November 28th, 2016
“Oh my God,” Ivy groaned, and I startled awake.
“Seriously?” she muttered to herself, bringing me further out from under the haze of peaceful dreams.
Quickly, I opened my eyes, and the soft glow of the early morning sun filtered in through the large windows of our bedroom.
“Everything okay, baby?” I asked and turned on my side to find her staring up at the ceiling, her brow pinched in frustration.
“No,” she said and turned her irritated green gaze toward me. “Everything is not okay, Levi. I’m pretty sure I just sleep-peed.”
“Sleep-peed?”
“Yes.” She sighed a cavernous sigh and shut her eyes briefly. “Sleep-peed. As in, I just peed all over myself while I was sleeping.”
It was moments like these that I realized just how much I loved Ivy.
She would always be the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on.
Even thirty-seven weeks pregnant with a belly so swollen it nearly tipped her over whenever she stood up.
And even when she was frustrated and bristling because she’d pissed all over our bed in the middle of the night.
Still, in my eyes, she was everything.
She searched my face, and her gaze turned to a glare. “Don’t even think about laughing right now.”
It took every inch of willpower inside my body not to smile or chuckle or show any signs of amusement on my end.
“I’m not,” I said and sat up in bed. “And are you sure you peed, sweetheart?”
“I’m pretty sure. I mean, what else could it be?” she said, but it wasn’t really a question. “Can you just help me out of bed so I can get out of these wet clothes and take a freaking shower?”
“Hold on,” I said and decided to check the situation out myself. As I lifted the sheets, her eyes grew wide in shock, but I ignored it. My gut instinct told me this wasn’t pee.
“W-what are you doing, you crazy bastard?” she questioned. “There’s no need for you to see anything going on down there.”
“Ivy,” I coaxed. “Just let me check something real quick,” I said as I moved down between her legs. Her pajama pants were soaked through, and I leaned forward to smell.
And just as I suspected, it definitely was not pee.
“Oh my God! Are you smelling my pee? That’s so gross, Levi!”
“Pretty sure I’ve licked and kissed and fucked every inch of your body. So, smelling your piss is a non-issue for me.” I grinned up at her. “And it’s not piss, baby. I’m pretty sure your water broke.”
Her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “What?” she questioned, downright shock consuming every inch of her face. But a few moments after, she moved both hands to her belly, and her mouth turned to a firm line.
“Are you having contractions?”
She shrugged, but when I placed both of my hands on her belly, I knew by the tightness of her abdominal muscles that she was.
“We need to call Dr. Morrow, Ivy,” I said, and I couldn’t stop my smile from consuming my face. “It looks like we’re going to have our babies today.”
“Our babies?” she asked, and her eyes turned shiny with emotion. “We’re going to have our babies today?”
I nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart. I think today is the day we finally get to meet them.”
She covered her mouth with her hand, and instantly, tears started to stream down her cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” I asked and moved back up the bed to place both of my hands on her cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
“It just kind of hit me all at once.” Her voice shook, and she swallowed against the thick emotions. “I’m going to be a mom. I’m going to have two tiny humans to take care of. Two little people who will need me and rely on me, and I just don’t want to fuck anything up.”
Her words hit me straight in the chest, and I smiled. “You won’t fuck anything up, Ivy,” I said, and she frowned.
“How do you know that?” she whispered. “What if I’m a bad mom?”
“That’s impossible,” I said and kissed her lips softly. “You are the strongest woman I’ve ever known, and I know without any doubts or uncertainties that you will be the very best mom to our babies.”
“You think so?” she questioned, and her voice sounded so small it nearly made me cry.
“I know so, baby. Plus, you have nothing to be worried or scared about. You’re not in this alone. I’m here, with you, every step of the way.” I placed one last kiss to her lips before I moved off the bed. “Now, let’s get you out of bed and into the shower, and I’ll give Dr. Morrow a call to let her know what’s going on.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered as I helped her to her feet. “I can’t believe we’re going to have our babies today.”
“Best day ever.”
