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Damaged Love by Sarah J. Brooks (50)

Chapter 23

 

I don’t know how long I slept, but when I woke up, I went downstairs to find Marcus making breakfast and all the other guys were gone. The house was very quiet, especially since the guys had left and it was only Marcus and I. When I had first arrived, I didn’t think it was a working bed and breakfast, but as I watched Marcus in the kitchen, I thought that perhaps it was an operating business.

The feeling that we were lovers on a secluded vacation to this old bed and breakfast was wonderful. I smiled as I took in the scene of Marcus cooking and the beautiful summer day through the windows.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Marcus said as he flipped pancakes.

He wore only a pair of jeans, and they fit every muscular curve he had. I could stand and look at the muscles of his stomach forever. He didn’t have a six-pack; instead, it was more like an eight-pack. Each group of muscles genetically perfect and like they had been drawn onto his body by an artist.

“Morning Marcus,” I said as I sat at the table.

I continued to watch him work the kitchen like he knew exactly what he was doing. It was sexy as hell to see a man who knew his way around the kitchen. His hands worked quickly from one task to the next as he mixed the pancake batter, cut up strawberries, and poured orange juice.

He was certainly very good with his hands—that I knew from experience.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“God, yes, I felt like I slept for a week,” I said.

Marcus brought over a couple plates full of food and then some orange juice. We both sat there and ate in silence. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I had eaten. Maybe two days before when I was at Willow and Marv’s house? I shoveled in the pancakes and strawberries like a prisoner who had been denied food for weeks.

It surprised me how comfortable I felt with Marcus and his new beard. It looked good on him now that he was all cleaned up. I think he might have trimmed it at some point while I was asleep also. The curves of his beard matched perfectly with the edges of his chiseled jawline.

He sat there eating his food and every now and then glanced at me and smiled. It was a reassuring smile that I needed so very much. I still didn’t know what was going on, and although I was freaked out about it on the inside, I did try not to worry too much about it. I was there with Marcus now; nothing could go wrong with him there.

I saw the wound on his shoulder from the gunshot he had taken a few weeks before. It was all healed now with a raised red scar that had formed. My fingers traced over the scar, and I looked up at him.

I could still remember the day that he was shot with such vivid clarity. I still remembered seeing his partners carrying him out of his house and thinking that he was dead. I remembered shouting out to him and getting no response at all. The horror of that night was very fresh in my brain, and I doubted I would forget about it anytime soon.

“Does it still hurt?” I asked.

“No, it’s better.”

“Should I call Willow and Marv? I know they must be getting freaked out.”

“I called Sheriff Thomson and told him you were with me; he’ll let them know.”

Marcus handled things very efficiently. The fact that he knew who Sheriff Thomson was impressed me a great deal. Marcus was a smart man and seemed to think things through about ten steps ahead of everyone else. I couldn’t even imagine being able to think about steps that were so far ahead of the moment I was in.

“Okay, that’s good. I just didn’t want them to worry. How long are we going to stay here? Can I call Stanley and Rob?” I asked.

“Well, I would like it if you stayed here. But I have to go back to work for a little bit. And I called Stanley and asked him to let Rob know what was going on, I hope that is okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine. But why are you going back to work? Aren’t you done yet?”

“Not done yet,” he replied.

Panic struck my whole body as I thought about being left alone in the house. I knew we were far away from where the men had hurt Marcus, but I didn’t like the thought of being left without any protection.

“Will Zed be with me? Or one of the other guys?”

“No, they need to come with me on this mission. You will be alright. No one knows we are here except the owners of the property.”

“I won’t be safe,” I said as my voice cracked.

“You will be safe. I wouldn’t leave you here if I didn’t think you would be alright.”

I felt my breath get faster as I started to panic. I couldn’t be left alone; there was just no way that I would be alright.

“I’ll just come with you. Where are you going?”

“Babe, you can’t come with me. I’m going to be down in Chicago messing up some pretty bad guys. You need to stay here.”

Panic filled my body, and I felt my breath getting faster and faster. The color left my face, and I felt it drained all of the normal skin tone from my whole body. I was left with a pale face that felt like I was about to pass out. The room was closing in on me, and I felt extremely dizzy.

