Chapter Fifteen
Work should have been simple. She had a straightforward budget proposal to put together that any other day would have been finished by now. But it was hard to concentrate when temptation sat on the other side of the wide mahogany desk.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she said, not bothering to look up from the screen in front of her.
“You don’t know how I’m looking at you,” Jackson replied.
She shut her laptop and turned her attention to her boss. “Are you thinking about work?”
His grin was unrepentant. “No.”
“Exactly.”
They were sitting on the couches in his office where they’d spent most of the day. The other EAs had descended on her the second she’d come into the office this morning, demanding details she’d declined to provide. Instead, she’d holed up in here where they couldn’t reach her.
Marc had needed some research work done and she’d just finished sending the newly prepped file to him. Things were progressing well on the other side of the world, but he needed more time to close the deal. Which meant they need to keep their charade going longer.
“Head hurting?” she asked when he rubbed his forehead.
“Always,” he sighed.
“You need to go in for a check-up.”
“I’ve been to see Dr. Warren a few times.”
“And are you following his advice?”
He grinned at her. “Most of it.”
She shook her head. “We’re intelligent people. You should listen to us.”
“Or?”
She leaned back, arching a brow. “Thanks to Saturday, I now have a whole new set of threats I can use.”
“Mm-hmm?” He pushed out of his plush chair and walked over to her. Bracing himself on the couch, he leaned down to kiss her.
With a contented sigh, she enjoyed the gentle touch.
“What exactly will you threaten me with that’s not also a punishment for you?” he asked against her lips.
“Dammit. Why do you have to be so smart?”
With a smile, he stood and wandered to the window. “We’ve been in here all day. Let’s get out of the office.”
“And go where? You live here or in your house. I’m not sure you even know the rest of the city exists.”
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing out the floor to ceiling window the lined two walls of his office.
Joining him at the window, she followed his gaze.
“The park?” she asked.
“Yeah. All those trees.”
She shrugged. “It’s nice, I suppose. Lots of greenery. But you have never once wanted to go there.”
“Let’s go for a walk, then.”
“What? We have work to do.”
“I think ten hours is enough for one day, don’t you?”
“I’m not convinced you have an off switch.”
“Sue me for wanting to spend time with you.”
“You spend literally every waking moment with me.”
“And still it’s not enough.”
Aw.
“Come on. Let’s go before we lose the sun.”
“Seriously? You want to go walk in the park?”
“Yep. Right now.” Turning on his heel, he began shutting down the files open on his computer and tidying the papers on his desk. “You joining me?” he asked when he was done.
“This is crazy.”
“All the best plans are.”
“You are not a walk-in-the-woods sort of man.”
“Time to turn over a new leaf, then.” He turned to grin at her like a naughty little boy. “Leaf, get it?” Still chuckling to himself, he went to the office door and held it open.
“Come on, Carlow. Be spontaneous.”
“Neither one of us has a spontaneous bone in our bodies.”
“Time to shake things up, then.” He walked out the door, calling, “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“Dammit, he’s serious,” she muttered. Running to the couch, she shut down her laptop and grabbed her purse. She caught him by the time he’d reached the elevator and the smile he gave her stole her breath away.
“I knew I could count on you.”
“Always,” she promised, stepping into the elevator with him.
Within minutes they were on the bustling city street, dodging other commuters no doubt headed home for the night.
“We won’t have the sun for long,” she warned as she led the way. “This isn’t a terribly impressive park.”
“Doesn’t matter. I just wanted to get out of the office.” He caught her hand in his, threading their fingers together. “So I can do things like this.”
There was no stopping the pleasure that rushed through her. For a few minutes, they could pretend they were like anyone else on the street. Just a couple headed home for the evening together. No businesses in peril or Swiss bank accounts to worry about.
“I suppose I’ll have to relearn the city, too,” he said.
“Maybe some of it will be automatic. Or maybe you’ll get your memory back soon enough that it won’t matter.”
“I thought you didn’t want me to get my memory back?”
She tugged on his hand until he looked at her. “I’ve always wanted your memory to come back. Even knowing what it means for us.”
“Just that selfless, hmm?”
“If I was, I wouldn’t have let any of this happen.”
“Then I, for one, am thrilled with your bad decision.” He ducked down to steal a quick kiss.
“Stop it,” she said, laughing. “Look we’re almost there. Go enjoy your trees.”
And give us a little more time to pretend we’re normal.
…
He walked away from the bustling city sounds with relief. The park might only be a few blocks, but it was large enough to provide some peace.
“Pretty,” Lori said by his side. “I never think to come here.”
The shade of the trees and the sounds of the birds almost helped dull the ever-present pounding in his head.
He closed his eyes to enjoy the silence.
“You okay?”
He glanced at his companion. “Fine,” he said. He never told her when the headaches got worse. The last thing he wanted was for her to go back to seeing him as a patient when he’d finally convinced her to see him for himself.
“Is your wrist hurting?” she asked.
“Nah. It’s healing nicely.”
“Your head, then?”
“I’m all good. Come on, there’s a perfect hill over there.”
“Perfect for what?” she asked as he tugged her off the paved path and half way up the little incline.
Dropping down on the grass, he held out his arms to her.
“If you have a tailor, he’s going to kill you for those grass stains.”
