By Thursday afternoon, I’m struggling to stay awake and focused in AP Lit. I’ve been working eight-hour shifts every night this week in exchange for getting both Friday and Saturday off for homecoming, and the late-night finishes are beginning to take their toll on me. Mr. Anderson has been discussing our answers to the questions on our summer reading assignment, and I’ve pretty much been snoozing during the majority of it. The only thing that’s keeping me sane today is that I have an off period next, which means I have an extra hour to spare before my shift at 4PM.
My head is resting on my crossed arms on the table, my eyes are half shut, and I’m wondering how I’ve lasted in this position for so long without being yelled at. It’s probably because I’m at the back, hidden behind other students, completely out of view. Just as I begin to yawn, the bell rings out and startles me. Voices rise and chairs scuff against the carpet as everyone races to the door. It’s Spirit Week, the week leading up to homecoming weekend and the only week of the year where being at school isn’t hell on earth. Each day is filled with activities to get us all hyped up for the game tomorrow night. And generally, everyone is pretty hyped up and excited, but I’m too exhausted to be one of them.
I don’t have a class to rush to next, so I pack up my stuff slowly and keep my head down as I pass Mr. Anderson. He doesn’t say anything as I leave, so I breathe a sigh of relief as soon as I’m in the hallway. It’s loud and packed as everyone switches classes, the hallways nothing more than a sea of colors for today’s Spirit Week theme, and I swiftly weave my way through the crowd as I make my way to my locker. En route, I spot Holden and Will approaching from the opposite direction. There’s no room to stop and chat without being knocked to the ground during passing period, so I quickly throw my hand up and wave over to them instead. Only Will waves back as he sticks his tongue out at me. Holden has his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground, but he does glance up for a split second and gives me a small smile.
It feels like I haven’t seen them in forever, because it’s only here at school during lunch that I’ve been able to catch up with them this week. I miss hanging out with them, so I’m excited for the game tomorrow night and the dance on Saturday. I still haven’t told them the full details about my night with Jaden on Saturday, other than that it went well. Until I know just what exactly is going on between Jaden and me, I’m going to continue keeping it on the down-low.
My steps are slow as I continue to head for my locker, and even though I try my best to stay as close to the wall as possible, everyone barges into me anyway. The rush dies down after thirty seconds or so as they begin to split up into their classes, and by the time I finally reach my locker, there’s only me and a few remaining stragglers left. The hallways are almost silent again apart from a guy cussing to himself as he runs past me, late for class, but I ignore him and pull open my locker. Casually, I begin switching textbooks around and stuffing the ones I need to take home with me into my bag.
Suddenly, someone presses their hand against the metal locker next to mine, and I instantly jump. I don’t even have to look to know that it’s Jaden. I haven’t seen him too much this week besides the occasional exchange of smiles as we pass each other in the hallways, which is always exciting every time it happens, given that a week ago I never did smile back. Other than that, I haven’t had much of a chance to actually talk to him, so I’m thrilled to have him standing in front of me now.
“Hey you,” he says, grinning widely, eyes smoldering. I can tell he’s in a good mood by the expression on his face, and although he’s wearing black jeans as usual, he’s also sporting a bright orange hoodie in support of the senior color. “I figured I’d catch you here.”
So he came looking for me? After last weekend, this is a good sign. I feel giddy, but I try to play it cool. “Yeah, I have an off period,” I tell him as I step back and shut my locker, swinging the strap of my bag back over my shoulder. I don’t own a single piece of clothing that’s orange, so I’m not as committed to today’s theme as he is. “Do you?”
“Nope,” he says, popping his lips on the “p”. He leans his shoulder against the lockers and then he shrugs. “I have calculus, actually. None of my teachers want to yell at me if I’m late. It used to piss me off, but then I just decided to start taking advantage of it, like taking a quick detour past your locker just in case you’re here.” Sheepishly, he glances down at the ground. “Luckily, you usually are.”