“Yeah,” she muttered and rolled her eyes. “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to push two humans out of your body.”
I smirked down at her as I helped her into the bathroom. “There’s my favorite feisty woman. I was wondering when she’d come back and give me hell.”
Ivy laughed, and I turned on the shower.
But before I left the room to call the doctor, she grabbed my wrist and stopped me.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you too.”
She slipped out of her soiled clothes and tossed them into the hamper. And just before she stepped underneath the warm spray of water, she said, “Now, go call the doctor and let her know I want one of those fucking epidurals as soon as I step foot into that hospital. I’m all for natural births and shit, but dear God, I refuse to try that route with two freaking human beings flying out of my body.”
I grinned. “Duly noted.”
Once I walked out of the bathroom, I dropped the tough guy act for a brief moment and let the shock consume me.
Holy shit. Ivy was going to have the babies today.
Our babies.
Before I called Dr. Morrow, I offered up a few words to the Big Guy upstairs.
“Please, God, let everything go okay,” I prayed. “Please keep Ivy safe and our babies safe and just let this be an easy delivery for them. I wouldn’t be able to survive if anything bad happened. So…please…I know I’m not the nicest person who has ever lived, and I’ve done some shitty things in my life, but please, just keep watch over them today.”
Once I got that off my chest, I switched to the next top priority—getting Ivy to the hospital safely.
First, a call to Dr. Morrow.
Then, another quick one to Baylor. He’d made the move with us to Oregon to stay on as the head of our security team thanks to a small cash incentive, and I was incredibly thankful. Having someone we were familiar with—someone we trusted—protecting us was something wholly invaluable, and neither of us had had a problem with giving him the extra money.
And with the way the media and paparazzi had been waiting for news on Ivy’s delivery, having Baylor at our backs was the most comforting thing I could think of.
Six hours later and Ivy was full speed ahead.
Once we’d arrived at the hospital, it’d been pretty obvious that Ivy’s water had, in fact, broken. Her pants were wet again, and her contractions were getting stronger by the minute.
She’d been four centimeters dilated when Dr. Morrow had first checked her, and thanks to the swift and speedy care from the hospital staff, Ivy was inside of a delivery room and had an epidural.
She was thankful.
I was thankful.
And, I was certain by her colorful and very loud choice in words, everyone inside Cedar Hills Hospital was thankful.
Everything went lightning fast after that.
She’d been five centimeters by the time they had placed the epidural, and in what felt like no time at all, she was fully dilated and ready to start pushing.
Thankfully, the epidural was in full force, and the only thing she was feeling was pressure and the urge to push.
Now, we sat inside an OR room—because apparently, sometimes women had trouble delivering the second baby and needed a C-section—and the soft, speedy heartbeats of our babies filled the room from the monitor.
It was a glorious fucking sound.
“Oh my God,” Ivy moaned, and I reached out to grasp her hand that was currently gripping the side rail of her hospital bed, her white knuckles plainly visible. “I feel like a bowling ball is trying to shoot out of my vagina.”
Dr. Morrow smiled down at her as she slipped on sterile gloves. “That’s good, Ivy,” she said. “Just breathe through all of that pressure while we get everything set up.”
“I want to push so bad,” she said through another moan.
“You’re doing great, sweetie,” Ivy’s nurse Mindy said as she set up the stirrups. “Just keep breathing and making sure you’re giving your babies all of that good oxygen.”
A mere minute later, Ivy’s legs were in stirrups, and Dr. Morrow was ready for delivery.
“Okay, Ivy,” the doctor said. “Next contraction and you can start pushing.”
“Oh, thank God.”
I smiled down at her. “So proud of you, baby.”
“Even though I yelled at the anesthesiologist and threatened to cut off his balls if he didn’t get my epidural in?”
In her defense, it’d taken him three attempts, and her contractions had been coming every two to three minutes.
I chuckled. “Yep. Even after that.” I kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear, “Strongest woman I know.”
“Okay, yeah, I definitely need to push,” she said, and Dr. Morrow nodded.
“You got this, Ivy.”
