Coffee cup in hand, Jane strode through the lobby of McKay Industries on her way to the elevator. Dwarfed only by GM’s nearby seventy-three-floor Renaissance Center, McKay claimed every floor of the building for its own employees. The glass skyscraper was home to all twenty subsidiaries of parent McKay Industries, six restaurants, corporate apartments, stores, and even a movie theater. It was more than a building. It was a community where executives could live in luxury apartments overlooking the Detroit River and go downstairs to do their grocery shopping or see their physician. Hell, McKay even had its own zip code and its own post office. People from all over the world fought to work there.
Jane didn’t take her good fortune for granted. She loved Maddox and being a mother, but she also loved her career. She’d known early on that she had a head for business. At seven, while other girls in her neighborhood had served premade lemonade for a quarter a cup at their stands, she’d made hers from scratch and charged two dollars, pouring the lemonade over ice and serving it in secondhand mason jars she’d bought for a steal. Rather than spend the money on frivolous toys and candy, she’d put it all away in a bank account. In high school, she’d worked part-time for a corporate attorney, which gave her the opportunity to learn some of the legalities of business.
She hadn’t ever wanted for money. Her mother had provided her aunt and uncle, who were semiretired by the time they’d become her legal guardians, with a yearly stipend that was well above what they needed to be comfortable. But earning her own money, knowing that she could survive without the help of anyone else, had always been important to her. Now that she was older, she sometimes wondered if that drive stemmed from her mother’s abandonment. Her aunt and uncle loved her, but that hadn’t kept her from worrying they’d eventually abandon her too.
That drive had gotten her a full scholarship to college and a perfect 4.0 grade point average. And when she’d started as an intern at McKay, she’d worked eighty-hour weeks to prove to both herself and everyone else that she belonged there. It wasn’t until she’d gotten pregnant with Maddox that she’d panicked. He’d been a complete surprise.
The best surprise.
She got onto the elevator and pressed the button for the eleventh floor. Mondays were always the busiest day of the week, a fact she was grateful for today. She needed something to keep her mind off Ryder.
Meeting with Evan would definitely help her with that. In between obsessing over what had happened with Ryder and catching up on laundry, she’d thought about Evan’s bizarre behavior at the wedding. She’d even tried calling him yesterday, but she’d gotten his voice mail and hadn’t heard back from him. Obviously, whatever he’d wanted to talk to her about wasn’t important enough to interrupt his day off.
When she got to her office, she unlocked the door and stepped inside, turning on the lights. With a few simple items, she’d made this space her home away from home. A teal pillow on her chair for back support. A few plants here and there. Walls decorated with framed photos of Maddox and Dreama and inspirational quotes by Maya Angelou and Mahatma Gandhi. It wasn’t a coveted corner office, but she’d never complain because it was hers.
Sitting behind her desk, she flipped on her computer to check her schedule for the day and her work email. Scrolling through it, she confirmed her schedule was packed with meeting after meeting, and that didn’t even include the one with Evan in a few minutes.
She clicked open her email and scanned the list, spotting one from Evan sent the night of the wedding, time stamped 8:00 p.m., which was shortly after she saw him. That’s weird. The email came from the internal network, meaning he must have gone to the office immediately following their brief conversation.
Her stomach plummeted with dread.
He was probably quitting his position at McKay. It didn’t surprise her. With his skill, he no doubt had his pick of job opportunities.
Damn. She’d have to call HR to start an immediate search for a new software engineer. Hopefully he’d give them a couple of weeks before he left.
She opened the email. There was only one line of text.
Thought you should see this.
There was an attachment, but she hovered the cursor over the link. She assumed it was his resignation letter, but he didn’t sign his name to the email. What if it was a computer virus?
Biting her lip, she let her curiosity prevail and clicked on the attachment.
Computer code temporarily flashed across her screen before it was replaced by a giant yellow smiley face.
What the hell?
Shit, that couldn’t have come from Evan. She’d probably just let a virus infiltrate their network. She quickly deleted both the email and the downloaded file and then ran the virus protection program. Evan would have to check the network to make sure the virus hadn’t infected it.
There was a double knock on her door.
Oh good, that was probably him now.
“Come in,” she said.
Rather than Evan, her coworker Derek Gardner walked in. He was a newer hire, and he’d been working on developing the restaurant automation line for McKay. In his late thirties, he’d come to the company after freelancing for the last five years in the mechanical engineering field. As vice president of innovation, she spent a lot of hours with Derek in close quarters, and they had become friendly in the last year.