“It’s worth it,” he said. “Come on.”
With a sigh, she dropped to the ground beside him. “What are we doing?”
“This.”
Lying back, he pulled her with him until they were staring up at the clouds above. Lori nestled more closely against him, her head propped on his shoulder.
“Oh,” she sighed.
“Still think this was a bad idea?”
“No, not that it’s good for your ego.”
“Just admit it. I’m always right.”
“And humble.”
“That’s the word on the street.”
She turned her head toward him and leaned closer to drop a light kiss on his lips. “This once, I’ll admit you did good.”
Together they stared up at the darkening sky. The sun was sinking ever closer to the horizon, but as the minutes ticked by, Jackson didn’t want to leave.
I like the simple moments with her better than the billionaire moments without her.
It made him wonder again what it was about his old life that he’d been satisfied with.
“Look at the colors from the sunset,” she said, pointing up at the sky.
The clouds floated by, edged in a soft orange glow.
I want more times like this. Simple. Peaceful.
And he didn’t think any of that would be possible without Lori in his arms.
I’m in trouble here.
Despite his promises, none of them knew what would happen when his memories returned. On the one hand, he couldn’t wait to regain his past but on the other, it was a terrifying prospect that the man he was today might be completely changed.
The person Lori had fallen into bed with might not exist later.
Doesn’t matter. I’ll still care about her.
Wouldn’t he?
“Deep thoughts?”
He turned his head to stare down at her. “Just the normal.”
She rolled into his side, throwing an arm around his middle. “I should tell you we need to get home and work out our game plan for tomorrow, but I don’t want to think about work.”
“I vote no shop-talk. Who wants to talk about my company, anyways? I know what I’d rather focus on.”
“Oh? And what’s that?”
“My favorite subject. You.”
She laughed. “What do you want to know?”
“Tell me something about you. Something you haven’t told me before.”
She pursed her lips as she thought, no doubt running through her mental list of memories.
What is it like remembering more than a few weeks at a time?
Maybe one day he’d find out.
“I used to make the best snickerdoodle cookies ever.”
“What?”
She let out a little laugh. “I told you. I’m originally a small-town girl. My mom always loved to bake and our house smelled like cakes and cookies year-round. I was terrible at most recipes, still am, FYI, but for some reason I could make killer cookies. My favorites were snickerdoodles, so my mom and I would spend hours throughout my childhood making the cookies for holidays or gifts. Or just for the hell of it whenever someone in the family had a craving.” He could hear the smile in her voice.
“Make them for me sometime,” he said.
She snuggled closer to him. “I haven’t attempted them in years. Who knows if I can still do it?”
“Sounds like it’s time to regain your cookie-queen crown.”
“Maybe you’re a master cookie-maker yourself.”
His headache sharpened, stabbing into his brain so hard he hissed in pain, causing Lori to stiffen against him.
“Jackson?” she said, pushing herself up to see his face.
The sight of the setting sun vanished before his eyes. Instead he was in a kitchen he’d never seen before sitting on the floor. Next to him was a small child with curly dark hair and blue eyes just like his. The child had a muffin in his hands, and looking down, he realized he did, too.
Notes of music drifted to him, and he realized one more person was in the room. A woman stood at the stove, oven mitts on her hands as she hummed to herself. He couldn’t see her face, just the back of her body as she fussed with the fresh batch of muffins.
Turn around. Let me see you.
Just the sight of the woman filled him with a mixture of peace and pain. Who was she? Who was the boy?
My family.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, the memory vanished. The park reappeared around them and the singing woman disappeared into the recesses of his mind.
“Jackson, Jackson!”
He blinked, looking up into the worried face of his lover. “I’m okay,” he said.
But there was no hiding from the panic in her gaze. “What happened?” she demanded. “Do we need to get an ambulance?”
“No.” Reaching for her, he pulled her back down against him, wrapping his arms around her as if she could anchor him. “The price is a hell of a headache, but I remembered something. I think I was in my mother’s kitchen with…with Marc. When we were kids.”
“That’s amazing,” she said, wiggling until she could stare up at him. “That’s your first real memory. We have to call Dr. Warren.”
“I will,” he promised. “Just let me enjoy this for a second.”
She quieted, giving him the respite to close his eyes and picture his brother’s face. There was something about the chubby toddler than inspired a deep, lasting affection. Marc had always been a faceless stranger. More of an idea than a person. But even with this vague memory, he felt…
Less alone.
“This is great,” Lori whispered. “More memories might start coming back any day now.”
But there was an edge to her voice that had him frowning. “Make me a deal,” he said. “When my memories fully return, make some snickerdoodles for me.”
She was silent for a heartbeat. “Sure,” she said but the happiness had leeched from her voice.
She doesn’t think I’ll still want them when I remember.
Or her.
And there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it. He couldn’t convince her of his intentions. Not when he couldn’t swear in good conscience that he knew how this would end. Maybe she was right. Maybe the other him really had never wanted her. He couldn’t imagine how it was possible but he’d been a different man.
Which meant she might be utterly correct, as she was about most things. He could spend the best time of his life with her only to have all that desire fade away right before her eyes.
How can she take a risk like that? How can she think I’m worth it?
His arm tightened on her. No matter what, he never wanted to lose her.
But for the first time he wondered whether he’d really have much choice in the matter.