”
“You hope,” Nora grumbled.
“Do you want me to—”
“No! No. It’s fine. I’ll be down in a bit. You go on.” She smiled at him and he smiled back. For a moment, they were right back against that rock—until Nora shoved her through the bedroom door and the moment was gone.
Nora handed her the chamber pot before putting water on the fire to heat. While Julia saw to the most pressing task, the maid kept up a steady stream of griping. “Didn’t get a proper night’s sleep. Haven’t been eating nearly enough. Then you run off for hours on end with that rogue.”
“He’s a duke. I don’t think they can be rogues.”
“Of course they can. That one’s the worst of the lot.” Nora spirited the chamber pot away and came back to press a hand to Julia’s forehead.
“Please, Nora. I don’t have…”
All color leached out of the maid’s face.
“…a fever. No. Nora, I can’t.”
There was no mistaking the fear creeping in to Nora’s eyes. “I’ll undo your buttons, and have Lord Nicholas call the doctor.”
“Maybe I’m just warm,” Julia pleaded. She’d certainly done plenty to warrant an uncharacteristic flush.
“Maybe so. If you are, the doctor will say so, and I’ll only have one or two new gray hairs to pluck out.”
By the time Nora came back from alerting Nicholas and Amelia, Julia knew she wasn’t going to be that lucky. The dry, warm feeling had intensified and muscle aches were beginning in her lower back. Within hours, she was shivering and sweating, unable to keep her eyes open. Someone brought her water. Pressed cold cloths to her head. Every once in a while, they tried to make her eat, but then the violent retching would begin.
They were whispering, out on the edges of her comprehension. Worried words. Words of fear.
It was a kidney infection. She’d had them before. It was nothing to worry about.
Julia rolled over, clutching a pillow to her chest. Violent chills shook her body. Unseen hands piled blankets on top of her. Stuffed hot rocks under her sheets. Mia’s warm shape crawled in beside her.
“If you think this is going to get you out of letting Jasper see your feet, think again.”
Julia laughed, but it was a weak chuckle that had no sound. “If I die, do I still have to?”
“Yes, but there will be no dying.”
“If you insist.”
“I do.”
She drifted in and out for a while after that. At some point, she kicked off all the covers, suddenly too warm and sweating profusely, and Mia left her side. Then later, someone held her hand, and she didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was Jasper. He had the best way of touching her. Even now, when she felt wretched, the soft pressure of his thumb kneading against her palm felt like heaven.
“Impatient man. I said I would be down in a bit.”
His hand closed around hers, squeezing. When he spoke, his voice was thick. “You know how I hate to wait for anyone.”
She smiled. “Too bad.”
His lips pressed against her knuckles. “Did they tell you what the doctor said?”
Julia didn’t answer. She knew what the risks were, but she was too exhausted to want to waste words on that. Instead, she rolled onto her side, bringing their joined hands up to her cheek. “Tell me something nice.”
“Something nice?”
Julia nodded, eyes closed. “Something that has nothing to do with doctors or fevers or fluids.”
He shifted, running his fingers through the hair at her temples and the nape of her neck. Heaven. “When I was a boy, I once put a giant toad in Ruby’s chamber pot. Somehow, it stayed in there until she pulled the pot from under her bed, and then it leapt out and startled her half to death.”
Imagining Ruby’s face made the mattress shake with her laughter. “That’s not nice.”
“Well then, how about this?” He leaned in close, so only she could hear. “I love you, Julia Bishop.”
Love. Not want. Not need. Love.
“Jasper, you can’t—” The chills started again, and suddenly it was too much, trying to care why they weren’t supposed to be in love with each other. He made her happy, even when everything else was miserable. To hell with what they couldn’t do. “I love you, too.”
She felt his exhale of relief across her cheek, and it made her smile. He hadn’t been sure she loved him back.
“Will you stay?” she asked.
“As long as you’ll let me.”
Julia drifted off to sleep to the feeling of his fingers combing through her hair.