One Month Ago

“Sadie, I’ve got you a date for Saturday,” my grandma exclaimed dramatically as soon as I answered the phone.

“Hello, Grandma Louise, and no thank you.” I sighed into the phone in exasperation. “I have no time for a date on Saturday.”

“Sadie Johnson, I’ve gone out of my way to get you this date, so you don’t wind up . . .”

“Alone and childless, I know, I know.” I groaned into the phone. “Grandma, I’m twenty-eight, I’ve got plenty of time.”

“That’s what you young ladies think nowadays. In my day, if you weren’t betrothed by seventeen, there was a problem.”

“Grandma, I thought you and Grandpops met when you were twenty-two?”

“Well, you know . . .” her voice trailed off. “Anyways, my best friend Addie set it up. You’ll be going on a date with one of her grandsons.”

“Addie?” I said in a confused voice. “Who’s Addie? I’ve never even heard of her before.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten my best friend Addie?” Grandma sounded appalled and mumbled on about something else, but I was no longer paying attention because the kids from downstairs were throwing water balloons through my open kitchen window.

“I’ve never heard of her before, Grandma.”

“Well you must have forgotten. Anyway, her grandson Dante Vanderbilt is a very eligible bachelor. And quite the looker as well.”

“Grandma Louise, I’m not interested.” I sighed. “If he’s so great, why is he single?”

“You know someone could say that about you as well, Sadie.” Her voice was stern. “Now, one little date is not going to hurt you, is it?”

“Grandma, we’ll talk later. I have to go.” I hung up the phone quickly before she could protest and spend the next thirty minutes trying to guilt me into going on the date with this random guy like some loser. “Brandon, Dylan, and Brody,” I screamed as I ran to the window and looked down to the garden. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” Brody’s muddy face gazed up at me innocently, his bright blue eyes gleaming, as he held a red balloon in his wet hand. His little five-year-old face was adorable, but I was no longer deceived by his childish wiles. He was a terror through and through, along with his brothers.

“You know what,” I growled and shook my head at him. “I’m coming down to talk to your mom.”

“No, we’ll stop,” Dylan exclaimed panicked. He was smart enough to know that getting his mom involved wouldn’t be a good thing. At six years old, he was the oldest of the brothers, but he was definitely not the boss.

“Too late,” I exclaimed as I backed away from the window with a hidden grin. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door to the downstairs apartment so I could speak to the boy’s mom, Cara, who happened to be my best friend. I had no intention of complaining about the boys though; I wanted to bitch about Grandma Louise and my new job instead. I didn’t bother locking the door because we lived in the same house and everyone in the house was welcome in my upstairs apartment. It was a unique housing situation, but one that worked well for us. Cara’s dad had bought the house for her when her childhood boyfriend had left her and their three kids. She rented out the top floor to me and I got a bit of a discount in the rent for babysitting the kids every now and again.

“Cara, where are you?” I said as I walked down the stairs and into her living room. It was full of toys and I trod carefully across the floor, making sure to pay attention to the junk in front of me because I didn’t want to trip up and twist my ankle like I’d done the last time I’d been down there.

“In the kitchen,” she called out and I hurried to the kitchen hoping that she was baking cookies. I was in the mood for chocolate chip cookies and milk or a shot of whiskey. Either one would do. “How’s it going, doll?” She grinned at me as I walked into the room. Her long frizzy red hair was a mess and she had a streak of something on her face, but she looked as happy as ever.

“I’m good,” I said and looked around to see what I could grab to snack on. “But do you know what your brats are up to?” I mumbled before I remembered that I wasn’t going to tell on them. I really was the worst aunt.

“Water balloons?” I nodded, and she groaned as she looked at me. “Oh shit, did they get you with them?”

“Well, they tried,” I said with a small smile. “They threw them through the window and missed me, so I guess I’m the winner.”

“Want a glass of wine?”

“Do you have red?”

“What sort of question is that?” She walked over to the corner of the kitchen and opened a cupboard and before I could blink she was pulling out a bottle of wine. “Merlot good?”

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” I said and I walked over to grab two wine glasses while she opened the bottle. Merlot wasn’t my favorite, but at the end of the day, wine was wine. “So guess what?” I said dramatically as I turned to her.

“Uhm,” she groaned as she shook her head, ever the exasperated mom. “If it has anything to do with Brandon, Dylan, or Brody, I don’t want to know right now.”

“It has nothing to do with them,” I said, already having conveniently forgotten the water balloon incident. “Grandma Louise called me.”

“Oh Lord, what has she done now?” She handed me a glass and grinned widely. She knew Grandma Louise well. “Has she started another sex line or is she selling bingo tickets to her local ladies club?”

“Don’t.” I shook my head as I gulped down a huge sip of wine. Grandma Louise always had some scheme going on and I wasn’t sure if she actually knew what she was doing or not. Last year, she’d gotten the idea to start a party-line with her friends. She claimed she didn’t understand what it meant and thought she was just offering phone calls to military men who were lonely and stationed overseas and just wanted someone to talk to. I asked her why she had a late-night ad on the local TV station if she thought the guys were overseas and then she started talking about how dementia ran in the family. “I still can’t believe she was rigging the weekly bingo sessions by creating winning cards and selling them at a discount to members of the club.”

