God is smiling on your wedding,” Matt’s mother said as she fluffed Anna’s dress. “You couldn’t pick a more beautiful day. The temperature is perfect, the sun is setting, and there’s not a cloud in the sky.”
“Yes,” Anna said as she smiled at her reflection in the full-length mirror in Matt’s bedroom. “It’s perfect.” Her A-line white silk dress was simple except for the sheer lace back and a scalloped lace neckline. Her blond hair hung in soft waves above her shoulders, and the pieces of hair that were constantly falling into her face were pinned back with a small sprig of baby’s breath.
Matt’s mother gave her a hug. “I’m so thankful you’re back in Matt’s life. I always knew you two were meant to be together.”
“Let’s hope so,” Anna said.
“What?” his mother asked in confusion.
She and Matt had decided to keep the news of her and Toby’s impending departure to themselves until after they had dinner and cake, and danced. They wanted their wedding to be a celebration and not a sorrowful occasion, but it was hard keeping such a monstrous secret to herself.
Anna pulled free and picked up her wildflower bouquet in an attempt to change the topic. “Surely it’s about time to start.”
The bedroom door opened and Holly poked her head in. “You must be a mind reader, Anna. I came to get you. It’s time.”
Matt’s mother gave Anna a last kiss on the cheek, then left her alone with Holly.
“Any last-minute questions?” Holly asked, then grinned. “Any second thoughts?”
Should they have waited? Would it confuse the boys more if they were married and living apart? But as stupid as it felt, knowing that she was leaving as his wife made her feel like she was more likely to return to him. She didn’t have her job, but at least she still had her flat. She had enough savings to see her and Toby through for several months before they’d start feeling the pinch of her lost income. Her father would stay with Matt until his room at the assisted living center was ready in another few weeks.
“Whoa…” Holly said, taking in the stack of suitcases in the open closet. “I was kidding about the second thoughts. Are you nervous?”
Anna smiled. “Not for the reason you think. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“Then everything else will work itself out.”
Anna certainly hoped so.
Holly checked her makeup and hair, fluffed her dress even though Matt’s mother had already done it, then opened the door and told her to walk down the hall.
A string quartet played outside, a group of high school orchestra students who were friends of Tyler’s brother.
Toby was waiting for her in the hall, dressed in a black tux. Holly had pinned a yellow flower to his lapel and his hair was neater than usual, probably Matt’s doing, she thought to herself.
He gasped when he saw her. “Mummy. You look so pretty.”
“Thank you, baby, and you look so handsome,” she said as she bent over to kiss his cheek. “Are you ready for us to marry Matt?” She studied his face. “You know Matt’s marrying us and not just me, right?”
“I know, Mummy,” Toby said solemnly. “Matt already told me.”
“He did?” she asked in surprise.
He nodded.
The music changed to some classical piece Anna had heard a hundred times but couldn’t name, and Holly moved to the back door. “Anna, it’s time.”
Anna smiled down at Toby. “Just like we practiced.”
Holly opened the door and Anna walked out, holding hands with her son.
The sun had sunk lower in the sky, and the house cast long shadows in the yard, but the candles and torches spread around the arbor gave the backyard a romantic glow. The few people they had invited were sitting in folding chairs, but she only had eyes for the man in the black tux, waiting in front of the arbor. His eyes locked on hers and a huge smile spread across his face. Ethan stood next to him, wearing a black tux of his own. He reached up and slipped his hand into Matt’s.
It seemed to take an eternity to walk across the yard to him, not because the twenty feet was too far, but because she’d waited for over a decade for this moment and she couldn’t believe it was finally here.
* * *
When Anna walked out the back door with Toby, Matt was sure he’d never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. She hadn’t let him see her dress, saying they couldn’t afford to tempt fate, but now he was glad she’d hidden it from him. The lace bodice and full silk skirt were so perfectly her. Her eyes had locked on to his, and she smiled.
