As Matt came to his senses, he realized the only woman he’d ever really loved was naked and draped across his chest. It felt like a dream, but she was here. He felt the heat of her body on his, her warm breath on his neck.
Anna’s head nestled on his shoulder, and he stole a glance at her face. Her eyes were closed and she looked so thoroughly satiated that his masculine pride grew. A short blond wave was pressed to her forehead and he lifted his hand to brush it away.
Anna shivered and Matt wrapped his arms around her back, trying to keep her warm from the chill of the evening air.
He felt like an idiot. So much time wasted. Why had he never tried to see her side of things?
She stirred and looked up at him with a troubled expression, but it quickly faded, and she reached up and kissed him with such tenderness he felt like he’d been kissed by an angel.
And that was when he knew he was in deep shit. He was stupid to think he could sleep with her and just let her go. He was going to be heartbroken all over again.
“I have to go,” she said softly against his lips.
He couldn’t keep the pain out of his voice when he said, “I know. I knew that going in.” But knowing it and knowing it were two different things.
Her body stiffened slightly and she sat up. “I meant I have to get back to my dad.”
She stood and grabbed her jeans.
“Anna. I’m sorry. I didn’t think…” God, he was an utter idiot. And was even more of an idiot as he drove himself crazy, watching her pull her jeans over her bare thighs and her naked ass. Her ripped panties were over by the hammock.
“It’s okay. It’s true.” She sounded resigned as she fastened the button of her jeans then grabbed her bra, turning her back to him as she slipped it on.
He moved over to her and gently pushed her hands away, taking over the task of fastening the hooks. Her hands fell to her sides, her body tense as he quickly clasped the metal hooks and pressed his chest to her back. She leaned back against him and released a soft moan.
She wanted him again. The growing erection pressed to her back proved he wanted her, too.
His mouth lowered to the curve of her neck. He pressed a trail of hot kisses up to her jaw, then impatient, he spun her around, his mouth capturing hers, hungry to taste her again.
Her hands wrapped around his neck, clinging to him as she kissed him back with an urgency of her own.
But then she stepped back and shook her head, a soft smile curving her lips. “I really have to go.”
Breaking free of his loose hold, she moved over to her shirt, which was lying on the edge of the fire pit, only a foot from having ended up in the flames. “Good thing your aim was off or I might have had trouble explaining to my father where my shirt went.”
She started to put it on, but Matt gently grabbed her forearm and stopped her, looking down into her face. “Tonight with the boys was fun, wasn’t it?” he asked.
She laughed. “I fell asleep.”
“You were exhausted.” He kissed her again. “But before, with the pizza and the boys. It was good.”
“Yeah…”
“So let’s have tomorrow. And as many days as we can before you go.”
Her eyes turned serious. “I want this more than you know, but the deal was only tonight, Matt. I made that very clear.” She shook her head and looked away. “I knew this was a mistake.”
He was scaring her off. “No, Anna. Even if this is the only night I get with you, it’s not a mistake. No regrets.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against his chest, kissing her as though this was his last time to do so. For all he knew, it was. “I’ve been waiting twelve years to touch you again. Kiss you again.” He leaned over and kissed her to prove his point. “If you get back on a plane tomorrow, I won’t have a single regret over this.” Then a new fear hit him. “Do you?”
The emotion in her eyes flickered before she gave him a sad smile. “No.”
He smiled back. “But what happened tonight has nothing to do with my invitation for tomorrow.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s a trip to the dog shelter. With two five-year-old boys. Nothing romantic about it.” When she didn’t disagree with him, he added, “Think how much Toby will love seeing the dogs. And you know he’ll have more fun if you go, too.”
Amusement washed over her face. “You fight just as dirty as you used to.”
You have no idea.