She had a feeling he had a bit of a crush on her. He’d never come right out and said anything, but he tended to find reasons to touch her all the time. Nothing obscene. Just a squeeze of the shoulder or a pat on her hand. Then again, he was friendly with everyone. He was the kind of person who took the time to get to know his coworkers and made sure to never forget a birthday. Not to mention, he always had a smile on his face.
Which was why she was shocked from the lack of it now.
There was something wrong. With Derek’s entrance, the energy of the room immediately shifted from peaceful to tense. Something told her he wasn’t here to talk about Evan’s resignation or a computer virus.
“What’s going on?” she asked, sitting up straight in her chair as if she could shield herself from the blow of whatever he was about to tell her.
He exhaled and ran his hand down his face. “Evan Donaldson is dead.”
All the air left her lungs. Dead? But…
“Oh my God. I just saw him Saturday night at Finn McKay’s wedding.” Such a silly thing to say. Why did the fact that she’d just seen him make it that much more unbelievable? “I was supposed to meet with him this morning. What happened?”
His lips curled into a grimace. “He ate his gun. They’re saying it was a suicide.”
Thought you should see this.
A happy face.
Had the email actually come from him? Was it some kind of message? A weird suicide note?
She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that he was gone, much less that he’d taken his life intentionally. “Suicide?”
“I know.” He came around the desk and rubbed her shoulder. “It doesn’t seem real. We went to lunch last week and he was so happy. He’d just found out that his wife was having a baby.”
“I didn’t know that.”
Guilt weighed upon her shoulders. What could have made Evan take his life? She couldn’t help feeling that if she had taken the time to talk to him at the wedding, maybe he’d be alive today. But why would he go to her? It wasn’t as if they were close.
Lost in thought, she stared at the photo of one-month-old Maddox on her wall.
“You mentioned you saw him at the wedding?” Derek asked gently, sitting on the edge of her desk. “He hadn’t mentioned he was invited.”
She looked up at him. “I’m not sure that he was. It was weird. He wanted to talk to me and I blew him off. Granted, it was seconds before my mother was about to walk down the aisle, but still…I guess I’ll never know what he needed to tell me.”
“Don’t feel badly. You couldn’t have known,” he said. “He called me Saturday night and left a message to call him back. I didn’t. So if you’re feeling responsibility, you can share some of it with me. But we weren’t the ones who put a gun into his hand and pulled the trigger. That was all him.”
It didn’t matter if the Pope himself told her not to feel guilty. She hadn’t caused Evan’s death, but if there was even a slight chance she could have changed his mind, she’d carry that responsibility for the rest of her life.
Strange that Evan had contacted both her and Derek on Saturday night. Whatever he’d wanted to discuss, it had to have been related to work.
Frustrated that she’d never know, she sighed and dropped her head in her hands. “I just wish I’d taken the time to talk to him.”
“Did he speak to anyone else at the wedding? Maybe they have some idea what was going on in his mind,” Derek suggested.
It was possible, but she doubted it. Something told her he’d specifically come to the wedding for her. But for now, she was going to keep that detail to herself. At least until she could substantiate it. “I honestly don’t know.”
Derek massaged the back of her neck. “Are you going to be okay?”
Guilt and sorrow be damned, she was a professional. At least for appearance’s sake, here at work, she had to keep it together. There was still work to be done and Keane would be counting on her to set an example for the employees in her division. She’d need to go and personally speak with every one of the forty people who worked on their floor.
She took a deep cleansing breath and nodded. “I should call Evan’s wife and offer my condolences. See if there’s anything McKay can do to help. Be a shoulder for her to cry on.” She shrugged. That sounded so trite. She couldn’t imagine the pain his wife was feeling. “Maybe she knows what he needed to tell us.”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate the call.” Derek offered her a sad smile and slid off her desk. “And if you need a shoulder to cry on, I happen to have one readily available to you, day or night.”
She stood up from her desk and gave him a hug, her arms wrapping around his warm, burly body.
He was so sweet. If circumstances were different, she may have entertained the thought of dating him. But he was her coworker…
And even if he wasn’t, her heart still wanted Ryder.
The phone rang. She pulled back from Derek and picked up the receiver, noting the call was from Keane’s secretary’s extension. “Jane Cooper.”
“Mr. McKay would like to speak to you in his office.”
Derek gave her a brisk nod and left her office, gesturing that they’d talk later.
She imagined Keane wanted to discuss the news about Evan. “I’ll be right there,” she said before hanging up the phone.
