Chapter 5
Zachariah
Before Avidya had come into my life, I would do just about anything to keep myself busy. There was always something that needed to be done either at the club I owned or the brothel downtown that I ran. I was always there at one of the places for one reason or another. There was nothing else for me to spend time doing. I literally threw myself into my work.
Now, I never wanted to leave home. Home was where Avidya was at, and where my heart was forever. I never knew that life would be so different with someone that I loved so deeply.
With Avidya, I had a purpose. I would do anything to keep us both alive. She was my life; my everything. I didn’t want to think about what could possibly happen if she were to leave me.
My father had given me orders, ones that he knew I’d find a way around, to take it easy and not dig into the past. Not yet at least. He was worried that I’d do something stupid and make one of us get hurt again, or worse, killed. Before now, I would have done anything to find the hitman.
I didn’t blame him, not when it came to my girl. She was what I was now living for. I knew nothing would ever come between us.
Being stuck in the hospital sucked. I hated sleeping without her in my arms, as I had quickly gotten used to being with her every night. It certainly hadn’t taken very long for either of us to fall asleep. She had looked as tired as I felt, even after her nap.
Being who I was, I was used to getting hurt. It was a given. It was something a man of my status had to get used to. Fast.
“How many times have you been shot?” Avidya asked as she sat in the uncomfortable chair beside my bed. I had just been released from ICU, and about damn time, too. I loathed all the beeping and nurses that had to come barging in every single fucking hour.
There was no privacy of any kind in the ICU. There wasn’t much in my own room either, but at least it was a bit better. At least now I could take a piss without being watched.
“Too many,” I yawned out. “Five, though, to be exact.”
“Oh,” she said, surprised.
My sweet girl had one rude awakening to how dangerous this life was. I had hoped to ease her into it as well as I could, but the car accident didn’t quite go along with my plans. If I could, I’d hide it all from her.
Being part of the mafia like I was, there was always danger around the corner. I always kept my guard up, and now it would be even tighter. I had guards for a number of reasons, and Avidya was going to hate me with how tight they were going to be watching her from now on.
I couldn’t help but look over at her. She was sore and tired, not used to dealing with the pain like I was. Her hair was a bit crazy around her shoulders, showing that she had gone to sleep with it wet once again. She still had some bruising along her face that was just about gone. I hated seeing such marks on her skin, knowing that she bruised way too easily.
“I could say it gets easier to deal with each time,” I laughed out before grimacing in pain as my shoulder was jarred with such movement.
“Don’t laugh,” she said, amusement mixed with worry shining through her tone and look.
I gave her a sheepish smile in return.
I had been cut with a knife a time or two, too. A few broken bones. A couple of concussions. I could even tell you the exact name of the man that caused each wound or hit. Each of them didn’t see another day, either. They each died by my own hand.
All in a day’s work.
I knew that my time away from everything was winding down, though. I couldn’t be gone for too much longer without my men starting to question my motives. I was their boss, their leader. I couldn’t stay hidden away with my girl, even though I would love to do nothing more.
If only life would work like that.
I knew that my family had taken care of everything so far, thankfully. The car accident had hit the newspapers just because there was a death. Everyone knew that I was still alive, so my men knew I’d be back. I knew they needed a hard hand to follow to make sure everything went smoothly.
I held Avidya to my chest, soaking up her warmth as she slept. I hoped with everything I had in me that she’d never be put in danger again. She didn’t need to be, and I’d do anything to make sure that didn’t happen again.
There were a number of things I needed to go over with her after she woke up. Not only the contract and the rules, to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind about everything, but also on what we would do about the wedding.
At the moment, my mother had put a pause on it after the car accident. Surprisingly, no one was too upset about it being pushed back who knows how long. I was okay with that. Neither Avidya nor I wanted a huge wedding as it was.
Maybe this would be the chance for us to do the wedding how we wanted. Yeah, highly unlikely due to whom my parents were.
Thirty-five minutes later, Avidya’s hand began to clench the material of my shirt against my chest as she let out a whimper. I briefly remembered Jonas mentioning that she suffered from nightmares and that she hardly talked about them afterward, preferring to wallow in misery.