Until now, I always believed it was just a coincidence that Jaden and I ended up passing each other every time I was at my locker after AP Lit. Apparently, it’s not as random as I thought it was, and there’s something endearing to me about the thought of Jaden walking past my locker to see me, even when I kept my head down and couldn’t bring myself to smile back. His honesty has me smiling from ear to ear as my cheeks heat up. I’m blushing, I know it, but at this point, I don’t care if Jaden notices or not.
“Yep, always here!” I joke, then nod to his attire, still smiling. “Nice hoodie. Ready for the game tomorrow?”
“Don’t lie,” Jaden says, shaking his head in disagreement as he glances down at the bright orange fabric. He rolls his eyes and tugs at the drawstrings. “It’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever worn, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?” He straightens up again and pretends to brush dirt off his shoulders, and I laugh, forgetting that although Jaden is incredibly attractive, he’s also extremely playful and a little goofy at times. “I’m as ready as can be! Greeley West’s offense better watch out. Are you coming?”
“To the homecoming game?” I repeat blankly. “No, I think I’ll pass.” As I shrug my shoulders, Jaden’s smile begins to falter, but before it disappears entirely, I quickly drop the act and laugh loudly, rolling my eyes at him. “Of course I’m coming!”
“You had me there,” he admits, chuckling. Mindlessly, he brushes his thumb over his birthmark as he checks the time on his phone. I watch him, slightly mesmerized. “I should get to class,” he says, frowning. I’m enjoying our quick exchange, so I really wish he didn’t have a class right now, but unfortunately, calculus is calling his name. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“I’ll be in the stands,” I tell him with a small, awkward wave. God, I think. I’ve never gotten nervous around guys before. Hell, I didn’t even get nervous around Jaden a year ago, but for some reason, I’m awkward and embarrassed around him now.
Jaden turns to head off to his class, then smirks over his shoulder and quips back, “I’ll be looking for you.” He gives me a small wink and pressure builds in my chest as I watch him walk away. I don’t want him to leave.
We’re the only two people in the hallway now, and with my hand on the strap of my bag, I enjoy watching Jaden wander down the corridor. Just as I’m noticing how perfectly broad his shoulders really are, he pauses and swivels back around to face me. That crooked smile that I can’t get enough of appears, and, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he calls, “Win or lose, will you wait up for me after the game?”
I part my lips to answer him, but no words seem to find their way to my mouth. Instead, I smile at him and nod. Of course I’ll wait for him after the game. I have to wait for Holden anyway, but even if I didn’t, I’d still wait.
Satisfied, Jaden nods back and then turns again. I watch him for a few more seconds until he rounds the corner and disappears out of sight completely, leaving me desperate for tomorrow night to arrive.
Sighing, I decide not to hang around any longer, so I turn in the opposite direction, ready for the dreaded walk home while my shoulder bears the weight of my bag. Walking past the front office toward the main doors, I notice a familiar face up ahead, turning into the library. It’s Dani, who has pretty much blanked me the entire week during Spanish class, despite saying hey to her several times. She is always quiet and reserved, but that’s not going to stop me from continuing to make an effort with her. I know she’s skipping the homecoming dance on Saturday, but that doesn’t mean she has to skip the game tomorrow night. I want her to go to the game. I want her to have fun. I want her to get involved. I want her to hang out with me again.
Speeding up, I make for the library door and enter after her. The library is silent with only a few juniors and seniors scattered around, some at the computers, some at the desks, one searching the shelves. I spot Dani settling down at a table in the center of the room, opening up a book and hunching herself over it.
Mrs. Bolan, our librarian, smiles to greet me as I pass her desk. I don’t use the library at all, so I doubt she even knows who I am. Nonetheless, I smile back and keep on walking toward Dani. She doesn’t seem to notice me approach, because she doesn’t look up from her book. Either that, or she just pretends not to.
