Chapter Fifteen
Elle
Today I was getting married for all the wrong reasons, but I couldn’t squish this giddiness bubbling in me. The little spark of emotion had blossomed into this fragile love that I’d live to regret. This wasn’t a real marriage, and Rebel didn’t love me back. Even repeating the cold hard facts didn’t dim my happiness.
Hopeless romantic, that’s me.
Right now, I needed to change clothes again. Rebel’s cat, his purr on high, slipped between my legs, wrapping a tail around me. While Rebel had warned me Harley was mean, the cat and I got along fine, maybe he was a ladies’ man like his owner. I stroked Harley’s sleek fur before digging through my bag for a new shirt.
Rebel walked into the room. “Damn, baby, you look hot.”
I glanced up from my bag into appreciative cinnamon eyes. I wore the Jericho Brotherhood half shirt I’d made with a denim skirt with cowboy boots. Every Texas girl wore cowboy boots with skirts, it was practically a state law.
“I was about to change.” I tugged on my skirt.
“Don’t you dare.” He stalked to me. “I love what you’re wearing.”
He clasped my hand. “Let’s go.”
“Wait.” I grabbed my purse, slipping the ring in my pocket. I’d bought his ring yesterday afternoon on impulse even though I wasn’t sure if I’d even take it out, but it didn’t feel right not having one.
The drive to the courthouse took less than five minutes, small towns had some advantages. We parked in front of the building that looked like every courthouse in small-town America. It even had a bell tower.
I tried to settle the bubbly feeling inside me by reminding myself for the thousandth time this wasn’t a real wedding. The happiness remained. Yup, somewhere down the path, I was in for some long nights of ice cream and sappy love stories because he’d break my heart. On the plus side, at least I loved the man I’d marry. And if I felt this way now, it could only get worse. I feared living with Rebel for the next four months would turn my love into this wild, uncontrollable garden that took over my life. How lonely my life would be when he’s gone.
Stop borrowing trouble, Jackson. I wiped all the sappy thoughts from my mind and focused on the plan. Get married. Get my company. Get on with my life. I had no room for love, let alone loving a wild biker who didn’t do love.
He held my hand and we walked inside the brick building and up a flight of steps to the second story. Courtroom was written on a brass plaque over the two wood doors. Rebel pushed the door open and we walked inside. One person sat in the bench seats, dammit, it was Jess. What was she doing here? I’d expressly forbid her to come since it wasn’t a real wedding. Our fake wedding didn’t need guests.
“Jess,” I hissed.
She turned to me, a huge smile on her face.
“You’re not supposed to be here.”
Rebel laughed and let go of my hand.
She teetered to us on impossible high heels. “Hey, introduce me to handsome biker guy.”
“Handsome biker guy.” I pointed to Jess. “This is my crazy-ass best friend who isn’t supposed to be here.”
“You’re hot and chivalrous. I like you.” She held out a hand.
“Jess, this is Rebel.”
“Nice to meet you.” Rebel shook her hand. “I’m glad my girl has good friends.”
Jess let her gaze travel up and down him before she turned to me. “He’ll do.”
Rebel threw back his head when he laughed. I loved the rumble of his laugh, it lit me like a winning slot machine. I glanced at my watch, ten minutes until wedding time. When would the judge come in?
The back door swung open and five huge, tatted guys walked into the courtroom. The room shrunk, and suddenly, it was crowded in the courtroom.
Whoa, every one of them was hot, not as hot as Rebel, but still, damn hot.
“Oh my.” Jess whimpered. “Please let them not all be taken,” she whispered.
Rebel chuckled and I smacked her arm, even if I understood the sentiment.
“Dude, say it ain’t so.” The youngest one had a grief-stricken look on his face. “You’re all falling so fast.”
Shit. Did they think this was real? I tugged on Rebel’s hand until he leaned down. “They know this isn’t like a love thing?” I whispered.
He nodded before turning to the biker horde. “Zero, meet Elle and her very available friend Jessica.”
Zero took one look at Jess and smiled at her like a boy on Christmas morning. “Hey, beautiful, I might need some consoling. My brothers keep dropping like flies.”
I didn’t hear what Jess said because they already were walking away heads bent toward each other.
Rebel drew me close. “Elle, meet my family. This is Viper, Jericho, Thorn and JoJo, who is supposed to be covering the office.” He growled at the last one.
“Don’t blame him, I made him tell me.” Jericho’s voice echoed in the quiet room. “Once he knew we were coming—”
“Man, you know I got your back, especially in a courtroom.” JoJo winked at me and sauntered off to sit down.
“Hello, everyone.” I gulped. “Nice of you to come.”
Jericho focused on me for the first time and his grin widened in a scary way. Not many people were scarier when they smiled, but this guy was. “Like that shirt.”
