Josh

 

 

Harlow is leaving Devo tonight. She swore it as she put her clothes on in the pharmacy, her body blue and beautiful under the light of my cell phone. We had trouble finding her bra. I couldn’t remember where I threw it, but eventually she spotted it hanging on a shelf full of sleeping pills. She grabbed it and as many boxes of the script as she could wrap her hands around, shoving it all into her purse.

We were quick as we shopped the rest of the shelves. She whispered names to me questioningly, stumbling over them, mangling them with her perfect lips. I taught her as we stole. I told her what each pill was, what they do. What their value is on the street. She was quick to learn, eager to ask questions. She thinks she’s stupid, that she can’t learn worth a damn just because she has a hard time reading and she’s shit at managing her emotions, but she’s sharp. I’ve always known that about her. She’s fast on her feet with reflexes like most people only dream of.

Devo took care of her by getting her out, by keeping her safe, but he’s done nothing to repair the damage her dad did. It doesn’t make him a bad guy, it just makes him the wrong guy for her. She needs someone to remind her how amazing she is every day. To tell her how smart she is. How valuable. She needs to know that she’s even more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside.

She needs me.

“Hold the fuck up,” Raw demands, slapping his hands down on the rim of the pool table. “You knew you could get to those pills all this time, but you never took them before? Even when you had to pay me to get your old shit back?”

I roll my pool cue in my hand, shrugging. “I bought everything I had before. It didn’t feel right to steal it.”

“How’s it feel now?”

I grin at him under the green billiards light hanging between us. “It feels pretty fucking good. It feels flush.”

“No shit, we’re flush!” he laughs.

“We won’t have to shop from Ritchie for a while.”

“Can you do it again? Is this our new supplier?”

“Probably not. Security on that room is lax because they’ve never had a problem before. They got complicit. Once they find out they’ve been robbed, they’ll probably crack down with coded locks instead of keys. They’ll put in cameras if they’re smart.”

“Damn,” he laments, pushing himself away from the table. “That would have been a sweet deal always getting it for free.”

“Sorry, man.”

He laughs. “Don’t be sorry, brother. You got us a bag full of pure profit. I’m happy. Bear will be too.”

“Harlow deserves a cut. She did half the work. She carried the shit out in her purse. I couldn’t have scored as much as I did without her.”

“Nah, you’re right.” He leans back on his heels, crossing his arms over his big chest. “What are you thinking? Seven percent, same as you give your boy?”

My stomach flips thinking about Harrison, but I keep my face clear. “Sounds good. Sounds fair.”

Raw is watching me closely. His normally benign expression darkening the way it does when he talks about things that irritate him, like the Black Hawks and Dirks Bentley. Raw fucking hates Dirks Bentley.

“You dealt with that shit yet?” he asks me pointedly.

“Dealt with what?”

“Come on, Strat. Don’t play with me.”

I sigh, looking down. “I talked to him. I cut him out. He’s done.”

“He sold us out?”

“They busted into his apartment and trashed the place looking for drugs. He told them he didn’t have any and they pulled a knife on him.” I look up at Raw, shrugging my shoulders. “He thought he was gonna die. He panicked.”

“He sold us out,” he repeats heavily.

“And now he’s out. It’s finished.”

“It isn’t finished.”

My hand grips the pool cue tightly. “I’m not giving him up.”

Raw runs his hand under his chin pensively. “See, now I don’t know how to feel ‘bout that. You’re loyal, which I like. You’re standing by your boy the way he should have stood by you. But you’re hiding someone from me. Someone that fucked me over. I don’t like that.”

“I’m not asking you to like it. I’m asking you to respect it.”

He nods slowly, lowering his arms. I watch them closely. I keep an eye on his footing, his stance, waiting for it to shift toward me. I don’t want to fight Raw. Dude’s crazy in a brawl. Odds are, he’ll beat my ass. But I’m not about to make it easy for him.

Finally, he takes a step back, his body relaxing. “Alright, man, but you gotta swear to me that he’s gone. I won’t work with a weak link like that.”

