Amanda

 

I can’t sleep now, not after sharing what I did earlier. There’s a storm inside me now.

 

Even though I’m relieved, somewhat, to not be carrying this burden on my own anymore, I can’t stop my mind from racing. What’s Lucas going to do now that I blocked him? When he sees I have no intention of replying, he’s going to spiral out of control, I know it. I have to try to get in contact with my mom in the morning to ask if she gave him my new address. I’m terrified he’s going to show up out of the blue.

 

Christopher will keep me safe. That’s the thought that keeps popping into my head every time I get too worried. He’ll protect me. But I won’t always be with him, will I? What happens when I leave? And I do have to leave eventually, of course. I can’t be with him forever. Once I’m alone, I’ll be vulnerable.

 

I’m even more attracted to him than ever. I saw the rage in his eyes and it turned me on. What’s wrong with me that I actually, legitimately got hot when I saw how badly he wanted to hurt Luke once he read those texts? What’s broken inside me?

 

Whatever it is, it made me want Christopher even more. I’m aching for him, as wrong as it is. I squeeze my legs together, noting how warm and tingling I am. He’s just what I need right now. Someone strong, powerful, commanding, even dangerous. But not to me. To the person who hurt me. It’s like an aphrodisiac, knowing there’s a person who’d be willing to hurt another person for my sake. And I know he would. I get the feeling he’s chomping at the bit.

 

Yes, I want him. But for now, we’re back in bed. In separate rooms. And I’m struggling to finally fall asleep and forget this for a while. Sleep is elusive, though. I wonder if some warm milk wouldn’t help. Maybe with a little whiskey. Do the two even go together? Well, it’s worth a try. I’m desperate enough to try anything at this point.

 

I pad downstairs, two pairs of knee socks quieting my footsteps. I stop short when I see Christopher there, by the fire. He’s wearing boxers and nothing else, just as he did last night. I’m torn between wanting to turn away and slip back upstairs before he notices me and wanting to go to him. He’s like a magnet, drawing me closer against my will.

 

It’s too late. He knows I’m standing here, his head moving ever so slightly in my direction. As though he can’t decide what he should do either.

 

My feet are moving before I know what I’m doing, taking me to his side. I stand there, next to him, feeling the heat from both the fire and his body, burning into me. One strong, muscular arm slides around my waist before he looks up into my eyes. We don’t need to say a word. There’s nothing to say now anyway.

 

I straddle his lap, pulling the oversize tee over my head and throwing it to the floor before wrapping my arms around his neck. He sighs, pulling me close for another soul-shattering kiss. I’ve never been kissed like this before, so completely. Like he’s trying to reach inside me and draw me out. We’re both searching for something as our tongues wrap around each other. But we’re not as frantic as we were this afternoon. We’re going slow, taking our time.

 

His hands move slowly up, then down my back. Over and over. The warmth from the fire is nothing compared to the heat his hands unleash in me. He sucks my bottom lip between his own, pulling slightly, using his teeth. I rock my hips against him, reminding him of the power I have.

 

My head falls back, his mouth now trailing my jaw, then down my throat. He’s going so painfully slow, licking every inch of my skin. I hear the whimpers coming out of my mouth and I don’t care. I have to find some way to tell him what he’s doing to me.

 

His head dips lower, his tongue dancing over my chest to my tits. My nipples are already rock-hard, waiting for his mouth. When his lips close around one stiff peak I cry out, digging my nails into his back. I lean farther away, giving him better access. He holds me up like I weigh nothing.

 

He moves to the other nipple and, again, I cry out, now moving my hips in slow circles against him. We’re so close to each other, only a few thin layers of cotton separating us. I feel his hard length against me, hear him groan as I make contact again and again. The pressure against my mound is driving me crazy, and I feel my panties getting soaked through.

 

“So good,” I manage to moan between gasps for air. I’m breathless, my chest heaving. I need him so much it’s painful, my clit throbbing.

 

I reach down to where I know he’s straining to get out of his shorts and slide my hand inside. It’s his turn to moan when my fingers make contact with him and wrap around his thick shaft.