Shit. Yeah, here I was wearing their name on me like this was a real thing.
“And she blushes, how cute,” the black-haired one said. “I’m Viper,” he reminded me.
“You guys have interesting names.” I heard noise from the front of the courtroom. I glanced over my shoulder to see a woman judge sit down, peering over reading glasses at all of us. A bailiff and court reporter stepped into the room as well.
“I read my docket right? This is a civil ceremony, not a bail hearing?” She looked back down at her notes.
Did these guys get in trouble a lot? Or was that some kind of judge humor? I didn’t know Rebel or his friends well enough to guess.
“Yup.” Rebel and I stepped forward to the judge’s bench.
With a dry mouth and anxiety clutching my throat, I stared up at the judge.
“Will there be rings?” the judge asked.
I shook my head and Rebel nodded. I frowned over at him because this was turning into a lot of real, which only increased my struggle not to freak the hell out. With friends and now rings, my delusions of love were being fed when I needed to starve them.
The judge looked confused, so I spoke up. “Yeah, to the rings.”
The judge began the ceremony by asking for two witnesses to step forward. Jess clicked up beside me and Jericho stood beside Rebel. I had to blink back tears.
“Do you, Kevin Jacob Johnson, take Ella Jane Jackson to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Kevin. I’d never thought that Rebel had to have a real name, I hadn’t even asked what it was.
“I do.” He looked into my eyes.
Oh holy mother of all that was sexy, every girl part of me lit up. Sincerity rang in those two words and echoed in my heart. Yup, this was one hundred percent real to me, even though it was one hundred percent not real for him. I had dove into a deep pool and sooner or later I’d sink.
“Do you, Ella Jane Jackson, take Kevin Jacob Johnson to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.” My voice rang clear. I might be going down one day, but today I met Rebel’s gaze and swore to be his wife. Guilt tugged at me, but I locked it away. I’d feel guilty for swearing marriage vows I intended to break another day.
“You may now exchange rings.” The judge smiled down at us.
He held a princess diamond cut on a gold band in his right hand.
I will not cry, I reminded myself.
Rebel slipped the ring on my third finger—it fit perfectly. Of course it did, because he did everything just right. He started to turn back to the judge, but I tugged his left hand. He glanced down then met my eyes with a bright smile while I slid the titanium black ring onto his finger, pride swelled when it fit snugly on his finger.
“Truly shackled,” Zero called from the gallery.
He squeezed my hand and we turned to the judge. “By the power vested in me by the State of Oklahoma I now pronounce you man and wife.”
It was over.
“Man, you better kiss that bride,” another of the bikers called out.
Rebel kissed me. The emotion of the ceremony had to come out, so I snagged his neck pulling him closer, pouring every bit of my confusing feelings into him. We finally separated when cat calls started from the bikers.
“The very reason I don’t say that bit,” the judge grumbled. “You and the witnesses need to sign this.” She pushed the marriage license to me first. I signed my name, then Rebel signed his followed by Jessica and Jericho.
Legally married, yet when I turned toward our friends unease slid through me. Jackson Bonds would be mine, but what would it cost me in the end?
With ruthless determination, I squished down every happy feeling and attempted to lock down my heart. Get it together, this is a short-term, get-my-business marriage.
No matter how I lectured myself, my heart refused to cooperate.
Jericho squeezed Rebel in a back-slapping hug. “Always got to be different.”
What did he mean by that? I wished I knew a lot more about Rebel’s club but I had no clue what questions to ask. I hadn’t even thought to ask his name.
The judge banged her gavel, giving us all a stern look. “Clear my courtroom, I got more business to conduct.”
I don’t think she was fond of bikers, but I was, especially the redheaded one holding my hand. We walked out of the courtroom and stopped in the hallway outside.
Jess embraced me in a big hug. I tried to free my other hand to return her hug, but Rebel held on tight. While awkward, I lapped up the warmth and acceptance. Rebel and I were on a crash course, but Jess would be there when I picked myself up after our sham marriage ended.
“...the party starts at five, be there.” I heard the last part of the conversation.
“I said no parties,” Rebel growled.
“Last I checked—” Jericho looked down at his cut. “Yup, I’m still the Prez, so when I say party, we party.”
Jericho sounded a lot like Rebel. Tell you first, ask you never.
“We got to go to Dallas for business.”
“We can be back by five.” I squeezed his hand.
“That work for you?” His eyes said more than the words.
He was worried about me which was all kinds of sweet.
“I’m dressed for a party, my second biker party should be more fun than the first.” I grinned up at him.
“Second?” Viper glanced between us. “Tell me more.”
“Later.” Rebel pushed Viper out of his way.
“You should stay for the party,” Zero told Jessica.
I glanced back to see her big-ass smile. “But what will I do until it starts?”