“I can’t believe people were paying twenty dollars to win a bingo pot of ten dollars.” Cara and I made eye contact and started giggling. “Who knew people wanted to be winners that badly?”

“Apparently Grandma Louise knew.” I shook my head and my voice softened. “Ever since Grandad Fred died five years ago, she’s been doing all sorts of craziness, but I can’t help but love her.”

“So what’s her newest idea?” Cara leaned forward on her white marble island excitedly.

“She’s set me up on a date.” I took another huge gulp of wine and groaned. “Kill me now.”

“Wow, a date?” Cara looked intrigued. “With who.”

“With her new best friend, Addie’s, grandson.”

“At least it’s not her new best friends grandfather. Though maybe you’d have a connection with someone a bit older.”

“Cara.” I glared at her but couldn’t stop myself from agreeing with her. Grandma Louise was a loose cannon. You never knew what craziness she would think up. And men could have kids until they died, so age wouldn’t be a factor if she just wanted me to give her great grandkids. “I’m not dating a grandfather, and I sure as hell don’t want to go on a date with some rando’s grandson. God, I bet he’s a huge loser. Who goes on a date their grandma set up?”

“Uhm . . .” Cara pointed at me and I just made a face at her. “At least you’re getting to go out on dates.” She sighed. “Between the boys, my job, and my dad, I don’t even have time to think.”

“I’m sorry, Cara.” I leaned forward and grabbed her fingers. “You know I’m here to help whenever I can.”

“I know, you’re the best.” Cara nodded. “So do you know what this guy looks like?”

“Nope, but what do most guys that live in their grandma’s basement look like?”

“Does he really live in his grandma’s basement?” Cara’s jaw dropped. “Like some sort of Criminal Minds psycho?”

“Exactly like a Criminal Minds psycho.” I nodded and then laughed slightly. “Well, I don’t know that officially, but you know what I mean.”

“Oh, Sadie.” Cara put her glass down and got back to seasoning her chicken drumsticks. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” I smiled at her. “Want me to make a salad?”

“Please.” She nodded. “Not that those terrors will eat any of it though.” She poured half a bottle of ketchup on the drumsticks. “I’ll be lucky if they eat these. All they ever want is chicken nuggets.”

“Boys!” I exclaimed as I went to the fridge and took out a head of lettuce, some tomatoes, a cucumber, and some carrots.

“So tell me about the new job. How’s it going?”

“Ugh.” I groaned as I placed the produce on the countertop and grabbed a bowl, a cutting board, and a sharp knife. “I swear my boss is Cruella de Vil?”

“Oh?” Cara gave me a curious look. “Do explain.”

“This lady is the most over-the-top, meanest person I’ve ever met.” I pouted. “She also hates all dogs. Like, tell me how you can hate dogs?”

“How do you know she hates dogs?”

“She told me she hates dogs when we saw one walking past the coffee shop the other day.” I rolled my eyes. “She literally pointed out the window, screwed up her nose and said I can’t stand those stinky creatures, can you?”

“What did you say?”

“I just sipped my latte,” I said as I took another gulp of wine. “I can’t afford to tell her the truth. I need this job.”

“So what exactly are you doing for her?” Cara covered the chicken with aluminum foil and started peeling potatoes. “She’s like a millionaire, right?”

“Billionaire.” I sighed. “Well her late husband was a billionaire and now she has all his money. And she wants to invest in art. So she’s hired me to go around to all the museums in New York City and pick out my favorite pieces so that she can bid on them and buy them.”

“What? Are they for sale?”

“Girl, who knows?” I rolled my eyes. “She’s totally oblivious. I mean really?”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like such a hard job.” Cara looked at me hopefully.

“I have to report back to her every other day on pieces I recommend. And list all the reasons why I think they will be a good investment. Like how the hell am I supposed to know?”

“How did you get this job again?”

“I told her I studied Art History.” I made a guilty face and I could feel my face growing red. “And I mean I did take some history classes and I took that one painting class.”

“Oh my God, Sadie.” Cara burst out laughing and she just shook her head. “You don’t know the first thing about art.”

“That’s not true. I know a little bit.” I wrinkled my nose. “And by a little bit, I mean I can identify the Mona Lisa, like ninety-nine percent of the planet.”

“Oh, Sadie,” Cara spoke to me as if I were one of her sons. Completely exasperated, but with love. “You know lying never gets you anywhere.”

“Well, I didn’t really lie and it did get me somewhere. It got me this job.” I grabbed the glass and gulped down what seemed like half of the glass of wine. “And that allows me to pay you rent.”

“Girl, I don’t want you to work a job that you hate just to give me money.” Cara’s face was serious. “Quit and look for something you really want with a nice boss.”

“Girl, I love you, but you have three sons and Christmas is coming up.” I shook my head. “There’s no way, I’m going to be a deadbeat on you right now.”