“I can’t stay alone,” I said as my hand shook.

Marcus grabbed both of my hands and held them firm in his hands. He looked me in the eyes, and I felt he was there with me. He didn’t condemn me for being scared; instead, he understood and that helped me calm down.

“I’ll give you a gun if you would like?”

I thought about it for a moment. I had never shot a gun before, but the idea of having one around did make me feel a little better.

“Will you show me how to use it?”

“Of course, after breakfast we can go out back, and I will show you. But I should only be gone for a day or two; you will be just fine. I promise.”

I couldn’t eat another bite of my breakfast, and instead waited for him to eat so he could show me how to shoot the gun. It made me feel much better to think I could at least protect myself if I had to, which, of course, I hoped I wouldn’t have to do. I had never been around guns and didn’t feel comfortable at all with the idea of having to fire one. But it was much better to be able to shoot the bad guys than to let them shoot me.

The cold metal of his gun felt sexy in my hands. I held the heavy gun and tried to point it at the target Marcus had set up for me on the other end of the yard. The weight of the gun made it difficult to keep my hands outstretched, though. My muscles just were not used to having to work that hard.

I relaxed my arms and the gun pointed toward the ground. It was silver, and I really didn’t know what type of gun it was. It was flat on the sides and had a slip of bullets that slid into the bottom of the gun. I wanted to know how to shoot it. I wanted to feel safe when Marcus was gone and feel like I could protect myself if I had to.

Marcus came over and showed me how to put the safety back on the gun.

“Anytime it is not in use, you have to have the safety on. This is essential. Do not forget it.”

The serious nature of his voice told me that it indeed was essential, and I would do my best to not forget about it. I hated guns, and never in my life would I have thought I would want to learn how to fire one. But there were a lot of things in my life that had changed in the previous weeks, so firing a gun wasn’t all that surprising.

It was a novelty to have a gun in my hand, but I didn’t like the responsibility that would come if I fired it. It would mean I could potentially take someone’s life. Obviously, I would only do that if it was someone who tried to take my life. But I didn’t have a lot of confidence in my abilities, and I still felt that the possibility of hurting someone who was innocent was always there. That was a really big deal and not something I took lightly. I doubted I would ever be able to actually fire the weapon, but it did make me feel better to know how to use it, just in case.

We remained in the backyard for a couple hours, and I tried repeatedly to shoot the gun and hit the target, without any luck. It was just too hard to hold the gun up and aim. I needed much more practice. I probably also needed to work out a little more.

My life consisted of working on my old house and taking pictures. I didn’t go to the gym, and I certainly didn’t spend any time lifting weights or working out in the traditional sense. Of course, I got exercise when I walked around and took pictures as well as all the things I did around my house as I remodeled it. But it certainly hadn’t provided me with large muscles.

“I’m never going to be able to shoot this thing,” I said out of frustration.

“Trust me; the moment you need to shoot this thing, you will know how to shoot it.”

He grabbed the gun from me, put the safety on it, and sat it on the table. Then he pulled me to him and let his lips crush down onto mine. He felt like home. When his arms wrapped around me, it felt like exactly where I was supposed to be.

I hesitate to think this, but I felt more comfortable with Marcus than I ever had with Michael. Perhaps it was because I was older and more comfortable with myself. Or maybe we were just a better fit, but for whatever reason, I really felt like myself when I was around Marcus. I felt like I could be the best person I wanted to be, and he would be right there beside me.

It wasn’t just the strength of his arms and his muscles that made me feel safe, it was him. It was Marcus and the way he totally and utterly devoted himself to me when I was there with him. He wanted me to feel safe; he wanted me to feel like I could handle being left alone for a couple days. I could tell that he cared about me and genuinely wanted me to be safe. That feeling was intense and drew me closer to him.

Our mouths continued to play as we explored the depths of each other. His strong hands moved lightly up and down my body and sent shivers of delight through my skin. God, it felt so good to have his hands on my body.

