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Every Breath You Take (Redeeming Love Book 2) by J.E. Parker (34)

Shelby

“Well,” Grandmama said, tossing a dishtowel over her shoulder, “I’m calling this cookout a success.” Picking up a bowl of potato salad, she started spooning it on a paper plate. “Keith didn’t blow himself up using the propane, nobody got in a fight, and we didn’t run out of hamburger buns.” She nodded to herself. “Yep, I’m declaring today a victory.”

Maddie saddled up beside me and bumped her hip into mine. “And we got to see a new side of Detective Moretti,” she purred, a goofy smile on her face.

I rolled my eyes at her antics.

“Oh my God, Shelby,” she continued, leaning against me. “I think I fell in love with him a little myself.” Pinching my lips into a thin line, I glared at her. “The way he is with Lucca… that just…” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head. “It melted my dang heart!”

Grandmama smiled. “Mine too.” She pointed the wooden spoon she held in her hand at me. “You better marry that man, Shelby. You ain’t gonna find another one like him.”

I tried my best to appear nonchalant. “Maybe.”

Maddie bumped into me again. “Maybe, huh? Well, that’s just

A throat cleared from the doorway, pulling my attention from the apple that I was peeling for Liam, Clara’s oldest son. I looked up, and my eyes met Pop’s.

“Shelby,” he said in a low tone. “You got a minute?”

I’d known it was coming. Still, I wasn’t prepared. I’d done my best to avoid him the entire cookout because I didn’t want to make a scene if I happened to lose my temper, which let’s face it, was likely. But apparently, I couldn’t avoid him any longer.

“Yeah, Pop,” I replied. “Just give me a minute to finish this.”

Surprise crossed his face. He’d obviously been expecting me to put up a fight.

Poor guy probably thought I’d tell him to go fuck himself.

“Sure, Bee. Take your time.”

Bee? He’d never called me that before.

Taking a step back, he turned around and walked out of the room. I could see his shadow lingering in the hall though so I knew he hadn’t gone far.

“Here,” Grandmama said, taking the apple out of my hand. “Go talk to your father.” Her words made me freeze. Placing my hands on the counter, I curled my fingers around the edges for support. “Shelby.” Setting the apple down, she walked over to me and placed her hands on my cheeks. “Baby, I know he wasn’t always a good man, but he’s changed. He’s been clean for seven years now.”

My body began to tremble as memories from my own shit-tastic childhood danced in the front of my mind. “He hurt Hendrix,” I choked out. “I can’t forgive him for that.”

Grandmama nodded. “While I understand your anger, you need to understand something. That hate that you feel on behalf of your brother? That’s not your hate to bear.” I gritted my back teeth together as my frustration mounted. “Hendrix and Maddie both forgave him for what he did. They moved on. Now we all follow suit.”

I shook my head. “So it’s just that easy, huh? You’re just supposed to forgive and forget?”

“Forgive? Yes.” She paused. “Forget? Not in this lifetime.” She looked to the hall where Pop stood. “He knows that if he messes up again, it’s over for him.” Tapping her nails against the counter, she continued, “one wrong step and he loses everything. His son, his daughter in law, his grandkids, you.”

I had a choice to make. Either I could try to forgive Pop and move on like everyone else had done or I could continue to hold onto the poisonous hatred that brewed in the pit of my gut.

“Let it go, Shelby,” Grandmama said, continuing to push. “You go in there, you say your peace, and you let it go.”

With that, she turned around and walked over to where Maddie was standing, a smile on her face. “I love how protective you are of Hendrix.” Maddie’s smile grew. “It makes my heart happy.”

Feeling my throat fill with emotion, I rolled my eyes and tried to appear nonchalant. “Whatever,” I replied in a sarcastic tone. “I can’t help it if the behemoth has grown on me.”

Grandmama snorted. “It’s all that bickering y’all do. I swear we should’ve seen this before.” Shaking her head, she filled up two clean glasses with fresh sweet tea. “Not only does Lucca look like him but you two have been fighting like siblings since you met. Funny how that worked out.” She picked up the glasses and gestured for me to take them. “Now go talk to your father before the man wears a hole in my floor from all that pacing he’s doing.” I took the glasses from her hands. “And blondie, please don’t break my glasses. I’ve already lost a flower pot on account of your temper. I don’t need to lose my favorite drinkware too.”

Biting back a smile, I shrugged and headed for the hall. “Not making any promises.” Turning my head, I retorted, “Besides, I know you had something to do with that mess Anthony spewed all over me.” I narrowed my eyes. “That had your signature all over it, you crazy old biddy.”

Grandmama didn’t bother to deny it. “You needed a little push. I told him how to give you one. It worked, didn’t it?”

She’s crazier than me!