A few minutes later, she stepped off the elevator on the building’s top floor, a floor strictly reserved for Keane and his three assistants. It always felt as if she were walking into the West Wing of the White House. Everything screamed money, from the gold-painted walls to the cherrywood floors, which was funny once she got to know Keane because the man couldn’t care less about his wealth. But it helped him maintain the image of power and worked well to intimidate visitors.
Assistant Number Three greeted her at the desk in the lobby and buzzed her inside without saying a word. Jane went through the door and walked past the boardrooms, kitchen, and library, finally coming to the outside of Keane’s office where Assistant Number Two automatically lifted her phone to let Keane know she’d arrived. Jane continued through the double doors into Keane’s office. Assistant Number One, a recent Miss America, uncrossed her long legs and stood from her chair across from Keane at his desk. A fire crackled in the fireplace and soft classical music played throughout the room.
Other than his assistants and Finn, Keane rarely brought employees into his inner sanctum. Instead, he’d meet them in one of the boardrooms. But he’d always made an exception for Jane.
When Assistant Number One closed the door behind her as she left, he rose from behind his desk and crossed to her. He took both her hands in his. “Jane. I assume you’ve heard the news.”
Now that she was behind closed doors, her eyes burned with tears. “Derek told me. I just can’t believe it. He didn’t give any indication that there was anything wrong.”
“I know you worked closely with him,” Keane said softly. He put his arm around her and led her to the couch by the fireplace. “You’re going to need to speak with his assistant, Barbara, and temporarily take over his duties until we can find his replacement. She’ll be able to give you his passwords so you can access his files.”
It seemed so cold and callous to talk about Evan’s work like that, and yet she understood that it was necessary. She couldn’t allow her feelings to get in the way of business. She’d show Keane that she could maintain her professionalism in times of tragedy.
She wiped her eyes and settled on the couch next to Keane. “I can do that.”
“I should warn you. The police may come by to interview you.”
She frowned. “Police? Why would the police be involved?”
Did they know Evan had tried to speak with her only hours before he’d killed himself and that he’d sent her some kind of computer virus?
Keane waved his hand as if swatting a fly. “Standard protocol in a death investigation. They probably won’t even require your statement, but I wanted you to be prepared. There are times like these in business when our emotions will try to rule our behavior, but we can’t allow that to happen, Jane.”
“Of course not, sir.”
He continued without acknowledging her agreement. “The company must come first. It’s important to stay strong and professional in front of the world. Never give anyone the opportunity to exploit your weakness. Everyone has one. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. But wait until you’re home before you crack. Have a glass of wine, hold your baby close, and cry for the senseless loss. Then come back tomorrow with it all behind you.”
“Is that what you’ve always done?”
“It’s behind me a moment after I learn the news. I’m not a sentimental man. My first concern is always McKay Industries.”
His eyes radiated only kindness but for some reason his words gave her chills. This was the man Ryder had spoken of. Had she been blinded to Keane all along? Or was she imagining things because of Ryder?
She had to understand. Because to her, his lack of feelings made him a sociopath. “But when you’re home with your family…”
“McKay Industries is my home. My family. As for my wife, the last thing I would do is show weakness in front of her.”
“That seems like a lonely way to live. There’s never been anyone you could relax around? Anyone who could share your burdens?”
He sighed and stared at the roaring fire. “There was one…Maria, Ryder’s mother. She was a maid in the house. I had just divorced my first wife, Finn’s mother, and Maria…she was young. Innocent. Working to help support her parents back in Mexico. She was a special woman.”
“What happened to her?” she asked quietly.
“Her mother was ill. I flew her back to her poor rural village in Mexico to visit her. She never returned.” His gaze remained on the fire as he paused, seemingly lost in the memory. “Six months after she left, her sister came to my door with a baby—Ryder—and told me Maria had died in childbirth.”
Poor Ryder. She ached for him.
“Had you known—”
“No,” he said, looking at her, finally out of the spell he’d been under. “I had no idea she was pregnant. If I had known, I never would have allowed her to go. I’ve had to live with the knowledge that had she stayed, she would’ve gotten the care she needed rather than having my child delivered on the dirty sheets of her parents’ couch by a doctor who never even went to medical school,” he said with a curl of disdain on his lips. “Maria…was my last weakness. I never wanted to live through that kind of pain again.”
She’d never been in love, but she could understand how someone who’d loved and lost would create a barrier around his heart to protect himself. A man who’d loved like that couldn’t be a sociopath.
She took his hand and squeezed. “Keane…I’m so sorry for your loss.”
A small smile touched his lips. “It was many years ago. But that brings me to why I called you in here. I’d like to speak to you about Ryder.”
