Alice
I woke up feeling more positive about everything. Tom being so sweet to me yesterday had released tons of pent up tension I didn’t even realise I was carrying over it. But I had to ruin it by going to my parents’ house. I don’t even know why I feel I owe these people anything, but if I don’t go, I’ll just get a load of guilt texts from Mum. It’s easier to just go.
But I didn’t bank on Tom following through on his promise and coming with me. Now that he’s here I can’t help but feel awful for putting him through this. The poor guy isn’t even sleeping with me.
We make our way into the dining room and take our seats.
‘Your brother will be down in a minute,’ Mum says, her eyes shining whenever she talks about him. I don’t know why. He dropped out of uni and lives through the bank of mum and dad. Just because he occasionally goes to charity balls with them and joins in talking shit with all of those pompous arseholes, they seem to think he’s the bee’s knees. I’m just some outcast.
I’ve always felt overshadowed by him, even though I’m the oldest. I was always the meek, agreeable daughter that kept her head down and went along with everything. Only after breaking up with my first boyfriend, I decided I was sick to death of being treated like a doormat.
Mum’s face when I dyed my hair and changed my clothes was a picture. She actually asked me if I was having some sort of nervous breakdown. Called Doctor Reynolds and asked him to assess me. When I got my first tattoo she threatened to have me committed. That’s when I knew I could never move back home after uni.
Marie brings in the roast dinner. I take some of the dishes off her and place them down. She’s always sweating from the unbearable pressure my parents put on her. Mum’s not even flinching, just drinking her sherry and pouring a glass of red wine out for herself.
‘So how old’s your brother?’ Tom asks with a forced smile. He’s drinking the red wine Mum’s poured for him even though I know he’d prefer a beer.
‘Twenty-one, but with a mental age of twelve.’
‘Someone talking about me?’ We all turn to see Gerald at the door grinning like the Cheshire cat. He’s always been a smug little bastard. Mum and Dad have been far too soft on him.
He swaggers into the room and sits down across from me. ‘Hey, Ali.’
Ugh, I hate when he calls me Ali.
‘Hi,’ I say curtly.
He grabs the plate of mashed potato and starts chucking some onto his even though no-one had started. We’re all too polite, unlike him, the idiot.
‘You’re wearing a lot of clothes today, Ali.’
I frown, looking down at my outfit. I’m wearing no more clothes than I normally would. What the hell is he talking about?
I stare back at him. He’s grinning at me, his eyes daring me to ask him. Wait... does he know about the pictures? About my nude fucking pictures? Bile starts rising up my throat at the idea of my own brother not just knowing about it, but potentially seeing it.
‘What are you on about, Gerald?’ Mum snaps. ‘She’s dressed quite appropriately. Well,’ she sighs, ‘if it wasn’t for all of those tattoos marring her body.’ She looks at me pointedly. ‘You look like a bloody sailor.’
Dad nods. ‘My offer to pay for laser removal still stands.’
‘I actually like her tattoos,’ Tom says, taking a sip of wine.
Everyone stops to stare at him, as if horrified he not only dare speak, but also dares to disagree with them.
‘Sorry, but who are you?’ Gerald asks rudely. God, I wish it was still appropriate for me to push him down the stairs.
Tom meets his judging stare with an icy glare of his own. ‘I’m Tom.’
‘I wasn’t asking your name,’ Gerald sneers. ‘I was asking who you are to Alice?’
Well that’s a question and a half.
‘I’m her friend and roommate. Oh, and her doggy daddy.’
I burst out laughing, red wine spraying onto the tablecloth.
‘For goodness’ sake, Alice!’ Mum snaps, calling Marie into the room to clean it up.
‘What Tom means is that we adopted a dog,’ I quickly explain.
Mum’s lip curls up in disgust. ‘A dog, darling? In that tiny flat of yours? Are you insane?’
Jesus, why is it always my mother’s first reaction to want me locked up in a loony asylum? She’s the reason I have anxiety.
‘Our dog fits in our life fine, thank you very much.’