He had to find a way to ease her fears over hurting or confusing her son. Toby and Ethan would miss each other when Anna and Toby left, but he wasn’t going to use it as an excuse to keep the boys apart. It would send the boys the message that it was okay to turn your back on a friend because his friendship had an expiration date. And he definitely wasn’t ready to give up on Anna. He may have agreed to only tonight, but now that he’d held her in his arms again, he wasn’t ready to let her go. Not while he still had time with her.
She stepped back and pulled the T-shirt over her head, then bent down and picked up her shoes, the sole of one of them covered in sticky marshmallow. “Now I really have to go.” But she hesitated, casting a glance toward the house and reminding Matt that she’d never left Toby overnight before.
He reached out for her arm, stroking lightly. “If he’s missing you in the morning, I’ll give you a call straightaway.”
The tension in her shoulders eased. “I need to take Dad to run a few errands. It might be easier if Toby’s not with us.”
“See? It works out.”
She hesitated. “Okay. Thanks.” Opening the back door, she headed into the house.
Matt started to follow her then realized he was stark naked. The boys might be asleep but he would be hard pressed to explain why he was chasing after Anna without any clothes on should one of them wake up.
He jerked on his jeans, leaving the fly and button undone, then scooped up his shirt and walked in the still open back door.
He panicked when he didn’t see her in the living room, and was just about to run out to the driveway when he saw her coming down the hall from the bathroom with her shoes in her hand.
“What?” she asked in a whisper when she saw the panic on his face.
He reached for her and pulled her close. “I thought you left.”
A hesitant smile cracked her lips, and she ran her fingers through her tousled waves. “I figured I shouldn’t go home looking like a teenager slinking through the door after having sex with her boyfriend in the back of his car.”
If he freaked out over the thought of her leaving tonight without saying good-bye, how was he going to handle it when she left for good?
He was pretty sure she was thinking the same thing when her smile faded and tears filled her eyes. “Maybe this really was a mistake.”
His head was suggesting the same thing, but deep down in his gut, he knew that wasn’t true. He needed her and he’d take her for as long as he could get her. “No.” He kissed her again. “You and I were never a mistake.”
* * *
The next morning Anna’s father wanted to know when she was going to pick up Toby, and none of her answers had satisfied him.
She was helping him out of the car in the grocery store parking lot when he said, “You hardly let that boy out of your sight, yet you dropped him off yesterday evening and you’re not getting him until after lunch?”
She was struggling with missing Toby, but she wasn’t about to let her father know. He’d always told her mother that she coddled Anna too much when she was younger, and Anna was much more of a helicopter parent than her laid-back mother had been. She couldn’t bear to hear it from her father right now, especially since things had been so much better between them this week. She shrugged. “It’s Toby’s best friend.”
He leaned on the walker and started shuffling toward the store. “And how many kids did he spend the night with when you were living in London?”
“None, but that’s beside the point. He’s older now.”
“He’s barely five and you’re one of the most high-strung mothers I’ve ever known.”
She tried not to let him see how much his insult hurt her. “He’s almost six, and I have to start cutting the apron strings at some point.”
“Yeah, but I figured that wasn’t going to happen until he was twelve or twenty-one.”
She cast a glance at him and saw his grin. “Okay, so I am a bit of a helicopter mother.”
“Which makes it even more strange that you left the boy last night, and he’s still gone sixteen hours later.”
“His best friend’s uncle happens to be his soccer coach.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
She resisted the urge to groan. “Ethan lives with his uncle.”
“And who’s his uncle?”
“Toby’s soccer coach,” she said, hoping to throw him off.
“And what are you doing this afternoon?”
She sure couldn’t tell him about the tour at the residential place, and she wasn’t sure confessing the rest of her plans was good either, but she refused to lie to him. “Ethan and his uncle are going to look at dogs at the animal shelter and invited us to come along.”
His eyes narrowed as he studied her. “So it’s a date.”
“No,” she said, becoming unnerved when she felt her face get hot. “Matt just thought Toby would like to come and invited me, too.”
Now she had her father’s full attention. “Matt? Matt who?”
