Tom
I throw my keys down onto the hallway console table.
‘Hello?’ I call. ‘Anyone home?’
Maybe she didn’t get my text. Then I hear some sort of scraping. Pickles rounds the corner, skidding so far she hits the wall, before continuing to barrel towards me.
‘Hey, Pickles.’ I pick her up, trying to stop her from licking my entire face. I don’t doubt she’s been licking her arse today. ‘Have you been a good girl for Mummy?’
I make my way to the kitchen/diner, but instead of finding Alice in an apron (okay and in my imagination nothing else), about to serve me a replenishing lunch, she’s instead sat at the table with her head in her hands.
Uh-oh. I look down at Pickles. What the hell did she do to her? She stares back with wide-eyed innocence, tilting her head to the left.
‘Alice?’
She looks up, mud marring her forehead. Her hair is dishevelled from where it looks like she’s run her hands through it and her eyes are red and puffy. My stomach drops at the idea of her being hurt.
‘Have you been crying?’ I rush over to her, placing Pickles on the floor.
She sniffs, but quickly attempts to pull herself together, chin in the air in defiance. ‘No!’
She stands up and walks towards the fridge. It’s only then I see the bottom half of her jeans are covered in mud, her knees grass-stained. I look down at Pickles. What did you do?
‘Egg on toast?’ she offers meekly, not meeting my eyes, choosing instead to hide her face in the fridge.
‘Fuck the lunch,’ I say, taking her hand and guiding her back to the table. ‘What the hell’s happened?’
I crouch down to her eye level.
‘I’ve just... I’ve just had a shit day, that’s all.’ Her cheeks are all flushed, her chin wobbling. I can’t help but find her captivating.
‘Because of Pickles?’ I finish for her. ‘I’m assuming she wasn’t the easy breeze I thought she’d be?’
‘No,’ she sobs, tears spilling thick and fast from her eyes. ‘And... I just don’t know if I can cope looking after her.’
‘Hey.’ I place my hand over hers in what I hope is a reassuring action. ‘It can’t be that bad.’
She scoffs. ‘Ha!’
Oh dear. Underestimating a woman in this kind of situation is how men get killed.
‘Start at the beginning. Tell me,’ I plead, trying to meet her eyes.
She looks up at me with her big almond-shaped, pale-green eyes. I’ve never seen them look so vulnerable. This can’t really all be about a dog, can it?
First, she explains about Pickles being a bitch at the park. I look down at her knees, knowing I need to look at them in case they’re grazed.
‘And then I went on to my meeting. I had to go like this because she’d already made me late.’
I stand up, take my jacket off, and roll up my sleeves. ‘Take them off,’ I say indicating to the jeans.
Her mouth hangs open. ‘Ex- excuse me? Are you seriously hitting on me right now?’
Wait... she thinks...? I burst out laughing.
I smirk. ‘Alice, if I wanted to hit on you I wouldn’t just be ordering you to take your jeans off. I’d have at least thrown a compliment your way first.’
She smiles meekly, her cheeks turning pink. Wait, is she embarrassed that I’m not hitting on her? Chicks are so fucking complicated.
‘I want to check your knees out. See if they’re grazed.’
She looks down at them. ‘Oh.’
She tries to roll them up first, but just as I thought, with how skinny those jeans are it’s an absolute nightmare. Instead she reluctantly stands, undoes the button and wiggles them down her milky legs.
Do not get a boner, Tom. Now is not the right moment to get a boner.
I kneel down and take a look at them, trying to ignore her black lacy French knickers. One is fine, just a bit red, but her right-sided one is grazed, the skin ever so slightly ripped. I head to the kitchen sink to run a bit of kitchen roll under the cold tap.
‘Anyway,’ she continues a sigh. ‘So, I go to this meeting, and I’m scared to leave her in the boot in case someone calls pet services on me or something. So, I ask the receptionist and she says it’s fine, they’re dog friendly.’ She rolls her eyes as if to tell me they’re not that dog friendly after all.
I kneel down and place the wet kitchen roll against her cut. She flinches from the coolness. I grimace apologetically. I wish I could take the pain from her.
