Toby ran out the front door when Anna arrived, nearly tackling her to the ground.
“Did you miss me?” she asked, her heart full of happiness as she pried him loose and squatted in front of him so she could see his smile.
“I missed you bigger than the moon, Mummy.” He threw his arms around her neck and squeezed, nearly knocking her to the ground again.
She hugged him back, breathing in his little boy scent.
“That’s a very large amount of missing.” She grinned and lowered her voice. “I missed you that much, too.”
He broke free and looked into her face. “Really?”
“Really. I almost came and got you about fifty times. Did you have fun with Ethan?”
“We had the bestest time. And Ethan’s grandma showed up and brought him Star Wars Legos. Can I see Star Wars sometime?”
She gave him a warm smile. “I think that would be fun. We should see if Grandpa wants to see it, too. The first time I saw it was with him when I was a little girl.” How had she forgotten that memory?
“Really? No way.”
She caught a glimpse of Ethan and Matt in the doorway and leaned her head closer to Toby’s. “Do you still want to look at the dogs? We can go home if you need a break.”
His eyes narrowed in a worried look. “You’re coming, right?”
“Of course,” she said with a huge grin. “I wouldn’t miss it. I love dogs. But if you’d rather go home…”
He vigorously shook his head. “No. I want to pet the dogs.”
Tapping his nose, she said, “Then let’s go see some dogs.”
She stood and grabbed Toby’s hand then let her gaze land on Matt. She’d felt him watching her before she’d caught a glimpse of him. She’d forgotten that part, the instinctive knowing when he was close.
“Hi,” she said softly as she walked to the front porch, unsure how to greet him. She felt like a teenager with a crush—down to the blush on her cheeks. Only this was no crush, but she was too scared to dwell on what it really was.
His gaze swept over her, a combination of warmth and longing. Her own body combusted, remembering the night before.
This was a stupid idea. How would she ever keep her hands off him? If she continued sleeping with him, things would get messy. How did she find the strength to do the right thing? She had to think of Toby and Ethan. Ethan was part of this, too.
Matt walked down the steps toward her. “Hi.”
They stared at each other for a moment.
“Uncle Matt,” Ethan said, “why are you acting weird?”
That seemed to snap Matt out of his daze. “What are you talking about?”
Fatal mistake.
Ethan scrunched up his face and rolled his eyes. “You look like this.”
“I did not look like that.” He glanced down at Toby. “Did I look like that?”
Toby shook his head.
“See?” Matt asked in a good-natured defensive tone.
“You looked like this,” Toby said, letting his mouth drop open and rolling his head to the side.
“I’m going to get two little boys!” Matt exclaimed, reaching toward them.
They squealed and ran into the front yard, running in circles.
“Okay,” Matt said. “I call a truce. I’ll get my revenge later. Right now you need to go in and go to the bathroom.”
“We already did,” Ethan protested.
“Well, go again. Who knows if there is a bathroom at the animal shelter? They might make you pee with the dogs.”
After Matt convinced the boys that peeing with the dogs was a bad thing, they ran inside and Matt turned his heated gaze on Anna.
Her body temperature instantly rose several degrees.
He moved closer, only a couple of feet away from her. Close enough that he could reach out and touch her, but his hands hung at his sides. “Did you have a good morning?”
“Uh…yeah.” Her breath was coming in pants and her fingernails dug into her palms as she fought her overwhelming urge to throw herself at him. “Was Toby okay?”
“Of course.” He moved a few inches closer. “He’s a great kid, Anna.”
Her mother’s heart swelled even as her skin flushed at being so close to him. She glanced up into his eyes, not surprised to see his raw hunger.
He lifted his hand, reaching for her. “Anna—”
“We’re ready, Uncle Matt!” Ethan shouted as he ran out the door, Toby on his heels.
Anna took several steps away, thankful for the interruption. She was going to need two five-year-old chaperones to get through the rest of the afternoon.
* * *
Matt expected Ethan to be more excited once they got to the animal shelter, but he seemed overwhelmed by the noise.
Toby clung on to his mother’s hand as they walked down the aisles.
“Are you looking for a puppy?” Anna asked. “Those Lab mix puppies were cute.”
He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “This is going to sound corny as hell, but I was hoping that Ethan and I would just know when we saw it. Kind of like I knew the first time I saw you.”
She flushed and shook her head. “Matt. You can’t say things like that.”
“Why not?” he asked, apparently throwing caution to the wind.
What the hell was he doing? His mother came over, told him Ethan was his for practically the next eight years, and he was chasing after a woman he couldn’t have. And yet he wanted her anyway. He’d told himself he was going to play it cool this afternoon, but the moment he saw her get out of the car, his plan had flown out the window.
God, he was an idiot.
“You know why,” she insisted, her eyes wide, and yet he saw her longing.