Oh, crap. She hadn’t meant to let his name slip. “Dad…”
He shook his head. “You could never pull one over on me when you were a kid and you’re still incapable of it.” He stopped his forward motion and turned to her. “But I’ll let it drop for now.”
Had he figured out that Matt was her Matt? Surely not or he wouldn’t let this go so easily. Her father had never been a huge fan of Matt, but then her father had never been a huge fan of any of her boyfriends. Hell, when she thought about it, he wasn’t a huge fan of anyone.
The shopping trip lasted an hour, with her father exhausted, and half the grocery list was still unpurchased. She tried to get him to use the motorized cart, but he refused, saying it was for invalids. He’d worn himself out and yet still insisted he didn’t need the rest.
Once she got him and the groceries settled in the car, he said, “I changed my mind about the hardware store. I just want to go home.”
“If you tell me what you want, I can run in and get it,” Anna said. “You can wait in the car.”
His head slumped against the passenger window. “No. I just want to go home.”
“Dad, you’re making great progress. The physical therapist said so on Friday.”
“But not fast enough. I’m still using this damn walker instead of a cane. And you’re leaving in a month.”
He knew the stark reality, too. It might make the conversation about moving into a residential care apartment less of a shock, but she doubted it would be any easier.
Tears welled in her eyes. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”
He didn’t answer, so she started the car and headed home.
“I miss your boy,” he said gruffly. “We were supposed to play checkers this afternoon.”
She cringed. How could she have forgotten? She was surprised he actually wanted to play with Toby, but then she wasn’t. Toby had wiggled his way into her father’s heart. “You can play after I bring him home.”
He didn’t answer and she considered canceling the trip to the animal shelter, but then he said, “Don’t you stop that boy from going to see those dogs. He’ll have a lot more fun with them than an old fart like me.”
“He likes being with you, Dad. I love seeing you two together.” Her voice caught and she took a breath. “Thank you.”
He released a grunt. “I don’t want him to go back to England and remember me as an old shit.”
“I’ll do a better job of calling,” she said. “How about I get you a smart phone, and I’ll teach you how to make video calls?”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
When she showed up in Blue Springs a month and a half ago, she thought she’d be chomping at the bit to leave. But leaving was becoming harder by the minute. How was she going to leave her father completely alone?
* * *
Matt wasn’t surprised when he saw Toby watching for Anna in the window. Toby had been excited to find out that he was staying with Ethan until the afternoon, and even more excited to find out that he was going to the animal shelter, but by lunchtime it was obvious he was missing his mother.
Matt could relate, not that he could tell Toby. He’d barely slept last night, alternating between replaying his time with Anna on the patio and trying to figure out a way for her to stay. He could hardly wait to see her again, and he had no idea how he was going to keep his hands off her when she walked in the door.
“When’s my mummy going to be here?” he asked for the third time in a half hour. “How much longer?”
Matt put the lunch plates in the dishwasher and turned it on. “It’s going to be at least another hour. How about we go in the backyard and practice some soccer passes?”
Ethan had tried to cajole Toby out of his sadness, but with each time Toby mentioned missing his mother, Ethan became sadder, too. Ethan walked over to Matt and tugged on his arm.
Matt squatted and looked his nephew in the eyes. “What’s wrong, big guy?”
“I miss my mommy, too.”
Well, shit. He wasn’t sure soccer was going to fix this. He considered taking them to the pet store to get supplies, but Anna hadn’t left Toby’s booster seat.
“Somebody’s here!” Toby shouted, then added, sounding less enthusiastic, “But it’s not Mummy.”
Matt moved to the window and pushed aside the drape. “It’s Grandma.” Thank God. Ethan loved her and hopefully Toby would be intrigued enough to forget about missing his mother for a bit. But he also worried about the reason she was here.
Ethan raced to the front door and out into the yard. Toby followed behind him, but stayed in the doorway.
