Chapter Seventeen
Silas
I lay in bed that morning, listening to the songs that had always inspired me. I had a collection of them on my music player, and as I plugged in the earphones, I allowed myself to imagine that it was me singing them. Me up on stage. Me looking out onto the large crowd of people that had come out specifically to see me play. It had always motivated me, but today it just made me feel sad. Was this how my life was always going to be? Was I always just going to be the one dreaming about being a singer but never actually becoming one? It was a big dream. One that I was sure many people had in their lives. And maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that I was just going to be another statistic. I’d play at a few venues, maybe make a little bit of extra cash on the side. Maybe that would have to be good enough.
Of course, that wasn’t good enough. If I couldn’t become the big singer that I wanted to become then maybe it was better that I didn’t sing at all. It would just hurt too much, chasing a pipe dream. I pulled the earphones out of my ears and switched off the music. I was just about to get up and get ready for work when my phone rang.
“Hello. Silas speaking.”
“Silas. It’s Able.”
“Able? Oh, I didn’t recognize your number. Your name didn’t come up.”
“Oh yeah, sorry, I got a new number.”
“Okay great. I’ll make sure I save this one then.”
“Uh. Okay. But, well, it might not be the same the next time I call you. I might be getting a new phone. Long story,” he said. He seemed distracted. I wondered if he was driving while talking to me. I wouldn’t be surprised. Able wasn’t the most law-abiding citizen that I knew. He had always had a reckless side to him.
“Cool, man. So, what’s up?” I asked. It was weird to hear from him again. I hadn’t heard from him in forever and then suddenly he was in my life again.
“Oh, nothing’s up. I just wanted to see if you still had that package I gave you.”
I’d actually forgotten about the package. I looked toward the closet where I had stored it. “Yeah, man. It’s still here. Did you want to come and get it?”
“No. Actually, I was just wondering if you could keep it for a little longer. I’ll get it out of your hair soon though, I promise.”
“Yeah, of course, man. I don’t mind. It’s just sitting in my closet anyway,” I said. The closet was so big that it was lost inside. I liked having all this space now.
“Great. Well, thank you, Silas. I appreciate it.”
“Ah, it’s no big deal at all. Just let me know when you want it back.”
“Will do. Keep well. I better get going. I’m driving, and I think I saw the cops.”
I shook my head. I knew it. I thought of reprimanding him but thought the better of it. He was a nice guy, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t take too kindly to someone telling him what to do.
“Sure, man. See you around.”
I climbed out of bed, took a shower, and made my way downstairs. Riley wasn’t around, but I remembered her saying that she was going to see Paisley that morning. I made myself a cup of coffee and thought a bit about how things were going between the two of us. We had slept together once more during the week, but she hadn’t spent the night in my bed. Neither of us had spoken about whether or not we were a couple, or what was going on. In a way, it was nice. We went on with things as they were before, and I was glad that things were still so good between us. But, I also sometimes wished that we could sit down and talk about whether or not we wanted a relationship together. I knew I did, but I wasn’t so sure about Riley. I didn’t bring it up mostly because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I figured that it would naturally progress toward something more. I hoped so at least. If nothing happened in a few weeks, I would have to bring it up. I wanted her to know how much I liked her.
After coffee and breakfast, I went to work. Gary had asked me to come into work a little early that day. He said he wanted to talk to me. I was pretty nervous. When your boss asks you to come into work early to talk, it can only mean two things—either he was going to promote me, or he was going to fire me. I had very little reason to believe that he would promote me considering I wasn’t even working full-time for him. There were many other guys there that had worked far longer than me. I hoped he wouldn’t fire me though; as much as I didn’t want to work there full-time, I still needed the money.
I made my way to his office with a feeling of trepidation over me. If I didn’t have this construction job to do, then I was going to have to start looking for something else, and that was something I wasn’t looking forward to. At least, with this job, Gary knew where I was coming from. He knew that I wasn’t in it for the long haul and he didn’t mind. With another job I might have to lie and tell them that I’m looking for something permanent even when I’m not. Nobody would want to hire someone that had their hearts set on something else. Even I wouldn’t want to hire me. When I knocked on the door, Gary saw me and smiled. The smile put me at ease. It didn’t seem like the sort of smile that you’d give to someone before you fired them. Of course, I knew I could be wrong, but it at least made me feel a little better.
