I’m blindfolded, gagged, and tied up in the back of a car. They took Roman to a separate car, and my head still hurts from where they hit me to stop me from trying to kick free and get to him. There are only two men with me in the car. I’ve gathered that the driver’s name is Frank, and the passenger is Benito.

“...swear to fucking God. If he tries that shit again, he’ll regret it,” says Frank. He has a deep, slow voice that makes it seem as though he has to think carefully about every word he says.

“Just drop it. You know what Fredo would do to you if you touched Carlo? Carlo is his fucking nephew. Fredo would rip you to pieces,” says Benito.

“He could try.”

Benito laughs. “You really are an idiot.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” says Frank.

Benito huffs out a sigh and falls silent. I struggle to think through the throbbing pain in my head. “A’roo” I mumble through the gag when I try to say bathroom.

“Shut up,” says Benito.

“A’room!” I say more urgently.

Benito grumbles and I hear him unbuckle his seatbelt. A second later rough hands yank the gag down to my neck. “The fuck are you saying?”

I work the stiffness from my jaw. “Bathroom. I need to pee, or I’m going to do it all over this seat.”

“Go ahead,” says Benito. “Boss told us not to stop for anything.”

“She’s not pissing in my car,” says Frank. I feel the car lurch to a halt as he pulls off on the side of the road.

“Shit,” mutters Benito. I can hear the faint sound of him dialing a number in his cell phone and then ringing. “Yeah. Gotta stop to let her take a piss. Wait up for us.”

I’m led out of the car. I feel long grass brush against my ankles but still can’t see anything.

“Alright, go ahead and piss,” says Frank.

“I can’t see anything,” I say.

“You don’t need to see to piss. Just go.”

“I’m not going with you watching.”

He groans. “No one is watching.”

I hear car doors and voices as men approach. “...little kid is driving me crazy.”

“You’ll get to shut him up soon enough,” says another voice.

My heart clenches. I can’t stand hearing them talk about hurting Roman. My little guy is in danger and I can’t do anything to help him. No, not true. It won’t be easy to help him, but I can, and I will. I’m going to get him out of this. Nothing is going to happen to my baby, and I don’t care what it takes to protect him.

“I can’t go with a blindfold on and my hands tied,” I say.

Frank rips the ropes off my hands and the blindfold from my eyes, snapping my head back. I get a good look at his fishy lips and craggy face. He’s burly and the thinner man standing beside him is probably Benito. I look past them and see Roman being led by the men, eyes wet with tears. I want to cry, too, but I don’t have time to be weak, he needs me. He needs me to be strong.

One of them is yelling at him to pee, but Roman can’t do it. He has always been bladder shy. I feel such a swelling of anger that if someone put a gun in my hand right now, I swear I would shoot every last one of these men. Leo… I wish you were here. I know he thought he was doing what would keep us safest, and I don’t blame him for this, but God I hope he finds us soon.

An athletic man with blonde hair and a long nose walks over to where we are. Frank pushes me. “Hurry the fuck up.”

I stumble, nearly falling on my face when I trip on a tree root. The blonde haired man catches me, letting his hands linger too long on my back. “Frank, be gentle with the prisoner. She’s not yours to rough up. Fredo wants her fresh and clean.”

I take a guess from the way Frank glares at the blonde haired man that he is Carlo, the one Frank hates.

“Is this the guy you were calling a pussy?” I ask Frank, pointing to Carlo.

Both Frank and Benito’s faces turn white. Carlo’s turns red and he pulls out a pistol, holding it at his side and racking a bullet in the chamber. “You have something you want to say to me?”

Frank works his meaty lips and seems to come to some kind of internal decision, nodding and stepping to press his chest into Carlo. “Yeah. I want to say you’re an asshole, and if your uncle wasn’t the boss, I would’ve kicked your ass a long—”

Carlo tries to smash his pistol into Frank’s face, but Frank blocks, knocking the gun to the ground. Benito shakes his head as the two men struggle, and the man who had been yelling at Roman to pee turns to watch the brawl, smirking.

While they are all distracted, I inch toward the gun that’s sitting on the ground. No one notices until it’s too late, and just as Frank lands a devastating punch to Carlo’s face, I pick it up and aim it at Carlo. If he’s related to the boss, I figure he’s the most valuable target.

