Josh

 

 

“Take it easy, man,” Raw cautions as I hoist myself up into the truck. “Go slow.”

I cringe as I fold myself in half to sit in the seat. Raw puts his hand on my back to steady me, his palm resting on the large winged skull of The Devil’s Due insignia that’s sewn onto the back of my cut. After Devo left, Kill and Raw helped me stand. They agreed that Devo had dealt me my punishments, for everything. Then Bear brought me my cut, carefully laying it on my shoulders. Skeeze and Hyde, the only men who voted against me, stood behind him watching as he swore me in.

Hyde looked angry. Skeeze was unsure.

Despite the pain and doubt that clouded my induction, it was the proudest moment of my life. Not getting into MIT. Not going to college in the first place. This, becoming the man I was always meant to be.

I’ll remember it forever.

Harlow quickly climbs into the driver’s seat as I pull the seatbelt across my lap. The back is loaded with her bags, her entire world vacated from the club in a matter of hours. It’s a sad sight to see but also a relief. It means things with her and Devo are well and truly over. It means she’s given herself the freedom to love me the way she wants to.

Bear gave Devo the same power over Harlow’s future as he had over mine; he was able to decide if she stayed with the club or was forced to leave. He surprised everyone for the second time today when he voted for her to stay. She’ll keep her job as assistant manager at the bar but she’s not allowed to live there anymore. It’s a fair deal. Though where she’s going to live is still up in the air. We’re headed to my house now so I can get cleaned up and changed out of my bloodied clothes, but she can’t stay there full time. Her past is too close. We’ll have to figure out something else, and soon.

“I’ll buy you some Vics out of the stock,” Raw offers as he closes the door behind me. He hangs his long arms over the open window frame. “You’re gonna need ‘em, brother.”

With my mouth full of blood and pieces of one of my back teeth, I mumble a monotone, “Thank you.”

“I’ve got Percocet in my bag in the back,” Harlow tells us. “He can have all of them.”

“Where’d you get those?” Raw asks.

“I’ve had them ever since my wisdom teeth came out. I meant to give them to Josh the last time he was beaten to a bloody pulp.”

Harlow is angry. I can hear it in her voice even though it’s hard to see on her face with the swelling and the pain and the darkness closing in. She’s mad at Devo for what he did to me but she hasn’t said a word about it because she knows there’s no point. She’s been with the club for three years. If anyone can understand what just happened and why it had to happen, it’s her.

Doesn’t mean she has to like it.

“Alright, get him cleaned up and back here ASAP,” Raw tells her. “We got a party planned and your boy here is the guest of honor.”

“We’ll be here.”

“Make sure you are or Bear’ll be pissed.” Raw leans back to clap his hands on the frame twice. “Take it easy, man.”

“Yeah,” I mumble thickly.

Harlow drives me home in silence. She doesn’t say a word or miss a beat as she pulls into my driveway just a stone’s throw from her worst nightmare. I want to apologize for making her come here again but I know she doesn’t want to hear it so I don’t bother. I try not to throw more emotion at her than she can handle. It’s a very delicate balance but I’m learning it again. I’m getting to know her as she is now, not who she was three years ago, and as she helps me into my barren house where just yesterday I stored my drugs, where two men died on my living room floor, I think she’s getting to know me too. She’s accepted that I’m not the boy next door anymore. That maybe I never really was.

Once I’m in the shower, my everything starts to ache. I stand under the warmth of the water, letting it wash away my blood in thin, pink rivers that swirl around the drain before disappearing into nothing, but the pain remains. It haunts me in every nerve. With every movement and every breath. The beating I took from Bryan was nothing compared to this, but I’m not going to the hospital again. Despite the fierceness of Devo’s attack, it was calculated. Professional. He didn’t do any damage to my ribs and even though my eye is swollen, it’s not fucked. I’m not going to go blind, not any time soon.

“Josh?” Harlow asks hesitantly, her voice echoing around the small, hot room.

“Yeah,” I grunt in reply.

