WHILE I watched Jay sleep soundly beside me, I thought about how I never knew what it truly felt like to have that one person you could share everything with. I never knew what it was like to love or be in love. I had no guidance—no instruction. No father figure telling me everything he knew about women. No mother to tell me how to treat a lady. Should I buy flowers? Chocolate? Does Jay even like chocolate? I didn’t know much about her. Not the little things, anyway. But I knew that we were one in the same. Yes, she may have had a father. She may have experienced love but there was still something missing. She blamed it on the disappearance of her sister, but I knew it was long before that. Jay lived in a world that was dominated by men. She was raised by them and tried to overcome the fear of always being that little girl. I knew because I felt the same way. The little boy who lost his parents at such a young age. The little boy who would sit in the corner of his bedroom, waiting for the next hand to strike. Jay and I weren’t that different.
When she called me, telling me she was stranded on the side of the road, I thought my world had ended. Even though it had just begun. And I knew. Right then and there. It all made sense. But I couldn’t tell her yet. Not when every time she looked at me, there was doubt in her jade-green eyes. She was scared. Well, so was I.
“Are you sleeping?” she muttered, her voice rough from lack of sleep.
“Not anymore,” I kissed her neck. “How are you feeling?”
She rolled over onto her side and cupped my cheek. “Better.” Her eyes heated, burning into mine. “Much better.”
“What do you want, baby?” I asked, placing a soft peck on her lips.
“You,” she breathed, leaning her head back. “Always you.”
“For how long?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked that question, especially when her body stiffened. Shit. “Jay, I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
Her mouth crashed to mine, silencing me. “I want you for however long you’ll have me.”
Forever. But that word never left my mouth.
***
(Jay)
“Jay? Princess.”
My body stirred, my eyes fluttering open to find Angel standing over me. I frowned, sitting up. I was in one of the large booths by the bar of the clubhouse.
“What are you doing?” he asked, sitting beside me.
“I…” I stifled a yawn, rubbing the grit out of my eyes. “I must have fallen asleep.” Sometime through the night after Angel had used my body for both of our pleasure, I woke up antsy. Angel had been sound asleep, and not wanting to disturb him, I took my laptop and left my room. The sun had just been coming up at that point, the birds chirping like their little bodies depended on it.
“What are you researching?” he asked, nodding toward my laptop.
Tab after tab of news articles filled my browser. What was I researching? “I got a thought.”
“Want to talk about it?” He pulled me against him, circling his arm around my waist.
“I’m not sure, but I woke up when a thought crossed my mind.” I clicked on each of the tabs. “All of these articles have one thing in common. The missing girls. We already know that. I’ve read these over and over again. But it’s been weeks, so I figured I would come back with a fresh perspective.”
“Makes sense.” He nodded. “Go on.”
“Well this time, I found something odd. Before yesterday, I never thought that a woman would be in on this. I’m sure the police never thought that, either. Why would they? Why would a woman want to kidnap and sell other women? To make her more powerful? To throw authorities off her trail? It all makes sense. No one would expect this. It’s the ultimate move. Well, look at this.” I brought up an article, waited for him to read it, then brought up another one, and so on.
“These all mention a woman, the same woman, at every crime scene.” Angel frowned. “Why haven’t the police contacted her?”
“Because they can’t find her.” I tapped the screen. “It has to be the woman from yesterday.”
“But you don’t know that.”
“No. I don’t. But I have this feeling, Angel. I would bet everything I own that a woman is running this. Or she’s running it with another person, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks she’s the front runner.”
“How can you be sure?” he asked. “I don’t mean to be a dick, but this isn’t a movie, Jay. This is real life. These are real people we are dealing with.”
“I know that,” I snapped, pulling away from him. “Right now, I’m willing to believe anything to get my sister back and these girls safe.”
“I know.” He cupped my jaw. “I get that. But I don’t want you doing anything irrational or something that will get you hurt.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? Because. I don’t need to explain why.” His brows narrowed, a dark shadow passing over his face.