Exasperated, I walked out of the room.

* * *

I was sitting on the middle of Grandmama’s sofa. Pop was sitting directly across from me in Keith’s recliner. The air surrounding us was so thick you could’ve cut it with a knife. Heart thundering in my chest, I placed my elbows on my knees and leaned forward.

You can do this, Shelby.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” I said, my voice quiet. “I shouldn’t have said some of the things I said the other night.” Rubbing my hands together, I stared down at the coffee table in front of me. “I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind.” Looking up, I smiled at him. “Sorry for letting my crazy shine through. It happens sometimes.” I paused and snorted like a pig. “Okay, it happens a lot. Still, I shouldn’t have said those things. I realize that.”

Pop’s hard face relaxed at my words. “You don’t need to apologize to me. Everything you said was the truth.” His gaze dropped to the floor as a look of pain mixed with regret swept across his features. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret what I did to your brother.” He paused, his jaw ticked. “He was a good kid. Yeah, he got into trouble, but overall, he was a good fucking kid. He didn’t deserve any of it.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “I wish I could’ve grown up with him.”

Pop’s, “me too,” was so quiet I almost missed it.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you, Bee.” My head dipped forward and my shoulders hunched. “I’m sorry that I didn’t save you from your mother. I’d like to think that if I’d known, I would have done something, but the truth is…” His voice trailed off as he blew out a breath and ran his hands through his messy hair. “The truth is, I don’t know if I would’ve done a damn thing. Back then I was as bad as your mother.”

His confession hit me like a freight train.

Angry tears filled my eyes.

I clenched my hands into fists and gritted my teeth to stop the string of curses that hovered on the tip of my tongue from escaping.

“What do you want from me, Pop?” I was barely hanging onto control.

Standing up from the recliner, he walked to the sofa and sat down beside me. He gently placed my hand in his.

“I want you to give me a chance.”

That was easier said than done.

“I know I wasn’t there for you before, but I want to be there now.” His thumb began to caress the back of my shaking hand. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I want to be the dad you never had. I want to be the grandpa that Lucca doesn’t have.” Wrapping his free hand around my chin, he turned my face to his. “Just let me love you, Bee. That’s all I’m asking for. Please,” he begged, “just let me love you.”

Something inside of me broke. Shattered.

Defenses completely obliterated, I let the tears fall.

Barely able to form a coherent thought around the emotions bombarding me, I could only utter a single word. “Okay.”

Pop smiled so big it looked like his face may split in half. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” I blew out a shaky breath. “Okay.”

“You have no idea how

“What the fuck did you do!” Hendrix’s voice boomed from the living room door. “Pop I swear to God,” He yelled, crossing the room in five long strides. “I will beat your damn ass if you did something to upset her!”

Jumping up, I placed a hand on the center of Hendrix’s chest. “Calm down, behemoth.” My voice was still shaky. “He didn’t do anything to upset me.”

Jaw clenched, he didn’t look too convinced. “Then why the hell are you crying?”

I shrugged. “Anybody would cry if they found out they were related to you.”

Hendrix’s head snapped back, and a look of surprise crossed his face. He recovered quickly though. Crossing his arms over his chest, he asked, “So that’s how we’re going to play this?” I could see the smile he was forcing back. “How do you think I feel about being saddled with you?”

Sucking in a breath, I bit down on my lower lip to keep from slapping him. He was picking on me, and I’d started the entire thing but still… “You know what jackass

Pop stepped between us. “Alright, both of you calm down.” He looked at Hendrix. “Be nice to your sister.”

Hendrix’s eyes widened. “Are you serious right now? She’s been in the family three damn days, and she’s already the favorite?” Dropping his arms, he slid his hands into his pockets. “That’s some bullshit, Pop.”

Neither of us listened. “You know what, Hendrix, kiss my ass!”

Hendrix bent at the waist and leaned toward me. Narrowing his eyes, he barked, “Might want to mark me off an acre or two!”

Oh, this son of a bitch!

“That’s enough,” Pop interjected. “Knock it off or you’re both grounded.”

My mouth, along with Hendrix’s, snapped shut.

“I’m twenty-four years old,” I huffed. “You can’t ground me.”

Hendrix lifted his chin in the air. “Yeah,” he barked. “I’d like to see you try, old man.”

Pop dropped his head back and looked up at the ceiling. “You two are going to be the death of me. I already know.” Hendrix winked at me, and I smiled in return. “When y’all give me a heart attack just remember I want to be cremated not buried.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I winked back at Hendrix. “Wellll,” I replied, dragging out the word. “I figure we could just donate your body to science. Ya know, save on funeral expenses and all.”

Pop’s upper lip twitched as he gazed down at me. “I take that back. You”—he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side—“are going to be the death of me, bee.”

