Tessa
“Hey, Tessa.” Gray stood on my front porch.
I wasn’t expecting him.
Which of course meant I slammed the door in his face. Didn’t mean to. Knee-jerk reaction.
Sully sat at my feet staring up at me confused as to why I didn’t let him near one of his favorite people.
It was silly but I hadn’t seen Gray in three weeks, and I swear, I forgot how striking he was. He was a shock to the system. He was a cold bucket of water over the head. He was an Oh-my-God-how-could-I-be-out-of-peanut-butter-cups level of freak out.
But also, I’d had another strategy meeting with Laura and Gigi since my plan had stalled. Maybe it had even failed. Thinking back, Gray and I had actually only had sex—all the way, Hail Mary Pray for Us sex—one night. And then for all intents and purposes he’d made himself scarce. All but disappeared. And that sounded too much like a one night stand.
Gigi had offered me three more options to attract Gray.
Option one: Just be myself.
Option two: Olga the mysterious Russian.
Option three: A belly dancer.
After much thought and deliberation I decided to take the crazy option: Just be myself. (Which to be fair was the first option she’d suggested when I’d first gone to her for advice.) Crazy because I could never predict when Awkward Tessa was going to show up. Like just now. When I slammed the door in Gray’s face and had been standing here freaking out instead of opening the door back up. Open the door, Awkward Tessa.
I took a breath and swung open the door. Just be yourself. “Hi, Gray. Um…sorry about that.”
“I’m pretty used to it by now.” He sent me a lopsided smile. “Sorry I couldn’t wrap up your job. I knew I was putting you in good hands with Eli taking over. I was nearby and thought I’d follow up now. Make sure you’re satisfied with the job. Maybe see if you needed anything adjusted.”
I immediately thought of two or three things he could adjust that would guarantee I’d end up satisfied, but I forced myself to think about the kitchen instead.
“Sure, come in.” I stepped back to let him in while Sully’s whole body wagged an excited greeting. “Eli was great to work with. I do have a drawer that doesn’t seem to close correctly. Otherwise, so far it’s great. You Thorne brothers do good work.”
“We aim to please.” Gray’s eyes held mine for a long second before he pulled his gaze away. He took the time to slip off his muddy work boots, leaving them on the front porch, before stepping inside and crouching to give Sully a warm greeting. Somehow my dog and my soul mate (according to my inner voice) had bonded better than Gray and I had.
“I guess you last saw it when it was pretty much done, so this might not be a big deal for you.” I led the way back to the kitchen and moved to lean against a counter, giving Gray space to see the finished kitchen. “The only thing different is the drawer pulls and knobs are on the cabinets and the appliances are in.”
“Only? Tessa, I’m a designer. The finishing touches are the good stuff. I would argue they’re even more important than icing on a cake. And I don’t believe in cake without frosting. I know my brothers don’t quite get it, but something as simple as choosing the exact right drawer pull can change the whole feel of a kitchen.” He stood in the doorway and took the room in. His gaze moving methodically over each run of cabinets, not simply appreciating but evaluating. “And every reno we finish for someone is a big deal. I spent too many years growing up in rundown trailers. I firmly believe helping someone create a nice space to live in, something nice to come home to, is an important job.”
This man had layers. Layers he hid from most people. I knew what he was talking about on a small scale. I’d hated staring at that creepy crack in the ceiling for months and months during my recovery. It depressed me day after day. And that was only one single crack.
Gray had spent his childhood in ugly, rundown, and depressing places. He’d taken his ugly experiences as a child and turned them into something positive by giving people beautiful spaces that uplifted and enriched lives.
“Well, it looks great, Tessa.” He turned to look at me. “I’m glad we could get this done for you. Whenever you’re ready to deal with the rest of the house, just let me know.”
“I’m ready,” I said, maybe too quickly. I did need the house done. I did. But I also had hated not seeing Gray the last few weeks. Beginning the rest of the renovation project would put him back into my orbit. I just wanted one more shot at him. Only this time I’d just be me. No man whispering. No saying no. Unless I disliked an idea for the reno. Then of course I’d say no. Seeing him again. Having him standing in my kitchen with his blue, blue eyes, his wind-blown dirty blond hair, his sexy scent, and his smile—I liked him in my space. In my life. “In fact, I’d like to sign a contract for it today and get on SBC’s schedule. I’m that ready.”
