Chapter Sixteen
Lexa
My alarm clock sounded what felt like ten minutes after I went to sleep and I rolled over and slapped the thing from the bedside table to the floor. It chirped out its annoying reminder, so I had to get up and kill it.
After shutting it off and returning it to its place, I grabbed my phone and unplugged it from the charger, checking to see if Aiden had texted me again. He had, and the guilt was burning in me. I didn’t have time for a long conversation, so I decided to tell him good morning and that I had another shift starting soon. I typed out the messaged and then headed to the shower.
I thought of the shower we’d had together and how he’d tied me up. Heat spread through my core, awakening a need that I didn’t have time to tend. I tried to ignore the desire, but as my hand slipped downward to wash, I couldn’t help working myself up a quick release. Aiden had me so worked up and full of emotions.
After I’d dressed and headed in, I checked my phone again and saw that he’d responded. He wanted to see me and remembering how much of me he’d seen, I wondered what his true feelings were. Was I another toy or did he really like me for more than sex? I hadn’t helped things much with my eagerness, but something about him and that scraggly beard had my panties wet every time I was around him.
“Good morning, Lexa.” Dr. Rob’s deep tones were so warm he could melt butter, and I turned around and gave a little wave as he passed.
“Good morning, Doctor.” Even though he was supposed to talk to me about our pending date, he kept walking. I didn’t take it so personally because he was, after all, a very important and busy man. But a part of me was relieved that he hadn’t stopped.
I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea to go out with him again, considering the fact that I was sleeping with Aiden. Sure we haven’t made anything official or even discussed a relationship, but considering I’d slept with him twice, I thought I should at least find out where we stood.
It was a crazy thought, and I knew it. Even if Aiden wanted something, he had no clue who I really was, and learning that would be a total game changer. There was nothing between us.
Besides, Dr. Rob was more my speed, and I’d always thought I’d end up with someone in the medical field. But even though Dr. Rob had a great sense of humor, a sparkling personality, and was attractive, I didn’t know if he wanted more than a date or a good time.
Could I go through with anything more knowing I’d be thinking about Aiden the entire time? Crap. What if Aiden found out and got angry? It wasn’t like he’d have any right, but dammit, the thought of him with someone else made my stomach turn.
With his looks and money, he could have his pick, and who’s to say I was the only woman he’d been seeing? He could have a whole line of women waiting for a chance with him, or second chance, or a third. I could only take his word for it, though he did seem interested in me — at least enough to stay in touch.
I’d dated a few men who never called when you wanted them to, and now I feared I was doing the same thing to Aiden. Surely, he wasn’t sitting around waiting for me to call. He had responsibility and his own life to keep him busy. I wondered what he did all day. Maybe he had a little black book he was filling. The idea twisted in the pit of my stomach as bile hit the back of my throat. I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
I shouldn’t be so hung up on him that I was lost in thoughts about him. What could I say to him? Hey, I’m the sister of the man whose family is trying to ruin your life? That wouldn’t go over well.
Kathy approaching made me jump, and she stopped and placed her arm on mine. “Girl, what’s gotten you so rattled lately? I’ve never seen you so scatterbrained, and I think Dr. Rob is starting to notice. I’ve seen the two of you talking and wondered if he was getting onto you.”
I knew she meant after I’d knocked over the carts and reacted to Aiden’s name being announced in the ER. Word had spread that I knew him and that I had practically froze up. The ER staff was infamous for their gossip, which was why I wouldn’t tell her we were planning a date.
“It’s nothing, just the stress of the lawsuit. I told you how my parents are suing the Walker estate. It’s getting ugly, and you know I’m against it. As a matter of fact, I’ve been seeing him.”
She narrowed her eyes and gave me a sideward glance. “You’ve been seeing him how?” The guilt in my expression had her clutching her chest, her mouth gaping. “Oh.”
“Yeah, and worse than that, I think I’m falling for him.”
“Doesn’t get any worse than that.” She covered her mouth and gawked at me as if expecting me to agree.
“Well, you would think so, right?” I shifted on my feet and looked to the floor.
“Oh no, I bet your parents were pissed. Are they still going through with it?”
“They don’t know about us and technically, neither does he.”
“Wait, I’m really confused.” We waited as a couple of people passed, giving them polite smiles, and then she pulled me closer. “Explain.”