Her throat thickened with apprehension. He hadn’t called her in to talk about Evan? “Um, okay.”
The muscles lining Keane’s jaw tightened as he pressed his lips together. “He and I have been…estranged for several years. I’ve tried everything I can think of to try and repair the rift between us, but he’s an obstinate boy. He’s determined to forge his own path in life. I get that. Hell, I respect it. But he’s refusing to even consider the possibility that he can be a part of our family as well and that one does not negate the other. That’s where you come in.”
“Me?” she asked, her voice coming out far too squeaky for her liking.
“This has nothing to do with your job here at McKay. I want you to know that. Your job here at the company is secure for as long as you want it.”
Until this moment, she’d never doubted that. “That’s…good?”
“I sensed a connection between you and Ryder at the wedding.”
She brushed her hands down the length of her skirt, nervous by the turn in conversation. What did he know? “You did?”
A small smile played upon his lips and his eyes twinkled. “He was enamored with you. You’re a beautiful woman. Who wouldn’t be? I believe you’d be good for my son. I’d like for you to become friends with him. Get to know him. Maybe…date him. And while you spend time with him, you can put in a good word about me here and there. Convince him to give me a second chance.”
Underneath her blouse, sweat trickled down her chest as the room seemed to heat an extra ten degrees.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the shock from his suggestion left her flabbergasted. While she and Keane were now family, she was also his employee. Asking for her help in swaying Ryder’s opinion of him wasn’t only inappropriate, but it was also unethical. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable doing that.”
She’d defended Keane to Ryder. The Keane she thought she knew wouldn’t have made such a suggestion. But now she saw her mentor through new eyes.
“I could pay you,” Keane said. “Maybe help with a down payment on a nice house for you and Maddox.”
“No!”
Keane cocked his head as if trying to read into her reaction, but his expression gave away nothing.
Did he really believe Jane would take money to manipulate Ryder for him?
Or was he playing with her? Did he know that her connection to Ryder went much deeper than an introduction by Finn before the wedding?
She twisted her fingers together to hide their trembling. As Keane’s step-granddaughter, she would have no problem telling him his request made her uncomfortable, but as his employee, she worried a refusal would result in the loss of her job. There had to be a way to get out of this without insulting him or risking her employment.
“That wouldn’t be…I couldn’t take your money,” she said. “Besides, he’s my stepuncle now. What would people think?”
He waved a hand. “I doubt it would be a problem. Very few people are aware of your true relationship to Ciara.”
She flinched at his painful and insensitive reminder. Keane had never shown such callousness toward her before.
She had no plans on ever taking Keane up on his request, but other than her disgust and disappointment that he had asked her in the first place, she had run out of excuses. “Can I think about it?”
There was a long silence in which she wondered if she’d shown her hand. Keane had a way of reading people that was downright eerie at times. In negotiations, he could see straight through the bullshit and get to the truth before the opposition could think up a better lie. He stood, signaling the end of the offensive conversation.
“Of course, dear. No pressure. It’s not as if I’d fire you if you didn’t do this for me or remind you of how much I’ve done for you these past couple of years.” His tone was matter-of-fact, without a trace of hostility.
Her stomach sank and a lump formed in her throat.
No pressure?
He was her boss and hadn’t accepted the excuses she’d given him. And despite his so-called reassurance not to fire her if she refused, she couldn’t help but take the words as a veiled threat.
After leaving his office, Jane made her way back down to her floor and tried to process everything she’d learned from Keane this morning. Between his story about Ryder’s mother and his suggestion that she get close to Ryder in order to fix the relationship between father and son, she couldn’t miss that Keane had been attempting to manipulate her for his own gain.
While she empathized with Keane’s desperation to make amends with his son, she wouldn’t allow him to use her. The sad thing was she had already spoken highly of Keane to Ryder and would’ve continued to do so had Keane not asked her to do it. The conversation had left her with doubts about her mentor.
And doubts about herself.
Had he manipulated her in the past and she’d been blind to it?
She’d been so sure that Keane hadn’t stolen Ryder’s designs, but what if she was wrong? As vice president of innovation, she was responsible for the department, and any fallout from a theft would fall directly on her shoulders. Then again, why would Keane steal designs from his son if he wanted to reconcile with him?
She took off her glasses and rubbed her temples. She had to get it together before she hit her floor or everyone would know she was off her game today. She pinched her cheeks, bringing some much-needed color to them, and threw back her shoulders. By the time she walked off that elevator, there wasn’t a sign she was anything but the consummate professional everyone expected.