“Okay. That’s great. I’ve even got the proposal out in my truck. I’ll go grab it.” He nodded at me and turned to leave—only to stop and turn back. “Before we move forward, I should tell you, I didn’t really stop by to check on your kitchen.”
“You didn’t?” My pulse picked up. My voice came out breathy like a “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” Marilyn Monroe breathy.
“I didn’t.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked out my new gorgeous, extremely large window over my sink before swinging his gaze back to mine. “I couldn’t stay away.”
“I didn’t ask you to. In fact, I like having you around.” My eyes searched his, moving over his face to see if there was something I was missing. “Did I do something to piss you off? I do have a history of doing that.”
He laughed and gave a shake of his head. “No. I was trying to be professional and reestablish the client/contractor relationship. But then I woke up this morning and it was raining.”
“It was raining.” I gave him a blank stare as I wasn’t making the connection.
“It was raining and the first thing I thought of was you. I wondered if you had a migraine or how bad you were hurting.” He huffed out a breath. “And that’s when I realized maybe we could figure out a way through both working together and spending some time not working together.”
The breath I didn’t know I was holding released. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”
As soon as I agreed, he was standing in front of me. He stood close enough I could feel his heat but he didn’t touch me. His hands were still in his pockets. “How are you feeling today? With the rain?”
“Achy, but no headache because I preempted it with meds.” It melted my insides that he thought of me. I really wanted to go up on my tippy toes and kiss him. But before I plotted how to get my lips on his, Gray took control.
“I would like nothing more than to kiss you right now,” he said, his eyes moving from my eyes, to my lips, and back to my eyes again. “Would that be okay?”
“That would be more than okay.”
He wrapped one hand around the nape of my neck, and the other went to the small of my back. Both hands pulled me firmly into him. Our gazes caught and held, and then he dropped his head and touched his lips to mine. It wasn’t soft. It was a hard, hot, wet kiss that held all the pent up passion we’d missed over the last three weeks.
I was pretty sure my hands touched him wherever they could reach. His chest and his bulging biceps, around his waist and up his back. The kiss ended when we ran out of air. He pulled his lips away, but rested his forehead against mine.
“Do I smell chocolate cake?”
“I’m trying out my new ovens.”
“If I came by after work do you think I could have a piece?”
I think he could have anything he wanted from me. “Yes, you can have a piece of cake. Two even.”
“Even better. How about I bring dinner? Maybe some Italian from Luigi’s?”
I leaned my head back to look at him. “Why don’t I cook dinner in my brand new kitchen?”
“Because it’s supposed to rain all day. Do you like lasagna?”
This guy. If he kept it up I’d fall from lust into love, although I was pretty sure I was more than halfway there. “I love lasagna.”
“Okay. I’ve got to get to work. But I’ll be over after six with dinner.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered us to the front door. Then he drew me back into his chest for a kiss. This one softer, almost like marking his place for later. “I’ll bring the proposal and we can figure out how to make this work.”
I didn’t even for sure know what “this” was, but I wanted to make it work.
* * * *
Guess who was at my door at one minute after six?
Guess who slammed the door in his face?
Ha! Just kidding. I couldn’t let him in fast enough.
Gray had his briefcase in one hand and the take-out bag from Luigi’s along with a plastic grocery bag in his other. He stood in my foyer soaking wet from running from his truck to the door. His hair was plastered to his head, looking darker than it was. Drops of rain slid down his face, falling to his soaked T-shirt which was molded to his chest.
For the first time in three years, I didn’t mind the rain so much.
“Got a towel?” Gray asked, a smile crooked on his face as if he could read my mind.
“Oh, right.” I retrieved a dish towel from the kitchen, trading him the towel for the bag from Luigi’s. “This smells wonderful.”
Gray followed me through to the kitchen and stood toweling his hair and face. He dropped his briefcase against the wall and placed the bag on the center island. “I got a bottle of red wine and a carton of chocolate milk.”