Her shadow falls over the shower curtain, long and slender. “I brought you a couple of the Percocet and some whiskey.”

“I don’t have any whiskey.”

“You didn’t have any Percocet either.” She pulls the curtain open, not shying away when water rebounds off my body onto hers in a misting spray. Her left hand is closed in a fist. Her right holds a stout glass of amber liquid. “You’re lucky I come prepared.”

I hold out my hand for the pills. She drops them neatly in my wet palm and I put them in my mouth quickly before they can dissolve away, leaving me to my misery.

“I’ll fucking kill him,” she whispers angrily, surprising me.

“I earned it,” I remind her, reaching for the glass of whiskey. “You won’t do shit about it.”

“Oh really? I won’t?”

“Not if you want me to keep my pride.”

Her lips purse together tightly. She’s livid, but she’ll keep her mouth shut. We’ll both take this beating and move on with our lives, accepting it as payback for cheating on Devo. For betraying my brother.

When I’ve drained the glass, she takes it from me to put on the sink behind her. There’s a stack of clothes folded neatly next to the glass.

She reaches for me with a frown, her fingers lightly tracing a bluish oval on my chest. “Any regrets?” she asks faintly.

I put my wet hand over hers, pressing it tightly to my skin. “Not a single one. You?”

“I regret not ending it Devo a day earlier. You wouldn’t be destroyed like this if I had been braver.”

“It’s not your fault. I knew what I was doing. And this wasn’t all about you. I paid the price for Harrison tonight too. If anything, I got off light.”

“Don’t tell them that. They’ll put you through Hell for the fun of it.”

“It’ll be our secret.”

I run my free hand through my wet hair, pushing it off my forehead to see her better. To enjoy the sight of her for the first time as mine. Free and clear, honestly and openly mine. It’s a strange feeling. One I thought I’d never experience but now that I am, I can’t get enough of it. Enough of her. I feast on her with my eyes, savoring the sight of the impossibly strong, kind, fierce woman in front of me.

My woman.

She starts to pull her hand back, but I take hold of it firmly. I keep it in mine, watching the mist from the showerhead land on the downy blond hairs on her arm. Her skin shimmers like light come alive. I can’t get enough of it. I pull her hand farther inside the shower. Up to her elbow. Her shoulder.

She watches me closely as I pull her in. She can see everything, all of me, but she watches my eyes. She breathes slow and steady, her chest rising and falling in that little pink tank top that doesn’t quit cover her stomach. That teases and taunts.

When I pull on her hand again she comes willingly. She steps into the shower with me, fully clothed, drenched in a heartbeat that leaves me breathless. Water cascades down her hair, darkening it. Matting it against her skin that glistens wet and delicious. It runs like a river over her collar bone, across her chest, down into the valley between her breasts. I trace it with my finger, making her shiver in the warm water. Making her chest rise sharply on an inhale as my finger dips between her breasts, chasing that river. She’s not wearing a bra. The water is matting her tank top to her skin, turning it translucent. It hugs the perfect round of her breasts, the flat of her stomach. The peaks of her nipples hardening as my hand dips lower.

Harlow touches my bare hips, her hands like ice against my hot skin. It makes me jump. Makes my dick stand up straight, begging for her attention. She trips her fingers lightly over my hipbone, following the line down to the V over my crotch. The feel of her gets lost in my hair but comes back full force when her palm wraps around my cock; tight and slow. So slow. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. All I can do is feel her, want her, and I think that’s been my life up until now. I haven’t been myself until this moment. Until I had her in my hands.

I take her mouth, swallowing her gasp as I push her back up against the wall. She doesn’t stop stroking me, never missing a beat. Even as I take her tits in my hands, massaging them roughly, she keeps up her rhythm. It’s punishing how slow it is. How calm. It’s at odds with her mouth that’s devouring mine. She takes over, pushing her tongue against mine, licking the roof of my mouth, the back of my teeth. Her breath is short, desperate, and still it’s more composed than mine. I’m a man possessed as I touch her, as I take her. As I lower my head to kiss down her neck to her breasts, pulling a nipple into my mouth through her shirt.

