Maddox

There was a fire in her. I tried to stay away from it. I tried to put it out with the cold dark heart that sat frozen in my chest. But thoughts of last night had taken over my every breath.

Tracy Plumb was impossible to resist and damn tough to ignore.

She walked to the truck with a fierce look in her eyes. I didn’t know what it was or why she appeared to be ready to wrestle dragons, but I couldn’t look away. I had wanted to shut her down, turn her off, and push her away. It was the only way to salvage the hot as fuck kiss from last night.

I wasn’t to be trusted if I got close to her, so the best plan was not to get close again.

Except that walk, those eyes, the way she smelled, and most of all the intensity she did everything with…

It was clear my Dad was already one hundred percent in love with having her around. She’d helped him up but without making him feel like an invalid. She’d thought of ways to care for Olivia in the first twenty-four hours that we hadn’t thought of in three months.

She got in the truck and busted me.

“What are you staring at? Let’s go.”

I tried not to smile.

“White Hall Road?” I asked her.

“Yes.”

I eased the truck down the driveway.

As we drove it was easy to see Tracy was agitated. I wasn’t going to bite. This wouldn’t be any smoother if I got to know her more. Even though that’s exactly what I wanted to do.

We made our way to the store in silence. I didn’t like small talk and my shooting her down had apparently worked like it was supposed to. I should have been happy about that, but I wasn’t. I wanted her. It was as simple and complicated as shit could be.

We got the grab bars she said Dad needed and loaded them into the truck.

Other than anything that absolutely had to be said we were quiet. But somehow that felt normal. Having her near me felt normal. Like she was supposed to be there.

“You okay to install these on your own?” I asked as we brought the bars into The Castle.

“Well, I suppose I can figure it out. I just need to know where your tools are.”

“I’ll show you after we unload this stuff.”

If she was going to make improvements, she might as well know where things were. I may have kicked her out of my life, but Dad wasn’t going to let Tracy Plumb go anytime soon.

We walked out to the service shed together and opened it up.

“Just about anything you’d need is in here.”

We walked into the shed and I pulled the light. She looked around. It was a big shed, but it was still a shed. We had been near each other all day and I was having a harder and harder time not being hard as a fucking rock around her.

My hands itched to hold her again.

“Can you reach that for me?” She pointed to the drill on the wall.

I grabbed it for her and placed it on the workbench behind her.

“Anything else?”

She looked around the shed.

“Yes.”

“Well?” I waited for her next request.

She stepped forward.

“Pick me up and kiss me.”

In one swift motion I had her in my arms and the kiss that had started last night continued – hotter, faster, and harder. I probed her mouth with my tongue. I had her up on the workbench and her fingers were running through my hair.

“God, oh God,” she said as I devoured her neck. Her skin was so sweet and soft. She leaned back, and I slid my hands up under her t-shirt, which was driving me crazy.

“Fuck.” I’d spent the day trying not to touch her. Trying to tell myself the kiss last night wasn’t as fucking hot as it was.

I wanted her naked. I wanted to lay her out and taste every inch of that sweet skin.

I pushed her t-shirt up over her breasts and for a second couldn’t really believe my eyes. She was so lush, full, and her nipples strained at her lacy white bra. I stroked lightly once and then pulled hard on them. I couldn’t hold back. I buried my head in the delicious space between her tits. We were so far gone in so short a time.

I pushed the cups aside and sucked hard. She cried out. I needed to get inside of her. The life I’d denied myself for months was straining to break free.

I’d lived like a monk, with one focus, and no time or interest in anyone or anything else. And now all I could see, all I wanted to see or do, was Tracy fucking Plumb.

Nothing was stopping me. She was with me. She’d wanted this.

“You are going to regret this,” I said, and I knew it was true. The words came out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them. I had to stop. I had to push her out of my life. Fast. Now. And for good.

“No. I won’t.”

We moved together, our bodies finding points at which to connect in ways our brains didn’t direct.

“Yes. You will. You’re in my fucking shed and you’ve got a ring on your finger.”

We were talking to each other between kisses, both of us breathing hard and trying to talk ourselves out of something that felt perfect.

I wasn’t usually the guy to worry about that – how a woman might feel about fucking around. A year ago, I could have had any woman in any place, pretty much at any time. The problem was this wasn’t just any woman.

I felt a powerful connection to her. I wanted to fuck her, own her, protect her, love her, and it almost made me forget everything else. Almost.

I stopped myself from the fast progress I had been making towards getting her naked and underneath me. With a will I didn’t think I had, I put on the brakes.

“So, you’re not interested. Great. This is embarrassing.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying … if you’re doing this to get back at, what’s his name? – Ted – I’m not interested.”

“I’m not. I’m doing it because I – fine. Forget it. I’m sorry I asked.”

I had hurt her, humiliated her.

She pulled herself together. Her body was closing off, shutting down, turning away.

“Look at me.”

I grabbed her by the wrists and she struggled.

“Maddox, please. I read you wrong. This isn’t like me. Please just let me go.”

I decided to seal the deal and be as vile as I could stomach.

“I’m not here to be your walk on the wild side. Are you trying to get your kicks before you turn into a wifey?”

“No, that’s not what this is.”

“Than what is?”

“I don’t know,” she said, and I let her wrists go. She’d gone from wanting me to wanting me dead; I saw it in her eyes. My deliberate attempt at being a dick was working like a charm. She’d run screaming from this place, and it would be for her own good.

“Yeah? It’s clear you don’t know what you want, Tracy. Go back to your little fiancé. My life isn’t your speed.”

I turned and left her in the shed.

It was hard as hell leaving her there, stopping, and not going back and kissing the hurt off her face.

But it was for the best. She didn’t need my mess. And she was too sweet to get tangled up in the world I lived in. The idea of someone else I cared about getting hurt because of me, because of my life, was too much.

I was responsible for ruining Olivia’s life. My Dad and I, The Dark Saints, our club bullshit destroyed the best things in this world.

I had to make sure Tracy Plumb had no illusions about just what type of man I was. I had to be sure she wanted no part of me.

Because I did know my limits. We had gotten so close to letting go, twice. And I knew there was no way I could keep my distance if it happened again.

I had to be sure she didn’t want me.

I had to be sure she would run.