Chapter Six
He doesn’t need me.
Lori sat on the couch, staring sightlessly at the TV that could double for a small movie screen. Every channel imaginable was at her fingertips, and yet all she could think about was Jackson.
Today had been the slowest she’d ever worked with him. He lived his life constantly on call, so she had to as well. It wasn’t unusual to get late-night emails or have her phone buzz with notifications all through the weekend. If he was working, so was she.
Except today when he needed her most, he’d sent her away.
He’d rather read the day away than ask me for help.
She pulled her legs up onto the couch and dropped her head on her knees.
She’d gone and rescued her car, followed by a quick dash home to pack a bag. Then she’d moved in to her new guest room and gotten set up and organized. After that, all she could do was wait. Wait and hope he’d ask for her help.
Except he didn’t.
Was it because of how she’d reacted to him last night? Marc had been insistent that she handle this. It was her mistake, it should be her fix. But how did she fix a problem she couldn’t get near?
He doesn’t even know about the accident and he still doesn’t trust me. What would he do if he knew I was the one who ran him over?
Put that way, she was a damned catch.
Maybe it’s better for everyone if he doesn’t lean on me.
She’d just keep letting him down.
“That doesn’t look comfortable.”
She lifted her head to see Jackson walking into the living room, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I don’t suppose there’s anything to eat?”
“I sent the staff away to give you more privacy,” she said.
He dropped onto the couch beside her. “Toast for dinner?”
Pushing her dark thoughts away, she focused on solving the task at hand. “I think we can do better.” Grabbing her phone, she dialed one of her most-called numbers.
“Hi, it’s Lori Carlow calling. Yes, yes exactly. Can I get our usual order plus some extra fortune cookies? Great, thanks.” Hanging up, she told him, “Chinese will be here in half an hour.”
He eyed her phone. “I take it we do this a lot.”
“Your chef isn’t on every night and we often work weird hours. It’s become our routine.”
“Because you know everything I like.”
“A good assistant should know what you need before you do.” She frowned. “Actually, I should have made that call before you even came out of the study.”
“I promise to keep your secret and not tell the governing board of executive assistants.”
She rolled her eyes. “I think moving in to help my boss puts me in excellent standing.”
His gaze flicked in the direction of the hall. “Did you get everything you needed today?”
“My suitcase is upstairs. I took the bedroom at the end of the main hall.”
He nodded.
Silence descended. She should probably ask about his studying but every instinct within her wanted to avoid the subject.
But without work, what did they talk about?
They rarely spoke of anything else. Jackson had asked if he’d known about her life before the accident and the truth was, he really didn’t. In their years together, the odd personal conversation had popped up, but usually they had clear lines governing their relationship.
Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did.
It wasn’t like they ever braided each other’s hair, talking about hopes and dreams.
Could I have built everything up in my head? Or had she fallen in love with the only side of him she knew? The CEO?
“What are you thinking?”
The soft words cut through her musings. “What?”
“You’re frowning.” He reached out, tracing a light fingertip across her brow. “Bad thoughts?”
“No, I was just…” Wondering about dangerous things. She cleared her throat. “Want to eat in here or should we set the table?”
“You do that a lot.”
“Ask questions?”
“Deflect.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“I’m sure.”
She dropped her eyes, not enjoying the piercing stare he’d leveled on her. It was almost as if…
As if he sees me.
In a way he never had before.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said, trying to steer them back to calmer waters.
“That’s my line.”
“I wasn’t thinking about anything interesting.”
“You don’t know what I find interesting anymore. Neither do I.”
Screw it. Talking about the business is better than having the spotlight on me.
“How about the company? Did you find your studying interesting?”
A small smile tugged at his lips. “Back to safe ground, eh?”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“Mm-hmm.” But he took pity on her and leaned back with a sigh. “I went through the stack you left me for tomorrow and the ones for the rest of the week.”
Surprise sliced through her. “That’s a hell of a lot of information.”
“Turns out I’m a fast learner. The deeper I went, the more things felt…almost familiar. As if my brain was functioning in a way that is automatic, instinctual. The more I read, the more I could see how the pieces fit together. I get the strategy and I get how to survive the next few days. Where I stalled was the personal side of this.”
“What do you mean?”
“The people,” he said. “I understand the basics of the business, but I need you to walk me through the people I’ll meet tomorrow and what they’ll expect from me.”
“You need me?” A warm glow lit in her chest.
“Of course.” He cast her a quizzical look. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, today. I just thought…” Her words trailed off. If he had work for her that he trusted she could do, that was enough. No need to rock a boat that was already taking on water.
“I’m going to get the table ready. There’ll be too much food to fit out here.”
Rising to her feet, she headed for the kitchen.
Only to get stopped when he followed her and caught her hand.
“What were you going to say?”
She turned, staring at his chin rather than his eyes. “It’s noth—”
“Nothing important,” he finished for her. “Tell me anyway.”
“Jackson,” she sighed. “You were never this pushy before.”
“The benefits of recovering from a trauma. I get to cross lines for a while.”
He’s got a point.
“Please.” His other hand slid up her arm. “Let me know you better.” His smile was self-deprecating when he added, “For the time being, you’re my whole world, Lori.”
She swallowed hard. “But today you sent me away,” she whispered.
He frowned. “You had things to do.”
“You were my priority. What I had to do was help you.”
“And you are.”
“How?”
“I needed time to go over all the briefings you put together. They were very comprehensive.”
