Chapter Thirteen - Brooke
I stand in the shower for as long as possible, until all of my hot water turns cold. I want to cleanse the thought of Jeff and his threats 0ff of my skin. I don’t want Anthony to hear me cry. I cry until I feel sick with it, shaking and gagging. Jeff’s visit had left me feeling terrified and unsure of what to do. Worse, it had interrupted my morning with Anthony. I’d been so happy. I’d felt light and floating, and then Jeff had ruined it all. He’d burst my bubble and reminded me that I wasn’t safe, that Autumn wasn’t, and that I was carrying huge secrets.
I hated lying to Anthony, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I didn’t want him to know about any of it. That I’d ever dated anyone as awful as Jeff, that Autumn and I had been attacked, that Autumn carried a gun because she’d been assaulted a few years ago, that she had used it that night, that we’d watched a man die, that Jeff was stalking me now, that this small town he’d brought his son to for safety and stability was full of such ugly and terrible things.
I cry for myself, for Autumn and all she’s been through, for Anthony and Michelle and David, for all things I don’t normally let myself cry about. I cry like I haven’t since that night itself. Since I’d been lying on the floor, terrified that a giant man was about to choke the breath out of my baby sister and take her from me forever. I cry until I feel like my skin is tingling and my brain is crawling.
There is no way I can get that money. Jeff made it very clear that I didn’t have a choice. He was going to the police if he didn’t give him his money. It’s impossible, though. He knows it is, I think. Jeff knows what kind of money I make and that I don’t have any way to get some like that. I’m half tempted to tell him to just do it – to just turn me in and let things run their course. If I actually thought it would help Autumn, I might, but I’m sure that as soon as the police examine the forensics, it would point back to her and we’d both be sitting in jail. I have to protect her.
I shake my head, stepping out of the shower and thinking. It’s not as true anymore, I realize. I wouldn’t just let Jeff put me in jail if I thought it would protect Autumn. Not with Anthony back. Not when it feels like we’re starting something really wonderful. I need to protect Autumn, and I also need to protect myself and all the things that are beginning to feel possible.
I have to end this. I have to make Jeff stop. I have to put an end to his intense and increasingly violent threats once and for all. In the kitchen, I can hear Anthony moving around. His car is still parked out front, and I know it is probably worth more than my entire apartment building. Maybe there is a way I can get the money and get Jeff out of my life. Maybe I can keep Autumn, and myself, safe.
I get dressed and head out to the kitchen. Anthony has made coffee and eggs and is sitting at the table on his phone when I come in. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I’m about to ask. I hope he doesn’t hate me for it.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” he says back. “Coffee?”
“Thank you,” I say, sitting down and gratefully taking the cup from him. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“It’s just coffee and eggs,” Anthony says, smiling. He’s put his pants from last night back on, and he’s just wearing an undershirt with them. It clings to his chest, to those muscles I’d buried myself in last night. They made me feel so safe. He’s watching me closely like he’s waiting for me to speak.
“I think there might be a way you can help me,” I say, trying not to wince. It’s not wrong to ask your oldest and best friend in the world for a loan, I tell myself. Friends borrow money from friends all the time. Anthony has more money than I even know how to comprehend: billions of dollars, so there’s no harm. I can’t quite convince myself it’s true, but I tell it to myself anyway.
“What do you need?” he asks, sitting up straighter like he’s ready to spring into action. Looking at Anthony here in my kitchen, I understand what I’d ever seen in Jeff even less. Anthony is such a good man. He genuinely cares about me, his son, his mom, and the important people in his life in a way I’m not sure someone like Jeff is even capable of.
“Fifty thousand dollars,” I say in a rush – before I can talk myself out of asking. Anthony frowns.
“What?” he asks. He sounds troubled, or maybe even hurt, and I feel terrible, but I ask again. This has to end.
“Fifty thousand dollars,” I repeat, “I’ll pay you back. I promise I will, but I need it. Now. Please, Anthony.”
“Why? Are you in trouble?” he asks, still frowning.
“I can’t tell you, but if you can give me fifty thousand, it will be over, for good,” I say. I know it’s an unfair position to put Anthony in, and for all I know right now he’s thinking that everything that’s happened between us since he’s been back has been me using him for his money. Maybe he’ll never forgive me, but I don’t know what else to do. I have to do this.
“If something dangerous is happening,” Anthony starts, but I shake my head and grab his hand.
“Please,” I say, “Anthony, please. This will fix everything.”
“Fifty thousand?” he asks, still frowning. I sag back in relief. I still feel like shit about it, but I just need to put an end to this.
“I’ll pay you back,” I say, watching as Anthony reaches for his checkbook. He shakes his head.
“Don’t worry about it, Brooke. You don’t need to pay me back,” he says. There is a gruffness to his voice now, something that sounds hurt or worried . . . or maybe both.
“I will. I swear I will,” I say.
“Don’t. Seriously, don’t worry about it,” he says. “Should I make this out to you?”
“To cash,” I say. I’ve never been so miserable and so relieved at once in all my life.
Anthony writes the check and passes it to me. “Do you need anything else?” he asks. His voice sounds tight with concern.
“No, just this. Thank you so much,” I say. I drink down the rest of my coffee and bolt up from the table to call Jeff. I can feel Anthony’s eyes still on me. I should tell him more, but if I finish this right now, there is no reason for him ever to know. It will be over, Jeff will be gone, and Anthony and I can build on what we’ve been doing since he’s been back. As long as he forgives me for this, we can leave it in the past.
I dial Jeff and tell him I have the money. He sounds surprised, but orders me to come to an address I don’t recognize. I enter it into my phone when we hang up and see it’s on the other side of town. I grab a jacket from my room and head out to end this.
“I’m sorry to run out. I’m sorry for everything, but I have to take care of this,” I say to Anthony. He nods, still frowning.
“Let me come with you, at least,” he says. I wish I could. I wish I could have Anthony at my side when I face Jeff, but he’s already too involved. Even asking him for the money is too much of a risk. I can’t let him come with me, as much as I want him to.
“I have to do this alone,” I say. “I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
“I don’t like this at all,” Anthony says, crossing his arms. His jaw looks tight and his voice is low.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. I want to stay and talk this out with him. I want to take him with me. But I can’t do either. I have to go. I head for the door, leaving him sitting in my kitchen.
“Brooke, please let me help,” he calls to me again as I leave.
“You are helping. I have to go,” I say, going out the door without even turning around, scared I won’t go through with it if I look at him again.
I get in the car and drive to the address Jeff has given me. I repeat to myself it will be over soon, that I’m handling it. Everything for me, Autumn, and Anthony will get better.