Harlow

 

Five Months Later

 

“That couch is so ugly.”

Josh snickers, glancing over his shoulder at the orange and green monstrosity in our living room. “It’s retro.”

“It’s disgusting.”

“It’s my favorite thing in this apartment.”

I laugh incredulously. “You say that about everything I hate!”

“And you hate a lot of shit, babe. I’m getting sick of saying it.”

“So stop saying it and get rid of that ugly ass couch.”

Josh stands up straight from the box he’s been rummaging through. He puts his hands on his hips, his chest stressing the fabric of his T-shirt. He’s been lifting a lot, hitting the gym with Raw and Skeeze almost every day, and it’s definitely paying off. My man looks good.

“It was Pops’ couch,” he tells me quietly. “It’s one of the only things I had in the house that I didn’t pawn. I want to keep it.”

My breath is stolen from my body, my heart seizing painfully.

“Well, fuck,” I whisper breathlessly. “I guess we’re keeping Pops’ ugly ass couch.”

In the five months since Pops died, we haven’t said his name much. We can’t. One of us always ends up crying. That first month after he died was the darkest. Initially, Josh was numb. Vacant. I was lost and devastated. Confused out of my mind. I’ve learned to live with the love I have for Josh in my heart every day, but that doesn’t mean I’m magically cured of all my issues. I still have trouble with large emotions, and losing Pops was one of the biggest I’ve ever had to handle. After the night Josh found me by the river, I let the hurt hit me full force. The only way to move past it was to push through it, and I only managed it with a lot of help from Josh and Angela.

We agreed that me living in the house next door to my dad was too much to handle with everything else going on, so Angela and Bear let Josh and I move into their basement until we figured out our living situation. Five months and one life insurance policy later, and we’re finally moving into our own apartment.

The policy wasn’t huge but it was enough to clear any debts left on Pops’ house. We thought about selling it, but when it came time to do it, we backed out. We couldn’t stand the thought of losing our childhood home. Instead, we rented it out to a couple of college kids, vowing that someday when my dad is dead and buried in an unmarked grave, we’ll go back to the house. We’ll fix it up, make it ours, and raise our children there. And we’ll raise them right.

With the rest of the money from the insurance, Josh bought an old Harley and a very expensive, very impressive computer ‘for school’. Considering he’s graduating in a month, I think it’s pretty safe to say he did not buy that thing for school. He bought it for his new favorite hobby – hacking. He told me what he did to Bryan Garrison and that he’s been working on a present to me for my birthday – he’s going to hack my dad’s pension at the mill. He’s going to drain it, leaving the son of bitch without a penny to retire on and us with a big fat savings account.

It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.

The Harley we’re fixing up together, rebuilding it piece by busted piece. It’s rideable now but totally unreliable. A little scary sometimes.

I love it beyond reason. Almost as much as I love the man who rides it.

I drop the pillows in my arms back into their moving box. I have to step carefully around the stack of boxes between Josh and I to wrap my arms around his neck, snuggling my body in warmly against his. He smiles down at me, his arms going around my waist. His hands cupping my ass possessively.

“We can keep Pops’ couch,” I continue softly, “but we’re getting rid of the bath towels. They’re older than we are and I will not use them.”

His smile widens, his fingers gripping me tighter. “Are you gonna air dry instead? ‘Cause that’s definitely worth tossing the towels.”

“I’ll air dry once a week if you agree to get me new towels. Nice towels. Pretty, soft towels.”

“Harlow, if you’re going to walk around naked, you can have your pick of any towel at Target.”

I scowl, pinching the back of his neck sharply.

“Ow, fuck!” he laughs, swatting at my hand. “Fine. Walmart.”

I pinch him again. This time he pinches me back, on the ass.

“No!” I squeal, trying to squirm away.

His hold is too tight. I can’t leave him.

“Alright, alright, alright!” He shouts, grabbing my hips to still me. “I’ll take you to the JC Penny in Culver. Deal?”

