“How’s your food?”

I chewed my bite and covered my mouth with a napkin as I swallowed.

“Mmm.”

“That’s what I want to hear.” Gavin cut into his chicken parmigiana while I lovingly attacked my spaghetti and giant meatballs.

I could’ve wiggled in my chair from the foodgasm exploding in my mouth.

“I’ve never seen meatballs this big. They’re as big as my fist.”

Gavin looked and shook his head. “Nope. They’re way bigger than your baby fist.”

“Baby fist? I’ll have you know this fist is far from being tiny and underdeveloped.”

Gavin gave it another look. “Nope. You have a baby fist, Paige. Deal with it.”

“Hmph.”

Secretly, I loved the teasing.

I didn’t dare return it back to Gavin just in case he didn’t even realize he was doing it. Instead, I took another delicious bite of my meatball and asked, only after barely swallowing, “How’s your chicken?”

He gave a thumbs up as response.

I smiled and continued eating as if my mind wasn’t zeroing in on all that was left unsaid from earlier.

My instinct knew Gavin’s upcoming words were going to be important to me and our working relationship. I worried that this meal was the last kindness he’d give me before giving me the ax.

And yes, once again I was preoccupied with being fired.

It was tiresome to worry like this but I knew I existed on borrowed time. Every day I wondered if the stress of it all was worth it. At least if Gavin fired me then I could finally relax and not feel like I was constantly looking over my shoulder.

But then I wouldn’t get to see him anymore.

That was also sadly true.

The risk didn’t outstrip the reward. It was more than worth it to me to be this close to my idol.

Still, I wished Gavin would just hurry up and get to the damned point. I hated being left in the dark like this while he seemed completely at ease with drawing it out.

Sadist. Definitely a sadist.

We both turned down coffee in favor of dessert. Tiramisu for him. Cheesecake for me.

“That’s an odd choice,” I pointed with my spoon. “You don’t drink coffee.”

“I know. It’s my favorite though,” Gavin answered with an easy shrug. “I’ve eaten it forever.”

Tiramisu was also Melissa’s favorite dessert. I didn’t think it was a coincidence.

Once again this proved I was the worst kind of phony. Gavin had no idea how much I knew of his personal life. It was patently unfair of me to sit here as if he was as much a stranger to me as I was to him.

I wondered if I’d really get away with this. If I did, would I be able to forgive myself for lying to this man? Especially one who was so special to me?

It’s not personal. It’s just what you do. You always lie. To Gavin, to your neighbors, to everyone you meet. You can’t be yourself. No one can see the real you.

Empty except the pain.

So much pain, so much disappointment, so much helplessness. You’re doing everyone a kindness, really, by keeping your real self hidden.

Was it the truth or my justification? I still didn’t know.

Sometimes I wished I wasn’t this damaged and broken. I wished I could be as genuine as I appeared. I wished I could be someone other than who I really was...weak, afraid, desperate to be loved but knowing I didn’t deserve it.

Pitiful. Always pitiful.

Some people were born under a lucky star. They got a loving family, caring friends, and confidence in knowing who they were was enough.

Not me. Never me—not in this lifetime.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you here tonight.”

Finally.

My last bite settled in my stomach like a stone. I shifted in my chair. A winsome, but professional smile, touched my lips.

“It crossed my mind a time or two.”

“Yeah? I thought you might have forgotten all about it. You were so at ease with me.” Gavin wiped his mouth with the red linen napkin. “To be honest, I’m not used to that. My employees are usually convinced I’m about to fire them whenever I invite them to lunch.”

“Imagine that.”

Instead of being offended by my drawl, Gavin gave me another one of his gorgeous smiles. “You are a brave one, Ms. Winters.”

“That or I’ve taken one too many sips of this excellent wine, Mr. Hawthorne.”

He tipped his head. “You haven’t even finished one glass yet.”

“Maybe I’m a lightweight.”

“I doubt that. Drink up, Paige. We’re out of the office. I’m not going to judge you for drinking.”

Gavin poured more of the red wine into my half-empty glass. I hoped I could get it passed his attention that I wasn’t drinking that much. Not because I was a lightweight but because I didn’t care for the taste of wine.

“I’m beginning to think you’re trying to fill me up with liquid courage. Either that or get me to make a complete fool of myself so that you can fire me.”

Gavin shook his head. A tiny frown twisted his kissable lips. I regretted seeing it. I liked seeing him at ease. He wore it well.

“I don’t need a reason to fire you. I can fire you on the spot. Right now if I wanted.”

My crossed legs tensed beneath the table. I was relaxed as I ever was from the waist up. I propped my chin on my hand.

“Is that a warning?”

“No. It’s just fact.” He drank his wine. I followed suit. “Seriously, what is it with your preoccupation of me getting rid of you, Paige? I know you already answered that earlier but I didn’t buy what you were selling. Tell me the truth. Are you that unhappy working for me?”

I immediately sat up. This could be dangerous. Powerful men had powerful egos. It wouldn’t help my case if I bruised his.

“Not in the slightest.” That much was blissfully true.

“Then what is it?”

The situation quickly ventured over in uncomfortable territory. I didn’t want Gavin to realize how astute he was regarding my fear. I wanted him to tell me why he brought me out of the office.

“I guess I’m off-balance because of the conversation we had before coming here.”

Gavin set his glass down and looked at me straight. The effect of his hazel gaze was instantaneous. I felt like I could just stare into his eyes for hours. They were so magnetic.

“I figured as much.”

Gavin shifted in his chair and drummed his fingers against the table. For the first time ever, I noted he looked vulnerable. It surprised me. Gavin always seemed in control of every situation, big or small.

Although my mouth opened to remind him of his last words, I wisely kept my silence and was soon rewarded.

“Paige, I meant what I said in the elevator. I want you to tell me your thoughts.”

“Why?”

Gavin seemed to bring out the awkward in me. Maybe it was because I really did want him to like me. Not the shell but me.

Focus! Now isn’t the time for your bullshit.

Oh God, I was so out of control of this situation. I was going to lose everything if I didn’t watch myself better.

“Because I do.”

“But why? You’re not paying me to express my ideas. You’re paying me to do as I’m told.”

Gavin’s frown told me he vehemently disagreed. “I’m not paying you to be a mindless robot or slave. I’m paying you to be an independent thinker. I’m paying you to bring another viewpoint to my table.”

“So you want me to be disagreeable?”

“Not for its own sake.”

“I see. Okay. Why do you keep bringing up the fact I’m not going to work for you past a month? I realize that. I know my work for you is temporary. There’s no need to keep repeating it.”

“I’m bringing it up so that it’s clear.”

“It was clear the day you hired me. It’s been clear every day since.”

“You’re misunderstanding me.” Gavin leaned forward and laced his fingers together. “I bring it up so that you know my interest in you is not to further your career in exchange for my attention.”

Interest in me?

I blinked several times. My heartbeat quickened.

“What exactly do you mean, Gavin?”

His shoulders tensed. He looked uncomfortable for the slightest of moments.

“My interest in you is personal.”