Toby clung to her hand, looking equally excited and scared. Before the wedding, he’d confessed he was nervous that so many people would be looking at him, but Matt had assured the little guy that all eyes would be on his beautiful mother, not to mention Toby knew everyone who’d be sitting in the chairs. But when Toby still looked scared, Matt had told him if he became too overwhelmed, to come stand next to Matt and he would keep him safe.
Right now, Toby was plastered to his mother’s side. They had practiced Toby giving his mother’s hand to Matt, but it was obvious he wanted no part of that plan now.
Anna looked down at her son and gave him a patient smile as she tried to pull her hand free, then gave Matt an apologetic look.
Matt grinned and reached for Toby’s free hand, putting him between them.
Anna’s eyes widened in surprise and it took everything in him to resist the urge to kiss her and tell her that this was their life now—love, reassurance, and compromise. Given their circumstances, this way seemed better.
Hand in hand, the four of them walked under the arbor together, Toby between Anna and Matt, and Ethan on Matt’s right side. The minister stared at them for a moment before he started the ceremony. Matt told himself to remember all of this, but the words floated past him. He could only focus on the woman next to him, afraid he would blink and realize it was all a dream.
When it came time for the vows, Matt pulled his hands free from both boys and reached into his pocket to pull out his vows, then stopped. They had been written to Anna, but now he realized they were incomplete.
He wrapped an arm around Ethan’s back and said, “Anna and Toby, Ethan and I welcome you into our family. Our hearts are yours. Our home is yours. We want you to always feel welcome and loved.”
Matt paused and took Toby’s hand in his. “Toby.”
The boy looked up at Matt with so much love and trust, Matt felt his heart break. How much time would he miss with him? What harm would his manipulative father cause? But today was about the blessings he was gaining, not what he was about to lose. “Toby, I’m marrying your mom, but I’m also making a promise to you. I promise to love and protect you, putting your safety and protection, putting your needs above my own.” He paused, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “And though I might not always be there in person, I will only be a phone call away, and I promise if you need me, I will come to you, no matter where you are, I will come. Today, I promise to love your mother forever, but I also promise to always love you.”
Anna lifted her fingertips to her eye, patting a trailing tear.
Matt lifted his gaze to hers. “Annaliese.”
Tears flooded her eyes.
He reached for her hand and grinned, his eyes stinging. “Only happy tears today, beautiful.”
She gave him a watery smile. “The happiest.”
He lifted his free hand to gently brush away another tear. “Anna, I knew you were the one the night of our first date.” He smiled at her, his beautiful bride. “We were like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. But it wasn’t time, and I lost you.” Her face blurred with his tears before he blinked and sent them rolling down his face. “And then I found you again.”
Anna’s chin quivered and more tears escaped.
“And despite my stubbornness and stupidity, I realized what a blessing I’d been given. How many people wish for a second chance and never get it? Anna.” He grabbed both of her hands. “Every moment with you is a gift. Every. Moment. And I will take them when I can and be grateful that I was given this second chance. Maybe our separation is my penance for not fighting for you before, and I will gladly accept it now.” His throat clogged with tears. “But I’m sorry you and Toby and Ethan have to pay the price.”
Anna shook her head, her face with tears. “Only happy tears today, Matt. Only happy.”
“Only happy.” He smiled, more tears escaping. He pulled her hand and pressed her palm to his chest and covered it with his own. “There’s an empty spot inside that only you can fill. When I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything, because you make me a better man. You make me believe I’m capable of more. So now…” His voice choked. “Now I realize I can’t fix this, and I’m letting you down…”
She shook her head. “No, Matt. No.”
“It’s easy to feel like a good man when things are going well, but your love…it makes it easier for me to handle life when things go south. Because you believe in me, Anna. When I see the love in your eyes, I see the man you see, and you make me want to be him.”
