Cooper Creek, Alabama

Mama was passed out. Again.

Shaking my head in disgust, I carried the grocery bags that I held in my hands to the kitchen and sat them on the counter. Then, I walked back into the living room and kneeled beside the sofa where she was lying with her arms thrown over her head and her mouth hanging partially open.

Wrapping my fingers around her bone-thin shoulders, I gave her a quick shake. “Mama,” I barked. “Wake up!”

When she didn’t flinch, I shook her again.

She still didn’t move.

Gaze sliding to the right, I spotted an opened, half-empty bottle of beer sitting on the worn-down end table. Grabbing it, I leaned closer to mama’s ear and hollered, “Last chance, mama. Either you wake up right this instant or you’re getting a face full of stale beer and cigarette butts.”

She groaned and turned her head to the side. After smacking her lips together twice, she mumbled, “Leave me alone.”

“Sorry, Mama, I can’t do that.” She needed to get up and eat something. If she didn’t, she’d wither away.

Why I cared, I didn’t know. It’s not like she ever gave a damn if I ate or not.

“Leave me the hell alone, Shelby.” She groaned before smacking her lips again.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” I positioned the amber colored bottle over her face and turned it upside down. A mixture of pale beer and Pall Mall ashes splattered across her face, streaking the rouge tinted makeup she wore caked on her cheekbones.

Gasping, she jerked upright on the sofa and wiped at her face with quick, jerky movements. “Damn it, Shelby Ray!” She blinked in shock before cutting her hate-filled eyes at me. “What did ya do that for?” Her words were slurred, her annunciation choppy. Whether it was from the cheap booze flooding her body or the poison she’d injected into the bend of her arm was anybody’s guess.

I stood up from where I’d been kneeling on the floor and cringed when I saw a couple of decades worth of dirt, grime, and God only knows what else, caked to my knees.

Disgusting.

Turning around, I moved to the small kitchen that adjoined the living room. “I went to the store.” Leaning an aching hip against the counter, I pulled the food staples out of the small plastic bags and sat them on the chipped laminate countertops.

Eggs. Peanut butter. Bread. Grits. Ramen noodles.

“Didn’t get a lot, but I got us enough to make it through the end of next week.”

I heard Mama strike a match. Moments later, the unmistakable smell of sulfur and burning tobacco reached my nose. I cringed. “Yeah?” She coughed. “How much money ya got left?”

I closed my eyes in frustration. I’d known the question was coming, but I wasn’t prepared to answer it. I didn’t want to deal with the fight that would come after I told her I didn’t have enough money for her to ‘borrow.’

And by borrow, I mean, give.

God knows Mama never paid back a dime she took from me. Doubt she ever would either. “Enough to put gas in the truck so I can get back and forth to work next week. But that’s it.”

She turned on the TV and mumbled something under her breath. I could’ve sworn she called me a selfish bitch, but I couldn’t be sure. “Thought you was makin' good money at that fancy new job ya got.”

Chuckling, I shook my head again. Mama thought just because I was required to wear a uniform to work it meant my job was fancy. Boy, was she wrong. “Didn’t know cleaning rooms at Motel 6 is considered fancy.” I lowered my voice. “Learn something new every day I guess.”

More coughing.

Was she getting sick?

“Well, I know they’re payin’ you better than IHOP did. So how come you ain’t got no money?” She paused and took a drag off her cigarette. “I know those groceries didn’t take your whole check.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. “And you better not have spent all your cash buyin’ baby shit!”

Spine stiffening, I grabbed our only frying pan out of the dish drainer and slammed it down on the stove top. Then, I spun around. My eyes met Mama’s and my arms protectively wrapped around my swollen belly. “What I do with my money is none of your damn business.” Her eyes narrowed. “And when it comes to my child, you best keep your trap closed, mama.”

She leaned back on the raggedy, green sofa that we’d had since I was a little kid and crossed her arms over her chest. “Is that right?”

I didn’t answer her. Instead, I turned back around and cracked eggs into the lopsided frying pan I’d bought at a yard sale for a buck.

Mama remained silent for a few beats. “You sure are mouthy for someone who is knocked up and livin’ at home with her mama.” The sofa springs creaked as she stood up. “I already told you I ain’t gonna allow you to bring your little bastard here after it’s born.” Something banged against the ground. I didn’t have to turn around to know she’d thrown the ashtray onto the floor. “I don’t know why you’re botherin’ with buyin’ diapers and shit.”