He moved closer, his mouth close to her ear. “I know you don’t want to hurt Toby, and I understand your concern. But he and Ethan don’t have to know. We can keep it from them.”
Her body froze and her breath became shallow. Was she considering it? He felt himself get hard at the thought of seeing her naked again. Continuing something with her was emotional suicide—Anna was right to be concerned about her son—but damned if he wasn’t sprinting right for it anyway.
“What are you whispering about?” Toby asked, watching them with wide eyes.
Anna jerked away from Matt, her face covered in guilt. “Dogs.”
“Why were you whispering about dogs?” Ethan asked.
Matt grinned. “Tell them, Anna.”
She shot him a glare but there was orneriness behind it instead of irritation. “I was telling Matt how cute the Lab puppies were, but I didn’t want the other dogs to hear. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes at his uncle. “Dogs can’t understand people talk.”
“Sure they can,” Matt said. “We’ll teach our new dog commands and tricks. But we have to pick him out first.”
And so far they were striking out.
“Let’s go down that aisle and look at the tags on the cages,” Anna suggested, pointing to an aisle they hadn’t been down. “We’ll keep an eye out for the ones that say they would make a good family pet.”
Matt nodded. “Good idea.”
“What about this guy?” Anna asked, stopping in front of a cage. “It says he loves kids. Oh…And that he’ll do better with other pets in the family.” She shot Matt a grin. “I take it you’re only getting one today?”
“Definitely only one.”
Ethan and Toby had become bolder and ventured off on their own, and Matt stole a glance at her, resisting the urge to reach out and link his hand with hers.
His mother was right. He could walk away from his business…he could hand it over to Kevin to run. Kevin had jumped in as COO last year and learned the business inside and out. He and Anna could see where this took them, and if they worked, he could follow her to London. Twelve years ago, he never would have considered it, but now he knew better. Sometimes love meant sacrifice, willingly given.
But he refused to walk away from Ethan. Matt loved him too much to let him go. Which meant there was only one outcome to this.
What will you do when she’s gone for good?
“Uncle Matt!” Ethan squealed. “I like this one!”
“Sounds like he might have found one,” Anna said, looking over at him.
He was going to lose her again.
“Uncle Matt!”
He paused to take a breath and get control before he walked toward them, painting on a smile. “Which one?”
Ethan pointed in the cage. “There.”
The cage contained two dogs. Neither of them were puppies, but they didn’t look very old. They were both obviously mutts. One was about two and a half feet tall and had a dull brown short-haired coat. It had small ears and a long tail. The smaller dog had a short tail and short legs and a matted white wiry coat.
“Which one, big guy?” Matt asked as he squatted next to him.
“The brown one,” Ethan said.
Anna was reading the tag posted on the cage above his head. “It says they were picked up together by animal control. The bigger one is a boy and is a Lab mix. The little one is a girl and is a terrier mix. It says they are good with children and other pets.” She paused then frowned. “It says they hate to be separated.”
Matt grimaced. “How about we look at some other dogs?”
“We already looked at the other dogs.” Ethan looped his fingers though the wires of the cage and the bigger dog licked his fingers. “He already likes me. Look.”
“Okay…” Matt sighed. “I’ll tell one of the workers we want to see him.” Matt was already feeling guilty as hell over considering separating them, which was ridiculous. They were dogs. They could get over it, right?
Several minutes later a shelter worker introduced herself as Debby and removed the dog they called Cinnamon from his pen, leaving Sugar behind.
As soon as the cage door closed, the howling began.
Debby gave them an apologetic look. “Sorry, she does that whenever Cinnamon is separated from her.” But Cinnamon didn’t look pleased either, digging in his heels when she dragged him to the play area in the corner, about ten feet away from Cinnamon’s cage.
Debby finally got him in and held his leash while Matt, Anna, and the two boys filed in. Anna shut the baby gate–sized door behind them.
“Let Cinnamon smell your hand first,” Debby said. “People say hello by showing dogs a closed fist. It’s like a handshake only they smell it. But dogs like to smell each other’s butts to say hello.” The boys released a round of giggles and the woman grinned as she looked up at Matt and Anna. “Do one of you want to try it first?”
“Sniffing his butt?” Matt said with a laugh. “No thanks. I’ll pass.”
The boys burst into new giggles.
Debby grinned. “I think we can stick with your hand.”
Matt leaned forward and let the dog sniff his hand. And while the dog seemed friendly, he kept looking at the door to the play area like he was dying to escape.
Anna and the boys told Cinnamon hello, and the shelter worker let him off his leash. He immediately went to the door and batted at it with his paws.