“You’re not a deadbeat.”

“Shh.” I put my hand up. “We’re not going to have this conversation. I’m still looking for new jobs, but for now, I’ll play the art aficionado.”

“Oh, Sadie.” Cara put her glass down. “I’m so irresponsible. I should not be drinking right now.”

“Sweetie, you need the wine to deal with those brats.” I laughed as I looked around the kitchen. It looked a lot messier than normal and as I paid closer attention to Cara, her appearance seemed to be more frazzled. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” She nodded and then sighed. “Well kinda. You know I love my job.”

“I know and heaven knows why.” I made a face. “Accounting was never my thing.”

“Well, they have me working nights.” She sighed. “We’re auditing a couple of hotels in this chain that is being considered for purchase by some billionaire hotshot and well nights are the only time we can get access to all the files and not be in the way.”

“That sucks.”

“Yes, it does.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’m barely keeping up and I just don’t know what to do with the boys.”

“I’ll babysit anytime, you know that, right?”

“I know, between you and Dad, I’m so blessed. I just feel bad.” She looked away from me and it looked to me like she was blinking furiously; as if she was about to cry.

“Something else is going on. Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her as I walked closer to her. “Cara?”

“I just didn’t think this would be my life.” She gave me a small smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, but I just didn’t think this was where I would be.”

“I know, girl.” I nodded my understanding. “I didn’t think this was where I’d be either.”

“Go on that date with that guy,” she urged me suddenly. “Maybe it will be fun.”

“Really?” I shook my head. “What is going to be fun about a date with some crusty guy my grandma set me up with?”

“Maybe you’ll at least end up with an orgasm for your troubles.” Cara winked at me and I groaned.

“You’re joking, right?” I laughed incredulously. “You think I should have a one-night stand? With a guy I’ve never even seen or met before.”

“What can it hurt?” She grinned widely. “I mean if he has no teeth or is butt-fuck ugly, then no. However, if you think he’s hot, just go for it.”

“Won’t that ruin my chances at having a relationship with him?”

“Do you want a relationship with him?”

“No,” I said adamantly. “I’m in no place to have any sort of relationship right now. Well, if Mr. Right came along, maybe, but I’m almost sure this guy is not Mr. Right.”

“What’s his name?”

“I think Grandma Louise said his name is Dante.”

“Dante.” Sadie nodded excitedly. “Yes, that’s the perfect name for a hot stallion.”

“Hot stallion?”

“Yeah, someone to go wild and crazy with.”

“What’s wild and crazy, Mom?” Dylan’s voice interrupted our conversation and I could feel my face growing red.

“Something you should never be,” Cara said smoothly without skipping a beat as she winked at me. “Now go and get your brothers and clean up. Dinner is nearly ready.”

“Yes, Mom,” Dylan said and went running. “Brandon, Brody, dinner is ready. Mom said to get washed up and come now or no brownies.”

“Brownies?” I asked Cara with a tilt of my head as she just shook hers.

“That’s his way of trying to guilt me into making them brownies.” She rolled her eyes. “Not about to happen, buddy.”

“Oh, ha-ha. Kids.” I giggled.

“Just wait until you have them.” Cara took a deep breath. “You’ll see, they are a handful.”

“Trust me, I already know.” I laughed as I grabbed the wine bottle and poured myself another glass. Dylan, Brandon, and Brody may not have been my biological kids, but sometimes they really seemed like they were.

“Sadie, Sadie is that you?” Grandma Louise’s voice was almost shouting into the phone and I frowned as I listened to the loud sounds of pumping music blaring in the background.

“Yes, Grandma,” I said patiently, knowing she knew exactly who it was. “Where are you?”

“Is that why you called me, Sadie Johnson? To ask where I am?”

“No, Grandma.” I rolled my eyes, knowing she was most probably at a casino with some of her friends. “I’m just jealous that you seem to have more of a life than me.” Which was one hundred percent the truth.

“Well, I am trying to help you get a life,” Grandma Louise said and then she gasped. “Darn it, I needed one more cherry.” Yup, Grandma Louise was playing the slots. Penny slots if I wasn’t mistaken.

“Well, I’m calling to say that I’ll accept that date with Dante on Saturday night.”

“I thought you would. He’s a very good-looking young man,” she said approvingly.

“Well, I’ve never seen him, so hopefully he really is good-looking.”

“Trust me, Sadie, and if Addie is being honest, then he’s quite well-off as well.”

“What do you mean if she’s being honest? I thought she was your best friend?”

“Now, now, Sadie. Don’t start going all Columbo on me.” She paused. “Though that Peter Falk was quite a looker. You’d be so lucky to get a man like him with your attitude. You girls these days . . .”

“I’m going to go now, Grandma Louise,” I said trying to keep my patience. “Just let me know the plan for Saturday and I’ll be there.” Normally I would have just told her to give him my number so that he and I could set it up, but with all the stress I was feeling related to my lack of funds, sucky new job, and love life, I just didn’t want to deal with it. Let them sort it out and I would show up. Maybe it wouldn’t be absolutely horrible. Just maybe.