 

“Shit,” he whispers, his head falling back this time.

 

I run my tongue along his throat, nibbling him as I stroke his cock. I’ve never been so brazen, but I’ve never felt any of this before. Like I want to devour him, and be devoured. “You like that?” I whisper breathlessly, gripping him. He moans again and I feel him throb in my hand. My own pussy clenches in reply.

 

“Suck it,” he groans. “Please…suck it…”

 

I climb from his lap and sink to my knees. I’ve never liked doing this, but with him it seems natural. I want to. I love the pleading sound of his voice and want him to beg for more. For once, I have power over him.

 

When my lips close over the head, he lets out a shuddering gasp. I take my time, not confident in my skill, but the sound of his reactions leads me in the right direction. The way he gasps, groans, and urges me on builds my confidence and gets me even hotter than before.

 

He takes a handful of my hair, massaging my scalp with his fingers. “That’s right, baby. Just like that. That’s so good.”

 

I can’t take all of him into my mouth, gagging around three quarters of the way down, so instinctively I stroke the rest with my hand and use it as an extension of my mouth. I keep up my slow, deliberate pace, licking as I go.

 

Soon, he’s thrusting into my mouth and I know he’s getting close. I suck harder now, wanting him to come in mouth. I can’t believe this change in me. I want to feel dirty, do things I’ve never done. He tries to stop me, to pull out, but I won’t give up. He has no choice but to let go, shooting his load straight down my throat. He grunts once, twice as he spurts deep into me. I hold him in my mouth until I know he’s finished, then let him slip out.

 

He’s breathing heavily, with a smile on his face. I feel good, knowing I’ve pleased him.

 

“So’s how it’s gonna be?” he asks once he catches his breath. I don’t have time to answer before he pulls me to my feet and rips off the boxers and panties. He kneels on the floor and pulls me down with him, then pushes me back until I’m stretched out in front of the hearth, the rug under my back.

 

Without another word, his head is between my legs, giving me all the pleasure I just gave him. He licks my smooth mound, which I know is slick with wetness. “Taste so good…” I hear him groan in between long laps of his tongue against my swollen lips.

 

I’m in heaven, eyes closed, almost not breathing. Just focused on the sensations he’s causing. Soon, I’m begging him for more.

 

“More what?” he asks, running his thumb over my mound, not yet dipping inside.

 

“Please, eat me!” I nearly scream it, not caring how I sound. I just want to come and end this agony. I’m rewarded by the feeling of having my lips spread, then the indescribable bliss of the first touch of his tongue on my aching clit. I arch my back, crying out again and again. His tongue flicks back and forth, then up and down. He sucks my bud between his lips, then goes lower.

 

I’m lost in sensation, my head rolling from side to side as a long series of moans flows from me. My whole body begins to tense as the pressure builds, my breathing quickens. I’m so close, so ready. He reads my reaction and attacks my clit with a furious series of flicks with the tip of his tongue. That does it—I’m screaming, my thighs gripping his head, my back arched as the day’s built-up tension explodes inside me, then flows over and through me.

 

Still he doesn’t stop. Now he slides two fingers into me, still pulsing from my orgasm. I hardly know what he’s doing, only half-conscious in the afterglow. The beautiful waves are still rolling over me to crest higher and higher as Christopher’s fingers begin pumping in and out of me. Instead of the blissful feelings dying off, they get stronger. I start climbing again, screaming now, the pleasure almost too much to handle. I’ve never come twice like this before and I’m not sure I can handle it.

 

“Fuck, Christopher!” I scream, clawing at his shoulders as the second climax washes over me. I notice wetness on my cheeks and realize I’m crying. The whole thing is so surprising I don’t know what to think. My entire body is trembling from the force until it passes, and I’m left in wonder of what just happened. I didn’t think it was possible.

 

I feel his fingers leave me and I moan softly. I reach for him, needing to be held. He takes me in his arms, but instead of staying beside me on the floor he stands. He carries me with him up the stairs, into his bedroom. I don’t fight him. I don’t want to.