Matt rested a hand on Toby’s shoulder as they watched Ethan greet his grandmother.
“Grandma! Grandma! Guess what? Toby spent the night!”
Matt’s mother’s eyes widened and a smile spread across her face. “That’s wonderful.” Her gaze shifted to the door as she noticed the boy in front of Matt. “Is that Toby?”
“Yeah!”
“Ethan,” Matt called out to him. “How are you supposed to answer a grown-up?”
“I mean, yes, ma’am.”
She laughed. “You’re becoming quite the gentleman. Will you introduce me to your friend?”
Ethan grabbed her hand and pulled her up the steps. “Grandma, this is my bestest friend in the whole world, Toby. Toby, this is my grandma.” Then he looked up at Matt. “Did I do it right?”
He grinned, pride and love filling his chest. “Yeah, big guy. You were perfect.”
Matt’s mother’s eyes twinkled. “Nice to meet you, Toby,” she said with a huge smile. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”
Toby watched her with wide eyes. “Hi.”
Matt backed up, guiding Toby back into the house as Ethan and his grandmother walked inside.
Ethan grabbed his grandmother’s hand and pulled her toward the sofa, then sat next to her while Matt and Toby moved to the love seat. “Grandma! We had pizza, and Toby likes cheese pizza so we got one for him.”
She beamed at the boy. “Wasn’t that thoughtful of you?”
Ethan’s mouth twisted. “It was Uncle Matt’s idea.”
“Well, then both my boys were thoughtful.” She shot a glance to Matt and he tried to read her face.
“Toby’s mom fell asleep during The Lego Movie!” he said in disbelief. “Can you believe it?”
“I told you that Mummy gets sleepy at night,” Toby said, sounding defensive. “She can’t help it.”
Matt patted Toby’s leg and the boy looked up at him. “It’s true.”
“I know,” Matt said. “Ethan didn’t mean anything bad by it.”
Matt’s mother’s gaze shifted to him. “Toby’s mother spent the evening with you?”
Ethan laughed. “No, Grandma. Toby spent the night, but Miss Anna was gone when we got up this morning.”
“Toby’s mother went home after the boys went to sleep,” Matt added so she didn’t read anything more into it.
“She didn’t need to get home to her father?” his mother asked.
Matt froze. Oh shit. How did she know about Anna’s father?
His mother noticed his reaction then said, “I know Toby’s here while his mother helps her father convalesce. A broken leg, if I remember correctly.”
“Yeah,” Matt murmured, realizing he was looking guilty as hell, although when he thought about it, what was there to feel guilty about?
Ethan tugged on his grandmother’s sleeve. “Toby’s grandpa’s last name is different than Toby’s, just like you and me, Grandma,” Ethan said. “Toby’s last name is Robins and his grandpa’s last name is Fischer.”
“Albert Fischer,” Toby added.
She looked momentarily startled but quickly recovered. “Oh, well, I sure would love to meet your mother sometime.”
“Okay,” Toby said. Suddenly overcome with shyness, he hid his face in Matt’s arm.
Without giving it a second thought, Matt wrapped a comforting arm around the boy.
“I brought you a present,” Matt’s mother said as she reached into her handbag and pulled out a small box.
“Star Wars Legos!” Ethan shouted as he reached for it.
Matt’s mother held it out of his grasp. “I didn’t know Toby would be here or I would have brought two. But I know you’ll be a good friend and share it with him, won’t you?”
“Of course, Grandma. Toby’s my bestest best friend.”
She handed over the box with a smile. “That’s my boy. Why don’t you and Toby take it to your room so I can talk to Uncle Matt.”
“Okay!” Ethan took the box and showed it to Toby. “Look, Uncle Matt!”
Matt glanced down at Toby, who was still plastered to his side. “What do you say, Toby? Want to help Ethan make his Legos spaceship?”
Toby looked up at Matt. “Okay. But if Mummy comes, will you let me know?”
“First thing.”