“Tell me why you care so much,” I pressed. It was the wrong time. I knew that, but I couldn’t stop the words from leaving my mouth.
“Jay, you would be smart not to push me right now,” he bit out through clenched teeth, his grip on my chin tightening.
His underlying threat sent a flutter racing through me.
I pulled my head from his grip and slid out the other side of the booth. Needing to use the ladies room and clear my head for a moment, I left the table without saying anything to him. My body burned, no doubt, from being stared at by the dark and brooding man.
A woman leading the human trafficking amused me in a way. Maybe she had men controlling her life. Maybe she needed to prove a point that she should not be messed with. I almost felt sorry for her if that were the case. I would never know. We had something in common, and it should have scared me, but it didn’t. I knew how it felt to live under someone else’s shadow. Even when Violet was around, I was always left in the dark. She was the light in my darkness. She was the sunshine where I was the rain. Everyone loved her. She was the perfect daughter and since she disappeared, I had tried so hard to take her place.
When I came back from the bathroom, I took a deep breath, ready to take Angel on headfirst. But when I saw him sitting there, hunched over the table, his head in his hands, my heart broke. God, I was turning into a pussy because of this guy. A small smile tugged at my lips.
“Name, Violet Mary Gold. Age, twenty-seven. Born on October 5th, 1988. Twin sister to Genevieve Elizabeth Gold. Daughter to Brian and Jenna Gold. Last known location, Greeneville, Ohio. Missing since June 19th, 2000.”
My heart stopped beating, all of the blood rushing through my body now pooling in the soles of my feet.
“I need this information fast, man,” Angel said, moving the cell to his other ear. “Yeah. She is important to me.”
My stomach somersaulted. “Angel?” I slid into the booth across from him, his eyes watching me and following my movements.
“Thank you,” he told the person on the phone.
“Who are you talking to?” I asked, not caring in the least that it was rude of me.
“Call me when you get something,” Angel said, hanging up his cell. “I’m trying to help you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“Say that again, Jay,” he demanded, leaning forward. “Tell me you don’t need me. Tell me you can handle this all on your own. Tell me you won’t get caught off-guard and attacked. Again.”
“That was not my fucking fault. I thought the woman needed help. What was I supposed to do?”
“You are way too close to this.”
“I am not,” I said, raising my voice. “You do not get to sit there and tell me what to do. I can’t deal with this from you. Not you, Angel. Anyone else I expect it. From Tyler. My father. Even my sisters. But not you.”
“I’m trying to look out for you,” he said, his gaze softening.
“I don’t need you to look out for me,” I shouted. “I need you to be at my side. Not in front of me or behind me. At my fucking side. If you can’t do that, then you can leave.”
“Is that what you want?” he challenged and crossed his arms under his chest.
I mirrored his pose, not having any idea what I wanted. “I want you to be there for me.”
“I will always be there for you. If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you. If you cry, I’ll be there to dry your tears. If you break, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.” He tapped his knuckles on the table. “But I refuse to allow you to put yourself in danger. Not even for your sister.”
“You can’t stop me.” He could, I knew he could, but I needed to show him that I wasn’t backing down. His words meant so much to me. They were exactly what I needed to hear and what I had been craving my whole entire life. To have that person who would stand by you no matter what. But that was different.
“Yes, I can. If I have to tie you to my bed, I will.”
Now didn’t that leave a yummy image in my mind? “Angel,” I said softly. Where did this weak girl come from? After everything that had happened, was I too tired?
“Jay.” Angel moved from his spot and sat beside me. “We can keep going back and forth or just move forward. I want to help you. Please. Just let me do that. Everything else will fall into place.”
“But I—”
“Stop with this I-am-an-island bullshit!” His fist landed on top of the table, rattling the wood. “I will tell you this once.” In a rough move, he cupped my throat, forcing me to look into his beautiful dark eyes. “I am falling for you. All right? I don’t know exactly what that means, so don’t expect me to elaborate. Just know that when I fall, I fall hard, and I will fall to the pits of the Earth for you.”
