Chapter Three
A slight bit of stubble darkened his jaw and Sierra knew she’d probably had enough to drink because she wanted to rest her elbow on the table and put her chin on her hand and stare at him. The sixteen-year-old inside of her couldn’t believe she was sitting across from Gage in a bar. This was crazy.
But so perfect.
The anger and upset she’d experienced earlier seemed a long time away and she was glad to finally distance herself from it. He smiled at her as the waitress dropped off two more shots of tequila and she reached for hers and downed it. He arched one eyebrow at her before doing the same.
“Okay, cowboy, talk.”
“Technically I’m not a cowboy.”
“You’re not? You sure as heck look like one,” she said.
“I’ll give you that. So, what did you want to know?” he asked, a grin teasing the sides of his mouth.
He was flirting with her and she couldn’t help that crazy, giddy feeling that grew in the pit of her stomach. “Scotland. I want to know how you ended up there.”
“Where did you think I’d been?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I heard rumors that you’d gone down south to ride,” she said. “Like Kane.”
“Nah. I went south to the Gulf and got a job working on an oil rig.”
“What? That’s crazy,” she said. “Did you miss bull riding?”
“Sometimes but after Marty…well I just walked away. And the oil rig was a good place to go. No one at the company knew who I was except some young Okie. And that suited me just fine.”
“So how did you end up in Scotland?” she asked. She wanted to know more about walking away from bull riding but his voice had gotten tense and even in her feel-good state she knew he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Got a promotion,” he said, taking a swallow of his beer. She watched his throat work as he swallowed.
His throat was long and strong. He had a strong jaw too. Not weak like Bruce who’d asked her out a few times. She’d said no because she’d been pretty sure he’d asked because he wanted to advance his career at Montez Denim. Gage wouldn’t skulk around spying on someone. “You’re staring at me.”
“I like the way you look,” she said.
“I’m glad you do.”
“I know,” she said. She wondered if this euphoria was what Savanna felt. If this was why she’d spent all her time moving from one new relationship to another. It was nice to feel like this without the pressure of trying to make something work. Maybe…
“Good. Do you know I want to kiss you?”
She leaned in closer to him. “I suspected as much.”
“Did I answer all of your questions?”
“Nope,” she said. “Why?”
He snagged her hand in his, drawing her arm forward the slightest bit and rubbing his thumb over the back of her knuckles. “I was hoping to get you back on the dance floor. Maybe play a slow song on the jukebox and make you forget about oil rigs, sponsors and this place.”
She turned her hand under his, lacing their fingers together. His hands were rough. Working man’s hands, she thought. There were cuts and callouses on them and she rubbed her finger over them. Saw the way her pretty Summer Berry manicured nails looked against his tanned hands and imagined them on her body.
She wanted him.
She’d spent a lot of time working her ass off and focusing on her career, pretending that bull riders weren’t her cup of tea—especially this one; but he was exactly what she wanted.
“I wouldn’t mind a slow dance.”
“Then ask your questions, darlin’, because once I take you in my arms again I’m not going to be thinking about talking.”
A pulse of liquid heat went through her and she felt that emptiness between her legs. She wasn’t thinking about anything beyond this booth. Beyond his hand in hers and how good he’d felt earlier when they’d been dancing and how she’d wished she’d opened her legs when he’d lifted her onto the seat of his truck and drawn him closer to her.
But she hadn’t felt brave then. Not like she did now.
She hadn’t felt like the kind of woman who could reach out and take what she needed.
“Why Scotland?” she asked. It was the one question she had and then she was ready to forget about getting to know him better through conversation.
“It was as far away from Oklahoma as I could get,” he said.
He didn’t strike her as a man who’d run away from anything. But watching his brother die…that had to have cut through him in a way that nothing else could have. She saw those stormy shadows darken his expression. He was forgetting the fun and the flirtation.
“Okay, that’s it. Let’s dance,” she said, sliding out of the booth, and he hesitated.
She slipped onto the bench next to him, scooted over and put her forehead against his. Their faces were so close she could feel the brush of his breath against her lips each time he exhaled and see the tiny flecks of blue in his gray eyes. “We’re young. Remember? Tonight is about living in the moment. Forget the past and whatever drove you to Scotland. That’s not what we both want tonight.”
“No, it’s not,” he said, tugging her off balance.
