Chapter Twenty-One
Elle
Our relationship shifted after Rebel had told me about his past, we’d grown closer in intangible ways. After spending six weeks under the same roof, it seemed like a year. I liked living with him and working with him even more, which was why I planned to spend the next two days in Dallas without Rebel. I just had to tell him.
We enjoyed a late breakfast before we headed to the Brotherhood clubhouse. He had a meeting and I planned to spar with Marr. I hadn’t told him that part either. He placed a stack of pancakes in front of me that I would never finish. “Eat up.”
“You know I only can eat two of these.” I poured hot syrup over the four pancakes. I’d never thought to heat up syrup when I’d had pancakes at home. Of course, those were frozen pancakes I reheated, but still, hot syrup made a difference.
“Trisha, the new office assistant, starts tomorrow. You plan to be in the office?” I started, hoping to work my way to the trip to Dallas.
“You show her.”
“I won’t be here, I’m going to Dallas for a couple of days.”
His head shot up. “I’ll go with you.”
“No, I need to do some house maintenance and want to spend some time with Jess.” There, I put up a strong boundary. We’d spent too much time together. If this continued, I’d never be able to leave his side.
“Is this to get out of training Trisha?” He glared at me.
“Partially. It’s your damn office, you train the help.” I pointed my fork at him. “You aren’t so sneaky. I know you’ve been using me to fix the stuff you’ve messed up there.”
“I’m new, and you’re not.” He grinned at me with both his damn dimples. I was a sucker for his dimples.
“Now Trisha is new, and you can train her,” I reminded him. “I’ll be home, I mean back up here, by Saturday at the latest.”
His grin widened. “You could take Marr or Pixie with you.”
“I am capable of going to Dallas on my own, besides I’m seeing Marr today.” I filled my mouth full of pancakes.
“Why?”
“For a visit,” I said once I’d swallowed.
“What kind of visit?” His voice darkened. “She didn’t convince you to try out her dungeon?”
“God no,” I squeaked, not even sure what a sadist did in a dungeon. “We’re going to spar, we’re both black belts, and you go too easy on me.”
He looked much more interested. “Sparring? Where?”
“None of your business. You have your own meeting.” I crossed my arms. Truth be told I didn’t know where because Marr said we’d figure it out when I got there.
“Be careful.” He kissed me before he picked up my plate to rinse.
“Why don’t you eat breakfast at the club?” Mama had told me about breakfast and had hinted I could cook, but I told her she didn’t want me to cook.
“I don’t like biscuits and gravy. It’s what we have on Thursdays.” He placed both plates in the dishwasher, rinsed out the sink then dried it. I liked his neat streak. “Ready to go?”
Riding on the back of Rebel’s bike was amazing. I loved it, just another thing I’d miss once our save-my-business marriage was over. We parked next to a bright red bike. Walking down the row of bikes, I wondered how many of them had women who rode tandem. I was jealous of Mama, Marr and the others who had their biker for real. Even being Rebel’s property would be worth it if he really loved me.
I blew out a breath, trying to dismiss my stupid thoughts. The inside of the club was as eclectic as the bikers eating there. Every table appeared different than the next, no color scheme or theme tied the place together. But the bikers looked even more different, some had the typical long hair and full beards I expected, others looked military, and even more defied definition. Rebel, for example, looked like the boy next door more than a dangerous biker, not that I’d ever tell him that.
Marr stood beside a table of food talking with Mama. I gave Rebel a peck on the cheek and tried to pull away, but he held my hand, walking me over to Marr.
“Keep her safe, and don’t bruise her too bad.” Rebel basically handed me over to Marr, like I was some kind of child. I didn’t like this part of the club because it made me feel incompetent and somehow weak.
He gave me a much deeper kiss before he strolled away. Arrogant man, anyway.
“So where are we going to spar?” I asked her.
“You’re really doing this?” Mama frowned at me. “She’s mean.”
“Why doesn’t anyone think I’m mean?” I was frustrated by the way everyone treated me. I could kick ass and did so on a regular basis.
“Let’s go out in the grass on the side of the building.” Marr arched an eyebrow at me. “Unless you want to go to my dungeon?”
I gulped. “The grass is great.” I wasn’t sure what a dungeon looked like, but I pictured the medieval kind and decided to stay far away.
Staring down at her wicked boots, I added another condition. “No shoes.”
“Of course. Jeans give you enough flexibility?” She eyed my clothes. I wore what I did all the time—jeans, T-shirt and boots.
“Yup, sure you won’t fall out of that?” I pointed to the leather bustier she wore with jean shorts.