“He’s really a friendly dog,” Debby said. “I know he’s sad about being separated from Sugar, but he’d eventually get over it. If you want to see his real personality, I suggest we bring Sugar in, too. I understand you’re interested in just Cinnamon, but he’ll be happier if Sugar is here.”
“Yeah. Bring her in,” Matt said, then looked at Ethan, who was petting Cinnamon. “But we’re only getting one dog, Ethan.”
Ethan’s head bobbed, and he and Toby continued trying to get Cinnamon to pay attention to them.
Matt glanced over at Anna, who stood to the side. She absently petted the dog while she watched the boys with a wrinkled brow. Was she worried about Toby being around the dog? Cinnamon seemed sweet enough. Or was she worried about separating the dogs? He was about to ask her when Debby returned with Sugar at the end of a leash.
The moment Cinnamon saw Sugar, his tail wagged so hard and fast it wacked the boys, who giggled as they jumped out of the way.
Sugar released a happy yapping noise and ran to the bigger dog and began to lick his face. Cinnamon nuzzled her head with his nose.
“They’re bestest friends, too,” Toby said. “Just like me and Ethan.”
“Yeah,” Matt said with a sinking feeling. What kind of monster would he be if he split them apart?
The dogs turned their attention to the boys when they sat on the floor, and after several minutes the boys started throwing balls for the dogs to bring back to them. Cinnamon was all in with the game, but Sugar watched the ball roll away then looked at the boys like they had lost their minds if they expected her to get it.
“What do you think?” Matt asked as he moved next to Anna.
“He’s a sweet dog. He’s gentle with the boys,” she said, but something in her voice sounded off. She moved closer to the dogs and rubbed Cinnamon’s head. “Aren’t you a sweetie?”
“Is Cinnamon house trained?” Matt asked.
Debby moved closer. “We don’t know, but he relieves himself every time we take him outdoors. He’s already been neutered so he had owners at some point but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trained. He’s very smart, so if he wasn’t, I suspect he’ll pick up on it right away.”
Matt knelt down and rubbed the dog’s head. Cinnamon reached up and licked Matt’s face and Matt had his mind made up. He’d told Anna he’d know the right dog when he saw it, and Cinnamon felt right.
“What do you think, Ethan?”
The boy’s eyes widened with excitement. “We can get him?”
“Yeah. Let’s get him.” Matt glanced up at Debby. “What do we do now?”
The woman grinned. “Now you get to take care of the paperwork. We can bring him up front with us while you fill out the forms.”
She hooked Cinnamon up to a leash and handed the lead to Matt then walked over to Sugar, who was sitting in the corner on Anna’s lap. Anna rubbed behind her ears and leaned into the dog’s face to whisper something before the shelter worker started to take Sugar out of the pen.
Sugar began to whine until she realized Cinnamon was leaving, too. The two dogs walked side by side until they reached their pen. When Debby opened the door to put Sugar inside, Cinnamon started to follow, but Matt held his leash.
Both dogs started to protest as the shelter worker locked the cage.
“Uncle Matt?” Ethan asked with a worried look. “Why are Cinnamon and Sugar crying?”
What was he going to tell him? The truth. “Because they’re friends. They love each other.” Shit.
Debby leaned closer. “Since they’re so bonded, we originally said they had to be adopted together. But their time is running out, and we thought they would have a better chance if we allowed them to be split up.”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“When you say their time is almost up…how much longer does Sugar have?”
“A few days.”
He glanced over at Anna, who had partially turned away from him. He handed Cinnamon’s leash to Ethan and walked over to her. “Anna?”
She quickly wiped her cheeks and turned to him but kept her gaze on the floor. “Yeah?”
“What do you think I should do?” he asked low enough so the boys couldn’t hear.
“It’s not fair to ask me that, Matt. You’re the one who has to take care of them. Two dogs is double the vet bills. Double the food. Double the work.”
It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it, but he sure hadn’t planned on walking out with two dogs. “Why are you upset?”
She shook her head and refused to look at him as fresh tears fell down her cheeks.
“Anna.”
She looked up at him with reddened eyes. “It’s stupid.”
“If it’s something bothering you, it can’t be stupid.”
She bit her lower lip and looked over at the boys. “It’s so much like you and me.”
“Oh, Anna…”
She gave him a sad smile as her eyes filled with more tears. “I told you it was stupid.”
There was so much he couldn’t give her, so much he couldn’t fix, but he could give her this. He turned around to face the shelter worker. “Get another set of paperwork. Sugar’s going with us, too.”
The boys erupted into cheers and Ethan threw his arms around Cinnamon’s neck. “Did you hear that? Your best friend gets to come home with us!”
Cinnamon licked Ethan’s cheek and he giggled. The sound warmed Matt’s heart, but Anna’s grateful smile nearly bowled him over.
He’d do anything to make her happy. But no matter what he did, it ultimately wouldn’t be enough.