She fell sideways into his arms and across his lap. He held her to him with his arm around her waist and caught a strand of her hair with his other hand. Rubbed it between his fingers before he lowered his head and took her mouth in a kiss that tasted of tequila and passion. Of unanswered questions and burning desires.
*
The place had an energy that made it impossible for her to hang on to the vestiges of the anger she’d felt toward her father. Though she had to admit a big part of that was generated from Gage. He had left his Stetson on the table and if she thought it strange that he could dance as well as he could, well… Why could he?
She leaned in close. His hand accidentally brushed her breast and he smiled at her and winked. She flushed. She felt the heat on her cheeks and her chest. She really needed to get over her reaction to him, but a part of her liked it.
“How come you can dance so well?” she asked.
“I like girls. Girls like to dance. So I had to learn how to do it well,” he said.
She liked his logic. There was a part of him that seemed pretty straightforward, though she knew he was hiding something too. He only let her get so close and some of his answers were meant to make her think of him in a certain context.
Good ol’ boy.
Except her daddy was a good ol’ boy as were all her uncles, so she wasn’t buying Gage’s show. Not all of it. She thought probably part of him was just what he seemed.
A country waltz came on, “Neon Moon”, an old tune by Brooks & Dunn. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. She looked up into his face, saw that his eyes weren’t serious and whatever demons had been riding him earlier seemed to have retreated. He watched her like…well, like she was the most important woman in the world to him. As if the world had narrowed to just the two of them and they were all that mattered.
And this was Gage who she’d been half in love with since she was sixteen. She wanted to believe what she saw in his eyes was real, but she prided herself on being realistic. And he hadn’t really even known she existed until tonight.
She couldn’t shut out the rest of it. The couple that were wrapped around each other like they’d been superglued that way, their mouths fused. The drunk guy behind her who kept bumping into her as he tried to swing his girl to the music. The jukebox that sometimes got loud for a second and then balanced back to normal.
“How do you do that?” she asked. “How do you concentrate on just one thing?”
He shrugged. “It’s a skill I developed for riding. You have to be able to shut out everything and focus on the ride. If you don’t, you end up dead. And I don’t want to die.”
Spontaneously she hugged him. “I don’t want that either.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I know…”
He trailed off and she didn’t have to ask. He’d seen his brother gored by a bull and watched him die. No one should have to face that as frequently as she was pretty sure Gage did. Probably each time he got on a bull.
“So, I’m guessing your focus is only for the few seconds you need to win the gold belt.”
“Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ve got staying power.”
She blushed again. Okay, seriously, this had to stop. “I wasn’t asking about that.”
“Weren’t you?” he teased. His hands drifted down to her hips and he pulled her closer to him. She noticed he fit nicely against her. Her head naturally fell to his shoulder and his arms held her close as he swung her around to the music and away from the drunk.
She closed her eyes and realized he was singing under his breath. About being beneath a neon moon. It was a bit of a sad song. She wondered if he thought of them that way.
It was a tale of broken love and she guessed it was a warning she should heed. There wasn’t a single Montez who had figured out how to make a relationship last and there was a sweetness to Gage that she hadn’t seen before. She’d been so busy taking in his muscled frame and the way his butt looked in classic Montez Denim button-flies that she hadn’t let herself dwell on the fact that he might need someone who could listen to him. The kind of gal who’d help him get over the death of his brother and whatever the fallout from that was that had sent him on the run.
Could she do that?
She wasn’t too sure. She had her career and it was finally starting to move to a place where she wanted it to go. She wasn’t like Savanna who liked having a guy in her bed every night—seriously her sister had said that one time.
But when Gage held her close, swaying to the fiddle and electric guitar and singing under his breath, she wanted to grab his hand and run away. Run far away from the AEBR Tour and Montez Denim and his past and her present.
Just go someplace where nothing existed but the two of them.
And how childish was that? she wondered.
Running away wasn’t the way to deal with this. She liked him. Not just his rock-hard abs and tight ass. She liked his crooked smile and the way he teased her and called her darlin’. She finally understood something that she’d thought she’d gotten all along. That attraction didn’t follow any rules she’d made up for herself. In theory, she should be able to just have sex with him and walk away.
Hook up and be all casual about it later; but she knew she wasn’t going to be able to do that. She wasn’t ever going to forget that moment when the music stopped playing and she looked up into those gray eyes of his and realized that he meant more to her than she’d thought he would.
That her long ago crush had been nothing compared to the feelings welling up in her now. She wanted to say something so that he’d know this wasn’t casual to her. But then she thought it might be to him.