She took a big, deep breath, shut her eyes tightly, and with all of her might, she pushed. The nurses counted beside her, and once they reached ten, they encouraged Ivy to take a quick breath and start pushing again.
After three rounds, the contraction was nearly over, and Ivy was panting from the exertion.
“You’re a quick learner,” Dr. Morrow said. “Usually, it takes women a few pushes to really figure it out, but you were already moving Baby A with the first go. If you keep pushing like that, I think we’ll have a baby soon.”
I kissed the top of Ivy’s forehead and brushed the sweaty strands of hair off her cheek. “You’re such a badass,” I whispered into her ear, and she just laughed and rolled her eyes.
“Oh yeah, total badass with an epidural.”
I chuckled, and so did Dr. Morrow.
“No one’s judging you here,” Mindy said beside her. “And, honestly, with a twin delivery, Dr. Morrow probably wouldn’t have let you attempt a natural delivery.”
“Very true,” the doctor agreed. “Okay, Ivy, looks like you’re having another one, take a big, deep breath and let the pressure build until you can’t tolerate it anymore, then push just like you did last time.”
Ivy nodded and did as instructed. And a few seconds later, she leaned forward and pushed with all of her might.
It only took another ten or so minutes before the nurses started moving around the room, grabbing supplies and placing a baby blanket over Ivy’s chest.
“Okay, Ivy,” Dr. Morrow said. “Next push and Baby A will be here.”
Ivy looked up at me and smiled. “Are you ready?”
“I’ve never been more ready,” I said. “Especially since you wouldn’t let us find out what we’re having. I’m dying to know if there’re two boys or two girls in there.”
She smiled, and I’d never been more proud of her than I was in that moment.
“Here comes another contraction, Ivy,” Dr. Morrow said. “Go ahead and push. But this time, do more of a slow and steady push so the baby eases out, okay?”
Ivy leaned forward and pushed just like the doctor had instructed, and between one breath and the next, the room went from being nearly silent to filled with the soft, screeching sounds of a newborn baby’s cry.
“Baby A is here!” Dr. Morrow said, and with both hands, she lifted our now screaming baby up in the air so both Ivy and I could see. “And it’s a girl!”
A girl.
A baby girl.
A pink, gooey, wiggly, screaming baby girl with bright red hair like Ivy’s.
“Oh my God!” Ivy cried, and tears streamed down her cheeks. “She’s so loud and so, so, so beautiful! And she’s a little ginger!”
I smiled and chuckled, and tears I couldn’t stop started seeping from my eyes.
Dr. Morrow placed our daughter on Ivy’s chest, and my heart had never felt so full as it did in that moment, watching Ivy stare down at our baby with nothing but love in her eyes.
It was bliss. And love. And everything.
Ivy kissed our daughter’s forehead, and her eyes met mine. “She’s perfect,” she whispered, and I nodded.
“Just like her momma.”
We stared at each other for a long, heartfelt moment, and I leaned down to place a kiss on Ivy’s forehead and then my daughter’s.
But the moment stopped before it even really started.
“Baby B’s heart rate isn’t recovering too well, Dr. Morrow,” Mindy said, and the doctor looked up at the monitor.
The normally quick and steady bum-bum-bum I’d been used to had dropped down to a slow and sluggish pace.
“Is everything okay?” Ivy questioned, and Dr. Morrow nodded.
“Everything will be okay, Ivy. Baby B’s heart rate has gone down a little, but we’re watching everything closely.”
I looked over at the monitor, and I could tell the green squiggly lines did not look the way they had ten minutes ago.
“Go ahead and give Ivy some oxygen,” Dr. Morrow instructed the nursing staff.
“Just take some slow and deep breaths, Ivy, and help Baby B get as much oxygen as possible.” Mindy placed an oxygen mask over Ivy’s face, and I waited with bated breath for our baby’s heart rate to go back up.
But it didn’t.
If anything, it only got slower.
The mood shifted, and the medical staff switched from laid-back to quick and fast-acting.