“I’ve got an idea.” Zero led her away.
The bikers all hugged Rebel, which was weird to me because the men I knew didn’t touch each other let alone hug like they did, but what did I know.
We left the courthouse behind. Outside the smell of spring was heavy on the air. Trees had new green leaves and tulips bloomed along the front of the courthouse. Five bikes were lined up next to Rebel’s. The guys moved to their bikes, and Jessica straddled the back of Zero’s bike. I couldn’t wait to hear this story.
“I need to call the office before we go,” I told Rebel.
He nodded and headed over to talk to one of the bikers while I called Doris.
“Where you been?” She sounded grouchy. “Your daddy—”
“Needs to meet with me at one. Just have him there,” I snapped, not ready for any lectures. “Did you know about Chaz?”
“I got you down for one.” Ignoring my question meant yes.
“See you then.” I hung up.
Rebel sauntered back to me. “Everything straight?”
“One o’clock.” I wished it could be now so it’d be over. Anxiety and regret tried to find holds inside me but I shook it off. Daddy started this and now I’d end it, but not in the way he wanted. Worse, I know he hadn’t faced the fact his decision to try to control me would end our relationship. It was my turn to ambush him.
Rebel revved the motor before taking off, the other bikes fell in line with us. When we hit the on ramp outside of Ardmore, they turned left down a side road.
I was married to Rebel...the line repeated over and over in my head worse than the catchiest song lyrics. Our marriage didn’t matter to him. Then why did he buy a ring? Let alone an expensive, beautiful ring. I didn’t understand the way he’d acted today, and while I tried to deny it, down deep it mattered. He took our marriage ceremony seriously—I’d seen it in his eyes and heard it in his voice—and it tripped forever fantasies in my mind. No matter how I lectured myself, the kernel of hope had rooted deep in my heart.
I focused on the passing scenery, letting my senses become immersed in the feel of the sunshine on my face, the scent of spring in the air, and the sight of green grass and budding trees. Add the excited rush of being exposed as we sped down the highway, and I understood the taste of freedom. Addicting.
About halfway to Dallas, Rebel slowed and took a ramp down to a blacktop highway. He traveled down the road a couple of miles before turning on a dirt road that ended in a field.
What were we doing here?
He turned off the bike and set the kickstand.
“Why did you stop here?”
He slid off the bike and turned to me. “Need you, right now.” His low, sexy voice made my body hum.
“Right now?” A heady rush made me light-headed. Hell yes, I wanted him, but then I always wanted him.
“This needs to be extra legal, consummated and all.” He grinned in a very naughty way that lit up his cinnamon eyes.
“Oh, well we better be legal.” I stood up next to him, looking for a spot we could spread out.
“No, baby, you don’t understand, right here, with you bent over my bike.” He positioned me at the back of his bike. “Now lean forward onto the seat.”
I bent forward, excited by another new experience. With Rebel, I gave up even trying to guess the wicked way his mind worked. He positioned my feet further apart before his hand slid up my leg to discover the second surprise, I wore no underwear.
“Fuck, you didn’t have panties on all day.” He was breathing heavy. “Not going to last long, wanted you all damn morning.”
“Yeah? You like your club name on me?” I didn’t know why, but I was sure that was at least part of it.
“You know I do.” He hiked up my skirt.
I heard foil rip then his covered dick probed my sex.
“And you want me too. You’re so wet, baby.” He thrust into me, pushing me down on the bike seat and filled me in the best way. I gripped the seat, unable to move while he drove into me faster and faster.
“Please,” I moaned when his thumb found my clit.
“Elle,” he panted, making the sexiest noises.
He tried to be controlled, but I wanted him wild. I pressed back into his groin again and again. He pounded into me, all control gone. I felt him go, the first time he’d come before me.
“Come with me.” He urged and I fell over, unable to deny him anything.
Satisfaction filled me from tip to toes, I’d made Mr. Control lose his control. I liked knowing I affected him like he did me. He drew me up and flipped me to him, claiming me with a wild kiss. I fisted hands in his hair giving all I had to him. This time. Every time.
He pulled away from me then came back for a second, slower kiss, making me melt into his arms. By the time he let me go, I barely remembered my name. The man had skills on top of skills and he gave me pleasure time and again.
He’d given me so much, saving my business while asking nothing from me. I owed him so much, and somehow I’d make sure I paid him back because his kind of loyalty was a rare gift. I promised myself, somehow I’d give him as much as he’d given me. Even if all I could give him was his freedom when our time was up.
We left the field behind and headed back to Dallas. The wind on my face and Rebel in my arms, I was pretty sure life didn’t get better than this. When we hit downtown Dallas, my nerves sprang to life. My ulcers sent little volcanos of acid up my esophagus, my stomach acted up anytime I had to confront someone. Ignoring my stomach I focused on the upcoming confrontation. How should I play it? Angry? Satisfied? What did I want from this exchange?
