Chapter 8

Jeni

I remember being bitterly cold, so cold I couldn’t feel my fingers or toes. I knew I was going to die in that hole. I just kept talking into the walkie-talkie until I couldn’t talk anymore. My throat was scratchy and dry, and I craved water. Everything was going fuzzy and I no longer cared. There was no way out of the hole, no way off the mountain and my head was throbbing. I’d hurt my ankle really badly and must’ve hit my head on a rock or something because I was fading fast.

I guessed freezing to death was going to be easier than dying in other ways I hadn’t the strength to imagine. I wanted to cry and mourn for my life, but I was too shattered to think clearly. The numbness was taking over my body and the hazy fog my brain was floating in only got thicker. In the midst of this strange inertia, I had a peculiar vision. The sun had already started to set, and was glaring in my eyes. As I moved to turn my head from it a human form blocked its brightness. It was a face haloed by the rays of the sun. A man with thick curls of long hair and a scruffy beard blocked my view. He reminded me of Jesus for some reason.

Jesus Christ himself had come to rescue me and take me to heaven. This all wasn’t so bad after all. And holy hell, I mean… heaven, was Jesus HOT! Wow, he was even more handsome than he looked on crucifixes. I mean, I knew Jesus was in a tight spot when he was on the cross, it wasn’t one of his best days, so he wasn’t looking as fucking gorgeous as he did when he came down from heaven to rescue me.

I wasn’t much of a churchgoer, but I promised myself if I didn’t go to heaven and god forbid anywhere else, I was gonna start attending church because Jesus was the most gorgeous man I’d ever laid eyes on. He was sexy and manly, with his crazy mountain man hair and his big strong arms which lifted me effortlessly out of my tomb.

He even had a deep husky voice. I think he said something, something really nice, but I couldn’t really make out what it was, I just stared at those deep blue eyes… oh yes, heaven, heaven, heaven. I hoped my eternity was going to be spent in hot Jesus’ arms and seriously, the only thing which would’ve made the vision better would be if Jesus made sweet love to me… and gave me a glass of water, I really needed both of those things.

I couldn’t believe I was thinking about Jesus’ cock when he placed me on a cold plastic sled, but sure enough it was at my eye level and while Jesus was wearing thick winter pants and a heavy jacket, I could see the bulge of his manhood as he bent over me and his jacket opened a little. Holy hell, did Jesus have a nice thick package all bundled up neatly in wool trousers.

Here I was almost dying and thinking of sucking Jesus’ dick; perhaps I wasn’t going to heaven after all. I closed my eyes and tried not to think of Jesus or anything else and just bumped along the uneven earth for what felt like an eternity. I looked up to the sky after a few moments and thought God was pretty much a rock star sending hot Jesus down to get me and all, but I would have been just a tiny bit happier in a warm soft bed.

I closed my eyes again and let the bumping and dragging lull me into a cold and uncomfortable sleep. When I woke up from that sleep, I was in fact in a warm and comfortable bed. I gave God a mental high five for a move well played. Hot Jesus came back, looking more corporeal and like a sexy mountain man than Jesus and gave me warm water and two little blue pills… and out I went again.

I woke up sometime later to hot Jesus/not Jesus undressing me… HALLELUJAH! I watched him as he gently removed my wet things. His face was wind-kissed and red around his cheeks. His skin was tanned under a thick overlay of beard but looked soft and touchable. His subtle lips poked through the scruffy beard and looked so kissable, but it was his piercing blue eyes which gripped my heart. I couldn’t take my gaze off them.

“Are you in any pain?” he asked.

I seem to remember him asking me that before. Was I in pain? I wasn’t sure; his face had me so mesmerized I had no clue what was going on with me and my body. I wiggled a little to assess the damage and the minute I moved, rockets of sharp biting pain sliced through me. Oh, that was uncomfortable. I tried to nod my head, but I think all I did was blink. I wanted to say something, but my mouth wasn’t working properly, and I couldn’t find my voice. All I could do was stare. What a mess. Nice first impression, Jeni.

His strong hand rounded behind my head and lifted it up to the water to drink again. As soon as he brought my head to the cup I realized I was wearing a bandage across my temple. When did he bandage my head? I was so fixated on the answer I let the water dribble down the front of me. Seriously? I was so embarrassed, I tried to smile, but it came out more of a crooked grimace. I was really losing at this flirting thing, which I shouldn’t have even been trying to do while completely munched up in the first place, but Mountain Man Jesus was just so yummy.

“I’m Dash,” Mountain Man Jesus said.

I wondered if was short for Dashing… wow. Again, I tried to speak, but all I was able to get out was a grunt.

“It doesn’t look like you’ve broken any bones, but you’ve got a pretty nasty sprain on your left foot and a bit of a knock on the head. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning, so try and get some rest. I can give you something to sleep if you’d like?” he offered, but I hoped he knew I wasn’t going to be able to give him much of an answer.

I garbled out something unintelligible.

“Maybe I should give you something,” he said it out loud, but I think he was talking to himself as I was proving to be not much of a conversationalist.

Then it hit me. Gramps and Lydia, they had to be worried sick. I needed to get to my phone, I had to let them know I was okay. Oh my god, they’d die if I didn’t get back home in time

A look of panic crossed my face and luckily Dash/Dashing Mountain Man Jesus picked up the facial cues.

“Are you okay?” his face knotted with concern.

I concentrated all my effort on my mouth, I had to make it move.

“I… I…” I was able to bark out.

“Yes,” he encouraged.

“I have to call…” that was about all I could muster, and boy did it take everything I had to rasp out those few words.

Since I wasn’t going to be able to say it, I decided to flail my arms out in the distance hoping he’d understand that to be the universal sign for “get my backpack.” He looked at me with a bewildered frown and then a light went off in his brain and he stood up from the chair he’d moved next to my bedside.

“Oh, yes, your bag is in the living room, let me get it. I’ll be right back,” he stood up and went to retrieve my bag.

ON MY GOD. He was a mind reader too.