“He’s gone. I swear.”

“Good to hear.”

I hesitate, worried about pushing my luck but unable to drop it. “There’s something else.”

“What?”

“They got his phone. It has all of our contacts on it.”

“Goddamn it,” he growls angrily.

“I told my guy to cancel the number but they’ll still have everyone’s info. I don’t know what they’re gonna do with that.”

“We gotta tell Bear about this. Probably ‘bout your boy, too.”

“I’ll tell Bear the truth,” I promise. “About everything. It’s my mess. I’ll take care of it.”

“And when he demands to know the relay’s name, what are you gonna do then?”

“I’ll tell him no.”

“He’s not gonna like that. He’ll want to punish someone for selling us out.”

“I’m not giving him the name,” I reply adamantly.

Raw shakes his head, grimacing. “The timing is such shit.”

“Why? What’s happening?”

“Devo and Kill are on their way back. They’ll be home in a few hours because Bear has called a meeting with the Black Hawks President tomorrow. We’re all riding up to Culver.”

“Okay,” I reply slowly, not sure what he’s getting at.

Raw looks at me solemnly. “You’re riding with us, Strat.”

“What?” I chuckle in surprise. “Why? Because I was there when two of the Hawks died?”

“No. Because tonight he’s going to offer you a cut.”

I sober immediately. “What are you talking about?”

“When Devo and Kill get back, we’re sitting down, all of us, including you. Bear is gonna offer you a chance to be a Prospect. And with how much you’ve been bugging me about it lately, you better say ‘yes’.”

I lean forward to brace my hands against the table. “Holy shit.”

I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve been close with the club for months now; working with them, partying with them. I’ve been as close to a member as a man can be without being sworn in, but the news is still a shock. I’ve told Raw that I want to join and he’s been supportive, but I never actually thought it would happen. Devo doesn’t like me, I’m pretty sure Kill hates me, and Bear has been neutral at best. And now I have to tell him I won’t give up a rat.

“Fuck,” I mutter, lowering my head between my arms. I feel the way I did the day he threatened me in this very room; sick as hell. “He’s not gonna let me in, is he?”

“He might.”

“He might,” I echo weakly.

“He likes honesty. If you’re honest with him, he might still consider it. And depending on how much support you have from the other members, you could get pushed through.”

I stand up straight, shaking my head. “You and Skeeze might speak up for me. I doubt anyone else will care.”

“Hyde could. He likes you. And so does Kill.”

I laugh in shock. “Are you serious?”

“Dead. He’s been talking you up since you went in with us. He likes that you’re bringing new business. He’s been pushing for us to expand into something other than weed for years. He drives Bear crazy.”

“He’s the VP,” I consider aloud. “If he votes for me, I might make it in.”

Raw grins. “By the skin of your pretty, white teeth. You happy?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m happy. I’m… I’m…”

I don’t know what I am. I’m stunned. I’m excited. I’m scared, and that’s probably a good thing because it means I get what’s happening. I haven’t been rushing a fucking frat here. I’ve been proving myself to One Percenters. Outlaws by name and practice, and if I want in on this, I need to be ready to go all the way in. I need to ask myself some tough questions, ones I’ve avoided up until now.

Am I ready to back them, no matter what? Can I fight, cheat, and steal my way through the rest of my natural life? Can I accept that that life will most likely be shortened by my association with the Devil’s Due?

And the hardest question of all – can I kill if I have to?

I immediately imagine Harlow. I picture the Black Hawks breaking into my house with her there. Guns in the room. Knives at the ready. What am I willing to do for her? What if it’s not Harlow, but Raw? Or Skeeze? Hyde? Devo? Would I kill to save them? If you put that gun back in my hand instead of Raw’s, could I fire two rounds to end a situation that threatened the club and every man in it?

Turns out, it’s not a hard question at all. It’s the easiest of my life.

These men will be my family, and I’m willing to do whatever it fucking takes to protect what’s mine.