Even though I had zero plans to ever bring my child into this hell hole my blood pressure still skyrocketed at her words. I whipped around so quickly my head spun. “What did you just say to me?”

Mama jutted out her chin. “You heard me.” Her gaze dropped to my belly, and she scoffed in disgust. “You should’ve just gotten rid of it the minute you found out you were knocked up.”

I took a step forward. No matter how badly I wanted to, I knew that I couldn’t hit her. If I did, she’d sure as heck fight back, and I wasn’t going to risk my child’s safety for anything. Still, my hand twitched with the need to smack her right across her ugly face for the words she’d just spewed at me.

Get rid of my baby? No way in hell. I hadn’t even held him in my arms yet, but I already loved him more than anything in the world.

Fisting my hands at my sides, I looked at the woman who called herself my mother. She was everything that I swore never to be.

Hateful. Selfish. Vile. Cold. Weak.

“How could you say something like that?” My voice was shaky; much to my dismay.

Raising her brows, Mama shrugged and took another hit from her cigarette.

I don’t know why I was surprised at her attitude towards my baby, but I was. I mean, this was the same woman who’d given birth to five kids total, only one of which she kept. The three that came after me were taken into state custody the moment they were born and God only knows what happened to her first child. She never talked about him, or her, to me.

For all I knew, my oldest sibling was dead.

“Answer me, Mama,” I demanded. It was stupid because I knew how she’d react. But like the idiot I am, I still pushed. “You think that I should’ve aborted my baby?”

Her answer was swift and gut-wrenching. “Yuuup.”

Sucking in a breath, I took a step back. “Why?”

I knew my Mama was a piece of shit, but I couldn’t understand her. Did the crazy bitch not possess the slightest bit of maternal instinct? Looking at how I was raised and some of the stunts she’d pulled, I knew she didn’t. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to her.

Why was she so broken?

“How can you be so cruel?” I looked at her with cold, unwavering eyes. “So fucking callous?” My voice shook with each word I spoke.

She took a puff from her cigarette and shrugged carelessly. “I don’t want that baby in my house, Shelby.”

Don’t worry, I thought. He’ll never be here. I’ll be long gone before he’s ever born.

I opened my mouth to reply when someone banged against the trailer door.

Hard.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

My mouth snapped shut for a moment before I found the ability to speak. “Who the hell is that?”

Mama’s face contorted into an evil smirk before she turned around and walked towards the door. “That,” she declared, “solves my problem.”

I didn’t understand what she meant by that.

Unlocking the flimsy deadbolt, she pushed the door open. “It’s about fuckin’ time you showed up,” she squawked at the person standing on the other side of the door. “I tried talkin’ some sense into the little brat, but she won’t listen.”

It was at that moment that my heart stopped.

It couldn’t be. She wouldn’t…

Mama glanced over her shoulder at me. “Didn’t want things to be this way, Shelby, but you ain’t left me no choice.”

Terror seized my body as Mama took a step backward and he stepped into the trailer.

Oh God no!

“Hey, beautiful.” His familiar voice was gruff, harsh. It sent chills careening down my spine and fear thundering through my veins. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Panic engulfed me.

I skittered backward and thrust out my arms in front of me. “Stay away from me!” The monster smiled. “I mean it, Damien, don’t you fucking come near me!”

“Such a filthy mouth,” he hissed, shaking his head. “I’ll have to fix that once we get you back home where you belong.”

Home. I’d never had one of those.

The only things I had were dungeons and prisons. But that would change when I had my baby. It didn’t matter what I had to do, I’d give him everything that I never had.

A home. Love. Safety.

But first, I had to escape.

I had to survive.

My back hit the wall as I continued to retreat from the man who had hurt me in the most sickening ways. “Mama, do something!” I don’t know why I was pleading with her for help. She’d never lifted a finger to help me before. Hell, she’d attempted to sell my body for dope when I was sixteen. She didn’t give a shit about me.

I glared at Damien with hate-filled eyes. “You’re supposed to still be in jail!”

He smiled over at Mama. “Looks like your mama is good for something after all, beautiful. She helped pull a few strings, greased a few gears, to get me released early.” He smirked. “She may not be much to look at now, but I guess all the dick she’s sucked over the years finally came in handy.”

No. I shook my head wildly back and forth. This can’t be happening.

My own Mama, the woman who’d birthed me, had done this. She’d helped the man who’d hurt me, who raped and beat me, get out of jail.