“Will it distract you if I do?”
“Not really.” I laughed. “Let’s go. I haven’t had a decent workout since I left Dallas.”
“Who do you spar with there?” Marr led the way through the kitchen, a huge industrial deal, and through a side door. There was a wide lawn and toward the back a porch swing hung on swing set poles. I leaned against the concrete block wall to remove my boots and socks.
“My sensei in Dallas doesn’t pull his punches, unlike Rebel.” I tried to spar with him but he always went easy on me, and then we’d get sidetracked once we started touching each other and ended up having sex on the workout mats. That was fun, but not the workout I craved today.
“No broken bones, torn muscles, or dislocated joints. I’m game for everything else.” Marr’s confidence was an area I could exploit.
“Works for me.” It was how I sparred at my dojo. Blood and bruises were the price of training.
We bowed to each other before we moved forward and Marr kicked out and I blocked, we moved back and forth in a quick dance of karate strikes, almost equally matched there. She struck my lip and blood trickled from the cut.
“I love first blood.” Marr stepped back, breathing as hard as I was.
I licked my lip. “We need water.”
“Here,” Mama called.
I turned and she threw me a bottle. Pixie threw one to Marr.
“How long have you been there?” Marr asked the question I’d been ready to ask.
“Since you started. We want to see this.” Pixie grinned wide.
“Ready?” I focused on Marr, planning to focus more on my hapkido moves this round.
Marr and I bowed again and moved together, this time I deflected the kick, moving close to take hold of the pressure point, slowing her before I kicked. A solid hit, and better, I’d thrown off the rhythm she’d thrived on last time. A hit to my face, a kick to the stomach but I deflected the sweep that’d take me down instead flipping Marr to the ground with a thud. She lay there a minute and I backed up to grab my water bottle. Marr groaned and stood, shaking her head, before drinking her own water.
A door slammed and I turned to see a group of bikers, Rebel among them, headed our way. Marr frowned and put hands on hips.
“Don’t you bloody think to stop us—”
“Never, just want to watch the ass kicking.” Jericho grinned at his woman. “Who’s kicking whose ass?”
“It’s really even,” Pixie volunteered.
The nine guys made a wide circle around us, a few others joined from the front. The young guy that Jess had spent the day with was among them. “How long you been out here?” he groused.
“Twenty minutes,” Mama said.
“Hate missing the good stuff.” He filled in the circle along with a handful of others.
Marr glanced my way and I shrugged. An audience didn’t matter to me because once I began to spar, I only focused on opponents.
We bowed before we began the third round, Marr struck my nose and it bled, I wiped it away as I kicked up, smacking my toes into her chin. Her teeth chomped together with a satisfying rattle. While neither of us said anything, we both knew this was the last round. The guys would be interfering as soon as we stopped. Moving back to karate, we traded quick strikes before I accepted a kick to the chest in order to get her foot for a throw. She twisted out before I could fling her on her ass but she dropped to a knee to regain balance. I struck her chin with a kick, drawing blood from her.
Part of me was aware of the noise in the background, but no one moved forward—no attackers but Marr to focus on. She shot up, trying to grab my foot for a hold, but I moved away. We slashed and kicked, but most of our attempts were blocked by the other. Her left arm drooped, which could be a trick, but I decided to try for one more throw. Moving in with karate, we traded fast strikes until I saw my opportunity, kicked her knee and grasped her left wrist right for a joint lock and flip. As she flipped in the air she somehow caught my kicking leg, and I flew back. We both ended up on the ground panting.
I heard Marr laugh as she sat up. “You’re a good match for me.”
“Back at you.” I grinned and sucked in air, trying to calm my breathing.
“Forty minutes,” Pixie shouted over the noise. “Forty minutes of awesomeness.”
I pushed myself to standing and wiped a hand under my nose, the bleeding had stopped.
“We gotta do this every week.” Marr came toward me.
“I might not be up here, I’ll be in Dallas a lot.”
“Then I’ll come there.” She frowned at me. “Bloody hard to find a good sparring partner.”
“I’ll introduce you to Master Ken, he’s wicked to spar with.” Something lightened in my chest. Maybe I didn’t have to lose all the friends I made when Rebel and I were finished.
Pixie and Mama came up to me and Marr. “You should teach the women self-defense,” Pixie chattered away. “That’d be awesome.”
“Marr can teach it.” I deferred to her since I wouldn’t be here.
“Marr is mean,” Pixie grumbled. “I should know”
“Why do you think she’d be easier on you?” Marr grinned.