I’d have to remind her that writing them down in the journal would help. At least then I’d get a look inside her head. I was sure she would pass up the idea of talking to someone that would be able to help her. Writing it down would be a start in the right direction.
“Vidie,” I spoke, waking her up.
At my voice, she jerked awake with tears in her eyes as she quickly looked up at me. A moment later, she laid her head back down, letting her tears soak through my shirt. I had no idea what to do for her; no idea what to do to make her pain and worry go away.
“I’m here,” I whispered, petting her hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
My heart broke. It broke seeing her so worried and upset about things that I couldn’t prevent. I hadn’t protected her, and I wish so badly to turn back time and make sure she wasn’t in the crossfire.
After a few minutes, she was able to get her emotions back under control. Her harsh breathing leveled out. She propped her chin up on her good hand and gave me a sad, tired smile.
“Talk to me,” I stated, more in a demand than anything else. I brushed her blonde hair off of her face, tucking it behind her left ear. My heart swelled with love just looking at her.
“It’s the same thing every time,” she sighed out, dropping her eyes to my chin. “I keep reliving it…the car crash. It’s like I’m there all over again. I can’t get it to stop.” At the last few words, her chin trembled as she fought back her tears.
“There’s more,” I hinted after she paused.
“You always die in my dreams, Zachariah,” she whispered, her eyes instantly filling with tears. “I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I love you too much to go through that.”
“You aren’t going to lose me, Avidya. Never,” I promised her as I pushed myself up, pulling her into my lap. “I’m not dead now for a good reason. I’m not that easy to kill off, you know.”
“I know, but just the thought that you could have been…” she sniffled out.
“I could have lost you too, honey, but here we are. Fate wanted us together, one way or another,” I said, hoping to soothe her the best that I could. “You are my life, Avidya Ray. I love you to the moon and back, and nothing, I repeat nothing, will ever separate us. Ever.”
It broke my heart to see her so worried, so upset, over the fact that she could have lost me. I felt the same way, and I had no idea what I’d do if I lost her. Neither one of us could live without the other, that was for sure.
“You are my world, my everything,” I went on. I pressed my forehead to hers, making her meet my eyes. “I will do everything to make sure that neither of us dies anytime soon. No one will take me away from you.”
“Promise?” she asked with a tearful look as she sat in my lap.
“Always,” I said before crushing my lips against hers.
Instantly, she melted into me, letting me take control. Her good hand made its way to my hair. My own hands went to her back, supporting her as I took control of not only the kiss but also her body.
One hand made its way to the back of her neck, supporting her as I slowly pushed her backward onto her back.
Her mouth opened in a surprised O as I fully laid her on the bed, and I took full advantage of exploring every inch of her warm mouth, not caring that it was sloppy. Her breathing began to quicken as I did so, small moans of approval coming from her chest.
“Zach,” she moaned out as I trailed kisses to her neck, covering her fully with my body. She, of course, pushed against me in need. She craved me as much as I craved her.
“I love you, Avidya,” I whispered in between kisses, feeling myself grow in my sleep pants. “You are mine,” I grunted out as she pushed against my growing erection.
My mouth returned to hers as I shifted my clothed cock against her clit, earning me a hiss at the friction. I couldn’t help but smile at her reactions, knowing we both needed more. So much more.
“Please, Zach,” she moaned.
“Just feel what I can do to you,” I muttered against her mouth.
As I practically dry humped her, I let my hand trail up under her flimsy shirt, feeling the hardened peaks of her nipples. As I swiped my thumb across the top of one, she moaned out, deep in the back of her throat. That one moan caused my cock to harden even more if it was possible.
“Next time I have you here,” I whispered, my voice husky with my own need. “You’ll be naked and writhing in so much pleasure you won’t know what to focus on.”
“Promise,” she panted, pushing against me. I knew she was close as her eyes clenched shut tight. I was damn close myself.
“Promise, Avidya,” I spoke, speeding up my thrusts against her.
Moments later, she came with a small moan as I followed closely behind. Warms spurts of my sperm coated the inside of my cotton pants, but nothing mattered as I watched my girl come apart at my actions.
I was fucked, and by that, I mean she owned me more than I owned her.