More staff came into the room, and I felt like my heart had fallen straight out of my chest and onto the floor.
“W-what’s happening?” I asked.
“Baby B isn’t recovering like we’d hoped,” Dr. Morrow responded and stood up from her doctor’s stool. “If the baby were a little farther down, I’d say we could wait it out a little longer, but I’m not liking what I’m seeing right now. I think the safest thing is a C-section.”
The doctor slipped off her gloves and looked over at Mindy. “Tell them we need the OR staff in here right now. I’m going to go scrub in real quick.”
“A C-section?” Ivy questioned, and tears filled her eyes. “Is my baby going to be okay?”
Dr. Morrow moved toward her and placed her hand on Ivy’s belly. “Ivy, I promise you, you’re in good hands. I know this all seems a little scary right now, but we need to move pretty quickly to make sure we get the baby out safely, okay?”
Ivy nodded, but her lip quivered and her chin vibrated from her emotion.
Our daughter was taken from Ivy’s arms and placed in the infant warmer, where another nurse was there to check her out.
And our other baby’s heartbeat had never sounded slower.
Its sluggish rhythm resonated in the room, and I held my breath between each soft, slow beat that sang out from the monitor.
I was no doctor, but I knew it was too slow. Too fucking slow.
“I’m scared, Levi,” Ivy said, and I just gripped her hand tightly.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. Everything is going to be okay.”
I tried to reassure her despite the fact that I wasn’t reassured at all.
I was terrified.
A scant thirty seconds later, I was escorted out of the OR room while they got Ivy ready for surgery. I didn’t understand why, but they said it was protocol, and they needed to make sure everything stayed sterile.
Initially, I’d just started out with a hair net, but now, they’d had me put on a mask, white shoe covers, and some sort of yellow gown over my clothes.
I had no idea what was going on.
All I knew was that both Ivy and my babies were inside of that OR room and I had no control over what happened.
It felt like a lifetime in that fucking hallway.
All the while, staff moved in and out of Ivy’s OR room at a hurried pace.
I wanted to ask them what in the fuck was going on.
I wanted to demand that I go inside to be with Ivy.
But I knew that was counterproductive.
The medical staff needed to focus, and they didn’t need an emotional and scared father getting in their way.
I paced the hallway.
And I paced some more.
By the time I felt like I’d died a thousand deaths inside that fucking hallway, nurse Mindy opened the door.
I looked up at her, heart clenched tight in my throat, and prepared myself for the worst. “Everything okay?”
She nodded and smiled. “Everything is okay.”
“Really?” I asked, and a new onslaught of tears filled my eyes. “Ivy and the babies are okay?”
Her smile grew wider. “Your little Baby B had the cord wrapped around her neck, but Dr. Morrow was able to get her out quickly. And once we gave her a little oxygen, she started crying just as loud as her sister. Congratulations, Dad. You have two beautiful, healthy baby girls.”
I lifted my hand to my chest. “Thank God,” I whispered out like a prayer, and it felt as if the weight of the world fell off my shoulders in an instant.
“You ready to see them?”
“Yes.”
Once I stepped into the OR room, not one, but two newborn cries filled my ears, and I burst into tears of relief and joy.
And there they were, two pink, wiggly, screaming baby girls beneath an infant warmer, while nurses stood around them, checking them out.
Thank God.
I wanted to kiss their little fingers and toes.
I wanted to hold them in my arms.
But before I went to my babies, I needed to see their beautiful momma.
I needed to see Ivy.
“Can I see her?” I asked, and Mindy nodded.
“You can sit in that chair right by her. Just be careful around the sterile drape and equipment because Dr. Morrow is still finishing up the surgery.”
Carefully, I moved toward Ivy and sat down in the chair beside her head.
With glossy eyes, I gripped her hand and smiled down at her.
“You did it, baby. Two beautiful girls,” I whispered and she smiled.
“Two beautiful, ginger girls.”
Through my tears, I laughed.
“I love you so much, Ivy,” I whispered and kissed the side of her mouth. “Thank you for making my life.”