She lifted a hand to his face, brushing away his tears. “Oh, Matt. You are him. I wish you could see what I see.” She glanced down at Ethan and Toby then back up at him. “I see a man whose heart is so full of love, he gives it away freely and without conditions. I see a man who puts the needs of a child who is not his son above his own needs, even when it hurts so much…” She took a breath. “When I see you, I see a man who is a role model for my son. A man whose actions speak louder than inflated words and false promises. I see a man who is the true definition of a father.” A tiny sob escaped.
Matt lifted his hands to her face and held her still as he searched her eyes. “No. Happy tears today. I chose this freely, Anna. I was so stupid before, but now I see it clearly. You are my everything. You.”
She nodded and took a breath. “My life has been so empty without you, and it’s about to get empty again, but I will take every moment with you I can get, and thank God for what he gives. Because I’d rather have moments of perfection with you in exchange for a lifetime of emptiness.” She released a tear-filled laugh as she glanced out into the shocked faces of the guests. “So much for waiting to tell them.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She shook her head, her eyes burning bright. “I’m not. This is the way it’s supposed to be, especially now. The separation is part of us, it should be part of our vows, too.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“I knew you were the one, too. The night of our first date. And when I let you go, I knew it was the stupidest thing I had ever done, but I also knew it was right. And if I had to do it all again, I would follow the same path, and that makes me feel so selfish, because of the pain I’ve caused you, and the pain I will still inflict. But without that path, I wouldn’t have Toby, and life without him is inconceivable.” Her face softened. “But the pain made me a better person, a more grateful person. I took your love for granted before, but now—because of the separation—I know what a gift I’ve been given. You, Matthew Michael Osborn, are a gift. I’ve never met a man who loves so deeply, so completely, so selflessly.” Her voice choked again and she looked down at Toby then back into his eyes. “And so I will take the special moments—embrace them and be grateful—because there is only one man I have ever loved…It’s always been you, Matt. Always and forever you.”
Matt leaned over and kissed her, his tears blending with her own.
“We’re not to that part yet,” the minister said.
Matt pulled back and smiled at Anna before glancing over at the confused-looking man. “We don’t seem to do things the typical way.”
The minister grinned. “I can see that. Do you want to exchange the rings now?”
Matt looked at Anna, realizing he’d interrupted her vows, but she nodded. “Yes. Rings.”
The boys each handed them their rings, and Matt and Anna stared into each other’s eyes as they slipped them on their fingers and repeated more vows.
The minister held out his hands. “By the power vested in me by the State of Missouri, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” He chuckled. “Again.”
Matt kissed her with the love he offered today and the promise of tomorrow while their family and friends clapped and cheered.
* * *
The reception was a blur. Anna felt a strange blend of happiness and sorrow, but she told herself to get used to it. This would be her life for the next ten years.
They knew everyone was confused, so before they walked back down the aisle, Matt explained the situation. She glanced down at Toby and Ethan to see if they were upset, but they each clung to Matt and Anna’s hands with a resigned stoicism.
Matt had already told them.
He hadn’t wanted them to find out when everyone else did. He wanted to answer their questions and ease their fears. One more piece of evidence that marrying him was the right thing to do.
Despite their sorrow, they made the reception a celebration of their love. They danced and ate, and after everyone left, they put the boys to bed, tucking them in together. While Anna knew Matt and Ethan would come to London in June, a month and a half seemed like an eternity.
Matt grabbed her hand and tugged her into their room. He pressed her back to the door as he closed it, kissing her with tenderness and longing.
She lifted her hands to his face, drinking in everything she could so she could remember it all and replay it in her head when she lay in her lonely bed in London.
“I love you, Matt. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
He picked her up and carried her to the bed. They undressed each other in a slow, unhurried pace, savoring every touch. Matt laid her gently on the bed and kissed her everywhere.
Soon she was pulling him on top of her. He watched her face as he entered her and they continued their wordless dance, their bodies expressing their love until they came together.
Matt rolled to his side, bringing her with him as he wrapped her up in his arms and his love.