“Because Elle looks nice.” Pixie smiled up at the tall dark-haired woman beside me. “You look mean.”
When Pixie and Mama turned expectant looks to me, I wanted to crawl away. “Not my thing, besides I’m gone a lot.”
“We could—”
“Leave it be.” Rock came up and collected Pixie. “You don’t need to be any more dangerous.”
A knowing look passed between the two but I had no idea what he meant. Rebel, Jericho, and Dare joined us while the other bikers faded away, now that the match was over. “You know more than karate.” Jericho stared down at me.
“I have a black belt in hapkido too.” Rebel wrapped his arms around me, feeling way too good. His erection pushed into my backside.
Jericho nodded. “You happy, now?” He looked at Marr.
Marr smiled wide. “Hell yeah, we get distracted before we make it half that far.”
“We need to get distracted right now, woman.” He tugged Marr’s hand and she went with him.
Soon it was only Rebel and me left. He flipped me to him. “You’re lethal with your hands.”
“In more ways than one,” I teased, wanting my hands on him in a very personal way right now.
“Let’s find a room to talk about that.” He led me into the clubhouse.
* * *
I pulled into my driveway in Dallas around three that afternoon, already missing Rebel. Jessica and I had plans for dinner, but first I needed a couple of hours to decompress. Life had turned messy and I had no idea how to fix it, and worse I had no desire to fix it. Burdened with my Rebel problem, I headed inside. I walked around my house, but it felt strange now, not like my home and I couldn’t settle anywhere. Just as I’d decided to run a bath, my doorbell rang. I checked the clock, but it was still two hours before I met Jessica. Luckily I hadn’t undressed, so I turned off the water and hurried downstairs. Looking through the peephole, I saw Doris on my doorstep. Dammit, she wouldn’t go away, so I opened the door.
“About damn time.” She marched through my door to the living room.
“Hello, Doris.” I sat on my couch, wishing I had some whiskey. Already Rebel’s habits were becoming mine.
“Don’t hello me, missy. How long are you gonna tear your daddy’s heart out? You got the man, the business, everything.” She pointed at me.
What the hell? “How do you know what I have or don’t have?”
“Really?” She rolled her eyes. “Your daddy hired a PI to follow you, and I had one of our guys watch your house.”
Red-hot anger filled me. “And what do you know?”
“You love each other, it’s obvious from the pictures, and he’s another bounty hunter.” Approval tinged her words.
“We love each other?” If only that were true, but it wasn’t. Her gall to assume anything about my life angered me, but to jump to that conclusion heaped hurt on top of my anger.
“I do love him.” Sadness swept away the anger because this was my reality, a horrible reality to have given my heart to a man who didn’t want it.
Satisfaction gleamed on her face.
“He doesn’t love me. Bikers don’t do marriage, they do other ceremonies, live differently.” I didn’t fully understand and unfortunately I never would. “But once Daddy’s conditions are met, I promised him a speedy divorce. And that hasn’t changed.” I held back the tears, no use in crying for something I never had.
“No, that can’t be true.” Doris sat on a chair. “You two...”
“We get along well, when no one had my back, he did. He helped me capture Stone, offered to marry me, because he hated to see my family turn their back on me. To see you turn your back on me.”
Doris blanched. “Why would he do that if he doesn’t love you?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Because he understands being backed in a corner by family, but that’s all there is.” I wished I could work up some rage, even indignation would feel better than this horrible ache inside me. “Every day I stay I fall a bit more in love and nothing changes for him. That’s what Daddy’s scheming did.”
“Oh no, he never thought... I never thought...what has he done?” Doris stood with a devastated look on her face.
“Welcome to my world.”
Doris stared at me then she turned and hurried out. I heard the door close. I have no idea how long I sat there, but my phone pinged and brought me out of my stupor. Jess had texted me. Be there in 20.
I picked up my phone and hit the call button.
“Hey, girlfriend, we are going to have serious girl time. I have so much—”
“I can’t do it tonight, can we do lunch tomorrow?” I barely recognized my voice, so wooden and forlorn.
“What’s wrong?”
“Tomorrow, I just can’t do this tonight, okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there at eleven and you be ready because that’s all the time I’m giving you to be all sad.” Jess had a forced cheeriness.
“Deal.” I hung up. With mechanical motions, I turned out the lights, locked the door and trudged up the stairs to my bed. Crawling under the covers, I curled into a ball and let silent tears fall. I was beyond screwed.