“Thanks for coming in early, Silas,” he said.
“Yeah, no problem at all. Is everything okay?”
“Sure, pull up a seat,” he said, and I took a seat in front of him. He offered me some coffee, but I was feeling too nervous to have more caffeine.
“You look worried?” he said.
“I am. Are you firing me?” I asked. I figured I might as well just get it over with and ask him upfront.
He laughed and looked at me as if I was crazy. “You think I called you hear to fire you? Why would you think that? I thought you knew how much I liked you. Everyone here likes you.”
Relief washed over me. “I don’t know. I guess I just jumped to conclusions.”
“You certainly did. I can assure that is definitely not why I called you over here. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Have you met Henry before?”
“Henry Toll? The red-head?” I asked as an image of a burly man with a mop of bright red hair came to the forefront of my mind. I had nothing against the man, but I had never really liked him. He wasn’t the friendliest man I had ever met, that was for sure.
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“I’ve met him, but I don’t really know him at all. We’ve just sort of bumped into each other once or twice over the years. Isn’t he one of your project managers?”
“Was one of my project managers,” Gary said and grimaced. “Well, I guess he still is, but I’m not sure for how much longer. This is just between the two of us, though. I haven’t talked to anyone about it. I have a meeting with him later today. Things aren’t going too well with him, and it’s starting to hurt the company. At the end of the day, I have to do what is right for the company, and at the moment I think that means that I’ll have to let him go.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, I’ve heard some rumors about the guy. I never said anything though because I have no idea what’s true or not.”
“They’re probably true. So, if things keep going the way they are, then a spot is going to up soon, and we’re going to have to replace him. Of course, you’re one of the first people that came to mind. Nothing is definite, but I wanted to let you know anyway.”
“You want me to become a project manager?” I said surprised.
“Of course. You’re great at it. I know you don’t have as much experience as some of the other guys, but you’re right for the job. And I’m not the only one that thinks that. Of course, I know that this is not what you wanted when you first started working with me, but I think it would be great to have you as part of the team. What do you think?”
I sat back and whistled. It wasn’t at all what I had expected to happen at the meeting. Did I want to work full-time with him? If I did, it would mean putting my dreams on hold or forgetting about them completely. I would only get ahead in my music career if I gave it everything I had. Working full-time as a project manager would take too much of my time. But, should I let this opportunity go just because of a dream that might never come true? I felt torn. Gary could obviously see my hesitation.
“Look, I know you want to become a singer. And you really are talented. But you’re also great at this. Look, don’t give me an answer now. I have no idea how long all of this is going to take anyway. Could be weeks. Could be months. Could be days. Who knows. Let’s just play it by ear. How about I just keep you posted and you just use this time now to decide whether or not it’s something you want?”
“That sounds like a great idea. And thank you, Gary. It’s a lot to think about, but I think you might be right. Perhaps this is the future I should be looking at. Do you need me on site today?”
“Yeah, I do actually. Just don’t mention of this to the guys, okay?”
I nodded. “Sure thing.”
But news gets around fast, and when I got to the site, I heard some of the guys talking about me becoming the next project manager. I pretended like I knew nothing about what they were talking about but I knew they could see straight through me.
“You better say yes,” one of the guys said. The other guys agreed. And while I was flattered by the compliments, and honored by the opportunity, there was a big part of me that felt sad about it all. Did this mean that my dream was coming to an end? Was this the end of my singing career?
I didn’t enjoy work as much as I usually did that day. It was okay when I had thought about it as a temporary thing. But the idea of suddenly doing it every day made me feel incredibly uneasy. It wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. It had never been my life’s ambition. I hoped that Gary took a long time to decide whether or not he needed me. I didn’t want to have to make the decision anytime soon. Although, deep down, I think I knew that I was going to have to say yes if it was offered to me. It was time to start thinking about my future in a more realistic way.