‘So, I’m waiting in the boardroom for this woman. Only Pickles will not settle, she’s going fucking nuts, wanting to be not just sitting on me the whole time, but on my fucking neck. So, in a last-ditch attempt I took this bit of material I found on the table and I made a sort of baby sling for her. It was the only way to get her to calm the fuck down.’
I grin, imagining how stressed she must have been. She wrinkles her nose when she’s stressed. It’s kind of adorable. Adorable? What the hell am I thinking? I shake my head and go back to cleaning her leg as best I can.
‘So, what happened?’ I ask, leaning over to blow on it. Cool it down a bit.
Her shoulders slump in defeat. ‘The executive came in for the meeting and... well, the product I was supposed to be photographing was the silk, very expensive scarf I’d tied around myself and this stupid fucking dog.’
‘No!’ I can’t help but shout, barking out a laugh.
‘Yes!’ She snorts a sort of ironic laugh. Or maybe it’s a cry. ‘So, I had to hand it back to her, all covered in dog hair and dried mud.’
‘Shit. Did she kick you out straightaway?’
‘No.’ She covers her face with her hands. ‘She was all polite and insisted we carry on with the interview, but it was fucked the minute that happened. I was all flustered and couldn’t get my words out. Then, just as we were leaving, Pickles decided to piss on their carpet.’
Oh my god. I rub at my eyes. What a bloody nightmare.
‘Jesus.’
‘Yeah. I had a few more choice words for her on the way home.’
I pick Pickles up. ‘Why are you such a little nightmare?’ She stares back at me, her big brown eyes pleading ignorance.
‘Don’t try to act innocent now,’ she snaps. ‘Look, we’re gonna have to sort out some sort of doggy day care for her or something. I can’t take her to work with me.’
Shit. How much is that going to cost? Another thing I didn’t bank on.
‘Yeah, you’re right.’ I nod. ‘I’ll look into it.’
‘No, I will,’ she insists. ‘I’m not having her go to any old random.’
I smile back at her. Even when she’s pissed her off this much she still loves her, deep down. Deep, deep down.
I notice a new framed photograph on the wall of Pickles. This soppy bitch is mad about her.
‘I like the new photograph,’ I say with a grin, nodding towards it.
She looks over at it. ‘Thanks, but I’m not happy with it.’
She’s such a bloody perfectionist.
I look at the time on my phone. ‘I have to get back to work. Can I please leave her with you this afternoon and then we’ll sort something?’
‘Fine,’ she sighs. ‘What’s another couple of hours of misery?’
I lift her chin, forcing her green eyes to look up at me. ‘You promise you’d tell me if something else was bothering you?’
She stares back uncertainly, her mouth slack for a second, before she forces a smile.
‘Promise.’
Why don’t I bloody believe her?
* * *
Alice
I could have told him the truth. How I also got a text from my first ever boyfriend asking if the picture he attached was me. The porn revenge picture of me with everything out. I mean, what the hell was he thinking or trying to achieve? Make me feel like a pathetic slut? Check. Want to remind me how I’ll never get away from it? Check again.
Either way he’s managed to throw me into a slump. When Tom goes, I change into my pyjamas, take my make-up off and put on a rom com. The girls are always taking the piss out of me for my terrible taste in movies, but sometimes the crapper the better. You know what to expect, you get a happy ending and there’s no drama you can’t handle. Unlike bloody real life.
Pickles jumps up onto the sofa. I go to tell her off, but I don’t have enough energy. She instead cuddles up on my lap. I stare down at her in shock. Can it be she senses I’m feeling low? I suppose she has to be good for something. It’s definitely not walking.
* * *
Thursday 25th October
Alice
Today was Pickles’ first day at her new doggy day care. She seems to have had a great time. She bloody should have for twenty quid! Not that I’m paying for it, thank God. Luckily, the dog carer agreed to be flexible with us. The days I’m not working I can look after her myself, even though she is a massive pain in the arse. I can’t make Tom pay that out every day. He’d just be working to afford the dog care. Now I see why a lot of mums don’t go back to work. It doesn’t make sense.
Tom has been really sweet to me since my little breakdown yesterday. He even told me not to bother cooking and brought home a veggie pizza. I think it was just an excuse for him to have some BBQ chicken wings, but whatever. I scoffed it down, along with the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
Once he picked Pickles up, he managed to talk me into going for a walk together along the sea front. Pickles does seem to be far better behaved with him. He bought her an extendable lead, so she can have some freedom, but we can still get her back.