* * *
I woke up at seven, and sat up to start my day. After a long run, I showered and resolved to be done with tears and self-pity because I wasn’t that girl. I was tougher, stronger and whatever else it’d take to survive my heartbreak in one piece. When people said to be careful what you wish for, I hadn’t truly appreciated the wisdom of that advice. Rebel gave me exactly what I’d wanted, and I was miserable, which was bullshit.
Attitude adjusted, I’d taken extra time getting ready. Looking in the mirror, I spoke to my reflection. “I kick ass and take down bad guys. I don’t whine and complain.”
When Jess knocked I had on my brave face.
“You okay?” She gathered me in a hug.
I sunk into the warm embrace, treasuring her comfort. “Yeah, Doris visited me yesterday and threw me off my game.”
“Oh no.” Jess grimaced. “Trying to play peacekeeper?”
I nodded. “I’ll tell you about it at lunch.”
“And how it’s going with hot biker guy.” She winked at me.
“Only if you tell me about your night with Zero,” I shot back.
“You mean nights.” She sounded very pleased with herself.
The doorbell rang and I considered not answering it because I couldn’t think of anyone I wanted to see. The bell rang again. Jess glanced at me but my gaze skittered away. “Oh my God,” she huffed. “You can’t pretend not to be here. Your damn truck is in the drive.”
When I didn’t move, she marched toward my front door and swung it open. I heard her speak a minute, then the door shut. Who had been at my door? When had I turned into a coward? The answer to the second question was easy—I’d turned yellow the moment I’d had to stare Doris down. Imagine if it’d been my father, I couldn’t handle seeing him now, maybe ever.
Jess walked into my living room opening a bright yellow courier envelope. She slipped out a sheaf of paper, thumbing through it.
“What is it?” I moved to her and read snatches of the pages as she flicked through them. ...becomes sole owner... Jackson Bail Bonds...no condition to ownership. Other words registered but those words slammed home.
I snatched the papers from Jessica’s hands and flipped back to the first page.
My dearest Elle,
I am sorry for everything, as if that makes any of this okay. I have signed the company over to you, all you have to do is sign the last page and send them to the lawyer. I will retire May 30, and you can take over June 1. There are no conditions attached to your ownership, and I’m sorry I ever thought there should be. I hope the company brings you the happiness you seek.
Love You Always,
Daddy
A strangled cry escaped, but I tamped down all the emotion trying to drown me. Unable to settle myself enough to read the legalese word for word, I scanned the pages three times—everything appeared legitimate. I owned Jackson Bonds.
“What made him do that?” Jess stood at my elbow.
I glanced up but had no words, nothing.
Rebel and I were done. The thought stuck in my mind on repeat. There was no reason to go back to him, other than to pack up and move home. My stomach hurt, my throat burned and I wanted to cry. How come I felt like my world ended when I got the only thing that ever mattered to me?
Suck it up, I commanded myself, internally shaking off the morose feeling trying to smother me.
“Doris came by yesterday and it’s complicated, but I’m sure that’s why.” I cleared my throat. “Shake your ass, Beaumont. We need to celebrate.” I dropped the papers into my purse, planning to drop them by the lawyer’s office on my way home.
“Sign that.” Jess nodded to the papers. “We’ll drop them off and then celebrate. I don’t want your daddy to change his mind.”
After dropping the signed document off at our lawyer’s office, Jess and I headed to Franklin’s, a posh kind of restaurant for dedicated foodies. Jess loved fine dining and fine everything else, too.
Decorated only with glass windows for walls and sleek black tables and chairs, Franklin’s was the definition of chic. While not my style, it fit Jess perfectly. We both ordered and Jess insisted on a bottle of champagne to celebrate Daddy coming to his senses.
Once the waiter had left, Jess leaned forward in her stunning red dress. “Tell me everything.”
“The part where I told Doris off or the part where I fell in love with Rebel?” I sipped my water, wishing the champagne was already here.
“You can’t be that stupid, tell me you’re not that stupid,” Jess huffed.
“I’m that stupid. He’s funny, sexy, and naughty in the best ways. Do you know he’s a sex master?”
Jess snorted. “Honey, that’s definitely not what you call him. Is he a Dom or a Master?”
“I don’t know.” I waved her question away. “He trained with a master for four years, and he said people came to him because he could strip everything away...because of his control.” I whispered the last part.
“Lucky girl.” Jess grinned.
The waiter brought our champagne. I watched as he and Jessica went through the wine rituals—I knew nothing about those—then he poured each of us a glass before leaving the bottle chilling on ice.
“So yeah, we fit together crazy good and that’s so bad for me, which is why I’m here, trying to find perspective on Rebel, but now I don’t need it.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’ll get divorced, go our separate ways. This was all for show.” I gulped down my champagne, needing its numbing effects.