I swallowed loudly, not quite sure what to say to that. I searched his face, looking for any sign that he was lying, but his gaze stayed on mine, his mouth set firm and grim. He was falling for me. Everything I had hoped for had come true. It was a start. For us. For me.
“I don’t expect you to tell me you feel the same,” he said, loosening his hold on my throat and rubbing his thumb back and forth over my collarbone. “But I do know you feel something. I can sense it.”
“I do.” I nodded. “There is no way I can deny that.” I gripped his arms, rubbing my hands up and down the thick muscles. “I’m not trying to do everything by myself. It’s just how I’m wired. Please understand that.” And I was making excuses. I was delaying the inevitable. Tell him, Jay. God, I was so dumb. “Angel.” I inched closer to him, my mouth a hair’s breadth away.
“Yeah?”
“I…I’m…” My heart started racing.
“Jay, girl, there you are,” Max said a little too loudly and headed behind the counter to the coffee machine. Dale followed her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Another time, princess,” Angel whispered, his lips caressing the shell of my ear.
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
He pulled me in front of him, switching spots with me, and sat me in his lap.
“Boss,” Dale called out. “You good?”
“Yup,” Angel grunted. “You?”
Dale kissed Max hard on the mouth. “Definitely.”
She giggled, smacking him playfully on the arm. “Jay, how are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” I said, relaxing into Angel’s hard body.
“Good,” Max slid into the booth across from us. “Did you still want to have the meeting today?”
“She needs some rest, baby,” Dale suggested, sitting beside her.
“No,” I shook my head. “I’ve had enough rest.”
“Okay,” Max took a sip of her coffee. “You do know that Hell’s Harlem is stopping by, right?”
I know now. Shit. “I forgot.”
“Who’s Hell’s Harlem?” Dale and Angel asked in unison.
“Brogan’s step-brother’s MC,” I told them.
“They’re the good guys,” Max said when Dale shifted in his seat.
“Are they?” Angel whispered.
“Yes.” I patted his knee reassuringly. “It’s just an inconvenient time.” I would rather go back to bed but not to rest. I also had to stop by my shop.
“You’re burning the candle at both ends, Nugget.”
My father’s words bounced around in my mind. So true. Always damn true.
A rumble of engines interrupted my thoughts. It would be good to see the guys again.
“They’re here! They’re here!” Brogan appeared out of nowhere, clapping her hands together, and threw open the doors. “Hurry up and get off your damn bike. I want a hug, asshole.”
Angel chuckled. “Family love.”
I smiled. “They’re best friends. It’s pretty amazing.”
“Yeah and he’s hot,” Max swooned, fanning herself.
“Excuse me?” Dale bit out.
“Oh, whatever, baby. Just because I’m tied to the fence doesn’t mean I can’t bark at cars.” she kissed him on the cheek. “And so can you.”
“Woof woof.” He rolled his eyes, but when they landed on her again, they were filled with warmth.
She gave him a smile, one that was meant for him.
Do I smile at Angel like that? Do I give him a look that is just for him? I liked to think so, but I honestly had no idea.
“Where are my favorite bitches?” Greyson Mercer called out.
“Who the fuck is he calling a bitch?” Angel growled.
“Hey.” I cupped his cheek. “He doesn’t mean it. We’re family, baby.”
“I’m not used to this,” he muttered.
My chest tightened at the pain in his eyes. “That includes you,” I whispered in his ear and rose to my feet. Kissing his cheek, I slid my fingers between his.
“Fucking A,” he said, puffing out his chest and smacking me lightly on the butt.
I laughed, shaking my head. “Now, let me introduce you. What’s mine is yours, Angel.” It wasn’t everything I felt, but it was a start. And I knew he accepted that when he kissed me hard on the mouth. So hard it took my breath. It took everything in me not to push him down on the bench and show him how I felt. Show him that he meant more to me as each day passed. That he was enough.