“I feel guilty. I should be cooking you a meal in my new kitchen.” That is what’s known as a polite fib. I didn’t feel that guilty. I normally would have, but the lasagna smelled too good. And Gray was looking too sexy to regret that he’d gotten soaked running around picking up our dinner. “But a glass of wine with dinner sounds nice.”
We sat at the kitchen table eating lasagna and salad with a glass of cabernet while we caught up on each other’s lives.
“What have you been up to? How’s growing your business going? I guess it slowed you down without your kitchen for the last few weeks.”
“Volunteering with Sully. Dad let me bake up some batches of treats at his place last week, so it worked out. Joe’s been helping me drop off samples to different businesses on our way to and from volunteering.”
“How’s the driving going?” He cut into his pasta with the side of his fork before his gaze rose back up to mine. “Your van doesn’t look like it’s moved.”
“No, it hasn’t. With my kitchen torn apart, I didn’t worry about it. Now that I’ve got my kitchen back, it’ll be back at the top of my list.”
“You’ll get there, Tessa. Hell, look how far you’ve come already.” His blue eyes gave me a long look. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just ask.”
If only it was that easy. But the counselor said my anxiety wasn’t unusual after a bad accident like mine. And also not unusual that the physical recovery was easier and faster than working through the grief of losing a loved one. Sure I was frustrated with myself. Frustrated when the grief and guilt hit me from behind, setting me back. Frustrated I let the anxiety thwart my recovery. Instead of giving in to that frustration, I clung to my motto: give a little every day. Baby steps.
“Hey, enough about me. What’s going on in your life? I noticed you came by to check the work here a few times. I saw your initials on the log.” SBC liked to have each client keep a log of visitors. Partly for safety, so a client knew who was in their house. But it also helped the client see the daily effort that went into their job.
“Normal stuff. Helped Eli finish your kitchen, picked up two new clients, hung out with my brothers, and found out we have a sister we never knew about.”
“What? That’s amazing.” I leaned forward to look closer into his eyes. “Isn’t it?”
“It is.” His gaze fell to his plate and I saw the muscles in his jaw contract.
“But it isn’t Ryker.” I reached out and grabbed his hand. I knew how badly he wanted to find his brother. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He turned his hand over and wrapped ours together, giving mine a squeeze. “But a sister is exciting. Although we have yet to meet her. She may not want to meet us.”
“What girl wouldn’t want six brothers?”
He grinned at me. “Probably a lot.”
“I’m an only child. I’d love to suddenly learn I had six brothers.”
“Yeah, but you’re a ball buster.” He winked at me and rose, clearing our plates to the sink.
I laughed and helped with the dishes. We moved to the couch in the family room and turned on the Roughnecks game while we went over the plans and proposal Gray had put together during the last three weeks. He’d easily fit all my wants—even the wants I didn’t know I had until seeing them just now—into my reno budget.
“Gray, I love these.” I looked up at him in wonder. “You’re very good at this, you know that?”
“Those slides we went through together helped. You have definite likes. We simply had to figure them out. Normally, I can use a client’s Pinterest account for that same purpose. But to my shock and utter disbelief, you don’t have a Pinterest account.” He gave me a fake worried face. At least I hoped it was fake. “What’s up with that, woman?”
“I’ve been busy, I guess. I went from college right into my Master’s degree and then to my first CPA job. Heck, I’d only been working two years before the crash. And had other things on my mind the last three years, so…”
“You’re a certified CPA?” he asked.
“Was. I can’t sit at a desk for the long hours needed, or even a standing desk. Plus after my TBI, I can’t concentrate for hours at a time. At least not yet. Maybe things will change over time.”
“You’ve had to reinvent a whole new life, haven’t you?” His hand cupped my cheek, his eyes roaming my face. “You are constantly amazing me.”
I got lost in his kiss. Happily off the road, deep into the woods, lost in his kiss. Lost in the taste of him and the way he tugged my hair when he got carried away. In the way he bit my bottom lip and the way he took his time and savored me. And best of all, the way he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.