Just because she liked him didn’t mean he felt the same. She might just be his Sacramento hookup.
*
Sierra felt right in his arms. Her lips moved under his, her tongue rubbing over his and her mouth opening as she tipped her head to the side to deepen the kiss. He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger and then pushed his hand into her hair, cupping the back of her head. She moaned deep in her throat and he realized he’d had enough of the bar. Maybe he’d never really wanted to come here at all.
Sierra was the only thing he needed for what was on his mind. Fighting seemed a pale way to get rid of the demons riding him when faced with her sweet curves. Sierra tamed something wild inside of him that he’d never realized was howling to get out until now. Until her.
He took her hand in his and led her off the dance floor and over to the booth where he’d stashed his hat.
“Do you want another drink?”
She shook her head. “I think I’ve had enough of the bar.”
“Me too.”
He took her hand and walked out of the bar with the intent of getting to his truck. As soon as he stepped outside the night air wrapped around him, reminding him it was late summer. She laughed as she stumbled against him, throwing her head back and staring up at the night sky.
“What? You don’t want to dance anymore?”
He lifted her off her feet, pulling her into his arms. “Would you rather dance in there?”
“Nope,” she said, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders. “No man has ever carried me before and you’ve done it twice tonight.”
“You’re just a tiny thing,” he said.
“Which doesn’t explain why you keep picking me up,” she said. “Not complaining by the way. I like the way your biceps bulge each time you do it.”
He couldn’t explain it without feeling super foolish so he kept his mouth shut. “You like my arms?”
“I do. But honestly, Gage, there isn’t much on you I don’t like,” she said, sighing a little. “I’ve always felt so superior to Savanna and my momma but tonight I finally get it. I can see how they lose their heads over a man.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” he asked. He had forgotten he might be a novelty to her. That he might be her bull rider just like Savanna had set her sights on one of the Brazilian riders.
“Well I’m not thinking like myself. But you know what? I’ve been playing by the rules all my life and no one takes me seriously. No matter what I do…for once I want to take what I want. Not think about the consequences. Just live in the moment.”
“Like you told me to do,” he said, walking with her in his arms toward the truck. When he got to his pickup truck he heard the doors unlock with the proximity alert he’d set up when he got his new ride. He held her easily with one arm and opened the door, setting her down on the seat.
This time she kept her arms around him. She leaned down to kiss him and knocked his hat askew, then she took it off his head and tossed it onto the back seat of his quad cab. She put her hands on either side of his head, tunneling her fingers through his hair. She tipped his head back and he looked up at her. Saw the longing and desire that echoed the same feelings deep in his soul.
“Darlin’, you’re making me think things…”
“What things?”
“Stuff that I haven’t really had a thought about in a long time. Things that could distract me from what’s important,” he admitted.
“What is it?” she asked. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
He believed that he could. But he didn’t want to share the complicated relationship he had with his parents. How his mom was both afraid for him and proud of him for being the bigger man. How his dad was treating him in a way that Gage had never really believed the old man could. How every day he got a little deeper into needing to win not for himself, not for the joy of riding but because that was the only way he could convince himself to keep the lie going.
And somehow when he held Sierra, even though he barely knew her, she made him feel like maybe winning wasn’t the be-all and end-all. He really hoped to hell that feeling was wrong because he knew he was broken. And a complicated mess. And it was one thing to kiss her and take her on the front seat of his truck. But something else entirely if he got attached to her.
He had never been able to make anyone stay when he wanted them to. Never really tried because he’d always known there was something broken inside of him. Something that was destructive and hurtful—
“Gage, stop. Whatever it is you’re thinking just stop. Tonight, I’m not your sponsor and you’re not one of our riders. Tonight, we’re just Sierra and Gage and neither of us have to worry about the future. This is it. Just tonight.”
Tonight.
She was saying the right things. That was exactly the kind of woman he wanted and needed. And if he could just convince his mind that this wasn’t a mistake.
But then she wrapped those long legs of hers around him and pulled him closer with her fingers wrapped around the back of his neck. She arched her back as she drew his head down to hers and this time when their mouths met they weren’t in the parking lot of a bar. There was only him and her and the bed of his truck and the night sky filled with stars and a waning moon to see them.
And that was all he needed. He shifted her in his arms, took control of the kiss and stopped looking for reasons to walk away when all he really wanted tonight was her.