His fingers moved under my shirt, and I wiggled with delight as they touched my bare back. They moved up and down my back, and he pulled me in close to him. The intensity of his touch made me weak in the knees. Even after being together for several weeks, his touch was still so intense that I got wet right away. I wanted him; I always wanted him. Even when I was angry with him, I wanted him. There was no way around it.

I let my own hands move under his shirt and felt the goose bumps on his back. It made me happy to see that my touch also affected him the way his affected me. He was a quiet man and kept his feelings to himself, but his body reaction was always something he couldn’t control when he was around me. I liked that. I liked being able to see his body react to my body. It was so inspiring.

When his body reacted to mine, it made me want more. I wanted to see what else I could do to his body.

He must have thought the same thing because he unbuckled my shorts and let them fall to the ground. We were out in the backyard still, and I looked around to make sure there was no one nearby.

The bed and breakfast was far into the countryside, and there wasn’t a house for several miles. Although, occasionally a car did drive by the road in front of the house. I didn’t know why I was so afraid of someone seeing us; there was obviously no one around for miles and miles.

Then he moved my pink lace panties to the ground. His hand gently caressed my ass, and he turned me around to face the picnic table. He pressed my head down toward the table, and I felt him pull his cock out of his jeans after he lowered them to his knees. My ass lay bare and exposed to the light of the warm summer day.

I lay there in anticipation as his fingers played with me to ensure I was properly excited and ready for him. The excitement of the moment built up inside of me. I had never been outside like this when I had sex. It was intense and full of anticipation.

His cock entered me, and I let out a breath of excitement. I took another deep breath and felt him as he filled me up. His body fit perfectly with mine, and we moved in time with each other. Each thrust made him harder, and each thrust got me more and more excited.

I had never had sex outside, and the cool breeze against my body set every nerve on edge. My nipples hardened with the feel of the hard wood of the picnic table underneath them. It was rough and old and in total contrast to my smooth skin. My body relished all the new feelings as we moved together toward a climax.

Each new thrust was more intense than the last. I felt my knees get weak, and I was glad there was a table under me to hold me up. There was no way I could have stood of my own free will at that moment. My leg strength was not there, and I had nothing in reserve to keep me from tumbling to the ground.

Marcus held my hips with his hands, and I felt his release, and he exploded inside of me. He then reached around and moved his thumb against my clit in a pulsing motion and continued to thrust inside of me. His cock stayed hard until I finally exploded with my own orgasm. It was intense and different than any I’d had before. This time I felt satisfaction that moved throughout my entire body. I felt released from tensions I didn’t even know I had.

“Well, that was fun,” I said as Marcus turned me toward him and kissed me.

I still didn’t feel comfortable with him leaving me there, but I knew that he wouldn’t do anything that was going to put me in danger. So if he felt I could be safe, then I had to trust that I would be safe.

He packed up an old truck with some things that he wanted to take with him, and I stood there and watched him. It didn’t seem real that he was going to let me stay there alone. After all the work he had gone to in bringing me to the bed and breakfast and making sure I was safe, I still didn’t understand how he could feel I would be safe there all alone.

“I’ll be back in two days. There is nothing to worry about,” Marcus said.

“Famous last words,” I said with a smile.

“Seriously, relax. Take some time to enjoy this place. Sleep in, moisturize your hair, or whatever else you ladies like to do when you are alone.”

Marcus tried to make light of the situation, but I just couldn’t go there yet. I was scared, and I knew he could tell. There was nothing he could say or do that would make me feel safe alone at this place. But I knew he had to leave. The situation was intense with him and whoever he worked with in Chicago. I knew it was getting close to being over, and I longed for the day that we could comfortably cuddle in my house again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. I needed to feel his body next to mine for just a little longer. I needed to feel that things would be alright. I felt safe next to Marcus. I felt safe with him just being in the same house. I wasn’t ready for him to leave. I wasn’t ready for the uncertainty of being alone.

He held me tight and didn’t let go. I couldn’t tell if he was nervous about where he was going off to or if he just wanted me to feel more comfortable. It felt nice to have his arms around me, though. I felt safe at that moment.

Marcus kissed me and then got into his truck. He grabbed my hand and held onto it, pulled it up to his lips, and kissed it again. His lips felt warm and soft and were still surrounded by the roughness of his beard.