‘How did you meet?’ Gerald asks, leaning back in his chair cockily. ‘No, wait. Let me guess. You saw her picture online and answered the ad.’
Oh my god, the bastard is toying with me. Dangling the information in front of Mum and Dad, knowing it will make me squirm.
Tom frowns in confusion, obviously thinking Gerald’s a random dickhead. ‘No actually. We met on holiday a while back. Our friends are together.’
‘Ah, how sweet,’ Dad says on a hiccup. ‘Young love.’ He turns to Mum. ‘Do you remember when we were like that, darling? So bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.’
‘Yes, yes,’ Mum says with a dismissive wave. ‘It was wonderful.’
Tom turns to stare at me, his face full of unanswered questions.
‘Excuse us for a moment,’ Tom says calmly, standing up and taking my hand. Shit, he’s going to interrogate me.
He drags me through to the kitchen where Marie is washing some pots. She quickly goes back to what she’s doing as if she hasn’t seen us.
‘Alice, what the hell is your brother going on about?’ he demands; his eyes looking over my face, as if already expecting me to talk myself out of it.
‘Hmm?’ I look around the room, as if it’s no big deal.
‘Don’t fuck around, Alice.’ He takes my upper arms and shakes me slightly until I’m looking up at him. ‘You know exactly what’s going on. Tell me.’
Oh God. I really didn’t want him to know this about me.
‘Just... my brother’s found out something about me and he’s using it to piss me off. Threatening to let my parents know.’
‘Okay, I can see that for myself. But what is it? What’s so bad you’re letting him talk to you like that? What has your face paler than normal?’
Shit, I thought I was getting away with it.
I take a deep breath. ‘Okay, but if I tell you, I want you to promise three things.’
He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. ‘Okay, what are these promises?’
‘One, you have to promise not to tell anyone.’ He nods. ‘Two, you have to promise not to look at me differently.’ He frowns, mulls it over and then nods. ‘And third you have to not overreact and go mental.’
‘Jesus, Alice, just spit it out. Have you killed someone or something?’
I look over at Marie who’s definitely listening. I take his arm and drag him out to the garden. I push him against some vines growing up the wall.
‘Okay.’ One more deep breath. It won’t be that bad. Just rip the Band-Aid off and tell him. ‘My ex-boyfriend posted naked pictures of me for revenge.’
He remains completely still, not an inch of a muscle moving for exactly four seconds. Then his eyes fall closed. When they open, they’re ablaze with rage.
‘Your ex posted private pictures of you?’ he asks, his chest heaving heavily. I nod. ‘Why the hell haven’t you called the police?’
‘I have, but it’s hard for them to trace it back to him, and to be honest with you, I think they have more important things to deal with rather than some silly slut who made a ginormous mistake.’
‘What mistake?’ he snorts. ‘To trust your boyfriend?’
Wow, I can’t believe he’s taking this so well. To not completely judge me and tell me it’s my fault for being stupid enough to trust someone.
‘I want to know where he lives,’ he demands.
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘I’m not having you getting into trouble over me. It’s not worth it.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong, Alice.’ He takes my face in his hands. ‘You are worth it.’
I pause at his words, looking up into his emerald green eyes. Does he really mean that? Does he really value me as more than a piece of arse?
‘Well, well, well,’ Gerald says, appearing from nowhere. ‘Would you look at the sexual tension between you and dog boy.’
‘Watch it, dickhead,’ Tom warns, his hands clenching into fists.
‘Or what?’ Gerald asks, clearly having no idea what Tom can do.
In one swift moment Tom has him pinned against the wall. ‘You think this is funny?’ he snarls into Gerald’s face. ‘You should be acting like a protective brother and offering to go around this twat’s house and sort him out. Not trying to embarrass your sister over it. What kind of man are you?’
Gerald rolls his eyes.
‘What on earth is going on here?’ We all turn to see Dad and Mum looking on at us in horror. ‘Unhand my son!’
Gerald flashes us both a snide smile before turning back to them. ‘Dad, this absolute brute was threatening me in my own home. Told me to give him my wallet.’