“Roman, run!” I shout.

He runs, and the chubby man nearest to him chases after him. I’ve never shot a gun before, and I don’t dare risk shooting anywhere near my son, so I have to hope that he finds a way to hide while I take care of the rest of these men.

Carlo grins up at me, holding his palms toward me as he rolls out from under Frank, who is standing on his knees, fists still clenched. Benito’s hands are frozen, no doubt ready to pull his gun free the moment I show weakness. “Stand here,” I say, pointing to the ground in front of me and jabbing my finger at Carlo.

He slowly moves to stand, stepping in front of me.

“You two, drop the car keys and your guns, and run that way, as fast as you can,” I say.

Benito laughs. “Or what? You don’t have the stones to shoot him.”

“Shut the fuck up and do what she says,” hisses Carlo.

Frank stands slowly, menacingly, moving his hand toward his pocket. “She doesn’t have the—”

I aim the gun down to the back of Carlo’s thigh and fire. His pants rip open and smoke trails up from his skin as he falls to the ground, squirming and cursing.

I aim the gun at Frank, trying to keep my hands from shaking. Do I have the guts to shoot people? If it means protecting my son? Yes. I’ll kill them with my bare hands if it means keeping Roman safe.

Frank’s eyes dart to Carlo and then back to me. He lets his hand relax to his side and I nearly sigh with relief. I don’t want to have to shoot anyone again. My hand still tingles from the recoil and my ears are ringing. I’m worried reality will crash in on me any second, making me drop the gun and run away from what I’ve just done.

“Keys. Guns. Then leave,” I say.

Frank slowly reaches into the pockets of his slacks and drops the keys in the dirt. Both men reach for their guns. “Wait!” I say. “One at a time.”

Frank looks to Benito, who nods back at him. Benito slowly pulls his gun free with forefinger and thumb, dropping it to the grass. Frank does the same.

“Now run,” I say.

Both men set off at a jog, not exactly running, but getting the job done anyway.

“You going to just let me bleed out?” asks Carlo. His face is white and I feel a little sick when I see how much blood is already staining the leaves. Did the bullet hit an artery? Jesus…

“You have a phone,” I say, kneeling and taking the two guns on the ground, throwing them deep into the brush. “Call 911. Tell them the woman you kidnapped just shot you in the leg and you need help right away.”

I run off in the direction Roman went, knowing every second could count. The gun feels heavy and strange in my hand. I’m afraid to point it anywhere, as if it might go off without notice. It’s only a minute later when I see Roman being dragged kicking and screaming back out of the woods and toward the road. I freeze, making sure I’m not heard, wondering if I could shoot the man dragging my son. There’s no way I could make the shot, and if I show myself, the man is just going to threaten to kill Roman if I don’t give myself up.

All I can do is creep along, trailing behind them in the forest, struggling to think of any plan that doesn’t involve just watching this man drive off with my son. It feels like only seconds later when Roman is being thrown into the back of the car, but I still can’t risk taking a shot. I could easily miss and hit my son. Instead, I’m forced to sit, waiting and watching the license plate as the car pulls away. I watch as they take my son away, and I can’t do anything to stop them. I memorize the plate numbers as quickly as I can, stomach feeling like it’s full of acid the whole time. I hope to God I just made the right decision.

I double back to Carlo. His face is bone white and his hand holds a phone. I pause, staring in disbelief. He looks dead. But I just shot him in the leg, how could he be dead? I feel sick as I kneel down, checking for his pulse and feeling nothing. How could he die so quickly? As much as I know he deserves it, I didn’t mean to kill him. I never wanted to kill anyone.

My breaths come rapidly, making me feel light headed, but I power through it, turning my back on the body, on the man I killed, and calling Leo’s number.

“Where are you?” he asks immediately, picking up before the first ring even finishes.

I shout the license plate number to him through the phone. “Can you remember that?”

“Yes. Where are you?” he asks again.

“That’s the car that took Roman, please find it.”

“Where the fuck are you?”

“I don’t know!” I shout, “but I’ll be fine. Just find Roman!”

“I’m going to have someone call you at this number and find you. Just hunker down and wait for a call.”