Watching her now frolicking in the sea, it’s hard to be pissed at her. She is kind of adorable.
Tom suddenly clasps my hand. I look down at our joined hands in shock.
‘So how are you feeling today?’ he asks casually, as if the guy isn’t holding my hand. ‘Better?’ He gives my hand a quick squeeze and then let’s go.
Wow. I can’t believe how sweet he can be sometimes. It’s weird and unsettling.
I force a smile I’m not feeling inside. ‘Yeah, I’m feeling much better, thanks.’
He sighs and turns to look at me. ‘Alice, look I know we’re not besties or whatever. But if something is bothering you please know that you can tell me. Contrary to what people believe, I am actually a good listener.’
Pickles runs around us. ‘I just...’ Should I tell him about the naked pics? My crazy first boyfriend? No, no I can’t. ‘I just must be due on or something,’ I quickly say.
His face squirms. ‘Ew. Too much info, Ice Queen.’
I giggle. ‘You said you wanted to listen,’ I tease.
‘Yeah, not to how your uterus lining is shredding thanks. Ugh, you women are gross. Anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die is a freak in my book.’
I burst out laughing. Then my leg is suddenly squeezed. I look down, ready to throw Tom’s hand off when I realise it’s Pickles’ lead tightening around me. I try to look where I can untangle it but it’s getting tighter by the second.
‘Shit,’ Tom gasps. ‘She’s wrapped us up.’
My body is suddenly smashed against Tom’s, pressing my suddenly very erect nipples against his hard chest. Thank God for my coat hiding them.
‘Pickles!’ I shout.
Just at that second, I see her spot a seagull over the water. Her eyes widen. Oh no, please no.
She bolts across the water, the lead wrapping us so tight that we lose our footing and before we have a chance to correct ourselves we’re falling into the freezing cold seawater.
It shocks me so much my mouth opens, taking in a mouthful of salty seawater. Tom manages to pull us up out of the water and drag us back to the pebbles. He lays me down and untangles us while shouting abuse at Pickles.
I’m so frozen I can’t even speak. Every muscle in my body is frigid from the sudden change in temperature.
I’m finally free when he grabs Pickles and puts her on a tight lead. I take my soaking coat off my shoulders.
‘You are never being allowed freedom again, missus!’ he shouts at her. He turns to me, his eyes scanning over my tired body. ‘Alice, you’re gonna have to get up. We need to go. Now.’
‘But I’m soaking wet. What’s the rush?’ Right now, I just want to lie here and feel sorry for myself a minute.
‘Exactly,’ he snaps bad-temperedly. ‘Seeing you lying there soaking wet with your nipples that could cut ice, has me sporting a raging boner. I’d like to get home before anyone notices.’
I look down at his bulging jeans and burst out laughing. ‘Just when I thought you were being all sweet, you have to go caveman on me again.’
‘What can I say, Ice Queen? You melted just enough to wake my dick up.’
* * *
Friday 26th October
Tom
I had to lock myself in my room and wank. It was the only way to get rid of my raging boner. But fuck me, seeing Alice laid there all wet... well, she’s lucky I didn’t jizz in my pants immediately. The woman’s turning me into a teenager again.
I walk out into the kitchen.
‘We’re going to have to take the dog,’ Alice says to me on a sigh. ‘The dog woman can’t have her.’
‘Huh?’
‘The Halloween party tomorrow night at the pub?’
‘Oh yeah.’ Jack did tell me the boys were coming down, so we were gonna make a night of it. ‘It’ll be fine.’
‘Yeah, famous last words,’ she snorts. ‘Also, Tom, I think with you getting a boner today it’d be best if I slept in my own bed tonight. Alone.’
I can’t help but feel my heart sink. ‘Okay,’ I shrug. ‘Whatever. We were only doing it because of Pickles. I’m sure she’ll be fine with just one of us.’
‘Yep,’ she nods. ‘And if not, we’ll just have to be strong. It’s not healthy for us to be sharing a bed. We’re roommates. Nothing more, right?’
‘Right.’ I nod. So then why do I feel like she just rejected me?