Anxiety startled me awake, and I opened my eyes to a dark, quiet bedroom.
What time is it? I wondered.
I felt like I’d been asleep for hours, possibly days, but when I snagged my phone off the nightstand and checked the time, it was only a little after nine.
I had no idea how long I’d been out cold, but the last thing I remembered was putting the girls in their cribs and reading through a new script Jason had sent over.
Sitting up on the side of the bed, I rubbed at my eyes and turned on the lamp.
The script I’d been reading lay open on the nightstand, and Levi was nowhere in sight. He’d hopped in the shower right before I’d sat on our bed, and I’d even had high hopes of taking a shower myself, but apparently, exhaustion had consumed me.
I guessed that was the story for most new moms, though.
It’d been a blissful, chaotic, yet sometimes rough two weeks.
Being a mom was hard fucking work in general. But being a mom and breastfeeding two newborns around the clock, well, it was quite the challenge.
One that I was thankful for every single day, but one hell of a task no less.
Slowly but surely, we were finding our way, though.
Levi and I had decided early on we would do this whole parenting thing without any help. We didn’t want to do what most of my Hollywood friends did when they had kids. We didn’t want a nanny raising our girls. We wanted to be the ones to care for them as much as physically possible.
But we weren’t completely crazy. The first seven days after we’d gotten home from the hospital, my mom had stayed with us and helped out.
Which, yeah, that had been a godsend.
The soft sound of Levi’s voice filtered in from the hallway, and my eyes perked up in curiosity. I could tell he was talking, but I had no idea who he was talking to.
On tired legs, I moved off the bed and into the hallway.
And instantly, I knew he was in the girls’ nursery.
I tiptoed toward the room, and when I reached the partially open door, I peeked inside to find him sitting in the rocker, both girls in his arms.
Camilla stared up at him, wide-eyed as he spoke, while Grace appeared content and asleep.
“You have your momma’s eyes,” he whispered down to our sassiest daughter. “Big, huge eyes that will for sure break some hearts when you’re older.”
He smiled down at her, and my heart damn near melted in my chest.
When I’d first found out I was pregnant, I knew Levi had had some terrifying thoughts go through his head. He wanted to be a good parent to our babies. He didn’t want to be distant like his father or completely absent like his mother.
Because of his childhood, he had some serious demons to work through.
But in the end, he’d more than proved that our girls had the very best daddy in the whole world.
He was so attentive and loving and made sure we wanted for nothing.
All three of us.
“Do you want to know a secret, Cami?” he whispered down to our daughter.
Big eyes and parted little lips, she just looked up at him in awe.
“I’m going to marry your momma,” he said softly, and my breath whooshed straight out of my lungs at his words. “Soon, I’m going to marry her. She has no idea when or where, but I do. I already have it all planned out.”
My heart pounded wildly in my chest, and I couldn’t hide the smile from my lips if I wanted to.
“But that’s our little secret, okay?” he whispered and then leaned down to kiss the top of her little forehead.
My chest grew tight from the sudden growth of my heart. As I secretly stood there, watching Levi with our girls, I was certain I’d never loved him more than right now.
He was my world, my everything, and every day, my love for him grew inside of me.
We’d started out like a fucking wildfire.
We’d hated each other. We’d done cruel things and said cruel things, but the one constant that had always remained was that we were drawn to one another.
It was like we were each other’s missing halves.
And while we’d fought it in the beginning, in the end, we couldn’t deny we were meant to be.
Life had thrown us so many obstacles. So many terrible things.
So many life-altering situations that still left scars on both of our hearts, but there was no denying that when it came to us together, we could survive anything.
I knew life wouldn’t always be easy.
Every day, for the rest of my life, I’d have to live with the fact that I’d never be able to talk to my best friend. I’d never be able to see my sister Camilla smile or hear her laugh or call her when I needed a shoulder to lean on.
I missed her like crazy, and there were moments when the grief of her loss felt so strong I thought I’d choke on it.
She’d never get to meet my daughters.
She’d never get to hold the niece I named after her.
I’d never get to see her have babies of her own or meet the man who would steal her heart.
So many moments I would never get to experience with her.
But despite all of the pain and grief and sadness that came with losing my twin sister, I still woke up every day looking forward to my life.
And that was all thanks to those three people sitting inside of that nursery.
My family.
My life.
I was lucky.
So, so lucky.
“Hey,” Levi said when he looked up from the girls and met my eyes. “How long have you been standing there?”
I shrugged. “Not that long.”
He quirked a brow. “Not that long?”
I smiled. “Don’t worry, honey. Your secrets are safe with Cami.”
The future looked vast and beautiful, and I had a feeling Levi and I would be just fine. No—we’d be more than fine. We’d be happy.