I watched as his truck pulled out of the driveway and turned down the old dirt road. It went on for miles, and I stood at the end of the driveway and watched him until I couldn’t see anything more than a speck in the distance.

I was alone.

All I could think about was how I had tried to avoid being alone for the last few years. I literally had multiple boyfriends to help ensure I wouldn’t have to be alone ever again. Yet here I was, stuck all alone without access to Stanley, Rob, or Zed.

Even though I was anxious and scared, something inside me told me that it was going to be good for me. I needed to try being alone. How would I ever know if I could handle it if I didn’t at least try? And luckily it was only going to be for a couple of days.

The sun was bright, and I felt its warmth on my back as I stood there. For that moment, I didn’t feel as afraid as I thought I would. Perhaps it was because Marcus had just left or maybe because it was daytime still, but I felt like I might be just fine.

I went into the house and saw the gun that Marcus had left for me sitting on the table. I had the safety locked on, and I smiled. That was exactly where I would leave the gun until bedtime, and then I would bring it up to my room and leave it on the nightstand next to me.

It felt weird to be so concerned about being alone. I had spent the last year utterly alone in my family’s old home. I had never worried about something bad happening to me. Often, I didn’t even lock my doors. But since Marcus had moved next door to me, everything had changed. I didn’t feel safe anymore. The bliss of the unknown had disappeared, and now I knew what could really be out there. Now I knew that people who would kill someone really did exist.

I wasn’t stupid, it’s not like I didn’t think bad peopled existed, but I just didn’t think any of them would ever bother me. I didn’t think that the life I lived would be of any interest to people like that.

I was a simple photographer from a small town in Missouri; I hadn’t hurt anyone ever, and I didn’t participate in a lifestyle that would harm others. The more I thought about it, the more it made no sense that I felt in danger at all.

Marcus was the one people were after. Why on earth would they bother to even come after me? I didn’t know them, and I didn’t know anything about what was going on. I didn’t have information that would benefit anyone. It would serve no purpose to anyone if I was hurt unless they believed that hurting me was a way of getting at Marcus. But that would mean these people knew that Marcus cared for me.

My brain was overwhelmed with thoughts of the past few weeks and all that had happened. I really didn’t want to feel afraid in this house, and the more I thought about everything, the better I felt. This would be a great time to concentrate on myself and relax. I did really wish I had my camera, though, that would have made this time perfect. Taking pictures of this old bed and breakfast would be the perfect start to my next series of photos.

I started to think about what all I could include in that new series. The idea to find old abandoned buildings and take pictures of their beauty was very appealing to me. I made a mental note to look more into that idea.

For now, I would just have to learn to relax like the rest of the world did. I would have to actually sit and enjoy the calmness of the environment around me. I pulled a chair from inside the house out onto the front porch and put my feet up with an old book I found on one of the shelves.

It had been years since I had sat in solitude and read, which was very sad considering how much I loved to read. But anytime I had spare time I often went to take photos; I was consumed with the search for the next best photograph and hadn’t taken the time to truly enjoy the other things in life that I had once found so pleasurable.

It was a warm day, and the heat of the sun seeped onto the front porch, and I drifted off to sleep as the afternoon wore on. I woke up after the sun had set with the book across my chest and hardly any light at all around the house.

Quickly I made my way inside the house. The darkness did not feel as safe as the light sunny afternoon had been. I locked the front door behind me and pulled all the curtains shut throughout the lower level. It felt much safer to have the curtains closed, at least in my head it felt safer. Obviously, if someone wanted to come after me, curtains would not keep them away. I knew this in my mind but not my heart.

I made myself some spaghetti and ate at the counter in the kitchen. The old house made a sound that I didn’t know at first; I froze still and waited to see if there would be another noise. It would be a long night of worrying about each noise, I was sure of that. I didn’t know this house well enough to feel safe with any of the unusual noises that I heard.

When I went to bed, I pushed a dresser in front of the door to ensure my safety. It made me feel much better, and I was actually able to get some sleep.