Ethan ran to Toby and held out the box. “Come on, Toby. I’ll even let you hold it.”
“Okay.”
The boys disappeared down the hall, giving Matt several seconds to prepare himself for the impending interrogation.
“You’re dating Anna Fischer,” she said in a tone he couldn’t read.
What should he tell her? What had happened last night didn’t exactly qualify as dating. “It’s complicated.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.
“Complicated? Either you’re dating her or you’re not.”
He started to answer then pressed his mouth together. The answer was a firm No, we aren’t dating, but he couldn’t stomach saying the words.
“You’ve known Toby’s mother was Anna all along and you didn’t tell me?” his mother asked, sounding hurt.
“No.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I found out about two weeks ago when Anna brought Toby to the first soccer practice. I didn’t tell you because at first I wasn’t happy to see her. At. All. But then…I guess I wanted to be more sure about where we stood before I told you.”
“And do you know where you stand now?”
“Not a clue,” he admitted, trying not to sound dejected.
His mother studied him. “Last Saturday…Anna was the mother who watched Ethan when you came over to my house to check out the alarm.”
“Yeah.”
Her voice softened. “So you’ve forgiven her?”
His eyes found hers. “Anna asked me to meet her for coffee this week so she could explain her side of things, but truth be told, I’d forgiven her before she walked in the door.”
“That seems like a one-eighty.”
He shrugged. “I pulled my head out of my ass and started remembering everything you said when we broke up.”
She chuckled. “Not likely. More like you came face-to-face with her and realized she wasn’t the ogre you painted her to be at the end.”
He was embarrassed over the things he’d said about her in the past, and his mother dredging it up wasn’t helping. “I realized we were young, too young to get married. Anna was right to want to go to England before she settled down.”
She was quiet for a moment. “It can’t be easy seeing Anna with a son. Not after she told you she didn’t want children.”
He swallowed and shifted in his seat. “I admit it was hard at first, but she’s a great mother.”
“She’s a single mother?”
He frowned. “If that’s your way of asking if she’s still married, the answer is no. She was divorced when Toby was a baby.”
“I know you better than that, Matthew Michael Osborn,” she said with a hint of disgust. “I know you would never knowingly have an affair. I was asking if she had him as a single mother.”
He cringed, realizing he was handling this badly. “Shit. Sorry.”
She was silent for several long seconds before she asked, “Isn’t she going back to London?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to go with her?”
His head jerked up, her question catching him by surprise. “I have a business here.”
“Businesses can be bought and sold.”
“But I love my business. It was Dad’s.”
“Do you love it more than Anna?”
He shot out of the seat, becoming frustrated. “That’s not fair, Mom. I haven’t seen her in twelve years.”
“It’s perfectly fair. What else is holding you here, business aside?”
“You.”
“I’ve always wanted to visit London,” she said in a breezy tone.
He turned to look at her. “Ethan.”
Her grin faded and she gave him a slow nod. “He’s the biggest reason, isn’t he?”
“He might not be a reason at all. He’s Abby’s son. Not mine.”
“Abby wants to give you full guardianship. For at least the next three years. Maybe longer.”
He blinked, sure he’d heard her wrong. “What?”
“I spoke to Abby this morning. She’s exhausted and frazzled, and she’s torn between what’s best for Ethan and whether to continue with school.” She paused and tears filled her eyes before she looked down at her lap. “But she knows how good you are with him, and she wants that for him.”
He shook his head in disbelief.
She glanced back up at him. “She’ll come home this summer to be with Ethan, but she’ll go back to school in August and leave him with you. After she graduates…she’s thinking about a surgical residency. Her hours will be just as crazy, if not worse.” She paused. “You need to give this serious consideration, Matt. He could be with you until he’s in high school.”
He sat on the love seat, resting his elbows on his knees as he cradled his head. High school? Was it wrong to want that?
“This is a lot to think about. It’s a huge commitment. Especially in light of Anna showing back up in your life.”