“I haven’t exactly told him who I am.” Her eyes widened, but I didn’t want another lecture. Kathy was usually a great listener, but I could always count on her opinion. “No, I’m ending it.” I watched the relief ease her pained expression, but then shook her head.
“He’s going to find out, anyway, not to mention you’re already hooked. You’re so screwed.”
I nodded in agreement. “Now you know why I’ve been so rattled. I swear, I don’t know what else to do.”
“I heard he threw a fit in here, has a real temper when he doesn’t get his way. You better be careful with his type. Sometimes those rich men think they own the world or at least can control it. I don’t want to see you getting hurt. Ending it is for the best before you get too attached to the point of no return.”
I wondered if I was in that deep already. “I know. I know you’re right.” I raked my hands across my tight bun, wishing I could run my fingers through my hair. “He keeps texting and wanting to see me.”
“He’s hooked. You know most men don’t do that. Getting one to call back is like pulling teeth. Usually, I’d say if you had one so interested that you should hold onto him, but I have a bad feeling, Lexa. This is going to end badly. You’d do better to be honest, tell him who you are, and then leave him be.”
“But you can see why it makes it hard. I want to see him, too. He’s all I think about. Him and this damned lie.”
“Honey, you’re going to have to stop it cold turkey. It will be hard at first, but you’ll be glad you did.” She pulled me in for a hug and patted my back. “You hang in there, kid.” Then she walked away to get back to work. I knew I should, too, but I couldn’t seem to focus.
Would I give in and talk to Aiden? Maybe if I were honest, he’d be okay with things. And maybe I was having a hard time letting go.
When I saw Dr. Rob later in the break room, the temptation for a man’s point of view got the best of me. I sat at a table alone, looking at Aiden’s last text when he approached.
“There’s the prettiest nurse in the whole hospital.” He always waited until I was the only woman around to say such things, and he earned a look from one of the male orderlies who was having lunch next to me. I gave him a shy smile and shifted in my seat to face the chair the good doctor had chosen.
“Dr. Rob. How’s it going?”
He slid his chair forward and popped a small tomato from his salad into his mouth. “You know you don’t have to call me Dr. Rob. Rob is perfectly fine.”
“But what would the others think about that?” If anyone knew we were talking about more than medicine, we’d be in a whole world of problems.
“I have nothing to hide.” His warm smile lifted the corners of his mouth in a mischievous way.
“No, but you’ll make me the most hated person in the ER. If you only knew how many would give their right eye for a little of your attention, you’d have an ego the size of a blimp.
“So, you’re saying we should sacrifice our happiness in order to protect the feelings of people I have no relationship with? People who are nothing more than strangers to me? That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I can’t help but wonder if that’s what’s been bothering you. I know you’ve seemed a bit unlike yourself since I stepped up my game.”
“That was you stepping up your game?” I gave him a nudge, and we shared a laugh.
“I mean, when I finally had the courage to flirt. I don’t want it to be weird or something you’re worried about.” He was so genuine that I couldn’t help but like him, but I didn’t think he was my type at all and knew with every breath in me that I couldn’t love him.
“No, it’s not that. It’s personal stuff.” I turned off my phone and lay it face-down on the table.
“The lawsuit? You know you can talk to me about anything.” He leaned in closer, resting his hand atop mine. “I’m a good listener.”
“I don’t know. There are a few things. I have this friend who’s seeing a guy and hasn’t told him who she really is. Like, that he knows her from somewhere. She’s upset that she lied because now she’s falling for him, but there’s no way out of it. She could end it, of course, but he’s most likely going to find out, anyway. I mean, the possibility is there.” He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. “She’s asked me what she should do, and I don’t know what to tell her. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”
“Well, she has to either keep lying and end it or tell him the truth and hope for the best. But I think you see the answer as plain as I do. It won’t work out. He’s going to resent her if he finds out. I think if it were me, I’d end the relationship and hope he never finds out the truth, especially if there’s a sliver of hope that he won’t.”
“There’s a sliver.”
“Well, it’s like I tell my patients: sometimes a sliver of hope is all we have to cling to, but it beats no hope at all.” His hand left mine. “You’ll figure it out, Lexa.”
“I hope so — for my friend.” He gave me a nod, but somehow I think he knew I meant me. If anything, at least it might slow him down a bit.
As he walked away, my phone vibrated against the table. I peeked to see that Aiden was saying hello again. I decided at that moment to take the sliver of hope and let it go. And though my heart was breaking, I knew it was the right thing to do for the both of us.