And it was all because she hated the child that I carried inside of me.

“You stupid bitch!” I shouted at her. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done, you stupid whore? He’ll kill me and my baby both!”

At that, Mama’s eyes widened, and a look that resembled concern flashed across her features. “Now wait a minute.” She held up an outstretched arm and stepped in front of Damien. “What do you mean, he’ll kill the baby?” She turned to Damien. “This is not what we talked about, D!”

Damien planted a large hand on Mama’s upper arm and shoved her to the ground. Hard. I heard what sounded like a bone snapping in two, half a second before she screamed in pain. I closed my eyes at the horror.

“Get out of my way, you junkie whore.”

My eyes popped back open.

“Shelby.” Damien lifted his hand and curled his fingers in a come here motion. “It’s time to go, beautiful.”

My nostrils flared, and my heart thundered in my chest.

I froze in place, completely rooted to the spot. I knew I needed to move, to run, but I simply couldn’t. My muscles wouldn’t contract, my legs wouldn’t budge.

But then, right on cue, my baby moved inside of me, reminding me of everything that I had to fight for, to live for. Fiery determination flooded me, and my muscles responded at once.

Shooting Damien a look of pure hatred, I yelled, “Go to hell, Damien!”

It was either the bravest or the stupidest thing I’d ever done.

Not wasting another second, I made a break for the door. By some miracle, I was able to burst through it before he caught me.

Jumping down the steps, I took off running for my truck that was at the end of the trailer, less than thirty feet away.

If I could just get inside, I could lock the door and start the engine before he busted the window and pulled me out. My keys were on the seat along with the emergency bag I’d packed months ago in anticipation of this moment.

I was only five steps away from reaching the driver’s door when he caught me.

One arm wrapped around my waist and my feet left the ground. “You, stupid bitch,” he growled in my ear as he covered my mouth with his free hand. “You’ll pay for running from me.”

Damien carried me to the opposite end of the trailer, furthest away from my truck and closest to the woods. Swinging me around, he slammed my back into the trunk of the dogwood tree that sat next to my bedroom window. Upon impact, all the breath left my lungs in one quick swoosh.

Even though I couldn’t breathe, I still tried my best to fight him.

I hit. I kicked. I even tried to bite his hand that covered my mouth.

But it wasn’t enough.

No matter how much I tried or how hard I fought, I couldn’t escape him.

He was too big; too strong.

“You’ve been a bad girl, my little pet,” Damien ran the tip of his nose down the side of my face. His tongue peeked out of his mouth, and he tasted my damp skin.

Disgusting monster!

“You’ll be punished for all the trouble you’ve caused.”

I screamed in fear from behind his hand because I knew exactly what he meant by that. He was going to make me bleed. Just like he always did when I stepped out of line. “But first,” he paused and licked his lips, “we need to take care of one little problem.”

When his free hand dropped to my stomach, and his fingertips skated across the place where my precious baby was kicking, I froze in place for the second time. “I told you I wouldn’t share you with anyone, Shelby Ray.” His fingers continued to circle my belly. “And I won’t. Especially not with this.”

That’s when I snapped.

Raising my leg, I kneed him in the balls as hard as I could. He didn’t release me like I expected him to. Instead, he held me tighter as his face turned red and his eyes flashed fire. “That was a big mistake.” He wrapped a hand around my throat and squeezed. “Huge damn mistake!”

After that everything happened so fast.

I saw the glint of the silver knife in his hand.

I felt the sharpness of the blade as he pressed it to my belly and dragged it across my flesh.

“Damien!” I screamed in pain.

How I spoke at all as his big, meaty paw clamped down on my throat, I don’t know. “Please… stop!” I fought against him and the blade he was using to carve my skin.

The cuts were shallow but agonizing.

Giving it my all, I resisted with everything I had, but like before; it wasn’t enough. Overwhelmed with pain and gasping for breath, I begged him one last time, “Damien…let…” He ignored my pleas as he pulled the knife across my skin faster. My legs shook as my muscles weakened. “Me…”

Vision tunneling, my head grew light.

Please, God, I prayed. Please send an angel to save me.

Damien didn’t look at me as he whispered, “Shhh, beautiful girl. It’ll all be over soon.” His voice was dripping with lust.

Bloodlust.

Blackness crept in and chill bumps broke out along my skin. The ability to move, speak or fight disappeared. Shock set in. “My baby…”

They were the last two words I spoke before everything went black.