“I could have done that with you.” She looked away. “I could have helped you.”
“Hey.” Soft fingers touched her chin, turning her face back to his. “I was trying to be nice and not take advantage of you.”
“Take advantage?”
He nodded. “The way you talked about the me before my accident…” His words trailed off. “It didn’t seem like I treated you well.”
She frowned. “Why would that matter?”
“See?” He dropped his hands as if she burned him, pacing away. “It should matter.”
“I’m your employee.”
You’ve never seen me as anything else. You’ve never cared enough to try.
“You’re a person.” He glanced back at her. “And from what I can see, a kind, decent one at that. I don’t know what I was thinking before the memory loss, but now…”
“Now?” she asked, drifting closer.
He shrugged, as if his words were no big deal. “You matter to me.”
Warmth flashed through her. “But the way I acted yesterday. I thought you had questions about my professionalism.”
The crooked smile was back. “I don’t complain when a beautiful woman watches me.”
Her cheeks burned at the endearment. “Beautiful, huh?” The words were supposed to be light, teasing, but instead they came out breathless.
“Oh yes.” He closed the distance between them. “Did the other me never notice?”
Without a word, she shook her head.
“Idiot,” he said, his gaze running over her.
“We didn’t have that sort of relationship.” She paused. “Don’t. I mean, we don’t have a connection like that.”
His gaze dropped to her lips. “As I said, pre-run-over-me was a moron.”
She tried to laugh off the words, aware of just how close he was to her. “Just wait till you see some of the women you’ve been associating with in the past few months. Then you’ll understand why we were only ever professional with each other.”
“Impossible.”
She rolled her eyes. “Super models and actresses and—”
He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her up against his chest. Her words died as her palms flattened against his firm body.
“And where are they?” he asked her. “The only person I see who gives a damn about me is you. It’s about time I returned the favor.”
“This is a bad idea.” But her words were barely more than a whisper.
Push him away. Nothing good can come from this.
But he’d never looked at her the way he was now, and it had her toes curling.
None of this is real. Once he gets his memories back, it’s game over.
Was there any harm in enjoying a tiny taste before that happened?
“We should keep things professional,” she tried one last time.
“I don’t see you leaving.”
“I should. If I was smart I’d—”
His lips brushed against hers.
She sucked in a sharp breath at the gentle touch.
This is wrong. The very worst idea you’ve ever had, and that’s saying something.
He drew back to stare into her eyes, waiting for her to decide.
Be smart. Walk away.
Her feet refused to move.
This might be the only chance I ever have. What is the harm in one tiny touch?
She could be a professional assistant tomorrow. Right now, she was a woman who wanted to know what it’d be like to kiss the man of her dreams. Even if could only ever be once.
Giving in to temptation, she wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to her.
She kissed him the way she’d dreamed of, slanting her mouth over his. Closing her eyes, she tried to memorize how it felt to be in his arms. It was a perfect, gentle kiss.
Until he took over.
Hauling her up against his chest, he twined one hand through her hair, tilting her head to give him a better angle. Butterflies erupted within her and she gasped against his lips. Taking advantage of the opportunity, his tongue tangled with hers, sending another shiver racing down her spine. She twisted her hands into his shirt to help keep her balance. Hands roved over her hips as his mouth dominated hers. Her head swam as she tried to get a handle on the lust burning through her. Had she ever wanted anyone the way she wanted him?
It’d be so easy to slide his T-shirt up. Run her fingers along his bronzed skin…
It’d be so easy to get a taste of what I’ve always wanted.
Except Jackson didn’t know the whole truth. He didn’t know it was her fault he’d lost his memories and until he did, this crossed a line.
Her heart cried out as she forced herself to step back with one last brush of her lips against his.
“We can’t,” she said.
His eyes blazed as he watched her. “We clearly can.”
“You’re injured. This isn’t the time.”
“Because you’re not attracted to invalids? Your reaction would say otherwise.”
She rolled her eyes. “Because I’m trying to put you first, idiot.”
He reached for her once more. “I don’t want to be first. Put me last if that will get you back in my arms.”
“You’re like a little boy with a toy,” she said, shaking her head.
“Then come play with me.”
I’d love to. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Apparently, I’m brilliant, and I think it’s great.”
“You also have no idea what you’re walking into tomorrow.” She dodged his hands. “I’m the only person you know but that will change once we’re back in the office. Let’s just concentrate on getting through that.”
“And if we get through the week and I still want you to distraction?”
Her jaw dropped. “You don’t.”
“Beg to differ.”
“You can’t.”
He looked down at his sweatpants ruefully. “I assure you I can.”
“I didn’t mean physically.”
“I know.” His smile was bright as he teased her. “The rules we seemed to follow before don’t apply anymore, Lori. I’m not the same man I was.”
“But you will be.”
His sharp eyes narrowed. “Isn’t that the hope?”
She looked away. “Of course.”
Silence stretched before he murmured, “I see.”
More than I want you to.
“Let’s just focus on tomorrow. One step at a time, right?” she said.
With a sigh, he nodded. “Fine.” Catching her hand, he flipped it over and pressed a kiss to her palm, his gaze holding hers. “But we’re not done with this conversation.”
That’s what I’m afraid of.
The ringing of the doorbell saved her from having to respond. Slipping around him, she went to get the food.
And hoped she could survive the new Jackson that seemed to have taken over her boss’s body. It had been hard enough to leave him when he hadn’t wanted her.
How much harder would it be to leave him when he did?