Tom’s nostrils flare in rage.
‘No, he fucking didn’t!’ I scream, completely outraged on his behalf. For him to come out with such a blatant lie; it makes me want to murder him.
‘Alice!’ Mum berates. ‘No swearing in this house.’
‘God, that rule is ridiculous, Mother. We’re not teenagers anymore. Maybe if you stopped treating Gerald like one he’d get off his arse and get a fucking job!’
‘That is enough from you, young lady. We’ve had enough of your alternative lifestyle.’
‘Excuse me?’ I ask with a sarcastic laugh. Alternative lifestyle? Anyone would think I’m in a cult.
‘Your tattoos, your hair, these insane outfits, your refusal to eat meat. And now this horrid man. Bringing him into our home when you know he’s really trying to steal the silver.’
‘Mum... you...’ I stop myself mid-sentence knowing that no matter what I say I’m not going to change them. They’ll never see me for me, just the tattooed disappointment they always have. ‘You know what, Mum? I love you, but you’re toxic for me. I’m out of here.’
I turn and bolt towards the door.
‘You can’t just run out of here on my birthday!’ Mum shouts behind me.
‘Of course she can,’ Tom says, quickly running into step with me. ‘And your son’s a dick.’
Gerald runs up to him. ‘At least I’m not a whore who got my tits out for porn!’
Mum shrieks as if someone’s been shot. I turn away from them, headed for the door. All I can think about right now is getting out of here. Getting into the car and driving home to my safe place. Only then I hear a smack. I turn to see that Tom has smashed Gerald in the face and he’s lying stunned on the floor.
‘Get out of my house!’ Dad yells.
‘Gladly,’ Tom retorts taking my hand and pulling me out of the door.
My hero.
* * *
Alice
As soon as I’m in the car, I burst into tears. I automatically got into the passenger seat, hoping Tom would drive. He starts the engine and tears out of the drive and down the road.
‘Tell me where he lives,’ he demands, his eyes still on the road. The veins in his arms raised from what I’m guessing is agitation.
‘Huh?’
‘Your bastard ex who posted the pictures,’ he snaps, not pausing to look at me. ‘Where the fuck does he live?’
God, this is typical Tom all over. Just when I need comforting, he’s only interested in smashing someone’s skull in.
‘I’m not telling you,’ I cry. ‘Just take me home.’
‘I’ll find out, Alice,’ he warns, turning to look at me, his eyes ablaze with rage. ‘It’ll be a hell of a lot easier if you just tell me.’
‘For who?’ I scoff. ‘For you? Well, sorry if I don’t want you to end up in prison.’
He growls, running his hand through his hair. ‘God, Alice, you’re frustrating as fuck.’
‘I doubt you’d let me report your boss for her sexual harassment, so why should you be allowed to butt into my life?’
I’ve got him there. He frowns but doesn’t reply.
I turn my body away from him and look out of the window.
Forty minutes later we pull into our road. I barely wait for the car to stop before I’m unclicking my seat belt and jumping out of the car. I let myself into the flat and attempt to slam the door behind me, but it’s caught by Tom.
‘Alice,’ he snaps from behind me.
I turn to him on a sigh. ‘What?’
I’ve barely got the word out before he’s grabbing me, pulling me into his chest and crushing his lips against mine. What the hell? My body goes numb in complete and utter shock. If I ever thought Tom would kiss me, I would have bet a thousand pounds it wouldn’t have been in this moment.
I allow myself a moment to savour it before my hands find his hair and fist a clump of it between my fingers. He growls into my mouth. I gasp, allowing his tongue to sneak in.
He pushes me up against the wall, his hands roaming from my waist, down to my arse, then up again until they’re palming my breasts through my top. I moan into his mouth. Jesus, since when have I moaned at a bit of petting?
I claw at his shirt, needing his hot skin against me. He helps me unbutton it rashly. In the hurry he loses a button. I couldn’t give a fuck right now. I need him naked, like yesterday. He’s finally released from it, allowing me to run my palms down along his muscles.
