I pull up outside Marco’s place. I see Luca Bianchi’s car in the driveway, but that’s it. I step out, heart racing. Please be inside, Angelo. Please be in there and alive, you fucking idiot. I can hope all I want, but I know if this was a real promotion, the whole Bianchi family would be here, cheering him on and welcoming him into the fold. I run to the front door, banging hard.

“Angelo!” I yell.

I hear movement from inside, but no voices. My stomach sinks as I pull out my gun, bracing for the worst. I ram my shoulder into the door but it doesn’t give. I step back and blast the hinges off with three precise shots.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The door falls down in a mist of wood chips and dust. I step inside and see it right away. My little brother. My little fucking brother is lying face down in a pool of his own blood. There is a hole in his back and two in the back of his head. They shot him in the fucking back like a fucking execution. Carlito is dead beside him, chest stained dark red with his blood. All traces of my promise to Julia vaporize in that instant. There will be fucking blood. Every single living thing in this house is going to die before I leave, and I’m not going to stop until I get to the top of the Bianchi family.

A floorboard creaks to my left. I don’t duck behind a couch and wait to see who it is. I don’t sneak around and try to get an easy shot at them through the window outside. I walk straight toward the sound, gun at my side, consumed by a deadly calm that belies the rage swirling inside me.

A head pops out from behind the wall, just a fraction of an inch, but I’m fast. I’ve always been fast, and I’ve always been accurate. I whip my gun up, firing without even stopping to aim. The bullet slams into Luca Bianchi’s forehead, jolting his head backward. He’s dead before he hits the ground.

I hear a door from the other room open and I rush toward it. I tear through the kitchen, reaching the door just in time to see a man in a suit running as fast as he can away from the house. I aim, leading him slightly and aiming up to account for the way the bullet will arc. I squeeze off one shot. He’s far enough away that it’s a split second before he crumples to the ground beneath a mist of blood.

I stand motionless in the doorway, gripping the gun so tight I can feel the metal straining against my palm.

They killed him. They killed my only brother. My little brother. The same kid who used to come to me before he’d come to our parents when he fell down playing or someone hurt his feelings. The same kid who I used to share a room with growing up. They took him from me, and they left a gaping hole that I can practically feel the air ripping through. I need to put something there, and right now, the only thing I want to fill the hole with is bodies. I want to make the Bianchis sorry they ever crossed me, but I’m not going to be able to do it alone.

Distantly, I realize there’s no way for me to hide this from Julia. I can’t have it all. I can’t have the revenge I want and the life I hoped for, but I never deserved that. I don’t deserve to live a normal life with a beautiful woman and a great kid. That wasn’t ever the life set out for me. Pain, struggle, and blood. That’s all this life ever had in store for me, and I was a fool to let myself think otherwise.

My phone rings. Unknown caller. I pick up and wait.

“Leo,” says the voice. Marco’s voice. Marco Bianchi. I’m a little surprised because he doesn’t give anyone his number. If I’ve wanted to talk to him, I’ve always had to do it in person. Now this fucker has the nerve to call me after he executes my little brother? There’s nothing he can say to save himself at this point, nothing in the world that’s going to stop me from putting a bullet in his wrinkly old forehead. “I had no idea what they were planning. I heard when it was too late.”

I stare across Marco’s back lawn where one of his guys lays dead. I can still smell the gunpowder and blood in the air. No idea? I’m not buying it. Not for a fucking second. “Who wanted this?” I ask, surprised by how calm my voice sounds, how distant.

“The Morettis had some moles in the family. Seems like they got to Luca. Kid was my nephew, but I swear he had a spine about as thick as a toothpick.”

Had a spine as thick as a toothpick? If Marco only just found out about this, why is he already talking about Luca in the past tense.

“Yeah. No shit.”

“Listen, Leo. I’m doing my fucking best to pay my respects here. Your brother was a decent kid. Loyal, but a loose cannon. Still, we never would’ve set something up like this.”

I never said you did. Just listening to this crusty bastard do such a sloppy job of smoothing over his mess pisses me off. I want to call him on it, to tell him to lock his doors and find a good hiding place, because I’m coming. Before Julia and Roman, that’s exactly what I would have done. I would’ve already been in my car driving toward him, seeing nothing but red. Now, as much as I want to act, to get revenge, I can’t stop seeing Julia and Roman, realizing how much they need me to watch out for them. With every passing second, I feel the crushing reality start to settle in. I can’t have it all. I’m going to have to choose between revenge and being with Julia, and I don’t know yet what I’ll do. All I know is I don’t deserve her. She’s going to be hurt and disappointed when she finds out what I’ve done, and she deserves so much better than that.

“I understand,” I say.

“Oh. Good. Yeah. That’s real good. You’re an asset to the family, and it’d be a fucking shame to let you go to waste.”

There’s the threat. “Yeah, well, I’ll be in touch,” I say, hanging up. I stand in the doorway, the cold air feeling frigid against my steaming skin. I move back through the kitchen, emptying my clip in Luca’s corpse. His body jolts with each bullet and my ears ring as I walk to the car. It feels like my world is spinning, like the ground is falling out from under me. I know she’s pissed as hell and I know she’s going to have her heart broken when she finds out I’ve already broken my promise, but I need to go to Julia. She might deserve better than me, but I know I need her kind of good in my life. I’m too selfish to stay away. I will hurt, kill, and do whatever it takes to protect her and Roman.