The answer depressed me—I wanted nothing from this, not even vindication. I just wanted it over and done with so I could start rebuilding my life, filling in the blocks where Daddy used to reside. Walling him out was the only way to keep my sanity. I couldn’t forgive him, so we both deserved a clean break.
Rebel parked in front of Jackson Bonds and we both got off the bike quickly.
“You good?” He tilted my chin up to look in my eyes.
“I just want it done.”
He grasped my hand and together we walked in the front door, upstairs and directly to Daddy’s office. I closed the door behind us.
Doris looked up and did a double take. “Girl, what fool thing did you do?”
“Come on in with me, you know what he knows, right?” I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice.
Doris grimaced but followed Rebel and me into Daddy’s office—the last time I’d be here when he was.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Daddy stood up and stormed toward me, only noticing Rebel when he stepped up beside me.
I put a hand out to stop Rebel from doing more. This was mine. Tension radiated from him but he stayed beside me.
“Daddy, this is Rebel, we were married today.” I handed Daddy my marriage license and the pre-nuptial agreement Rebel had signed. “I plan to fulfill the terms of the marriage portion of the contract you offered me.”
He glanced from the marriage license in his hand up to me and back down. Red crept up his neck and filled his face. “He’s using you, to get my company.” He staggered back, sitting in his captain’s chair.
“No, he’s signed away all rights to Jackson Bonds. You have a copy.” I was dead inside, nothing. Anger, fury, hate, anything would be better than this numbness. He’d been in my heart since I was born, but I’d cut him out and cauterized the wound. Scar tissue was all that remained of my relationship with my father.
Daddy spent a few minutes reading over the contracts, the red receded and a tentative smile spread across his face. “Son, you’re not what I expected, but welcome to the family.” He walked forward, hand held out.
This was the part where he expected a reunion. I would be quick, and maybe brutal, but that was best.
“I have fulfilled the terms to date. I also tender my resignation. I won’t step back inside Jackson Bonds until I own it.” I steeled myself for this last part. “We won’t ever work together again, or see each other again.”
Color drained from his face and his hand went to his chest. “Wait, you can’t do that.” He blustered. “I’ll—”
“Do nothing.” I spat out the words. “You won, and lost it all in the same moment because that’s what you made me do, and you don’t fucking do that to people you love.” I turned to walk from the room. Rebel fell into step beside me.
Doris hurried to the door blocking my path. “You can’t do this to him.”
I stared Doris down. “Don’t you see, I didn’t do any of this. He did it all, now he has to live with the consequences.”
Before me, Doris deflated, looking old and worn down for the first time. She moved aside, looking to Rebel. “Talk to her.”
I don’t know what Rebel did but Doris didn’t say anything else. I walked out of the building and hurried onto the back of his bike. Rebel said nothing as we drove away. In just a few minutes we were at my place. I was proud, no tears, nothing. I was still numb.
I got off the bike and grabbed my purse. Rebel snagged me and turned me around to him. “You good to drive?”
I stepped away from his touch. I needed space now. “Yeah, I don’t feel anything, just empty.” I hated saying the words. What kind of monster felt nothing when she’d just kicked her only living relative out of her life?
He nodded and I bet he knew exactly how I felt. One day maybe he’d tell me his story, but if not, that was okay. He’d been there for me when I needed him, hopefully someone had been there for him.
He leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss before nodding for me to get into my truck. I’d put all the stuff I was taking with me in the cab yesterday, so I didn’t need to do anything but drive away. Hopping up into the driver’s seat, I waited for Rebel to back out. He did but didn’t go ahead of me. Okay, I backed out and headed away from my home.
Bittersweet. I’d be back, but for now, I wanted away from my father and anything he might do to try to mend our relationship. I didn’t have any more confrontations in me right now. I drove north, trying to find some of my earlier happiness. It had blown away, gone. A tear slid down my cheek, then another. I shut those down because Daddy had already used up his tears. I’d cried that night I ended up at Rebel’s room and I was done with tears.
What was done was done. Over. The end.
I breathed deep and turned up the radio, loving the heavy rock blaring through my speakers.
We made it to Rebel’s place by three thirty. I needed the time to recover and find something to celebrate. I couldn’t be a downer at my second biker party.
He unlocked the door to his place and I carried in my big duffel. I dropped it inside the door, exhausted.
He opened his arms wide. “Come here, baby.”
I fell into his arms, needing the comfort I’d been too shell-shocked to want earlier. He swept me up in his arms and carried me upstairs.
“What are you doing?”
“The only thing that stops the hurt, at least for a little while.” He gave me a sad half smile.