The corners of my mouth curled upwards into a wide grin. “I like that you call me Bee.”

“Good, because

“Hendrix!” Maddie’s scream ripped through the air, cutting Pop off mid-sentence. The harsh cry sent goosebumps racing down my spine as every one of my senses went on high alert.

For half of a second no one moved. We all just stood there frozen.

Another scream from Maddie, this time for Keith. “Daddy!”

Hendrix was the first to move. Spinning around, he ran towards the front door. “Maddie!” He hollered back in a panicked voice before bursting through the front door with such force that I was surprised when it didn’t rip clean off the hinges.

Pop was the next to move. He took off running, and I followed right behind him. For an old guy, the man could run fast. We both flew onto the porch, and I came to a skidding stop near the steps.

My eyes scanned the yard.

Clara was standing to the right of the porch with Liam and Declan both standing behind her. Keith was in front of her, acting as a shield between her and whatever had caused Maddie to panic and scream. Hope was standing to the left of the porch with Lucca in her arms. Evan stood in front of them both, blocking their bodies with his own. Maddie was standing by the steps with Hendrix at her side. Pop stood beside me, his brows furrowed.

“What the hell is going on?” He asked, clearly confused.

Where the hell is Anthony and Grandmama?

“Shelby,” Maddie said my name, bringing my attention to her tear streaked face.

“Why are you crying?” I descended the steps towards her. “Who am I going to have to kill?”

“Shelby Ray Mason!” Someone hollered my name.

Anger instantly spiraled in the pit of my stomach at the sound of the familiar voice. Balling my hands into tight fists, I turned and looked toward the street where the raspy voice had come from.

Standing in front of a beat up, four-door Corolla, stood the woman that I hated more than anyone else in the world; Damien included. She was wearing a skintight, black dress and her wrinkled, pockmarked face was caked in a couple of inches worth of make-up including her signature rouge blush and cherry colored lipstick which, I might add, was smeared over her lips and chin. Her hair was pulled on top of her head in a messy beehive, and her nails were painted plum purple, her favorite color. Silver costume jewelry hung from her neck, and the heels she wore strapped to her feet added at least three inches to her five foot five height.

She looked every bit the crack whore that she was.

“Get your ass down here, you crazy little bitch!” Stormy blue eyes met mine. “You’ve caused me a shit load of problems, and you’re goin’ to start fixin’ ‘em right this second!”

I moved toward her. My steps were slow, calculated. Like a predator stalking its prey, I made sure to keep her in my line of sight.

The bitch won’t escape this time.

Hendrix fell into step with me as I passed by him and Maddie. “Who the fuck is that?”

“That,” I replied through gritted teeth, “is our mother.”

Hendrix came to a standstill; his entire body went rigid.

I, however, kept walking, slowly closing the distance between the woman who’d almost gotten my son and me killed. I had no idea what she was doing there and I didn’t care. It’d been nearly two years since I’d last seen her.

Our reunion had been a long time coming.

“Hendrix, stay back!” I barked at my brother. “Stay with, Maddie. Keep her safe.”

My mother was crazy. I didn’t want a pregnant Maddie anywhere near her.

“Sunshine,” Anthony growled from across the street where he was coming from, Grandmama hot on his heels. “Stop.”

I didn’t stop.

“Hope,” I called over my shoulder. “You and Clara take the boys inside. Now.” None of them needed to see what was about to happen. “And keep them away from the windows.”

At my words, the policemen sitting in the squad car that was parked in front of Anthony’s house opened his door and climbed out. Hand on his gun, his eyes were locked on Mama.

Speaking of Mama

She looked over my shoulder to where Hope had been standing. Her face twisted in disgust. “You kept it?”

It… She just called my son, the center of my entire world, it.

“He doesn’t look a damn thing like you.” Shaking her head, she opened her purse and pulled out a cigarette. Slipping it between her lips, she lit the end and sucked in a lungful of smoke and nicotine. Her eyes closed in satisfaction. “That’s too bad. You might be a bitch, Shelby, but you’ve always been gorgeous.” Tilting her face towards the sky, she blew out a ring of smoke. “Could’ve used that body of yours to make a whole lotta money.” She chuckled to herself before continuing. “Not anymore, though.” She turned her face to me. “You’ve gotten fat. What the hell happened?”

Since when is a size ten considered fat?

Five feet separated me from her when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist. “Baby,” Anthony whispered into my ear. “Stay calm.” His breath bellowed over my neck, and his warmth bled into my back. Both were comforting.

Without pulling my eyes from Mama, I whispered back, “I’ve got this, sugar. Don’t you worry.”

I could’ve sworn I heard him mumble, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Mama’s brows rose at the sight of Anthony. My stomach twisted into a thousand little knots when her gaze raked him over from head to toe. “A little out of your league ain’t he?”

