“I’ll Make Love To You”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said as I paced around my bathroom. It had been three weeks since Carter and I had unprotected sex in the bar, and now my period was late. I bit down on my lower lip and looked at my calendar again. I was only three days late. It’s just a few days. I knew that could be a possibility even though I’d always been on schedule before. “Shit,” I said as I sat down on the toilet seat. I couldn’t believe that I’d been so irresponsible. I knew it took two to tango, and Carter hadn’t seemed concerned about birth control either, but I had a feeling that maybe he had assumed I was on the pill or something. He’d never asked me about what contraception I used and we’d always used a condom before and after that.

Everything the last three weeks had been pretty amazing. In fact, it had been the best three weeks I could remember having ever. We’d spent every night together, and even though we hadn’t always hung out if I had to work late or he had a show, we’d texted throughout the day so I always felt like I knew what he was up to. Danielle was coming back in two days, and he was going to be moving back to his place in Manhattan. I wasn’t sure what that would mean for our nightly sleepovers, but I was confident we would still see each other. We weren’t technically in a relationship as Carter still seemed loathe to make any real sort of commitment. I’d asked if he wanted to take a trip to Hawaii at some point, and he’d kinda changed the subject, but I had understood. He had given his notice at work and this was his last week before he transitioned to becoming a full-time musician. “Fuck,” I said again as I sat there. If I was pregnant, everything would become so much more complicated. I didn’t even know how I would tell him. What would he say? How would he react?

“What you doing?” My phone beeped, and I saw that it was Carter texting. Normally, I was happy to see a text from him, but now he was the last person I wanted to talk to. I looked at the text and decided not to reply. I didn’t want to see him right now. We hadn’t made plans for the day because he wasn’t sure if he had practice with Harley and I was glad for it. I needed to go to Walgreens and grab a pregnancy test or two and figure out what was going on. I jumped up and walked into the bedroom and grabbed my handbag so that I could head to the store. I didn’t want to just sit around and wait for the answer. I needed to know now.

“Hey, you around?” My phone beeped with another message, and I shoved my phone in my handbag after putting it on silent. I didn’t want to deal with him right now. I hurried to my front door and opened it slowly and walked on tippy toes out to the hallway and then closed it as quietly as possible. I walked to the staircase quickly, and then once there I ran down the steps and exited the building. I did not want to see Carter on my way to Walgreens. I didn’t need him tagging along and asking me what I wanted to buy. Once in Walgreens, I hurried to the pregnancy test section and picked up four different boxes. Four different boxes couldn’t all be wrong, I thought to myself and then hurried to the cashier. I could see my phone blinking as I grabbed my wallet, but I ignored it. I hurried back to my apartment and ran up the stairs. I’d had a lot of water to drink that morning, and it was all ready to come out, which was great news for my pregnancy tests. I was feeling pleased with myself until I got to the top of the stairs.

“Oh,” I said as I saw Carter standing there with Frosty on a leash. “Hi.” I offered him a weak smile.

“Hi.” He gave me a suspicious look. “Where have you been? I’ve been texting you all morning.”

“Oh, just running some errands,” I said with a bright smile and tried to hide the Walgreens bag behind my back.

“What errands?” His eyes narrowed.

“This and that.”

“This and that, huh?” He walked toward me. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Lila?”

“What?” I said slowly. “What do you mean?”

“What’s in the bag you’re hiding behind your back?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Nothing.” I could feel my face going red.

“Lila.”

“It’s nothing,” I said and looked down. Why was he pushing this? “Don’t you need to walk Frosty?”

“We just got back,” he said as he shook his head, and then before I knew what was happening he had grabbed the bag from my hand and was opening it up. “What’s this?” He frowned as he pulled one of the pink boxes out. “First Response?” He read out loud, and I wanted to die. “First Response?” His eyes flew to mine and then back to the box. “First Response Pregnancy. Only brand that can tell you six days sooner than your missed period,” he read and then looked me in the eyes again. “What is this?” His blue eyes looked confused for a few seconds, and then something must have dawned on him because his face turned to one of shock and surprise. “Are you pregnant?” He blinked as if the words were foreign to him.

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m taking the test.” I grabbed the box and the bag back from him. “Excuse me, please.”

“You weren’t going to tell me?” He followed me to my front door.

“Tell you what? I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet. I just know my period is late.”

“You sure it’s mine?” he said behind me, and I turned around and gasped at him. He had a wry smile on his face as he put his hands up. “Poor joke, I’m sorry.”

“That’s not even funny, Carter.” I opened the door and walked into the apartment. “Really poor taste.”

“I know, I know.” He followed me in and undid Frosty’s leash as he closed the door behind me. “I would ask how this happened, but I do remember a certain night where we . . .”

“I don’t need you to fill me in, Carter, I was there.” I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m going to go and take the test now,” I said as I headed toward my bedroom. “You can come if you want, but not into the bathroom,” I stammered to add. “Just sit in the bedroom.”

“Okay.” He nodded as he followed me. “I’d been meaning to ask you if you were on the pill or had an IUD or something . . .” His voice trailed off. “I guess the answer is no.”

“The answer is no.” I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. “Idiot,” I whispered under my breath.

“I heard that.” He laughed from the other side of the door and then I heard him singing a Boyz II Men song. “I’ll make love to you, like you want me to.”

“Are you standing right outside?” I asked as I opened the box and took the plastic device out of its foil and hurried to the toilet to pee on it. I really didn’t need to hear his cheerful singing right now. I knew he had to be freaking out inside.

“Yes,” he said, his voice loud. “I wouldn’t mind coming in.”

“Nope,” I shouted and then closed my eyes to pretend he wasn’t there. I peed onto the stick, placed it on the counter, and then flushed the toilet. I opened the door to see Carter standing there with anticipation in his eyes and Frosty spread out on my bed.

“So?” he asked his eyes wide. “Are you pregnant?”

“Carter, I have to wait five minutes before I will know.” I walked over to the bed and stroked the top of Frosty’s head. “And I don’t even know how accurate these things are.”

“That’s why you got four?” he asked and came and sat down next to me. He was acting surprisingly calm given the situation.

“Yeah.” I nodded and stared into his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll see.”

“You think so?” I asked him.

“Yeah, it’s very unlikely you’re pregnant, right? I mean we only had unprotected sex that one time and it was a quickie.” He paused. “I sound stupid right now, don’t I? Like some sort of dumb teenager.”

“You put the words right into my mouth.” I laughed at him. “It doesn’t matter if it was a quickie,” I said. “You can get pregnant rather fast. Those sperm can swim, you know.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “And I’m sure my bad boys are like champion swimmers as well,” he said proudly, and I hit him in the shoulder.

“You really are a fool, Carter Stevens.”

“Sh,” he said and looked toward the bathroom door. “Is it time for you to check yet?”

“Hmm, I guess,” I said and stood up, my heart racing. He stood up behind me, and we walked to the bathroom together. “So one line is not pregnant and two lines is pregnant,” I told him as we walked into the bathroom. “You look, I’m scared to.”

“Okay.” He nodded and picked up the stick. He looked at it for a few seconds before speaking, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “So one line is not pregnant, right?”

“Yes, thank God.” I ran over to him and kissed him on the lips. “Phew, that was a close call.”

“Um,” He looked down at me, his blue eyes dancing. “Two lines means pregnant though, right?”

“Yes, why?”

“Because there are two lines, Lila,” he said, his voice in awe and his eyes wide. “We’re having a baby.”