I smile, nodding happily. “Deal. One question, though.”

“What?”

“How are we going to get the towels home on the bike?”

“How many towels are you planning on buying?”

“At least six.”

“Six?! There are only two of us in this apartment. What do we need with six towels?”

“I use two every time I shower. One for my hair, one for my body.”

“And I use one. By my count, that means we need three towels, tops.”

“What if they’re dirty?”

“Is that a real question?”

“We need spares.”

“That’s why we should keep the old ones as backups.”

“I’ll keep the old ones as shop towels but they’re never touching my body again, and if you don’t get me newer, nicer ones, neither will you.”

He smirks crookedly, running one hand up and down my back slowly. “You little gold digger.”

“You big cheapskate.”

“I didn’t have money for a long time. It’s hard to figure out what to do with it when you’ve got it.”

“You buy the essentials. Little things.” I hug him hard, shaking his body for emphasis. “Like towels.”

“Fine. Yes. You can have six towels. Ten if you want. I don’t really give a shit, baby.”

“Then why are you giving me such a hard time?”

He runs his thumb down my cheek, swimming in my eyes. “Because you’re so damn beautiful when you get bitchy.”

“Fuck you, asshole.”

“Yeah,” he mutters, his eyes falling closed. “That’s the shit right there.”

He kisses me lazily, drawing feeling out of me slowly the way he likes to do. It starts in my toes that curl into the carpet as his tongue sidles up against mine. Then it’s in my knees, weak and whispering. It courses through my core as it gains strength. It hums through my stomach. It blooms in my chest. Bubbles up into my throat and spills from my lips on a sigh of utter contentment I feel in my entire body.

“I love you,” I breathe against his mouth.

“Always, always, always,” he whispers, his hands in my hair. His dick going hard against my stomach.

God, I wanna fuck him. Right here in the middle of the mess that’s our lives because it’s ours. His life and mine mingling together into one, the way it always should have been. The way it always will be. I want to ride him raw, no barriers between us. No control in my system. Just his body inside mine, planting life in me that will grow up with green eyes and brown hair, a silly smile and a home that’s warm. Loving. We’ll do right by it in all the ways that I was done wrong, and it will live its life knowing what Josh and I never did; that its mom and dad love each other desperately.

Josh pulls my shirt up over my head, tossing it aside. I’m naked underneath. No bra. Just me in his hot hands and my heart in my throat as he kisses me deeply. As my body weeps for him, begging for more. For all of him. Every thick, throbbing inch.

“Ahem,” Raw clears his throat pointedly behind us.

“Fuck!” I shout, pressing my body against Josh’s to hide my breasts. “What the fuck, Raw?!”

He chuckles. “You said to stop by anytime.”

“Knock first, you dick.”

“What the hell, man?” Josh asks irritably. “We were in the middle of something here.”

“Yeah, I see that. Finish if you want to. I’ll wait.”

Josh reaches down onto the ugly ass couch and grabs me a blanket. He drapes it over my shoulders to cover me.

“What’s up?” he demands.

Raw holds up his phone. The drug phone. “We got an order. Time to work, lover boy.”

“Alright, yeah. Let me get my shoes.”

“You want me to come over and watch Ava?” I ask Raw, searching for my top.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. I won’t have to take her all the way to Angela’s.”

“You live five doors down the hall. It’s not a problem.”

“Maybe put some clothes on first.”

“No shit, dude,” I mutter, snatching my top up off the ground under the coffee table. I turn my back on Raw to drop the blanket and pull the blue cotton over my head. When I face him, I put my arms out to submit myself for inspection. “Good?”

He looks me up and down slowly. “Your nipples are really high.”

“Raw,” Josh growls in warning.

“What? It’s true. Look at ‘em.”

Josh and Raw both look at my nipples. I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

“They’re perfect,” Josh promises. He stands from lacing his boots to give me a quick kiss. “I love your nipples.”