This fucking cow!

When I didn’t reply, Mama wasted no time in getting down to business. “Damien is lookin’ for you.” Anthony’s arm tightened around my waist at her words. “Wants you to come back home.” She nodded toward Grandmama’s house. “Says you can’t bring the baby with you, but he’s willin’ to take you back.”

My hackles rose, and my rage reached a boiling point.

I opened my mouth to respond, but Anthony beat me to it. “You’ve got three seconds.” He paused and inhaled harshly. “Three seconds to climb your skanky ass back in your piece of shit car and drive back to whatever rat infested shit hole you climbed out of.” His heartbeat thundered against my back making it clear that I wasn’t the only one a hairbreadth away from losing my shit. “My woman nor my son are going any-fucking-where.”

Mama sneered. “I ain’t talkin’ to you, city boy.” She took another drag of her cigarette. “So how ‘bout you stay the hell out of it. Don’t matter what you say, the fact is, Shelby Ray ain’t yours and that baby ain’t either. Far as I can see, you don’t have a dog in this race. This is between me,” she pointed at me, “and my daughter.”

Pop was beside me in the blink of an eye. “You mean my damn daughter?” He asked in a booming voice. “The same daughter that you never bothered to tell me about?”

Mama’s eyes widened, and she took a step back. I didn’t blame her. With his muscular build and dark eyes, Pop looked scary on a regular basis. When he was in a snit—like right then—he could scare somebody shitless.

“Well, I’ll be,” Mama replied in a flat voice. “If it ain’t my drunk ass ex-husband.” Her lips tilted up in a salacious smile. “How’s it goin’ James? Still sleepin’ with every whore you see?”

Umm… ewww….

I didn’t care to hear about Pop’s sex habits.

Pop crossed his arms over his chest and leaned toward Mama. “Hell no, Dixie. The last whore I stuck my dick in ran off with one of my kids while abandoning the other.”

“Good one,” Mama replied, uncaring that he’d just called her a whore.

If the shoe fits

“How is Hendrix doin’?” She cocked her head to the side and stared at Pop with unyielding eyes. “Last time I saw the little shit he wasn’t even walkin’ yet.”

My spine snapped straight when she called Hendrix a shit. I moved to take a step forward, but Anthony’s arm tightened around my waist like a vice grip. “Damn it, Shelby, stay calm.” His voice was hard, strained. “For once, listen to me.”

No.

Mama’s eyes narrowed as she looked from me to Anthony. “She ain’t never listened worth a damn. The little bitch hasn’t been nothin’ but trouble since the day she was born. I should’ve gotten rid of her,” she paused to blow another ring of smoke into the air, “just like she should’ve gotten rid of Damien’s baby.”

I didn’t know if it was because she referred to Lucca as Damien’s baby or because she said that I should’ve gotten rid of him, but like a taut wire that had been pulled too tight, I snapped.

Anthony may have been strong, but there isn’ t a thing in this world that’s stronger than a mother hell-bent on defending her child. His arm, as tightly as it held me, might as well have been silly string when I decided to go after her.

He didn’t stand a chance at holding me back.

Raising my right arm, I slammed my elbow into his rib cage. He loosened the arm wrapped around my torso as his body jerked from the impact of the blow. Digging my nails into his wrist, I pushed his arm down and spun out of his hold.

“Bee!” Pop made a grab for me, but he wasn’t fast enough.

Without blinking, I charged my mother.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

She dropped her cigarette to the ground and lifted her arms to shield her face from my incoming assault, but it was too late. I was fast to begin with. Add in a healthy dose of anger, and I was quicker than a cheetah chasing a gazelle.

My fist was flying toward her face before she had a chance to scream. The knuckles on my right hand met her leathery, aged skin before bouncing off the corner of her jaw. Mama’s head snapped to the right, and she stumbled backward. Teetering on her heels, she lost her balance and fell onto the side of her car before spinning around to face me again.

Call me sick, call me crazy, whatever, but I relished the look of fear that flashed in her eyes when she saw me coming back for more. Again, she raised her arms in the air to ward off the punch she thought I was about to throw, but I wasn’t interested in hitting her again. The only thing I wanted was to silence her—for good.

Blood whooshed in my ears, and my vision bled red.

My mind blanked, and instinct took over.

End the threat now. Protect yourself. Protect your son.

Anthony’s scent invaded my nose, and his arms encircled my waist.

He lifted me off the ground to rip me away from Mama, but it was already too late. My fingers were wrapped firmly around her throat, and I wasn’t letting go. He could move me, but I was bringing her with me.

Smiling, I looked into the eyes of my soon-to-be-dead mother and thought, time to die, bitch.

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