Harlow arches back, a strangled moan escaping her lush lips. I take it as the encouragement it is, tweaking her other nipple hard between my fingers. She mewls, her pace on my dick increasing.

This is it. This is how my girl likes it; rough and raw. Desperate.

I slide my hands up her stomach, under her shirt, pushing it over her head. She releases me to lift her arms, and I take hold of her before she can get her hands on me again. I’m unbuttoning her pants, shoving the wet denim and silky underwear out of my way. I don’t bother getting them down entirely. They’re too wet, too tight, and I’m out of patience.

I spin her around, bracing her hands against the wall. Watching the water fall down her naked back, over her exposed ass. It’s round and perfect, better than her breasts, and I take my time touching it. Caressing her. She moans, thrusting it toward me, into my palms as I run them over its curves. She tenses when I slide my finger between her cheeks, but I move smoothly to her slit. To her heart where it’s hot and waiting for me, wet from so much more than just the shower. My fingers slip inside her easily – one, two, three – making us gasp. Making me so hard I think I’ll pass out.

I breathe deeply, steadying myself as I fuck her with my fingers. She opens her legs as wide as her pants will let her, letting me inside. I move in close to her, nestling my dick against her ass as I reach around to grab her breast. To trail my fingers down her stomach, past her hips, into the heat that’s devouring my other hand. I can feel my fingers moving in and out of her, coming back slick and hot. I use that wetness to swirl around her head, tickling her clit.

“Josh,” she growls, lowering her head. Her hands are white against the wall, clawing at nothing.

“You’re so wet, baby,” I mutter against her skin, biting her shoulder gently.

She shudders, leaning her head back. Giving me her mouth. I take it greedily, licking at her lips. Tasting her cries that rise in her throat as I pick up the pace, fucking her harder. Faster. Her clit is tightening under my fingers. Her lips quivering against mine. She’s close, and I think about giving it to her. I want her to feel good, always, but I need her too much tonight. I took the beating of my life to be with her, and I’m going to know what it’s like to love her. Open and completely.

I pull my fingers free of her, flicking her clit one last time to torment her. She whimpers unhappily at my retreat, but then I’m pulling on her hips, pushing on her shoulders, and she knows what I want.

She doesn’t hesitate to give it to me.

The water has started to run cold around us as I push my dick into her. She feels impossibly hot in comparison and I don’t hesitate to dive straight in. She’s wet enough, ready enough, and she takes me like she was made for me. Molds around me with a low, satisfied groan that I feel in my own chest.

“Jesus,” I whisper, lost in the feel of her. I run my hands soothingly down her back, taking gentle hold of her hips. “Fucking shit, you feel good.”

She thrusts her hips toward me, taking me in to the hilt.

I take the hint.

I pull out, holding her hips steady as they try to chase me. Then I drive back into her forcefully, burying myself inside her. She yelps in surprise, her hands slipping precariously on the wall. I hold her up as I pull out again. She’s ready for me this time. She pushes back against me as I impale her, her walls closing in on me tightly. I won’t last if she keeps this shit up.

“Easy, baby.”

“Easy is for pussies.” She tosses her wet hair over her shoulder, turning her head to look back at me. Her lips are curved in a sly, pink grin that makes my mouth water. That makes everything in the whole messed up world worth it. “Fuck me like a man, Strat.”

I nearly come right there inside her. My body is bruised and exhausted. My brain is getting foggy from the hits and the booze and the pills. But my heart beats strong inside my chest, pounding out her name, and I drive inside her with all the strength and energy I have inside me. I fuck her as long as my will allows, feeding off the sound of every moan, whimper, and plea that passes her sweet lips. And when I lose myself inside her, my life spilling from my body into hers, I forget to breathe. I forget to feel. I can’t see or think to save my life. All I can do is hold onto her, love her, and pray I’ll be man enough to do right by her for the rest of our lives.