Tom kisses me, then bites down on my bottom lip pulling it out so far, I end up going with it.
He chuckles. ‘Your turn.’ He takes the edge of my top and whips it off over my head so quickly I feel my hair go static. He’s unclipped my bra in record time and has one of my petite boobs in his mouth. I don’t even have time to feel self-conscious about their size. Never has a man made me feel so wanted. I suppose he is a professional.
He unzips my skirt. I push him away and attack his jeans. I fumble with the zipper, my shaking hands unable to perform a basic function. I don’t know why I’m going so fast. Wait, yes, I do. It’s because if we both stop to think this through for more than two seconds we’ll realise it’s a bad idea.
No time for thinking.
I finally tug them down just as he pushes my skirt to the ground. He walks me backwards into his bedroom, so quickly that he actually trips over his jeans that are still around his ankles. He crushes me to the floor making us both explode in laughter.
Picking me up, he throws me onto the bed. He pauses for a second to look over my body in just my French lacy knickers, the most devilish glint in his eyes. The promise of what’s to come. It’s the sexiest sight I’ve ever seen.
If the size of his penis is anything to go by, this is gonna be fucking amazing. He lays back over me, his fingers stroking me lightly. I’m embarrassed by how utterly soaked for him I am.
Without any more preamble, he wiggles out of his boxer shorts, positions himself and thrusts into me. I scream out from being filled to the brim. Fuck me, it feels amazing. All our pent-up energy is finally getting released in the most wonderful way I can think of.
We find an easy rhythm. Each thrust only makes me want more of him. It’s wild, and it’s frantic, but he still manages to kiss me on my neck, my earlobe, and stroke my hair.
His movements turn frenzied, thrusting inside me relentlessly, grabbing my thigh and yanking it to the side and above so he’s even deeper. So deep I cry out, as if in pain, but my god is it the most beautiful kind of pain.
A delicious throb takes hold of me deep down low, vibrating to the pit of my stomach. With each thrust the sensation gets stronger until my whole body is buzzing just for him, needy and begging him to give me the release I need.
I grab onto his arse cheeks, desperate to make it somehow even deeper. His movements become rigid until finally I explode all around him, my body no longer able to hold it in. I mumble something incoherently as my mind hums with warm pleasure. He releases into me shortly after. I barely notice. I’m too busy being sated as fuck.
He lies next to me, both of us panting.
‘So...’ I begin, out of breath, ‘that happened.’
He grins deliciously, his eyes alight with something I haven’t seen in them before. Maybe it’s lust.
‘Yep. And I fucking well enjoyed it.’
I burst out laughing. ‘Yeah, I don’t know if you noticed, but I did too.’ God, I can’t believe I came so hard.
He chuckles. ‘I think the whole building noticed, to be fair.’
I grimace, covering my face with my hands in an attempt to hide. ‘Was I loud?’
‘Err... is the Pope Catholic? Of course you were loud. You were being fucked by Tom Maddens. It was never going to be a quiet affair.’
Oh God. I’ve slept with a man whore. And without a condom. I’ve got the implant, so I’m not worried about an unplanned pregnancy, but this guy has slept with half of the population. How am I to know he doesn’t have something?
‘You’re clean right?’ I can’t help but ask.
He scoffs. ‘Of course I’m clean.’
‘But, like... you’ve been tested recently?’ I clarify. Just in case he’s thinking I’m asking if he showered this morning.
‘Yeah,’ he nods with a squint, like I’m mad for even bringing it up.
‘How long ago?’
‘Jesus, Alice.’ He sighs. ‘Only last month. Talk about a way to kill the vibe.’
Oh shit, now I feel bad.
‘Sorry, I just had to ask.’ I smile up at him.
‘No, it’s cool. Sorry, I snapped.’ He pulls me into his arms for a hug. It’s such a simple gesture, but it warms my heart.
‘It’s fine. We’re fine,’ I say shyly.
He tucks me under his chin. ‘We are.’
Now we just have to figure out where we go from here.