The innovation department’s floor was mainly set up in a square configuration, with cubicles in the middle and offices on the outside. Generally, assistants and interns sat in the cubicle closest to the employee they worked under.
Jane found Evan’s assistant at her desk, typing away with one hand while sniffing into a tissue with the other. Her eyes were teary and her nose was red from crying.
“Barbara,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry.”
Barbara Spencer had worked for McKay for more than twenty years in one capacity or another. She knew every member of the board, every manager, and at least half of the employees, which ranged somewhere in the thousands.
And the scary thing was she remembered all their names.
Barbara stood and pulled herself together as if she had a spine of steel. “Thank you, Jane. I just can’t believe he’s gone.” She tossed her tissue in the trash. “I’ve arranged to have flowers sent to his wife and offered to help with the funeral. She expects it will probably be on Saturday since it’s Thanksgiving this week and there’s an investigation…” The poor woman crumpled right in front of Jane’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I thought I’d cried my fill already.”
Jane gave her a much-needed hug. “Why don’t you take the next couple of days off and come back next Monday when we reopen after the holiday?”
“No. No.” Barbara plucked a tissue from the box on her desk. “I’ll be fine. It will help for me to stay busy. Besides, I’ve never taken an unplanned day off of work in my life. No point starting now.”
“Mr. McKay asked me to take over Evan’s accounts until we hire a replacement,” Jane told her.
The coding work was too technical for her to complete, but with a basic background in computers, she’d at least have the ability to see where he was in the process.
Barbara composed herself and stopped crying. “Evan was pretty protective of his software designs. He and I had a system of where to hide some of the more”—she paused and put a finger to her lips as if trying to come up with the right word—“valuable files.” Nodding, she picked up a framed photo and tapped the back of it. “I’ll download everything onto an SD card for you and get it to you by the end of the day.”
Jane gave Barbara one last hug and made her way back to her office. She had ten minutes before the rest of the hellish day began. Ten minutes to herself. Ten minutes to remember a time when she didn’t have to be strong. Ten minutes to remember what it was like to lose control in Ryder’s arms.
She didn’t know why she lost all rationality whenever she was around him. That wasn’t her. No, she was solid. Dependable. Boring. Dreama was the impulsive one. She had the filthy, unbridled sex with strangers. Not Jane. Jane was the one who carefully planned for every possibility before acting. It had once taken her a month to choose a pair of sneakers. And they only went on her feet. Yet she hadn’t hesitated to allow Ryder inside her in the most intimate of ways.
Settling into her chair, she picked up a photo of Maddox. He deserved a father. Someone who would always be there to catch him when he fell. But was that Ryder?
She had to give him some credit. He hadn’t demanded a paternity test. He’d actually seemed…excited about the possibility of being a father. But then he’d brought up that crap about keeping Maddox a secret because he needed time. Time for what? A part of her wondered whether she should just go ahead and tell Keane he was Maddox’s grandfather. Why did it matter to her if Ryder didn’t want anyone to know? Maddox wasn’t a pawn to be used in some grudge Ryder had against Keane. If he wasn’t going to have a father, the least she could give him was a family. A grandfather in Keane. An uncle in Finn. A…well, her mother was both his grandmother and aunt. And wouldn’t that mean that Keane was also his step-great-grandfather and Finn his step-grandfather?
She shook her head at the thought of Maddox’s twisted family tree.
It didn’t matter.
All that mattered was that he’d be loved.
Who was Ryder to deny Maddox that?
And yet…she couldn’t do it.
Not after this morning’s conversation with Keane. His attempt to direct her into a relationship with Ryder for his own purposes had shaken her confidence in him. She removed her glasses, placing them on the desk in front of her, and hung her head in her hands.
If she could maintain her composure at work on a day like this, surely she could keep her hands to herself. Just because she and Ryder had—what had Keane called it?—a “connection,” didn’t mean she and Ryder couldn’t keep their relationship platonic. For Maddox’s sake.
And for hers.
Sleeping with Ryder once had been reckless.
But Saturday night had been a mistake.
A hot, sweaty, orgasmic mistake.
One she wouldn’t be repeating.
She glanced at the clock and gathered the items she needed for her first meeting. Sitting on the edge of her desk, her cell phone chimed with an incoming call. She stilled and her heart pounded as she stared at it.
Getting a call on her cell during the workday wasn’t unusual. Dreama often called that line rather than using her business number, as did Maddox’s day care and pediatrician. In fact, there were dozens of people who could be on the other end of that call.
But somehow, the churning in her gut told her it was Ryder.