“I understand divorcing since you didn’t want to be married, but why give him up?” She frowned at me.
Our bruschetta arrived.
“Tell me about your biker guy?” I urged then stuffed my face so I couldn’t talk.
“Zero...the man has untold talents. He’s amazing in bed and he doesn’t want anything else. The perfect man for me.” She grinned at me. “We said one night, but it’s turned into four, so far. The man could break a lesser woman.”
“Does he know what you do?” I hated to probe, but Jess didn’t have a real good track record with the truth.
“Nope and he doesn’t need to. We’re not in a relationship, not even a fuck buddy one, pure casual sex.” She arched a brow at me. “The best kind.”
“For you.” We’d argued this point a hundred times and I didn’t need to make it a hundred and one.
“Tell me about Doris and why your dad’s being human again?” She changed the subject on purpose, but that suited me fine.
I told her about Doris’s visit and the smug way she’d assumed my life was right on track—the way Daddy wanted it to be. It was hard to admit how I’d been brutally honest about the one-way direction of my feelings for Rebel, but maybe if I said it enough times, it’d kill the last little pearl of hope I held onto.
“So that’s why it’s got to be over.” I sighed, hating the thought of never touching him again. “I love him and he doesn’t love me.”
“That could change, you guys haven’t been together long.” Jess pointed a sexy pink nail at me. “You’re scared and running. You always run.”
“I don’t want to be part of the club, I don’t understand it any more than the master stuff, but the women in the club are property. I’m no man’s property.”
“Why not? It’s sexy as hell to be claimed so absolutely.” She furrowed her brow in that way that meant trouble. She glared at me with her stubborn look. “You’d be great old lady material.”
I cringed at the word.
“Nope, not me.”
“Coward. You can’t hide from the good things in life.” She gave me her I-know-best look, and that just pissed me off.
“There is no us, not where Rebel and I are concerned. He made that clear from the beginning—”
“Change his mind.” She hissed the words. “Fight for once.”
Rage shot through me and I opened my mouth to lash out, then shut it tight before I closed my eyes and counted to ten. She didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, what I owed Rebel.
“If this was about only what I wanted, then yeah, I’d fight for him.” Those words were true. Surprising since Jess was right, I rarely fought for anything. “But when everyone but you had left me, and I had no one who could help get the one thing I’ve always needed, Rebel was there.”
He’d given me everything even when it had cost him, inconvenienced him, and caused him trouble.
“I won’t repay that kind of loyalty by trying to shift the rules, change our relationship, that’d be underhanded, especially when he spelled it all out up front. I’m not that kind of person.” I stared Jess down, daring her to challenge me again.
“Fine.” She threw her hands in the air. “There’s no way to change your mind if your sense of honor is on the line. You Jacksons would die choking on that honor.”
“Damn straight.” I grinned at her.
Jess dropped me home a little before three. And in less than thirty minutes I was ready to go bat-shit crazy. I had nothing else to do, but I’d told Rebel I wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. Knowing my time with him was short, I didn’t want to waste any time away from him, I only had seven days left before I’d be in Dallas full-time, taking the company in new directions.
On my way upstairs to pack, I froze mid-step. What if he didn’t want me to stay? What if he wanted me gone right away? Maybe I should just call and tell him about the contract. No. I wasn’t going to be a coward. While our relationship would end soon, I refused to hide. He deserved better, and so did I.
I packed a bag and then stopped in my home office to grab an envelope. I stared down at the envelope, not wanting to touch it, or even to acknowledge its existence because taking it meant admitting that my marriage was over. Sucking in a deep breath, I lifted the document out of the envelope and flipped to the last page. I scrawled today’s date on the date line on the first page, then flipped to page two and signed my name before shoving it back into the envelope. My half was done, my word still my bond.
My lawyer had been perplexed to say the least when I’d requested the divorce decree the same day I’d given him a certified copy of our marriage license. But being a good man, he didn’t question me, instead he’d sent word when they were finished so I could pick them up. I’d dropped them in my desk and tried to forget about them, and had done a damn fine job of it until today.
I dropped the envelope into the duffel and zipped it closed, just like I’d close down the sadness that kept trying to sneak in and immerse me in its gloom. I refused to be its plaything. I’d done what needed doing to save my company, I wouldn’t give Rebel even a small reason to regret helping me. By the time I reached his house, I’d be the old me, the happy me. And when I left him, well, I’d have the company to run, to expand, and there’d be no time or room for regret in my life.