“Awesome. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Raw lifts his shirt. “Do you wanna see mine?”

“I’ve seen ‘em, thanks,” I decline impatiently. “Has Ava eaten lunch?”

“Not yet.” He lowers his shirt, getting serious about his daughter. “She’ll probably need to eat before we get back.”

“Do you care if I order pizza?”

“She’ll love you forever for it. It’s her favorite food. Cheese only, though.”

“I remember. You guys want me to order some for you for when you get back?”

“Supreme,” Josh answers eagerly, jingling his keys in his pocket. “Thanks, babe.”

“No problem.”

“Thanks, honey,” Raw adds, his voice high and sugary sweet.

I roll my eyes. “You’re welcome, dear.”

Josh kisses me again before darting out the door behind Raw. It’s slower than the last, deeper. Full of promise that feels like a threat, making my stomach twist excitedly inside me, eager for him to return and make good on it.

I lock up our apartment before heading down the hall to Raw and Ava’s. Normally I wouldn’t worry about it so much in a town like Opal. Definitely not when I’m living with a member of the Devil’s Due. No one local wants to fuck with that. But ever since the night Josh became a Prospect, a night when three meth trailers belonging to the Black Hawks mysteriously exploded in the middle of the desert, we’ve been on high alert. The Hawks have been cruising town randomly, trying to stir shit up. There hasn’t been any kind of retribution yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s not coming. The situation gets hotter every day and I can feel it starting to boil. It’s only a matter of time before someone gets burned.

The door to Raw’s place is locked too, but I have a key. I make sure to knock first, careful not to surprise Ava. She doesn’t do well with surprises. She doesn’t accept change very well either. But I’ve known the baby almost her entire life and when I walk in the door, her beautiful little face lights up like the sun.

She has bright blond hair and rich brown eyes set in an angelic oval face. So much of her mother is in her, it’s a little scary. I’ve only seen pictures of the woman – grainy, newspaper photos from the crime scene – but from what I’ve heard, she’s a force to be reckoned with. A terrible, angry, violent force. One I’m grateful has been locked behind bars for the rest of her life.

Ava doesn’t speak when she sees me, she never has, but she waves to me. Just one quick flip of her tiny little hand and I know I’m cleared for entry.

“Hello, Miss Ava, my love,” I sing to her. “Can I come hang out with you while Daddy’s working?”

She nods once before turning her back on me, finished with me for now. That’s fine. I’ll get her attention back when the pizza shows up.

I head to the kitchen to look for the number on the fridge. I find it stuck under the same magnet as a photograph taken in front of the club. I pause when I see it, smiling affectionately. It was taken two weeks ago on Skeeze’s birthday. The boys are lined up on their bikes in front of The Three, a woman in each of their laps. Angela in Bear’s, me in Josh’s, Ava in Raw’s, Lila in Skeeze’s, Vanessa in Devo’s, and Maureen, Hyde’s wife, in his. Everyone but Kill has someone. Everyone but Kill is smiling for the picture. It’s so typical of the club that my heart hurts when I look at it. It’s the same one I have in a frame in a box somewhere in my apartment, waiting to be hung next to all of the pictures of Josh, Pops, and I that we found in Pops’ room after he died. I can’t wait to get them on the wall where I can see them every day, constant reminders of the love in my life. The love my dad swore I’d never have. That I didn’t deserve.

I wish I could invite him into my world for one day, just so I could show him how insanely wrong he really was.

My mom ran off on me when I was a baby.

My dad is a worthless abuser who I’m ashamed to share DNA with.

But the people in this picture, the men riding away on their bikes right now and the lovely little girl playing in the next room, they are my family. Maybe not by blood, but by choice. By a bond deeper than nature.

They are my home. My whole heart. A tribe of outlaws living on the fringe because that’s where we were born. It’s where we thrive. It’s where we belong, halfway between Heaven and Hell. Writing our own laws. Riding into the wind. Together.

Always.

 

THE END