“Hey,” I whisper as I slide into the chair next to her. I reach into my bag and grab the first book that comes to hand—my Physics textbook—and set it down on the table in front of me, opening it to a random page so that it looks like I came here for a purpose other than cornering her.
Dani glances sideways at me, exhales deeply, then looks back down at her book and continues reading. She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to, because hostility is radiating from her. She is impossible to figure out. She says she is sick of no one treating her the way they used to, but when we do, she seems to assume our efforts are fake or out of pity. They’re not. I care about her.
Feeling awkward, I stare blankly down at my own book, pretending to read a few pages for a couple of minutes in the silence that surrounds us. I spend the time mentally hyping myself up before I attempt to talk to Dani again. She makes it extremely difficult, and this uncomfortable tension is exactly what I was afraid of. I’m trying my best to break through it, but it’s a hell of a challenge. “Are you going to the game tomorrow?”
“No,” she says without looking up.
“You should come,” I urge, even though she isn’t paying me any attention. Trying to reason with her, I prop my elbow up onto the table and bend forward, trying to invade her line of sight. “It’s homecoming, Dani. You can’t miss it. I’m sure Jaden would love to see you there again.”
Out of nowhere, Mrs. Bolan pops up by my side and scares the hell out of me when she hisses, “Shhh.” Her eyebrows are furrowed with disapproval.
“Sorry,” I whisper, holding up my hands in surrender and giving her a polite, apologetic smile until she turns and walks back over to her desk. As soon as she sits down, I quickly twist my body back to face Dani, who still has her eyes fixated on her book. “Please come with Will and me,” I whisper, careful to keep my voice down this time. “I really, really want you to come. I don’t want you to miss out.”
Heaving a drastic sigh of defeat, Dani slaps her book shut and fires her gaze up to meet mine, folding her arms across her chest. Like me, she isn’t wearing any orange today. “Kenzie, I get it. You’re trying to make amends, and I appreciate that, but I like being alone, and I’m not going to the game.” She says her words with such firm finality that I realize instantly that there’s not much of a fight here. As she opens her book again and returns to reading as though I’m not even here, I grab my Physics textbook and ram it back into my bag.
“Actually,” I say, rising to my feet, “I’m asking you to come to the game because I want you to, not because I’m trying to be a Good Samaritan, or because I feel like I have to, or because I’m trying to earn your forgiveness. It’s as simple as that,” I tell her truthfully. I’m not even whispering anymore and I don’t care if I sound harsh, but I’m quickly learning that some tough love is sometimes necessary when you care about someone. “You have friends, Dani,” I continue, looking down at her. She’s still staring at the pages of her book, but I know she’s listening. “I know I haven’t exactly acted like one the past year, but I’m your friend. And friends do stuff together, like go to the damn homecoming game.”
Feeling exasperated, I swing the strap of my bag onto my shoulder and am about to march off when I remember something. I drop my eyes back to Dani, studying her intensely while I recall the photograph of her parents in Jaden’s room. “By the way, I didn’t notice it before, but with your dark hair you look just like your mom,” I say gently, and with that, I turn and walk away.
“Kenzie,” Dani says after a few steps. I pause and turn back around, my lips pressed together into a thin line as she stares at me. “You really think so?”
“Yeah,” I say with a small shrug. I hope I haven’t upset her. “I saw a photo the other night in Jaden’s room.”
“It’s gone a little darker than hers,” Dani says quietly, glancing down at the ends of her hair as she runs her fingers through them. “I couldn’t find her shade, and I cut it too short, so it sort of backfired, but thanks.” Her eyes meet mine and remarkably, she gives me a sincere smile full of gratitude. I’m surprised by her words, because like everyone else, I assumed Dani’s drastic change in appearance was the result of emotional trauma. Only now do I realize that, actually, there was a reason behind it.
Still smiling, Dani tucks a loose strand of her dark hair behind her ear and pulls her book onto her lap, getting comfortable. Just before I turn to finally leave, she glances up one last time. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot before the game.”