“Yeah…” he mumbled, trying to wrap his head around his sister’s decision, let alone what it meant in regard to Anna.
“But, Matt,” his mother said, “her one condition is that when she’s not in school, she’ll come home and live with me, and she’ll get Ethan. Breaks included.”
He nodded, still in disbelief. “Yeah. Of course. She’s his mother.”
“That means Christmas. Spring break. Summer breaks until she starts her residency.”
“Of course.”
His mother looked at him with sorrowful eyes. “But you can’t take him to England, Matt. She’ll never agree to that.”
His eyes widened. “I hadn’t planned…”
“I think you should take some time to think about it. When we discussed custody before, I take it that Anna wasn’t an issue if you’d only just seen her a few days before?” his mother asked quietly.
“No.” It hadn’t been a factor, but was it now? He’d never given any thought to moving to England to be with her—he loved his life here. Besides, they’d slept together one time. He had no idea if Anna was even thinking along these lines. But what if she was? “For argument’s sake, if I did decide to move? What would happen to Ethan?”
“Abby would probably quit school. Or try to figure out a way to bring him out there.”
His head jerked up. “What about you?”
“There’s something else you should know.” She offered him a strained smile. “I’ve decided to buy a condo in Florida with Roger.”
“What? What do you mean you’ve decided to buy a condo in Florida with Roger?” he shouted.
She patted her hands toward him. “Matthew, calm down.”
He stood. “You just told me that you’re buying a condo in Florida with your boyfriend of a couple of months. How do you expect me to calm down?”
She rolled her eyes. “Ten months.”
Ethan came running into the room, wide-eyed, and stopped next to his grandmother. “Why is Uncle Matt yelling?”
Matt’s mother shook her head and smiled. “Uncle Matt’s just a little excited. How’s your Lego project coming along?”
Ethan cast a worried glance toward Matt. “I already made it, but we took it apart and now Toby’s putting it together.”
She tugged him close and kissed his forehead. “You’re a very good friend, Ethan. I’m proud of you.”
Matt forced himself to calm down. “It’s okay, big guy. Grandma and I are just having a lively discussion.” He forced a smile. “Why don’t you go check on Toby?”
Ethan’s eyes scrunched up. “Why do you look like you’re pooping?”
“I do not look like I’m pooping.”
“You do. You get this face…” He hunched his shoulders up to his ears, gritted his teeth, then lowered his brow so that his eyes nearly looked closed.
Matt tried to nonchalantly shake the tension from his shoulders. “I’m not pooping. Go check on Toby.”
Ethan didn’t seem to buy it. “Okay.”
As soon as the boy left the room, Matt said, “How did this happen?”
His mother shrugged with a playful look in her eyes. “Ethan must have walked in and seen you pooping.”
“Not that,” he grunted. “When did you decide to move to Florida?”
“Roger asked me while we were on the cruise, but with Ethan and Abby…it wasn’t the right time. Then when I came back, you were doing so well with Ethan, but it still didn’t feel like the right time. It was last weekend, after our discussion about Ethan’s custody, that I knew you were ready.”
“Ready for you to shack up with your boyfriend?” he asked defiantly. “Definitely not.”
She chuckled. “Ready to be a parent. That this wasn’t just you pretending to be a dad.”
A parent? That hit him in the gut. “Mom…”
She held up a hand. “You can do this, and I’ll only be gone half the year. We won’t move until next fall. But I need you to be sure, Matt. I need you to be sure you’re ready to commit to Ethan, so think about it for a few days, or even a week or two. Once you say yes, there’s no turning back.”
You mean like Abby turned away? was on the tip of his tongue, but he wasn’t sure that was entirely true. Abby was doing the best she could, and as her brother, he would support her and take care of her son. Besides, having Ethan was a blessing. Matt didn’t need a few days or a week to decide if he wanted custody of his nephew, but his mother was right. Anna cast everything in a whole new light.