I woke up to the sun shining into the room and felt more refreshed than I had in a very long time. It was close to ten in the morning, so I went downstairs and looked around to make sure everything was safe. I looked through each of the windows to see if anything unusual was going on outside, but I didn’t find anything.

Finally, I felt safe enough to go sit on the front porch again. I picked up the book I had been reading and continued with the story. It was a very relaxing day. One of the most relaxing days of my entire life.

I watched as a couple cars drove by all day long, but none of them even looked over my way. The house did not have any vehicles parked there, and I probably wasn’t very noticeable just sitting on the porch.

After making lunch, I decided to explore the land around the house a little bit. Mentally, I took notes of pictures that I would like to come back and take later. If I ever got back to this place, I would certainly enjoy taking some pictures.

I looked through an old shed and played with some of the equipment that was around there. It all seemed like it was from another world, nothing like what people used in the current day on their farms.

When the sun set, I made my way inside and locked myself in the house again. I checked all the doors and windows to make sure they were locked tight, and I made my way back up to the room.

It was then that I realized I had left the gun next to the bed all day long.

I smiled, I must have felt safe all day or I certainly wouldn’t have left the gun up there. It was good to know that Marcus would be back the next day and hopefully done with all his work he was doing.

I fell asleep with the dresser in front of the door again. It was the second night of great sleep, and I had started to become familiar with all the sounds of the old house. Nothing bothered me at all, and I drifted off to sleep without a worry in the world.

The second morning I woke up with a feeling of excitement. Marcus said he would be gone for a day or two, so he should be back sometime that day.

I got into the shower and shaved my legs. I spent at least an hour blow drying my hair and making myself feel pretty. I was so excited to see Marcus again.

I spent some time dusting the house and felt like I owned it or something. I cleaned surfaces and put things away to try and make it look nice for when Marcus got home. Obviously, it wasn’t home, but it was where we were staying right then, and I wanted him to feel comfortable after his two long days of working.

When I finished cleaning, I sat back on the porch and tried to reach through the ending of the book I had started. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about Marcus, and I looked up in anticipation at each car that passed.

I went in quickly to grab lunch and later some dinner and then returned to the front porch. I wanted to be there waiting for him when he arrived. But as the day wore on and the night set in, I moved inside to the living room. I still went through my ritual of locking all the doors and closing the curtains, but instead of going upstairs, I waited for Marcus in the living room.

When I woke up to the sun the next morning, I didn’t know what was going on. Marcus had said he would be back in one to two days, this was the third day. I had no way of reaching anyone. No working phone, nothing for me to use to call Stanley or Rob.

I didn’t know how to reach Marcus or Zed, and I didn’t even know where I was really. I felt like I was just north of Chicago, but I could have been a hundred miles out of the city for all I knew.

Worry set in, but I tried not to let it overpower me. Instead, I went about my day again. Reading, lunch, cleaning, more reading, dinner, and then locking up the house.

But this pattern continued on for day after day, and Marcus never came back. Finally, after it had been a week since he left, I didn’t know what to do. I had plenty of food around the house; I wasn’t worried about that. But I didn’t want to be stuck at this abandoned house for weeks or even months. If something had happened to Marcus and his team, then there was no one that knew where I was. I would be stuck there forever.

I wanted to figure out what happened to Marcus or I at least wanted to go back home. One of those two things had to happen. Stanley had to be worried sick about me. I knew Willow and Marv would be worried as well. I wasn’t so sure how Rob was going to act, but I still wanted to talk to him as well. It had been a week since I was taken from my house, and Marcus had talked to them; surely people were worried about me by now.

So on the eighth morning, I packed a backpack full of food, water, and the gun that Marcus had left for me. I set out down the dirt road in the direction that I thought was south. I remembered there had been a major road a few miles down that way, and I planned to walk to that road and then hitch a ride into Chicago.

I didn’t know what I would do once I got to Chicago, and I didn’t know how I would ever get back home if that was what I decided to do. All I did know was that I couldn’t just sit at this abandoned bed and breakfast and wait for someone to rescue me. I had to figure out what happened to Marcus, and I couldn’t do that if I sat alone in that house for another moment.